Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Current Forecast
At 4 PM...mostly cloudy. Temperature around 53. Northwest winds
around 12 mph. Wind chill around 120 below. I figure the 120 below
has got to be a mistake but I am not going outside to find out. I
could end up frozen like one of those wooly mammoths in a glacier
waiting for the next big thaw. I got a notice the other day that I
had been given a home heating credit for 50 bucks. This was in
addition to the 75.00 one I received when I filed my state taxes. I
spent 2300 dollars on gas
last year, so that credit is just a drop in the bucket. They also
raised my monthly payment to 236.00 so they must plan on it being a
cold winter. I really wish we could hibernate like the bears. Go pig
out for a week at McDonalds and then curl up in the corner for 5
months. No worrying
about heat, shoveling driveways, or trying to drive on glare ice,
just loud snoring.
Enjoy the chips and stay warm...... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parrot Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
So there's this man with a parrot.
And his parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's
a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight
without repeating himself.
The trouble is that the guy who owns the parrot
is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul
mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs
the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and
yells, "QUIT IT!"
But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more
than ever.
Then the guy gets mad and says, "That's it. I'll fix you!"
and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet.
This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches,
and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose
with a stream of invectives that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At
that point, the guy is so angry, that he throws the bird into the
freezer.
For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din.
The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly
goes very quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the
bird
may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried
that
he opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm
and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I have given you. I'll do
my
best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
The man is astounded. He can't understand the
transformation that has come over the parrot.
Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
the pants
http://www.thepostm
swine flu
http://www.thepostm
at the nursing home
http://www.thepostm
Diet Place
http://www.sydesjok
Dieting
http://www.sydesjok
Diets Work
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Radio Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A CORK radio station was running a competition - words that weren't
in
the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make
logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.
DJ: "96 FM here, what's your name?"
Caller: "Hi, me name's Dave."
DJ: "Dave, what's your word?"
Caller: "Goan... spelt G-O-A-N pronounced 'go-an'."
DJ: "You are correct, Dave, 'goan' is not in the dictionary. Now,
for a
trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make
sense?"
Caller: "Goan fuck yourself!"
The DJ cut the caller off and took other calls, all unsuccessful
until:
DJ: "96 FM, what's your name?"
Caller: "Hi, me name's Jeff."
DJ: "Jeff, what's your word?"
Caller: "Smee, spelt S-M-E-E, pronounced 'smee'."
DJ: "You are correct, Jeff, 'smee' is not in the dictionary. Now,
for a
trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make
sense?"
Caller: "Smee again! Goan fuck yourself!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quarter Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bobby Ray and Susie Jane were fooling around out in the cornfield
when
Bobby Ray said, "Oh Susie Jane, I am getting so horny, you just have
to
let me have some." Susie Jane said, "Well, maybe I will, but it is
going
to cost you a quarter." Bobby Ray dug down in his pocket and said,
"Susie Jane, I only got ten cents, and you just have to let me do it
for
ten cents." Susie Jane said, "Ain't no way I am goin to do it for no
ten
cents, I said a quarter."
Bobby Ray said, "I tell you what Susie Jane, how about you just give
me
ten cents worth?" Susie Jane said, "You must think I be crazy, cause
you
know you won't stop when I say you got ten cents worth.
Bobby Ray said, "Oh Susie Jane, I promise, I promise I will stop
when
you say I got ten cents worth." So they get down between two rows of
corn and start going at it. After about a minute, Susie Jane said,
"Bobby Ray, BOBBY RAY" and he said, "Oh Susie Jane, now don't tell
me I
have got ten cents worth already", and she said, "Bobby Ray, do you
see
that big cornstalk over there on your left side? And Bobby Ray said,
"Uhuh." And she said, "Bobby Ray, do you see that big cornstalk over
there on your right side?" Bobby Ray said, "Uhuh."
Susie May said, "BOBBY RAY, you better grab ahold of those two big
cornstalks, cause I'm a fixin to loan you fifteen cents".
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clothed Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Things Not To Do In The Nude"
Fry bacon.
Do some arc-welding.
Bathe a cat.
Start a gas-powered snow blower.
Clear a patch of poison ivy.
Insulate the attic with fiberglass.
Operate a lathe.
Present a children's television show.
Take Mass with the Pope.
Pick up a dime from a San Francisco sidewalk.
Gilbert
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cyber Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An anonymous girl, let's call her Jen, is a junior in college
attending
school in Colorado. Like all college students, she is wrapped up in
the
partying and the wildness college life has to offer. Jen, being the
computer science major that she is, does, however, have a lot of
work to
do
on her computer so when she's not out having a good time, she's
working
her
butt off designing computer programs and installing software.
One day, soon after she had broken up with her boyfriend, she was
home
alone on a Friday night for the first time in the three years they
had
been
dating. She was sad, alone, and depressed, so she decided to make a
new
homepage. She was playing on the net when she decided to get onto a
chat
line. Being the wild psycho she is, she decided to get onto a sex
line.
