Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I still haven't replaced the rear window in the Jimmy yet and
it is wide open. I have refrained from doing anything as an
emergency repair because all too often I will leave it like
that forever and the Jimmy does deserve a new rear window
the minute I can find 285.00 to pay for it. The Suburban is
fitted with heaters and fans fore and aft and it actually gets
quite toasty within a mile.
Took daughter and Eva for a ride and Buffy started in on me
for not putting plastic over the window because Eva would
get pneumonia even though she was dressed in below zero
gear. When I stopped at the market on the way back Buffy
went to get Eva out of her car seat and Eva had opened her
window wide open. Buffy doesn't understand that Eva has
become a full blooded Yooper. We wear T-shirts anywhere
above 40 degrees and play freeze out with no jackets and
every window in the car wide open at below zero.
Michigan State lost to undefeated Iowa last night in the last two
seconds of the game. It was still the best game I have watched
this season. There were two touchdowns in the last 90 seconds of
play after defense on both teams had held each other to field
goals. I think I left grip marks on the arms of my chair.. I wish
MSU would send their quarterback and running back to the Lions
we might even win 2 games this season.
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Use the Power of the Sun to Recharge your Portable Devices!
The JuiceBar Solar multi device solar charger is a must have gadget
if you have a PDA, iPod, smart phone or any other mobile
device.</br>
Don't get caught with no juice in your battery any more! Recharge
ANYTIME and ANYWHERE!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marine Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hello may I speak to the Commanding Officer of Fleet Marine
Amphibious Group Six."
"Speaking, how may I help you sir."
"Yea, well good morning. I'm Sheriff Johnny Griffin of Duncan County
Georgia. I'm calling about an unfortunate incident that happened
here
this weekend between four of my off-duty deputies and your Gunnery
Sergeant John Anthony Taylor."
"Yes sheriff I am familiar with the incident, how can I help you?"
"Well first I'd lak ta pologize fer four of ma men jumpin on the
Gunny lak that. In all fairness they shouldn't have attackted him
lak
they did, but in their defense ah hafta say they had been adrinkin.
Anyway that ain't no excuse. They shouldn't of jumped him lak they
did. Also ah wants ya to know that we all have a great deal of
respect fer the military and had they known he was a Marine, they
probably wouldn't jumped him lak they did. See he was eyeballin
Paula
the bartender and they didn't take too kindly to it. They saw his
Eagle and glove Marine emblem on his t-shirt and they just kinda
tore
into him. Anyways I really regret that it happened."
"I'm sure you do sherriff."
"Well ah just called to pass on the good news to you and hope that
you'll pass it on to Gunnery Sargeant Tarylor. The good news is that
all four of my deputies....
Jones will have a permanent limp but the doctor says he will
eventually walk again.
Wilcox can talk again since they installed the larynx box and they
hope to be able to pull Markam's nose out of his skull later this
week.
They successfully removed the size 13 spit-shined shoe out of
Harris'
ass this morning and the doc says within two weeks he'll be able to
sit again. By the way I will be amailing that shoe back to ya."
"I'm glad that they're all recovering so nicely sheriff."
"Yea me too. Me too. Oh could I ask you a favor?"
"Sure sheriff, what is it?"
"Please don't let anymore of your Marines into Paula's beer joint.
I'm down to me and one deputy."
"I'll put if off limits right away sheriff."
"Gunnery Sargeant I just received a report that you were involved in
an "altercation" with four civilians at Paula's Bar in Duncan
Georgia
this past Saturday."
"Yes sir, that's correct sir."
"Well along with the report came these pictures, can you explain
them
to me."
"Well yes sir, I was sitting drinking my beer talking to the female
bartender when these four guys yelled and charged at me."
"Well would you be kind enough to explain what happened next?"
"Well sir an "altercation" broke out."
"Well Gunny lets start with the first picture here, its marked Mr.
Jones."
"Well sir, he was the first one to come at me, I grabbed him and
tried to hold him as he repeatedly attacked my fist with his face."
