Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
It really is a shame to let all of that pumpkin go to waste as a
Jack O Lantern. After a few nights setting on the porch it is
covered with mold and soot and not much use for anything. Consider
instead painting your pumpkin with non toxic paint and preparing it
for freezing after Halloween or even eating it as you would squash
or perhaps a pumpkin soup. Who wants to spend 5 dollars for a
pumpkin and then have the garbage man man charge to haul it away. If
you have to carve the pumpkin do it on Halloween and use a battery
light instead of a candle.
Seasonal Advice
To Clean a Pumpkin for Cooking
First, scrub the outside of the pumpkin with a vegetable brush. Cut
the pumpkin in half and use a spoon to scrape out the fibers and the
seeds. A serrated grapefruit spoon works great for this. Cut the
pumpkin halves into smaller pieces, then place them skin side up in
a shallow baking dish. Add water to just cover the bottom of the
dish, and cover tightly. Bake in a 325 degrees F oven until the
pumpkin is fork tender. The time will vary depending on the size of
your pieces. Let it cool, and then either cut off the peel or scoop
out the flesh.
Pumpkin Spice Mix Recipe
Mix the following in a jar:
a.. 1/3 cup ground cinnamon
b.. 1 tablespoon ground ginger
c.. 1 tablespoon ground nutmeg or mace
d.. 1-1/2 teaspoons ground cloves
e.. 1-1/2 teaspoons ground allspice.
For pumpkin pie, add 1 to 1-1/2 teaspoons of spice mix to your other
ingredients.
Scent Your Jack-o'-Lantern
Sprinkle a teaspoon of pumpkin spice mix into your carved pumpkin
before lighting the candle.
Storing Pumpkins and Winter Squash
Winter squashes don't like to be quite as cool as root crops do. If
you have a coolish bedroom, stashing them under the bed works well.
They like a temperature of about 50 to 65 degrees F.
Speaking of Halloween: The latest costume
Hey Buff,
Be the first on your block!
Candy in WV
Balloon Boy Halloween Costume Kit!
http://tinyurl.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day the teacher decides to play an animal
game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and
asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises
their hand. The teacher says, "See it's long
neck? What animal has a long neck?"
Sally holds up her hand and asks, "Is it a giraffe?"
"Very good Sally," the teacher replies. Next she
holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the students
holds up their hands. "See the stripes on this
animal? What animal has stripes?"
Billy holds up his hand and says, "It's a zebra."
"Very good Billy," the teacher replies. Next she holds
up a picture of a deer. None of the students recognized
the animal.
"See the big antlers on this animal. What animal
has horns like this?"
Still no one guesses. "Let me give you another hint,
it's something your mother calls your father."
Johnny shouts out, "I know what it is; it's a horny
bastard!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
don't move
http://www.thepostm
remain silent
http://www.thepostm
scarier
http://www.thepostm
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dracula Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dracula dies and he went to the Pearly Gates to meet God. God
refused
to let Dracula in because of all the sins that he had done going
around sucking blood & killing. "I'll give you a chance to redeem
your sins", said God "I'll send you back to earth, but not in a
human
form. You can be reincarnated into any other living thing of your
choice. So, what would you like to be?"
Still unrepentant, Dracula said, "OK, I want to become a living
thing
with wings and sucks blood, heh, heh, heh."
"So be it", said God and He turned Dracula into a vampire bat. So
back to earth he went, flying around sucking the blood of animals
until one day when a farmer killed him. So up he went again to meet
God, feeling a little bit sheepish (and a little batty).
"I'll give you another chance", said God. "I'll send you back again.
BUT not as a human or a bat. What will it be this time?"
Still adamant, Dracula said, "I still want to be a living thing with
wings and sucks bloo d!"
God thought for a while and then said, "OK, if that's what you
want",
and turned Dracula into a mosquito.
So back to earth again he went, flying around and sucking blood
until
one day, splat, he was squashed by his victim. So up he went again
to
meet God, feeling stupid (and rather bugged).
