Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I was forwarded a letter today from the Humane Society suggesting
that we boycott iHop restaurants for cruelty to chickens. It is true
that cage farms are dirty and crowded but if you have ever lived
around a farm you know that chickens don't toilet train well. Free
range chickens poop in their food and water, and if they roost in
trees
they poop on each other. They hide their eggs in places that are
hard
to find and if their beaks haven't been clipped they will eat the
eggs
just as fast as they lay them to replace the calcium in their
bodies.
Their motherly instinct is limited to a few who which to nest and
will
sit on any egg whether it be a chicken or a turtle until it hatches.
So anyhow the conditions in the cage farms could be improved
but without that system you can't produce 200,000,000 eggs a day
and even if you don't do breakfast and never have an egg salad
sandwich unless you truly try to avoid eggs you are going to have
some each days in baked goods. It may suck to spend your life
cooped up in a cage with so many others and then to be tossed away
once you no longer produce, but we got millions of office workers
that do the same thing everyday. If they told me that they forced
the
chickens to lay a dozen eggs each a day by attaching electrodes
to their heads and giving them a 1000 volts everytime they want an
egg
I would say that's cruel but any other method would double or triple
the
costs of eggs. Do you want to pay 4.59 for an Egg McMuffin?
Enjoy the chips and go have some egg nog..... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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BK Chips
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A link on MSNBC.COM explained why the "Hire The Mentally Handicapped
Program" has taken on such a foothold at Burger King...... The King
has teamed up with . . . sigh . . . AOL.
Holy shit. Can you just see it now?
"Hi, this is AOL / Time / Warner / Burger King, how can I help you?"
"My hamburger isn't done the way I want it."
"Did you install salt and pepper, mustard and ketchup?"
"No, I didn't."
"You have to install those before it'll work, sir."
"But I don't want mustard and ketchup on my hamburger!"
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"Jesus, I would hope so!"
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"If I flip it over, all of the meat will fall out!"
"Sir, what color is the lettuce?"
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"Orange is *good*???"
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"What does *that* mean?"
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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if you don't this time http://www.thepostm
I'll have to ask you another question
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you made sushi!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny's teacher decided that the children should learn about
mime, so she had each of them develop a speech, which was to be
relayed by using motion only. When Little Johnny's turn came, he
stood up in front of the class:
"Ladies (grabbing chest) and gentlemen (grabbing crotch)..."
Little Johnny's teacher wasn't amused, so she sent him to the
Principal's office. Little Johnny explained what happened, so the
sympathetic Principal told him to revise his speech as follows:
"Ladies (motioning woman's curves) and gentlemen (making a muscle
with his arm)..."
Little Johnny went back to class and proceeded to give his speech
again:
"Ladies (motioning woman's curves) and gentlemen (making a muscle
with his arm), it gives me great pleasure (whacking-off motion)..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You wouldn't sleep with Angelina Jolie for a million dollars, would
you?", asked the cuddling wife. "Don't be ridiculous," said the
husband. "How am I gonna raise a million dollars?"
Did you hear about the circumciser who missed? He got the sack.
Okay, so the Viagra my boyfriend took was still having an effect
hours later -- does that give him the right to go running to the
emergency room asking to see the head nurse?
I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the
drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
"Just try to relax, this won't take long," said the gynecologist
trying to calm the obviously nervous young blonde patient. "Haven't
you ever been examined like this before?" he asked. "Yeah, sure,"
she replied, "but not by a doctor!"
What do you Call a period?
A waste of fuckin' time.
What does a prostitute have at the end of her shift?
A box of Assorted Creams!
What's a dildo farmer's greatest threat?
Squatters.
What do you call a herd of masturbating bulls?
Beef strokin' off. (Richard Lederer).
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Slogan Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rejected Slogans
Microsoft:
"How much are you going to pay today?"
Penis Enlargement Specialists:
"It Don't Mean a Thing If It Ain't Got That Swing!"
Eggs:
"The Incredible Edible Ovum."
Iguana:
"The other green meat."
Daisy Air Rifles:
"Keeping kids off your lawn for over forty years."
Nike:
"Just buy the damn shoes, you flabby spineless lump!"
Radio Shack:
"You've got questions; we've got geek losers!"
Canon Photocopiers:
"Quit calling them 'Xeroxes', dammit!"
Trojans:
"Just add meat."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nun Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the
VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why
he is staring.
He replies: 'I have a question to ask, but I don't want to offend
you.'