"I see, and how did he break his leg?"
"Apparently it was when he flew out the second floor window sir."
"What about photo number two Mr. Duncan it says."
"Sir it appeared to me that Mr. Duncan had severe intestinal gas.
Anyway a vacuum formed in his intestines which caused my foot to
rise
with unusual force and lodge itself in his ass , plugging the vacuum
that was emanating from his rectum. He too departed by the same
window."
"I see and Mr. Wilcox here."
"Unfortunately Mr. Wilcox swung at me and missed but unfortunately
his forward momentum caused him to trip and the poor fellow fell
into
my palm and struck it with the brunt of his neck."
"Ok and Mr. Markum here?"
"Mr. Markum's nose charged my elbow sir."
"Did he manage to successfully engage your elbow with his nose."
"He did sir."
"And how long did this entire incident take Gunny?"
"I would estimate 20 to 30 seconds sir."
"And what did you do when it was over?"
" I finished my beer and continued talking to the bartender sir."
"Thank you Gunnery Sargeant, that will be all."
( They fail to mention though the Gunny was an ex-Navy Seal)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Dog Pee Tree
http://www.sydesjok
Dog Sculptures
http://www.sydesjok
Dog Toilet
http://www.sydesjok
four tablets
http://www.thepostm
the prostitute comes home from work
http://www.thepostm
how long
http://www.thepostm
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
You should never kiss a canary. You might get canarial disease or
you
might get chirpes and there is no tweetment.
Murphy came home plastered for the third night in a row. His wife
dragged him to the window, pointing to the blazing lights of the big
distillery in the distance. "See how big it is?" she said. "They can
always make it faster than you can drink it." "Maybe so," said
Murphy,
"But I've got 'em working nights!"
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. A man of 35 thinks of
dating
children.
Labels: Harmful if swallowed -- on a three-pronged brass fishing
lure.
My daughter brought a new boyfriend around. I was a bit worried as
he
was a nerdy type, glasses held to gether with tape, pocket full of
pens etc. He also appeared to be wearing shoes designed to make him
look taller. I had to advise her: "Beware of geeks wearing lifts"
A round on the house left the customers in good spirits.
Headline: BLIND BISHOP APPOINTED TO SEE
Stan kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
GIVE YOUR KIDS HOURS OF CREATIVE FUN! WITH 3-D STICKER ART!
Now your kids can make their own sticker art with Fun Foil Art.
Hours and hours of creative fun. Order now and we'll double your
offer.
113 3-D stickers
2 Adhesive Sheets
6 Mini-Poster Sheets
30 Pieces of Colored Foil
2 Stencils
1 Free Fun Art Pen
1 Instruction Sheet
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mary Louise Gilman, the venerable editor of the National Shorthand
Reporter has collected many of the more hilarious courtroom bloopers
in two books - Humor in the Court (1977) and More Humor in the
Court, published a few months ago. From Mrs. Gilman's two volumes,
here are some of my favorite transcripts, all recorded by America's
keepers of the word:
Q. What is your brother-in-law'
A. Borofkin.
Q. What's his first name?
A. I can't remember.
Q. He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember
his first name? A. No. I tell you I'm too excited. (Rising from the
witness chair and pointing to Mr. Borofkin.) Nathan, for God's sake,
tell them your first name!
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?
A. No.
Q. Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated? A. By
death. Q. And by whose death was it terminated?
Q. Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
A. No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.
Q. What is your name?
A. Ernestine McDowell.
Q. And what is your marital status?
A. Fair.
Q: Do you drink when you're on duty?
A: I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.
Q: ...any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder
trial instead of an attempted murder trial?
A: The victim lived.
Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
A: Yes, I have been since early childhood.
Q: The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased,
objective witness, isn't it. You too were shot in the fracas?
A: No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval.
Q: What is the meaning of sperm being present?
A: It indicates intercourse.
Q: Male sperm?
A. That is the only kind I know.
Q: (Showing man picture.) That's you?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: And you were present when the picture was taken, right?