"I'll give you one last chance to redeem yourself. but this time you
cannot become a living thing. You can only be turned into a non-
living thing of your choice. So what will it be?" asked God.
Still stubborn, Dracula said, "Okayyyy...then turn me into a non-
living thing with wings and sucks blood!! heh...heh.."
"No problem," said God and He turned Dracula into a 'Sanitary
Napkin'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If the Indians had given the Pilgrim fathers a donkey instead of a
turkey, we all might be having a piece of ass for thanksgiving.
My ex came into the bedroom one night holding a jalapeno pepper in
his
hand. I asked him why he would bring pepper to our bedroom? He told
me
that we needed to spice up our love life!
A man was talking to a woman in a bar. "I have a 10 inch cock," he
boasted. "Well," she answered, "I find that hard to swallow."
She was only a Meter-Reader'
slot.
Women think they're so clever because they can fake an orgasm for
the
sake of a relationship, but men can fake a whole relationship for
the
sake of an orgasm.
A student who had recently been diagnosed with multiple personality
disorder went to the campus medical center. "Doc," he said, "I think
one of my personalities may be gay." "And this is causing you
discomfort?" the doctor asked. "Yeah," the student replied. "It's
kind
of a pain in the ass."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Derek Jeter Half Dollar
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View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Darrell was standing at a urinal in a bar bathroom when this
enormous
guys walks in, unzips his pants and exposes the biggest dick in the
world -- four feet long, five inches thick and violently red and
angry.
The monster looks at Darrell, grabs his huge dick with
both hands, like holding a baseball bat, and gives it an almighty
swing,
smashing the porcelain sink to pieces!
He growls and leers at the now frightened Darrell, looks
around and with another almighty swing, smashes the condom vending
machine right off the wall!
After another hideous growl he slams his huge dick against the side
of
the urinal several times, bending the stainless steel into contorted
shapes!
All of a sudden he stops, looks Darrell straight in the eye and
shouts,
"The next place this porcelain smashing, vender bending, urinal
destroyer is going... is up your ass buddy!"
With that, Darrell lets out a sigh of relief and says, "Thank God
for
that, I thought you were going to HIT me with it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Turbo Snake is the fastest and easiest way to unclog any drain in
your bathroom guaranteed.
Simply glide the Turbo Snake down the drain, give it a twirl, and
the specially designed hooks grab onto the hair and gunk to remove
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Small Turbo Snake has a smaller head for sinks.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Lord of the manor returned from his grouse hunt quite a bit
earlier than expected. He entered the master bedroom to change, and
found her Ladyship making passionate love to Sir Archibald Carpley.
The irate Lord stood stiffly and loudly berated his wife for her
infidelity. With thunder in his voice, he reminded her that he had
taken her from a miserable existence on a local run-down farm, given
her a fine home, provided her with servants, expensive clothes and
jewels, and almost anything she desired. By this time the woman was
crying inconsolably, his Lordship then turned his wrath on his
supposed friend: "And as for you Reggie -- you might at least stop
while I'm talking!"
In some cultures seductive women are cremated on vamp pyres.
The manufacturer of a well-known tonic for people with "tired" blood
received this testimonial from a little old lady who lived on a farm
in Tennessee: "Before taking your tonic," the woman wrote,"I was too
tired to hoe the fields or pick the cotton. But after only two
bottles
of your delicious mixture, I've become the best cotton-picking hoer
in
the county."
You should recognize that a prostitute with her hand in her panties
is
self-employed.
Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake
and announced, "I'll be playing in my room for the next two hours. I
sure would like a piece of cake when you're finished." Later, when
his
mother brought him a piece of cooled cake, Little Johnny exclaimed,
"Golly, it worked!" Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?"
Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in order to get a piece
around
here, you have to spend a couple of hours playing first!"
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dog Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man, who wanted a dog to protect his business, visited a kennel
that
specialized in attack dogs. The man explained to the kennel owner
that
he wanted the biggest, meanest, most vicious dog in the kennel, and
the
owner offered to take the man on a tour of the premises.
