THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
A ship in the harbor is safe,
but that's not what ships are built for.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
By DAN ELLIOTT, Associated Press Writer Dan Elliott,
Associated Press Writer – 34 mins ago
FORT COLLINS, Colo. – A sheriff said he was pursuing
criminal charges in Colorado's "balloon boy" saga,
which first sparked fear for the child, then relief
that he was OK and now suspicions of a hoax.
Deputies searched the home of the boy's parents
Saturday night, carrying away several boxes and a computer.
The parents, Richard and Mayumi Heene, met with Larimer
County investigators for much of Saturday afternoon amid
lingering questions about whether he perpetrated a publicity
stunt when his 6-year-old son Falcon vanished into the
rafters of his garage while the world thought he was
zooming through the sky in a flying
saucer-like helium balloon.
It seems that the dad and mom of "the run away balloon
boy" are probably wishing they had not pulled this stunt.
If you are going to pull a hoax like they did, make sure
it is one you won't get in trouble for. The article says
that the parents face 3 possible felony charges, and the
possibility that they could be charged for the cost of the
search/rescue. One Black hawk helicopter and another military
plane were used and that could be a little costly.
Perhaps the boys father is going to discover that fame
has its price.
There is a video clip of the flight of the runaway flying
saucer balloon in the "lets go to the movies" section, in
case you missed the initial news coverage and would like
to see the flight.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________
THE COMICS
relax dude
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x001.html
omigod
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x002.html
that is not how its done
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x003.html
I really suck
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x004.html
that's why
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x005.html
chance
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x006.html
change your life today
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x007.html
an important question
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x008.html
goodbye
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x009.html
_______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
the flight of the runaway balloon
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8198.html
Japanese sniper prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8192.html
perverted camara man
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8193.html
ouch
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8194.html
baby and the train
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8195.html
sexy soccer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8196.html
the deepest bin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8197.html
One summer, the company that Morris worked for transferred him to
another city. Morris was told that he had to take a new physical
with the company doctor to continue to be employed.
All the tests came out fine, but the doctor remarked that Morris
had the smallest penis he'd ever seen. "Do you have any
difficulties with it being so small?" the doctor asked.
"Not at all" Morris said. "I've got a wife, three kids, and we
have a great sex life. But I must admit I do sometimes have a
problem finding it in the daytime."
"What about at night?" the doctor asked.
"Nights are no problem," Morris said, "because at night, there
are two of us looking for it!"
______________
After a few years of married life, this guy finds that he is
unable to perform anymore. He goes to see his doctor, and the
doctor tries a few things but nothing works.
Finally the doctor says to him "This is all in your mind," and
refers him to a psychiatrist.
After a few visits to the shrink, the shrink confesses, "I am at
a loss as to how you could possibly be cured." Finally, as a last
resort, the psychiatrist refers him to a witch doctor.
The witch doctor tells him, "I can cure this, no problem," and he
throws some powder on a flame. There is a bright flash with
billowing blue smoke.
The witch doctor says, "This is a very powerful healing but you
can only use it once a year! All you have to do is say '123' and
it shall rise for as long as you wish!"
"As long as I wish!" says the guy excitedly, so I can make love
to my wife multiple times?
"As many times as you desire" says the witch doctor" "When you
wish it to go down all you have to say is '1234' and it will go
down. But be warned, it will not work again for a year!"
The guy can hardly wait to get home and surprise his wife with
the good news....So, he is lying in bed with her and says "123",
and suddenly he gets an amazing erection.
His wife turns over and says . . ."What did you say 123 for?"
_______________
One day a young man was visiting the fair. Over to one
side was a small tent, with a sign that said "For 50
dollars I'll teach you to be a mind reader! - Apply within."
So the young man thought that he'd give it a go, and
went inside. Behind a small table inside was an old man,
who looked up when the young man entered and says, "Ah,
you must be here for the mind reading lessons."
"Er, yes," the young man said.
"Well, follow me, and I'll give you your first lesson."
Then the old man goes out the back of the tent and
come sack with a hose. "Here, hold this hose," he said.
"Why?" said the young man.
"It's part of the lesson," replies the old man, "Now,
look in the end and tell me what you see."
So the young man looks into the end of the hose, and
only sees darkness. "I don't see anything," he tells
the old man.Just then the old man turns on a tap, and
the hose shoots water into the young man's face.
"I just knew you'd do something like that."
the young man shouts at the old man.
"There. You are now a mind reader!" the old man replies,
"That'll be 50 dollars."
_____________
Mildred and Chester knew each other from childhood
but were in their Seventies when they got married.
They had to wait for Millard's mother to pass away
first. Back in those days there was no hanky panky
before marriage so Chester and Mildred were both still virgins.
Needless to say Chester was pretty excited on their
wedding night, having waited so patiently all these years.
However, Mildred was very apprehensive as she had developed
a heart condition and would have to tell Chester that
they could not do it.Chester is now sitting on the bed
wanting Mildred to hurry up. He detects a little
reluctance on her part. Thinking that she is shy he
sends her off to the bathroom to get undressed. When
she reappears in her silk satin nightie, he gets her to
sit next to him on the bed. Not knowing how to get
things started he pulls the first strap on her nightie.
She blushes just as red as her silk satin nightie.
She is really concerned about telling Chester about
her heart condition.
In the meantime Chester is looking at the first breast
he has seen since his own mother's. It is hanging there
down to her belly button: gravity having taken it's
course over some sixty years. He realizes her anxiety
but figures she is going have to be helped a little more.
Now he pulls the second strap and sees the second breast
unroll downward before him.
Poor Mildred is now beside herself. She is going to have
to tell Chester about her heart. With a quivering voice
and mustering up all her courage, she says, "Chester I
have acute angina."Chester says, "I sure hope so. Cuz
you've shore got ugly tits."
_________________
A rich business executive sees an ad in the Wall Street
Journal for the world's fastest and most expensive
car, the Tri-Turbo Convertible Fantasy. It costs
over $1 million.The mogul decides that he must have
it, and assigns half a dozen assistants to track the
car down for him. After months of searching, the car
is found, bought, and delivered. Eager to play with
his new toy, the executive takes it for a spin.
At the first stop light, an young man rides up next
to the Fantasy on an old Vespa. Without an invitation,
the young man sticks his head in the car and says,
"Quite a ride you got here - how fast will she go?"
"About 270," answers the executive.
"No way," says the young man.
Just then, the light turns green and the executive
decides to show the young man what the car can do. He
floors it, and within seconds the car is doing 270.
But suddenly, he notices in his rear view mirror a dot
that seems to be getting closer and closer,
so he comes to a stop.
Then, whooooooooooosh, something goes flying by.
"What the heck was that?" says the executive.
"What can go faster than my Fantasy?"
Suddenly, the same blur comes racing back toward him,
and whoooooosh, passes right by. This time the executive
got a better look and could have sworn it looked like
the young man on the Vespa.
"That just couldn't be," he says to himself.
Suddenly, he sees it again in his rear view mirror
and wham! It smashes into the back of the Fantasy.
The executive jumps from his car, and sure enough,
it's the young man on the Vespa that crashed into him.
"Are you okay?" asks the executive.
"Is there anything I can do for you?
"Yes," replied the young man, "unhook my suspenders
from your side view mirror, please."
______________
BUFFALO BILL
Italian Chewing Gum
http://www.buffaloschips.com/akloo.htm
Dead or Alive Holly Vance
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aghy.htm
James David Manning
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ahjik.htm
Jeff Dunham Achmed the Dead
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdes.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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