Q: Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
We'll double your calendar order for FREE!
* Photo Wall Calendar
* Photo Desk Calendar
* Photo Poster Calendar
* Large Calendar Magnet
* Wallet Calendar
These products are perfect for gifts for customers, friends &
family!
* Add your logo or favorite photos FREE
* Add special date reminders FREE!
Get ahead of your holiday To-Do list and Order Now!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr. Jones completed his examination of the teenage girl and took her
mother aside. "I'm afraid," he said, "that your daughter has
syphilis." "Oh, my!" exclaimed the embarrassed woman. "Tell me,
could
she possibly have caught it in a public lavatory?" After giving it a
little thought, Dr. Jones responded, "It's possible," then he added
"but it would certainly have been uncomfortable.
Men are like..... Used Cars. Both are easy-to-get, cheap, and
unreliable.
"Larry and Karen are getting a divorce." "You're kidding! I thought
they had so much in common." "Actually, that's the problem. They
both
like pussy."
A gay couple is driving along one afternoon, and while stopped at a
stop sign, they are rear ended by a big semi. Furiously, the guy in
the passenger side throws his purse on the seat, gets out of the
car,
goes back to the truck and starts banging on the door. The truck
driver opens the door and the gay guy standing there with his hands
on
his hips says, "I'm gonna sue your ass, Buddy!" The truck driver
laughs and says, "Blow me!" The gay guy stands there for a second,
then his eyes get really big and his face lights up. He runs back to
the car and says excitedly to his lover, "You won't believe this! He
wants to settle out of court!"
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nielsen Digital Voice is giving away $10,000 every month!
By becoming a member of Nielsen Digital Voice, your home will
represent thousands of Internet users throughout the
United States.
All Nielsen Digital Voice panel members take part in their $10,000
Monthly Sweepstakes Program! Remain an active panelist and you will
receive weekly entries into this monthly sweepstakes.
Each month's top prize is two $1,000 winners. To learn more about
the Nielsen Digital Voice Rewards, please
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bra Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Mom, can I ask you something?"
"Sure! What about?" replied mother.
"Well, I'm already fourteen and.. I think it's just proper that I
should
own one."
"Own 'one' what?" mother asked suspiciously.
"Could you buy me a push up bra?"
"No."
"But my nipples are already prominent and it catches attention."
"Nope."
"I think it would be just proper at my age..."
"I said no way...!"
"But all of my friends wear.......!
Morris! How many times must I tell you that bras are for girls!?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Derek Jeter Half Dollar
In 2009, Derek Jeter made baseball history and we're honoring him on
this brilliant, uncirculated, genuine US Half Dollar. Layered in
pure 24K gold, this coin is a great gift for any baseball fan. This
limited edition coin is officially licensed and comes with a
certificate of authenticity.
Own your piece of baseball history today.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fairy Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A king, who had three daughters for marriage, made the statement
that
any
prince in the kingdom who could pass certain tests could marry his
choice of
the three. One of the daughters was a blonde, one a brunette, and
one a
redhead.
All the princes in the kingdom tried to pass the tests and failed.
One day Prince Charming came up on his white charger and said to the
king,
"I understand you have three daughters for marriage." And the king
said,
"Yes, if you pass certain tests." So the king explained the tests to
him
and
Prince Charming went forth into the world.
A year later, he came back and told the king of all the dragons he
had
slain, of all the fair maidens he had rescued, and of all the
battles
had
fought. The king said, "Son, you may have your choice of my
daughters
for
marriage. Which do you choose?"
Which do you think was his choice?
He chose the king because this really is a fairy tale.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Turbo Snake is the fastest and easiest way to unclog any drain in
your bathroom guaranteed.
Simply glide the Turbo Snake down the drain, give it a twirl, and
the specially designed hooks grab onto the hair and gunk to remove
the clog with ease. Works on slow or clogged drains. The Large Turbo
Snake for showers and tubs has a bigger hair grabbing pad and the
Small Turbo Snake has a smaller head for sinks.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Theres No Place Like It
http://silverandgol
Wolverton Mountain
http://home.
