THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Don't miss your chance to get $50 worth of FREE
L'oreal and Redken shampoo samples
http://tinyurl.com/yzuznex
A person who knows how to laugh at himself
will never ceased to be amused.
Shirley MacLaine
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Please help me settle a dispute. A friend of mine says
these sheets are Egyptian cotton.
I say, no way............they're definitely Pima cotton
......named after the Pima Indians in Arizona .
The cotton is long staple due to long growing season.
What a total dumbass...Egyptian cotton, I wonder what
the hell he's been smoking?!!.
Obviously, doesn't know shit about cotton!!!
When you're RIGHT, you're RIGHT,
and that's all there is to it!!!
WHAT WAS THAT DUMBASS LOOKING AT??????
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
ram it down our throat---
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w050.html
I learned to play golf
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w051.html
give a man a fish
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w052.html
hey
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w053.html
illegal aliens
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w054.html
that's long
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w055.html
hope you don't mind
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w057.html
your mother
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w056.html
I didn't see it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w058.html
_______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
I need to run
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8174.html
boobies
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8175.html
stationary is bad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8176.html
bones
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8177.html
now that's a surprise
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8178.html
only you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8179.html
only you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8179.html
in 2010
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8180.html
Questions and Answers from an AARP Forum
Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger,
sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish
the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.
Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned
in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: 'And Mary rode Joseph's ass
all the way to Egypt ...'
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your
60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the
elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses..
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet
and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go bra-less.. It will usually pull them out.
______________
The police department received a call at 1 a.m. from
a professor at the local university who reported a break-in.
"The man was a huge brute," the professor reported.
"He ripped the covers off the bed and found me sleeping
naked. He looked at me in the most vile possibly way and
then he exposed this incredibly large penis."
"That's not the worst part. He made me put that disgusting
thing in my mouth, then he turned me over and shoved it
up my ass until I felt like I would split in two.
We'll send a squad over right away to look for him,
the officer said. Oh, you don't have to do that, the
professor said, he's in the shower now. Why don't you
just come over and pick him up in the morning."
______________
As an engineer in an upscale hotel, I was asked to repair
or replace the television in a guest room.
When I arrived, the couple was watching a picture
one-third the size of the screen. I knew all our spare
sets were in use, so I figured what the heck: I struck
the side of the TV with the heel of my hand.
The picture returned to full size. "Look, honey,"
said the wife to her husband.
"He went to the same repair school as you."
_____________
As they walked into the golf pro shop at our country club,
two golfer's (newbies) noticed a sign. It read:
Golf Lessons: 13 for $140.
Single lesson: $1,000.
They saw the head pro across the room, and went over to him.
"Why," they asked, "do you charges $1,000 for a single lesson
yet offer a series of 13 lessons for only $140?!"
"It's simple, really," he replied. "If you expect to learn golf
in one lesson, you're expecting a miracle. And if you're
expecting a miracle, you should expect to pay for one."
____________
I asked Linda to go to a movie with me, and she said,
"No, I won't go to the movie with you because I know
what you will do! You will unbutton my blouse and play
with my titty with one hand, and have your other
hand up my dress fingering my pussy and you will
want me to jack you off!" I said, "I wouldn't dare
do that! Why, people behind me could see us!"
She says, "That's right, so could we get there
early and get seats in the back row?"
_______________
There are four kinds of sex:
HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and
have sex all over the house in every room.
BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for
a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.
HALL SEX - After you've been married for many,
many years, you just pass each other in the
hall and say "Fuck You."
COURTROOM SEX - This
is when your wife and her lawyer fuck you in divorce
court for every penny you've got in front of many people.
__________
1. I'm nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore I'm perfect.
2. If I save time, when do I get it back?
3. Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
4. War doesn't determine who's right. War
determines who's Left.
5. Best way to prevent hangover is to stay drunk.
6. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train
station is where train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station... What more can I say.
7. If it's true that we are here to help others, then,
what exactly are the others here for?
8. The Best of Provebs : Should women have children
after 35? No, 35 children are enough
9. Living on Earth may be expensive...but it
includes an annual free trip around the Sun..
10. Your future depends on your dreams So go to sleep !
11. ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY So what ? Who's in a hurry ?
_____________
A blonde goes to the local restaurant, buys a small drink for herself,
and sits down to drink it. She notices a peel-off prize sticker on the
side of her cup while she is drinking. After pulling off the tab, she
begins screaming, "I won a motor home! I won a motor home!"
The waitress runs over and argues, "That's impossible. The biggest
prize given away was a stereo system!"
The blonde replies, "No. I won a motor home!"
By this time, the manager makes his way over to the table, and he too
argues, "You couldn't possibly have won a motor home because we didn't
have that as one of our prizes."
Again the blonde says, "There is no mistake! I won a motor home!"
The blonde hands the prize ticket to the manager and he reads,
"WIN A BAGEL."
_____________
BUFFALO Bill
1426
http://www.buffaloschips.com/agtrrre.htm
Mrs Hughes
http://www.buffaloschips.com/agtrre.htm
Friends
http://www.buffaloschips.com/akjijk.htm
1802
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dkjksjks.htm
______________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Christmas Shopping In Detroit
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000344.html
Christmas With a Capital 'C'
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000345.html
Church Funnies
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000346.html
______________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
How Will You Die?
http://tinyurl.com/cy968v
Grandma Fail
http://tinyurl.com/mbckgm
Diary of a Mad Cat
http://tinyurl.com/yzr436d
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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