THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
"To the man who only has a hammer in the
'toolkit, every problem looks like a nail."
~Abraham H. Maslow
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
In breaking news today:
FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
President Obama sat down to watch a
football game and won the Heisman trophy.
As Obama was driving to pick up his Nobel
Peace Prize, he accidentally
won the NASCAR Sprint Cup.
On a lesser note, his name has been scratched from
the winner's list of the Kentucky Derby as a result of
the post race examination. It was determined that
he had no forelegs, and and consisted of just a horse's
rear extremities, he did not qualify under current Derby
rules. A democratic spokesman states Obama will ask
Congress to enact legislation that will eliminate the
"Don't ask, don't tell" policy and once again, in next
year's Derby , Obama will have the horse shoe shaped
wreath of roses placed around his neck.
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We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_______________
THE COMICS
your point of view
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w070.html
doggie christmas
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w071.html
stop complaining
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w072.html
honestly dear
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w073.html
women are equal
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w074.html
overnight
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w075.html
my bum
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w076.html
female execs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w077.html
breast implants
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w078.html
Susanne?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w079.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
sprite
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8186.html
web cam traffic in Iraq
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8187.html
kitties
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8191.html
guitar drifting
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8189.html
this kid can dance
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8190.html
_______________
Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A: So that when they're on the subway
train they can tell if they're
Going to work or coming home.
_____________
JACK AND JILL
Jack and Jill Went up the hill,
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass and grabbed her ass,
And now two of his front teeth are missing.
______________
One day a man went to England on a trip and
met a woman there, they grew to like each other
enough for her to come to America with the man
on his flight home. When they got back to America
the man said "I would like to show you an American pastime."
The woman said, "What is it?"
"Baseball," the man said.
The next day, the man took her to a baseball game.
The first man came up to the plate and hit the ball
to right field and got to first base, the next man
bunted the ball and beat the throw to first base.
The third man came up to the plate and he gets walked.
The man says, "Are you understanding this game?"
The woman says, "Yes, but what I don't understand is
why the thrower hurls the ball at the first player,
and he hits it, then he hurls the ball at the second
player, and he taps it and runs to where the other man
was standing and then the third player, this is the
part I don't understand, the thrower hurls the ball
and he just stands there - 4 times - and then he
just walks to the place where the other man was standing."
Then the man says, "Well that is because he has four balls."
The woman says "Poor thing he couldn't run if he tried."
______________
Men & women
Men :
1. All men are extremely busy .
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them .
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have
one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try
their luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really
pissed off if the women leaves them.
7. Although the women leaves them they still don't learn from
their mistakes and still try their luck with others.
Women :
1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and
buy expensive clothes.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never
have something to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they
always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes
are always just "An old rag".
6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag",
they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do,
they don't believe you
______________
Prince Charles is driving his Land Rover to Sandringham
to see his mum. He enters the gate and waves at the
guard,just as he pulls onto the driveway he feels a *bump*
and a high-pitched howling noise. He quickly stops the car
and gets out, to his horror he sees one of his mums Corgis
badly crushed under the wheel of the car.
The poor dog is already dead and Prince Charles does not
know what to do. His mum will be heart broken and she
will be very upset with him.
Just then there was a bright flash and *pooof* a beautiful
fairy appeared floating in front of him.
"Who are you?" Asked Prince Charles
"I'm your fairy godmother" she replied in a soft voice
"I sensed you were in need and am here to grant you any wish you desire".
"Any wish I desire" repeated Prince Charles "What luck!
Well as you can see I just ran over one of mums dogs and she
will be most upset. So please, can you bring the doggy back to life?"
The fairy godmother took out her magic wand and walked over
to the squashed Corgi and after looking at it for a while
she said "It is very errrr, squashed and I'm afraid my
fairy magic has its limits you know. Isn't there anything
else you desire, another wish I could grant you?"
Prince Charles scratched his head and thought about it for awhile.
"Ah ha," he said, "I know what I would like to wish for. Please can you make
Camilla as beautiful as Diana was?"
The fairy godmother had a stunned look on her face, she paused
for a second, and said, "Well, perhaps I could have another try at the dog."
_______________
"He's great on the court," a sportswriter said of a college
basketball player in a interview with his coach. "But how's
his scholastic work?"
"Why, he makes straight A's," replied the coach.
"Wonderful!" said the sportswriter.
"Yes," agreed the coach, "but his B's are a little crooked."
______________
BUFFALO Bill
Indian Teacher Explaining the Word *uck
http://www.buffaloschips.com/azsxa.htm
Instant Justice Mega Mix
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aqwsa.htm
Iraqi Speed Bump
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aawqs.htm
Irish Beer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ajdku.htm
_____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Samantha Swift & the Golden Touch
http://tinyurl.com/ozfjs8
Warlords Heroes
http://tinyurl.com/b7os84
Real Crimes The Unicorn Killer
http://tinyurl.com/qpvfvo
________________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Unbelievably Strange But True
http://tinyurl.com/nnfhwh
The Insideous Insulter
http://tinyurl.com/yggdg46
Lingerie Bowl
http://tinyurl.com/dmvdk7
___________
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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