Can't Take It Anymore
http://www.carolspo
The Last Day
http://www.Shangral
Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
http://ministry-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Welcome to MercuryPickup.
http://www.mercuryp
True Ghost Stories and Paranormal Articles Via Sandie
http://www.trueghos
New England Fall Foliage Pictures Via juanita
http://www.terragal
e
All about wood stoves
http://www.woodheat
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, I wanted to let you know that I'm giving the whole damn thing
away today, and this is REALLY the LAST day that I'll be doing this!
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away today for the last
time....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
TurkeyIfic Graphics
http://members.
Tandem Tables
http://tandemtables
Snowfall Script
http://www.rewritab
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.joe-
Kitty Korner
http://www.plasma20
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual?
Did you know that many people who are married or in a serious
relationship secretly download software applications that allow them
to monitor and see everything that their spouse or lover does on the
Internet.
Do you think that someone has done this to you? You can remove these
programs from your PC or laptop with a program called Spyware Nuker.
This program also removes any spyware or adware located on your PC
or laptop.
Right now you can scan your PC or laptop for no cost to see if there
are any "spying" programs on them.
Press Here to Begin Scan (YOU WILL NOT BE CHARGED FOR THIS):
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual?
Did you know that many people who are married or in a serious
relationship secretly download software applications that allow them
to monitor and see everything that their spouse or lover does on the
Internet.
Do you think that someone has done this to you? You can remove these
programs from your PC or laptop with a program called Spyware Nuker.
This program also removes any spyware or adware located on your PC
or laptop.
Right now you can scan your PC or laptop for no cost to see if there
are any "spying" programs on them.
Press Here to Begin Scan (YOU WILL NOT BE CHARGED FOR THIS):
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Ouch!!
http://www.buffalos
Recession
http://www.buffalos
Red State Update
http://www.buffalos
Singing Monkey
http://www.buffalos
Uncontrollable Sexual Urges
http://www.buffalos
What
http://www.buffalos
Canard
http://www.buffalos
Candid Camera Russian Style
http://www.buffalos
Carrier Landing
http://www.buffalos
Cat
http://www.buffalos
Cat Bird
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
When you cross a telephone pole with a rooster, you get a 20 foot
cock
that wants to reach out and touch somebody.
The young hooker reports for her first day at the brothel. The madam
says to her, "Do you have any questions?" The hooker replies, "Yes,
I
was wondering how long penises should be sucked?" The madam says,
"The
same amount of time as the short ones."
Men are like toilets, either vacant, engaged or full of crap
Two old guys were sitting in the park, talking, when the subject
turned to getting older. The first guy said, "Women have all the
luck
when it comes to getting older." "What do you mean?" asked the
second
guy. "Well," replied the first. "I can barely remember the last time
I
was able to get it up in bed, but my wife - she's healthier than
ever!" "Healthier? How is that?" his buddy wondered. "Years ago,
when
we were younger, almost every night before bed she'd get these
terrible headaches." He answered. "Now that we're older, she hasn't
had a headache in years."
What does a vagina and a tin roof have in common ? If you don't nail
them enough they will end up at the neighbors
Stan kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everyone loves the original Snuggie... the blanket with sleeves! Now
you can get the new Snuggie Designer Series in fashion prints -
zebra, camel and leopard. Stay totally warm while keeping your
hands free to work the remote, use your laptop or read!
* Super Soft, Luxurious Fleece
* Extra Roomy Sleeves
* One Size Fits All
* Machine Washable
* Makes a Great, Stylish Throw
Buy 1 Designer Snuggie and Get a 2nd one FREE, plus Bonus LED Book
Lights!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Faking It
http://www.buffalos
Tin Can Phone
http://www.buffalos
Crowded Beach
http://www.buffalos
Doggie Kisses
http://www.buffalos
Going To Sleep
http://www.buffalos
It Fits
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Out Paste - Instant Stain Remover - As Seen On TV!
