THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Everything in life represents an
opportunity. But unfortunately, all
most folks do is complain about the noise
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
It is good to be back home again. Me and
the war department left to go visit relatives
last Friday morning back home in Iowa, and we
just returned last night. I had forgotten that
last Saturday night the Wolverines were to play the
Hawkeyes. And so when the Wolves came up short
a couple of points, naturally I caught a great
deal of "static" from cousins, uncles, and etc.
But it was a great time, and one of the best things
about "going home" is the good home grown food.
Uncle Rodney brought a great big potfull of
squirrel stew. And that my friends, is something
to die for ... it was wonderful.
Most of the relatives still farm, and we had
roast beef, corn on the cob, and a great many
good things too numerous to mention. Everybody
showed up too, which is a little surprising.
It is harvest season and every body is busy
combining soybeans. With a staggering price
of over $9.50 a bushel all my uncles cousins
and nephews are hustling to get the fall harvest
finished. Who can blame them? But it makes you
feel pretty good to know they care enough about
you to take time off for you. Stacy, my
niece, sent me home with a number of jars of
homemade pickelilly, (sortof a homegrown version
of pickle relish)and I am addicted to the stuff.
Brian, my nephew, gave me a couple of bushels of
good old Iowa sweet corn to lug home. The trunk
of the Crown Victoria was a little overloaded
making the trip back, lemme tell ya.
But now I am
back, and it has been several days since you have
had good jokes, so lets get down too it, shall we?
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________
THE COMICS
ouch
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w031.html
special discount
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w032.html
so far
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w033.html
get off
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w034.html
meow
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w035.html
daily intake
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w036.html
pet show
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w037.html
___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
playin for pepsi
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8162.html
brings life back
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8163.html
karma
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8164.html
the car wash
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8165.html
gun idiot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8166.html
condoms
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8167.html
Lorne was an old man, he was sick, and he was in the hospital.
Anyway, there was this one young nurse that just drove him crazy.
Every time she came in, she would talk to him like
he was a little child. She would say in a patronizing
tone of voice, "And how are we doing this morning, or
are we ready for our bath, or are we hungry?"
Old Lorne had had enough of this particular nurse.
One day, Old Lorne had received breakfast, and pulled
the juice off the tray, and put it on his bed side stand.
He had been given a Urine Bottle to fill for testing.
The juice was apple juice. So.....you know where the juice
went. Well, the nurse came in a little later and picked
up the urine bottle. She looks at it. "My, but it seems
we are a little cloudy today....." At this, Old Lorne
snatched the bottle out of her hand, pops off the top,
and drinks it down, saying, "Well, I'll run it through
again, and maybe I can filter it better this time."
The nurse fainted..... Old Lorne just smiled......
_____________
The city slicker was spending some time with his country
cousins. The first morning the farmer said," We need some
help today. I'd sure appreciate it if you could take the
bull to pasture three to breed with the cow there."
The city slicker agreed. Six hours later, he staggered
back to the farmhouse, his clothing all torn and disheveled.
The farmer took a look, then asked, "The bull give
you a problem?" "Hell, no. the bull was eager and raring to go." "
Then why did it take you all day?" "Because," the city
slicker replied, "The cow fought me for hours
before she'd roll over on her back."
________________
Billy Bob goes to the local novelty shop and finds a
pair of x-ray glasses. He checks them out, and isn't
fully convinced, but as usual, the store assistant
comes along and closes the deal.
On his way home, Billy Bob puts on his new x-ray
glasses and, bingo! He sees everyone in the street
naked. He takes them off for a moment, and everyone
has their clothes on. Puts the glasses back on...
everyone is naked! "Cool!"
As he arrives back home, he is eager to show his new
toy to his wife but can't find her. He goes up to the
bedroom and finds his wife and the postman, naked in
bed. He takes his glasses off, and the two are still
naked. He puts them back on, and they are still naked.
Billy Bob then says, "Damn, I just paid fifty bucks for
these and they're already broken!"
____________
A young man finally got a job at the Post Office.
He was full of energy and eager to please. The supervisor
agreed to work with the new employee, even though he had
been warned that he was still immature and knew nothing
of the job.The first job the supervisor gives the young
man is in sorting, and much to everyone's surprise,
the new employee separated the letters so fast that
his motions were literally a blur. The supervisor was
very pleased and asked the young man to come into his
office at the end of the day. He said, "I just want
you to know that we are all very proud of you. You're
one of the fastest workers we have ever had."
The humble young man said, "Thank you, sir. And
tomorrow, I'll try to do even better."
"Better?" the supervisor asked with astonishment.
"How can you possibly do better?"
The young man smiled proudly and said, "Tomorrow,
I am going to read the addresses."
___________________
The father watched through the window as his young daughter
made a snowman with a little friend.
Entertained by the sight, he went closer and heard the
little boy say: "I've got an idea. To finish it off, I'll go
to the kitchen and find a carrot."
And his daughter replied, "Make it two. The second can be his nose."
BUFFALO BILL
Foul Ball
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Fox Hat
http://www.buffaloschips.com/anmnh.htm
Fragrance
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ajkio.htm
French Anti Tank
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aloki.htm
____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Change
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000320.html
Change Is Good
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000321.html
Change Your Socks
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000322.html
_______________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Redrum
http://tinyurl.com/pqojec
Halloween Monster Name
http://tinyurl.com/yafh7ff
Dog Fight 2
http://tinyurl.com/d8h3lc
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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