THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Just because you can reproduce,
does not mean you should
Out! Can be used on tough stains from food, oil,
perspiration, grease, grass, ink, dirt, red wine,
pets, even set in stains. Out! can be used on hundreds
of stains on clothing, carpeting, upholstery,
leather, vinyl, metal, hands, and more.
http://www.tinyurl.com/yjs4pml
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I got into a fender bender with the Crown Victoria the
other day. The body shop wanted to charge me a fortune
so I fixed it myself. "Do it yourself-ing" can save you
a lot of money sometimes.
Grand pa says its going to to be a long winter.
He can tell because out in the woods where he lives
the beavers have a lot of hair on them.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________
THE COMICS
being lazy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x010.html
ahead
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x011.html
how many, sir?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x012.html
roses are red
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x013.html
what for xmas?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x014.html
one day the war dept said to the postman:
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x015.html
an important question
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x016.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
can't stop laughing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8200.html
sometimes you forget
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8201.html
don't hold back, I'm pretty good
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8202.html
bloopers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8203.html
first time drunk driver in Singapore
(maybe we should be doing this?)
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8204.html
a serious problem
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8206.html
Three prisoners are captured in the war. They are
asked what they wish to have for their last meal.
The Italian asks for and receives Pepperoni Pizza.
The Frenchmen requests and receives a Filet Mignon.
The American requests a plate of strawberries.
The captors are surprised and reply, strawberries?
Yes, Strawberries.
But, they are out of season!
That's ok. I'll wait
__________
A young lad and his mother were walking down the
street one day when suddenly the boy yelled out
excitedly, "Mother, Mother, Look at that bowlegged man!"
His mother immediately hushed him explaining it was
not polite to make fun of bowlegged people.
The next day the same thing happened,
"Look mother, there's that bowlegged man!"
The mother grabbed the lad by the arm saying,
"When we get home you'll be punished for this outburst."
When they got home, she gave her son a work by Shakespeare,
"Go to you room and read this book. You can't come
out until you have finished it. Maybe you will
learn something from this punishment."
Two days later they are walking down the same
street when the boy again spots the person
he had been making fun of:
"Hark! What manner of men are these,
Who weareth their legs in parentheses?"
_______________
If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat
products banned for everyone.
If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks
about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully
and still look good.
If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
If a black man or Hispanic are conservative,
they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as
victims in need of government protection.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks
about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host,
he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes
about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets
up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans
like he's in labor and then sues.
If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his
friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".
_________
Once upon a time there was a guy walking along on
all fours. He comes to another man who he knows.
This mans says to the man on all fours, mate, what
the fuck are you doing crawling around on your knees?
The guy on his knees looks up at him and says,
"I'm a turtle, I'm a turtle". The guy looks at
him and goes , "ahhh yeah righto" and off he went.
Next day comes and the same thing happens. The
guy asks him again, "Mate, what the HELL are you
doing crawling around like that?", "I'm a turtle,
I'm a turtle". The guy goes, "mate, you've lost
your fucken mind, cya later". Third day comes.
Same thing again. "Mate, what are you doing? ",
"I'm a turtle, I'm a turtle". The guy looks at
him and goes, "That's it, it's official, you're
totally off your head, crazy, stupid" and off he goes.
Fourth day, the guy comes around the corner on all
fours again, this time he's got a girl on his back.
The man says to him, "I thought you'd lost your
mind before, but this one really takes the cake.
What the FUCK are you doing now?" The guy says
to him, "I'm a turtle, I'm a turtle". The other
guy goes to him "But yeah, what's that on your back?"
The guy looks up at him and say, "Oh, that's MICHELLE!".
____________
After several disastrous attempts to synchronize his
own and his wife's libido with the delayed-action
effects of Viagra, Tom the Bus Driver was delighted
to hear about a new product called Now!-Agra. Each
pill came with strict instructions; 'To be taken
only immediately before sex'. So Tom phoned his wife
- who was equally hungry for some satisfactory action
- and arranged to be home by six that evening. Whilst
he was finishing his day's work she had a long soak
in luxurious bubble bath, listened to her favo-
rite records, and was truly relaxed and ready when
the clock struck six. When he wasn't home by eight
she was really peed off, and by nine she was
beginning to worry...Tom came home sheepishly at ten,
looking absolutely shattered."What happened?"
"Well, I got back to the depot on time and the
Inspector asked me to park the bus at the back of
the garage. I thought a few minutes wouldn't make any
difference so I said yes. Then I took out the pill,
and somehow, after all our other problems, I thought
I ought to give it time to 'kick in'. So I took it there and then..."
"And..."
"And I've only just managed to get out
from under the steering wheel..."
BUFFALO Bill
Anillocompromiso
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fjhgkhl.htm
Arab
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gtuhiuuh.htm
Baby Boomers Battle
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gtdfhgujghjh.htm
Beer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhvgjdkfghdkfg.htm
____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Close Thing
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000356.html
Clown and Horses Ass
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000357.html
Coca Cola Party
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000358.html
________________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Frogs in Love
http://tinyurl.com/kvary5
Most Horrific Crash Ever
http://tinyurl.com/oyp2no
Hula Hoop Baby
http://tinyurl.com/lhvhcj
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
No comments:
Post a Comment