Frustrated with stains! Instant Stain Remover You Can Use
Everywhere! Stop living with unsightly stains & throwing clothes
out. Out Paste will SAVE YOU MONEY!
Out! Can be used on tough stains from food, oil, perspiration,
grease, grass, ink, dirt, red wine, pets, even set in stains. Out!
can be used on hundreds of stains on clothing, carpeting,
upholstery, leather, vinyl, metal, hands, and more.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Let's try it this new way," said Jack
As he winked at the girl in the sack.
She turned and she grunted,
"I should be affronted,
But this time I'm taken aback!"
____________
Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep
she thinks they went to Buckingham
but when they were found
they were all gagged and bound
and Little Boy Blue was phucking'em
____________
My dental hygienist, Faye Ray,
Said, "Travis, eat pussy each day;
Your gums will be stronger,
Your teeth will last longer,
Coz pussy prevents tooth decay!"
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Original Dreamie
Now enjoy the comfort of your own bed wherever you go. Dreamie is a
top sheet, bottom sheet and pillow all in one. You'll have silky
soft, comfortable and clean sheets wherever you lounge. Use it for
house guests, sleepovers, traveling and more. Now available in three
great colors - natural ivory, rich espresso and ruby red.
Order now and we'll give you a second one at no charge.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Stoner was cruising along in a brand new Cadillac convertible. His
friends stopped him and asked how in the world had got hold of such
a
good car.
He explained, "I was sitting on the curb minding my own business,
when a
beautiful girl pulls up in this car that you see and asks, 'Want a
ride?'
So I got in. We rode far out into the country, and she stopped the
car.
We both got out.
'Kiss me' she said.
So I kissed her. Then she disrobed, and stood there in all her
feminine
beauty, dressed only in her panties. Holding her arms out towards me
she
said, 'You can have anything I've got.'
Well I could see that her panties would never fit me and so I took
the
car."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sure Clip
Sure Clip is the world's most advanced nail clipper. The wide,
rubberized non-slip comfort grip gives you complete control. The
professional quality steel blades give a clean, precise cut every
time. With an extra wide opening, Sure Clip even cuts thick, hard
nails. There's even a built in diamond-edge steel file, to smooth
edges or for quick touch ups. No more flying clips, no more bending
to clean up, no more squinting or struggling to see what you are
cutting. Order now and we'll give you a second one just pay separate
S&H.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
True Love...
It was the happiest day of my life.
Arrived at the church, husband waiting at the altar,
Walked up the aisle, kissed him on the cheek, smiled......
And closed the fucking lid
Richard
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Kangaroo Keeper
Instantly organize any bag with the Kangaroo Keeper. Coming in
different sizes and colors, coordinate it with any style. Be able
to access up to 70 items in seconds with various compartments. Never
call your bag a bottomless pit again. Get organized with the
Kangaroo Keeper. Purchase one Kangaroo Keeper and receive another
for just the cost of shipping and handling
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1709
Triple Snugglebug
BJ goes to bed and sees three dogs glaring at him.
BJ: What's the deal?
Sandi: We are ready to snugglebug.
BJ: Problem. I have only two sides and there are three of you.
Rudy: We will figure it out.
BJ gets into bed... in the middle of the kingsize bed and crunch...
Sandi on the left, Katie on the right.
BJ: Remember I have to get air now and then.
Rudy: Sure thing Pops, here I come!
BJ: Offf! Not on top of me!
Rudy: It's the only spot left.
BJ: Hew-yah! I cannot breathe Rudy....
Rudy: Kate you climb on top, you weigh only 1/3rd of what I do.
Katie: Okay.
BJ: Oh, much better, but still....
Sandi: You invented the snugglebug daddy...
BJ: Yeah, but starting tonight we have a new rule.
Rudy: What's that?
BJ: Only one snugglebug per night! You guys are going to break one
of my ribs.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1456 - Release Date:
5/20/2008 6:45 AM
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
No comments:
Post a Comment