So,
then Jen got onto a sex chat line and started playing around on it.
Over
the line, she met a guy who identified himself as Jeremy. She
started
playing with him, gave a false name, saying her name was "Katie,"
and
started getting into detail about what she would like to do to him
with
her
tongue. He responded by telling her to picture being naked while his
hands
ran over every square inch of her body. Soon they were having
cybersex.
This went on for awhile, and then she got off the line agreeing to
meet
him
back on the line the following night. Saturday night rolls around,
and
Jen
is on the line with jeremy again, they become even closer this
night, so
they continue like this for a week. At the end of the week, they
started
talking about other things, and got into very intimate issues and
feelings.
They became close, exchanging their lives, jen didnt' tell Jeremy
she
was in
college, because she was afraid of sounding like an immature college
girl.
She felt guilty, but after a few weeks, she really liked this guy.
This
went on the two of them like this for months, and months turned into
a
year.
By the end of the year they had exchanged the most intimate
thoughts,
and
yet had never even spoken on the phone. They were afraid of ruining
the
mystery. They had done everything sexually possible over the net,
they
were
affectionate as well, waiting for the day that they could some day
be
together. They finally decided they had had enough. They wanted to
meet
each other, they were in love and they had to meet. They didn't care
about
age or looks or anything but each other. Jeremy told Jen he thought
she
could be his next wife. Jen was wary at first but decided she didn't
care
how old he was or how ugly, she loved him, he was the only one she
could
feel comfortable with. so...they planned a trip to meet in Vale,
Colorado.
They were going to spend the weekend together and finally meet. Jen
didn't
want the hassle of having to find him, so she said, "Why don't you
just
get
the room and we'll meet in the room. That way there will
be no mistake." Jeremy agreed. Jen showed up at the resort first,
and
checked into the room telling the desk lady to hold the key for the
next
party. So she went into the room. She wanted things to be special so
she
lit some candles, and put on some music. She stripped naked and
climbed
into
the bed under the covers, deciding to surprise Jeremy when he got
there.
The
time soon came the lights were out, the mood was right, and she
heard a
key
in the door, she heard someone walk in and around the corner, and
she
whispered, "Jeremy", Jeremy said, "Katie?" (this was the false name
she
had
given him.) "Yes," she said, so he fumbled for the light, and turned
it
on
to see Jen on the bed naked before him. Then next thing heard around
the
world were two blood curling screams. Jen covered herself up, and
with
her
most humiliated voice said, "Dad?" and Jeremy said, "JEN!!!"
Think of what you would do in this situation.. and, now realize this
really
did happen. Their lives will never be the same.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mafia Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mafia Valentine's Day Greetings
My love for you...
it came and went.
So your feet are now
in wet cement.
I'm here to fulfill
your fondest wishes
Now that your husband
sleeps with the fishes.
Lie down with me
It's my final offa,
Or you'll be lying
wit' Jimmy Hoffa.
I picked up this card
from a slim selection,
But that's all they offer
in witness protection.
Love, J. Doe
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/To Have And To Hold
http://silverandgol
carolyn w/ I Miss You ~ Elvis Presley
http://carolynsprec
Carolyn with / Dreams
http://carolynsprec
Mother's Gift..
http://www.poetryin
*+*+*+*+*+*+
If anyone is interested in GETTING A HALLOWEEN COSTUME online I sell
for every ad on my site there's a bunch of costume stores I sell for
( I GET A LITTLE KICK BACK FROM THE SALES IT HELPS )we just put up a
whole bunch of links thanks from the help of my daughter for doing
the typing and work to get my site back up I couldn't use my right
hand now for a couple of months already .I just got a cast on my arm
yesterday so I'm typing with my left finger (SLOWLY) and that's
taking forever lol but I'm on here .Thankfully I have her to do the
fast stuff for me . Also there's a party in Tinley that Rosina is
having on Halloween email me and let me know if you would like to go
with us it's on Halloween at 8 pm.INFO BELOW
http://www.ghostsan
http://www.ghostsan
MELISSA
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Spook Spotters
http://spookspotter
Hallow Freaks
http://www.hallowfr
Flustar
http://www.flustar.
Break
http://www.break.
Health Test
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Bootdisk.Com
http://www.bootdisk
Halloween Midis
http://d21c.
Music Loops
http://www.partners
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual?
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.canine-
Kitty Korner
http://www.livingea
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Movies
Kangaroo
http://www.buffalos
Pancakes
http://www.buffalos
Paris speaks out
http://www.buffalos
Peeping Tom
http://www.buffalos
Peyton
http://www.buffalos
Parking 2
http://www.buffalos
Parking3
http://www.buffalos
Peeling
http://www.buffalos
Pigeon
http://www.buffalos
Ping Pong
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Faux Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Manners Maketh Man?
In the north of England lived a man, poorly
educated, who made a large fortune by selling his
design for a bicycle chain. With this money he set
about realising his childhood ambition to become a
country squire. He purchased a beautiful estate near
the Scottish border, and proceeded, with the help of
some excellent servants, to live in a manner none in
his family had ever dreamed of.