After they had been walking for a few minutes, they came upon a
large
dog, snarling loudly, and biting and clawing at the cage.
"He looks like he'd be a pretty good attack dog," said the buyer.
"Well, he's not bad," replied the owner, "but I have a different one
in
mind for you."
They continued walking around the premises, and after a while they
found
an even larger, meaner dog than the first. He snarled at the two men
and
tried to bite them through the wire on his cage.
"Ah," said the buyer. "This must be the dog you were referring to
earlier."
"Well, no." said the owner. "I have something better in mind for
you."
The men continued their tour. Eventually, they came upon a large
dog,
panting heavily and lying quietly on his side, licking his own butt.
He
seemed unaware of the men's approach.
"This is the dog I had in mind for you," said the owner.
The buyer was flabbergasted. "You're joking!" he exclaimed. "This
dog is
tame compared to the others; he doesn't even act like an attack
dog."
"I know he appears tame now," said the owner. "But you see, he just
ate
a lawyer, and he's trying to get the taste out of his mouth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Additional Ordering Details:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/I'm Free
http://silverandgol
LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE
http://www.wtv-
Fall and Winter Blessin's
http://www.loratrue
~~An Alternate To Halloween~~
http://www.reflecti
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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Surfin Surfari
Racer Car and Racing Simulator - Free Via Wesley
http://www.racer.
Where's My Cellphone
http://www.wheresmy
Signs Of A Bad Day
http://www.shangral
Daily With Our Troops #3
http://www.shangral
What To Wear On Halloween
http://terrisfp.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, I wanted to let you know that I'm giving the whole damn thing
away today, and this is REALLY the LAST day that I'll be doing this!
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away today for the last
time....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Configuring Your Start-up Folder
http://www.bleeping
Idiom Phrase Search Via Wesley
http://www.phrases.
Create your own Favicon - Free Via Wesley
http://www.favicon.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.pets.
Kitty Korner
http://www.pets.
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This program also removes any spyware or adware located on your PC
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Right now you can scan your PC or laptop for no cost to see if there
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Movie Links
Best Work Boot Ad
http://www.buffalos
Bier
http://www.buffalos
Bird Crap Detector
http://www.buffalos
Breast Implant recall
http://www.buffalos
Bush On Global Warming
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Chinook Water
http://www.buffalos
Circus Monte Carlo
http://www.buffalos
An Unusual Gun
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Coming Home
http://www.buffalos
Cop Crapper
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple had been split up for about six months, but still remained
good friends. This worked out pretty good since they lived in the
same
apartment building. One day the man slipped on the ice and broke his
arm. He met his ex-wife in the elevator and she asked if there was
anything she could do to help. He said, "Well, if it's not too much
trouble, could you help me take a bath?" She readily agreed and soon
was washing him when she saw a gradual erection begin to appear.
"Now
isn't that sweet," she cooed. "Look John, it still recognizes me."
Sure, I felt stupid, but I was also mighty relieved when my doctor
told me the burning sensation I was experiencing while urinating was
due to standing too close to the campfire.
A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for
some time at the only woman seated at the bar, he walked over to
her,
placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up
and
slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm
sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why
you drunken, worthless, insufferable asshole!" she screamed. "That's
funny," he muttered. "You even sound exactly like her."
Hymen: Males after smoking pot
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Original Dreamie
Now enjoy the comfort of your own bed wherever you go. Dreamie is a
top sheet, bottom sheet and pillow all in one. You'll have silky
soft, comfortable and clean sheets wherever you lounge. Use it for
house guests, sleepovers, traveling and more. Now available in three
great colors - natural ivory, rich espresso and ruby red.
Order now and we'll give you a second one at no charge.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One More
http://www.buffalos
One And Only
http://www.buffalos
I Can Do You One Better
http://www.buffalos
1 Piece bikini
http://www.buffalos
2 Cokes
http://www.buffalos
Double Asscrack
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twin Draft Guards? minimizes energy loss from doors and
windows saving you money on your energy bills.