She answers, ' My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I
am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see
and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you
could say or ask that I would find offensive.'
'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'
She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that:
#1, you have to be single and
#2, you must be Catholic.'
The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and
Catholic!'
'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker
blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts
crying. 'My dear child,' said the nun, 'Why are you crying?'
'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess; I'm married
and I'm Jewish.'
The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a
Halloween party.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Green Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man enters the confessional and says to the Irish Priest, "Father,
it has been one month since my last confession. I have had sex with
Fannie Green every week for the last month."
The priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say 3
Hail Mary's."
Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two
months since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green
twice a week for the last two months."
This time the priest asks, "Who is Fannie Green?"
"A new woman in the neighbourhood,
Very well," says the priest. "Go and say 10 Hail Mary's."
The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his
sermon when, suddenly a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church. All
the men's eyes fall upon her, as she slowly glides up the aisle and
she sits down in front of the altar. Her dress is green and very
short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes. The priest and altar
boy gasp, as the woman sits down with her legs slightly spread
apart. The priest turns to the altar boy and asks, "Is that Fannie
Green?" The altar boy, whose eyes are popping out of his head,
replies;
"No Father, I think its just the reflection off her shoes."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Jesus is the Light
http://silverandgol
John w/ Kaw-Liga
http://heavens-
My Remembrance Of You
http://www.jozeemae
*+*+*+*+*+*+
If anyone is interested in GETTING A HALLOWEEN COSTUME online I sell
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yesterday so I'm typing with my left finger (SLOWLY) and that's
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with us it's on Halloween at 8 pm.INFO BELOW
http://www.ghostsan
http://www.ghostsan
MELISSA
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Surfin Surfari
Happy Haunting Bowling
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Nursing Home Watch
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Gangsterland Ghost Page
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Annie's Halloween http://wtv-zone.
Cat Graphics
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Midi Music
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Animal World
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Movies
Foul Ball
http://www.buffalos
Fox Hat
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Fragrance
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French Anti Tank
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Friendly Dolphin
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For The Lazy Sports Fanatic
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Fox Thief
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Freak out. No Whopper
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Fred Astaire & Eleanor Powell
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Friends Come and Go
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Baby Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man goes to a surgeon and convinces him that he wants to have the
experience of having a baby.
"Impossible,
"But I need that experience," insists the man.
Eventually the surgeon agrees, and tells the man to come back next
day for the operation.
Next day he is put out and operated on. When he comes around he asks
the surgeon if the operation was successful.
"Yes, perfect."
"When will I have the experience of having a baby?" asks the man.
"Just as soon as you have drunk this pint of olive oil," says the
surgeon.
"How's that going to give me the experience?"
"Because I have sewn up your ass.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
come together
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commercial
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cumming
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community picnic1
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complain1
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
She was a nurse, and he a cop rookie
From work they decided to play hooky,
From the break of dawn
Well into mid-morn
They sure enjoyed their breakfast nookie
A carpenter living in Crewe,
Who had nothing whatever to do,
Once assisted a whore
With the hinge of her door,
But he made her pay for the screw.
My boss is a fellow named Sid
With the mind of an eight-year-old kid
Just outside his door
A sign said, "Wet floor,"
Sid saw it, and read it ... and did!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Virgin Maria received a gift from God for services rendered two
millennia ago. She was given the gift of reincarnation on earth for
one week. The only stipulation was that she had to telephone God
every night while she was on earth. The first night, she called back
and said, "Hi, God, this is the Virgin Maria. Today, I got drunk."
God replied, "That is not so good. You must promise to never do that
again." And so she did. The second night, she called back and said,
"Hi, God, this is the Virgin Maria. Today, I smoked marijuana." God
replied, "That is not so good. You must promise to never do that
again." And so she did. The third night, she called back and said,
"Hi, God, this is Maria."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
These three teenage girls were roommates. One friday night right
after the semester started they all had all gone out on dates, and
by chance all came home at about the same time.
The first one came in and said with a smug look on her
face, "You know you've been on a good date when you come
home with your hair all messed up."
The second one laughed at her and said, "No, no, that's nothing! You
know you've been on a good date when you come home with your makeup
all smeared."
The third one sat quiet with a blank stare on her face and didn't
say a thing for a few minutes. Then she reached under her skirt,
removed her panties and threw them against the wall, where they
stuck with a loud <THWOP!> noise.
She said, "Now THAT'S a good date!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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