Foremost of these servants was his butler,
Jeeves, a well educated man who assisted his master in
every way he could to better himself. The master would
often ask Jeeves for advice on how to handle a social situation, or
to
explain a new term.
One day when the master was reading he called Jeeves
in and asked, "Jeeves, what is this fox pass?"
"Sir," replied Jeeves, "that would be 'faux pas.'
I'll give you an example. Do you remember recently
when Lord and Lady Plushbottom stayed for the weekend?
And do you remember how on Sunday morning Lord
Plushbottom pricked his finger on a rose?
"And do you further remember how later, at
breakfast, Lady Plushbottom asked her husband 'Is your
prick still throbbing dear?' and you said 'Christ!' and
I dropped the marmalade?
"That, Sir, was a faux pas."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cinderella
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Cinderella2
http://www.buffalos
city transit
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civil wall paper
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clap
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friday Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm Joe Friday, private eye. I work on Tuesday, Tuesday's my
secretary.
Yesterday I was working in my New York office when there was a knock
at the door, scared me half out of my secretary.
Then a tall blonde walked by, I knew she was tall 'cause we were on
the 7th floor.
The phone rang. It was a client. I knew something was wrong because
she told me there was.
I raced down the stairs, called a taxi, the taxi stopped with a
jerk,
the jerk got out and I got in. (continued)
We took the corner at 80 miles an hour. A cop stopped us and told us
to put it back.
Then we were driving on the sidewalk because there was a sign that
said "keep deaths off the roads".
We were getting further out of the city. I knew this because we
weren't hitting so many pedestrians.
When I got to my client's house she greeted me with a burning kiss.
Then she took her cigarette out and kissed me again.
There was a man on the floor. He had bullet wounds to the head and
stab wounds to the heart. He was dead so we went for a drive in the
country.
Then a brick came through the window, hit her on the left breast and
broke four of my fingers.
We got a flat tire. She pumped and I pumped, she pumped and I
pumped.
Then we got out and fixed the tire.
When we got back to my clients house she invited me in for a root
beer. The root was nice but the beer was flat.
I was giving her a goodnight kiss but she closed her legs and broke
my glasses.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What's worse than a cardboard box?
A: Paper tits!
Q: How is a pussy like a grapefruit?
A: The best ones squirt when you eat them.
Q: How do you tell if a chick's too fat to fuck?
A: When you pull her pants down and her ass is still in them.
Q: What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!
Q: Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
A: When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.
Q: Why is it so hard for women to take a piss in the morning?
A: Did you ever try to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich?
Q: What do you call 25 lesbians stacked on top of each other?
A: A block of flaps
Q: What do rednecks do for Halloween?
A: Pump kin.
Q: What is 60 foot long and stinks of piss?
A: A conga in an old people's home!
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
A: God doesn't think he's a lawyer
Q: What's the difference between toilet paper and toast?
A: Toast is brown on both sides.
Q: Did you hear about the Polish porno flick?
A: It's called: " Debbie does nothing. "
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: How do you hunt bear?
A: With your clothes off.
A man walks into a dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me,
can you help me. I think I'm a moth."
Dentist: "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist.
Man: "Yes, I know."
Dentist: "So why did you come in here?"
Man: "The light was on..."
Q: What's the first thing a woman should do when she gets out of the
battered womens' shelter?
A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.
Mrs. Jones went to see her doctor. When he inquired about her
complaint she replied that she suffered from a discharge. He
instructed her to get undressed and lie down on the examining table.
She did so. The doctor put on rubber gloves and began to massage her
pussy. After a couple of minutes he asked, "How does that
feel?" "Wonderful," she replied, "but the discharge is from my ear."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1697
The Cold Front Re-visited
The dogs are outside..
Rudy: Hey guys ain't this fun?
Sandi: It's okay. Let's stay a few then back to bed okay?
Katie: I am freezing. I don't have the fur you guys have. I wanna
go back in and get under the covers where I was before you woke me
up.
Rudy: Aw come on Katie, let's play, the moon is out, the air is
fresh.
Katie: I am going to die.
Rudy: Come on let's chase a lightening bug.
Katie: They all froze to death.
Sandi: Come on Katie let's humor him. To the lake and back.
Rudy: Yeah, let's go for a swim!
Sandi: Ah, no. That's crazy.
In the house...the dogs went out at 1:30 am.
2:30 am
Ding dong! Pound pound pound!
Bj: Grumble, dern mutts. I am coming.
Ding Dong!!!!
Katie is standing at the door shivering with Sandi right behind her.
Rudy comes in complaining: Wooses, big babies, can't stand a little
chill.
Katie zooms to the bed and barks loudly for dad to let her under the
covers.
Sandi snuggles up to dad.
Rudy lays on the floor thinking about the woodelves and the
wonderful cool air...
Fall has arrived.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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