Twin Draft Guards? work just as well on the interior doors of your
home
as they do outdoors, blocking drafts and keeping allergens, such as
dust,
pollen and even insects from traveling freely around your home. Twin
Draft
Guards are also helpful in blocking harmful fumes from the garage
and the
damp chill from the basement.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
While he eats, in his eyes there are gleams.
He's content, and his smile really beams.
There's no ifs, ands, or buts;
It's for sure that the sluts
For the zombie are ghouls of his dreams.
There was a young lady from Exeter
So pretty the men strained their necks at her
But one was so brave
To pull out and wave
The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.
There once was a man from Van Isle
Who said jogging just wasn't his style.
"I'll get my workouts," he said,
"At home, in my bed,
'Cause a Miss is as good as a mile!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Safely Talk and Drive at the Same Time
Jupiter Jack let's you talk without using your hands. It transmits
quality sound through the speakers in your car. Just plug Jupiter
Jack in your phone, preset your radio to 99.3 FM and you're ready to
start talking.
Order now and you'll get two Jupiter Jacks for the price of one.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Paul, a guy on the local beach just couldn't make it with any of the
girls, so he heads over to the lifeguard tower to see if the
lifeguard
has any advice for him. "Dude, it's obvious," says the lifeguard,
"you're wearing them baggy old swimming trunks that make you look
like
an old geezer.
They're years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair
of
Spandex Speedos - about two sizes too small - and drop a fist-sized
potato down inside 'em. I'm tellin
you man...you'll have all the babes you want!"
The following weekend, Paul hits the beach with his spanking new
tight
Speedos, and his fist-sized potato and for cryin' out loud! - it's
worse
than before! Everybody on the beach acts disgusted as he walks by,
covering their faces, turning away, laughing, looking sick!
So Paul goes back to the lifeguard again and asks him, "What's wrong
now?"
"Jeezzzzz!" says the lifeguard...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sure Clip
Sure Clip is the world's most advanced nail clipper. The wide,
rubberized non-slip comfort grip gives you complete control. The
professional quality steel blades give a clean, precise cut every
time. With an extra wide opening, Sure Clip even cuts thick, hard
nails. There's even a built in diamond-edge steel file, to smooth
edges or for quick touch ups. No more flying clips, no more bending
to clean up, no more squinting or struggling to see what you are
cutting. Order now and we'll give you a second one just pay separate
S&H.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young lady goes to a new doctor for an examination, and he
discovers
that she has crabs. He thinks to himself ,"How am I going to tell
her that
she has crabs?"
After the exam he tells her to get dressed and meet him back in his
office. Once there he proceeds to tell her that she has a very
unusual
condition. She is quite concerned and asks him what it is. He
responds
that she is suffering from Nixon's Disease.
She says, "What?"
He again responds, "Nixon's Disease."
She says, "Level with me, Doc, what does it mean?"
He responds, "Well Miss Jones, to put it very bluntly, you've got
bugs
in your oval orifice."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Kangaroo Keeper
Instantly organize any bag with the Kangaroo Keeper. Coming in
different sizes and colors, coordinate it with any style. Be able
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View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1707
Snugglebug Festival
Diana: BJ did you see the tents in the backyard?
BJ: No. I guess I will go and see what is going on.
BJ goes to the backyard and sees tents and a large crowd.
BJ: What is going on Katie?
Katie: It is the first annual Snugglebug Festival. Over in the
first tent we are selling books and videos.
BJ: Such as?
Sandi: Such as: 'Snugglebugging and You', 'The Art of
Snugglebugging'
'The Zen of Snugglebugging'
'The 12 Step Program and Snugglebugging' and 'Finding
Your
Inner Snugglebug'.
BJ: Amazing.
Katie: Rudy is over in tent three teaching the early disciples the
basics.
BJ: Explain the basics.
Sandi: Well in TM, relaxation theraphy, one strives to achieve a
higher state of consciousness. In snugglebugging, one tries to
achieve a lower state of subsconsciousness.
BJ: You mean sleep.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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