THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
If a man harbors any sort of fear,
it makes him landlord to a ghost.
Lloyd Douglas
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
The weather man says it will be mostly dry, but very
cold and chilly for the little ones tonight as they
go for candy tonight. I like to buy several different
bags of candy. The war department said, "Honey, why are
you buying five bags this year? Last year we only passed
out 2." (Hehehe...leaves 3 for me)
A little history on the origin of the holiday
may be of interest for some...
The celebration has some elements of a festival of the dead.
The ancient Celts believed that the border between this world
and the Otherworld became thin on Samhain, allowing spirits
(both harmless and harmful) to pass through. The family's
ancestors were honoured and invited home whilst harmful
spirits were warded off. It is believed that the need to
ward off harmful spirits led to the wearing of costumes and masks.
Their purpose was to disguise oneself as a harmful spirit and
thus avoid harm. In Scotland the spirits were impersonated by
young men dressed in white with masked, veiled or blackened
faces.Samhain was also a time to take stock of food
supplies and slaughter livestock for winter stores.
Bonfires played a large part in the festivities. All
other fires were doused and each home lit their hearth
from the bonfire. The bones of slaughtered livestock were
cast into its flames. Sometimes two bonfires would be
built side-by-side, and people and their livestock
would walk between them as a cleansing ritual.
OH... AND DONT FORGET TO SET YOUR CLOCKS BACK TONIGHT!!!
Daylight savings time ends tonight!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________
THE COMICS
the wicked witch
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y010.html
anger management
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y011.html
while out trick or treating...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y012.html
this is gonna slow us down
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y013.html
decorating punkins
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y014.html
last years trick or treat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y015.html
I'll settle for a trick
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y016.html
scare the little fuckers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y017.html
scared stiff
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y018.html
halloween treats
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y019.html
________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Here's your Halloween card
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8268.html
Halloween costume
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8269.html
Halloween pranks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8270.html
halloween dogs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8272.html
Halloween theme song
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8273.html
Spooky Halloween
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8274.html
Halloween scaries
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8275.html
You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:
10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag,
you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say: "Great Boris Karloff Mask,"
And you're not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..."
And can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag
full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that
won't dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the
neighborhood with a walker.
And the number one reason Seniors should not go Trick Or Treating...
*
*
*
1. You keep having to go home to pee.
No matter, have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN anyway.
______________
One Halloween this woman opens her door to find
the most adorable little girl, with golden
blond curly hair and the biggest blue eyes.
She was dressed as an Angel, and was just
delightful. The woman said, "what are you
supposed to say sweetheart?"The little girl
looks up at the woman and says "Twick or Tweat!"
The woman thinks this is just adorable, and
she calls her husband to come to the door. The
woman say to the child, "Go ahead honey say it
just one more time." Once again the little
Angel looks up and says, "Twick or Tweat!"
The husband agrees with his wife, this little
Angel is just the cutest thing. The woman picks
an apple from the Treat Bowl, shines it up with
her apron, and drops it into the little girl's Treat Bag.
The little Angel looks in her bag then looks up
at the woman and says, "Thanks a lot lady, you
just broke my fucking cookies!" A couple was
invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party.
She got a terrible headache and told her husband
to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted
husband, protested, but she argued and said she was
going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there
was no need of his good time being spoiled by not
going. So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour,
awakened without pain, and as it was still early,
she decided to go to the party. In as much as her
husband did not know what her costume was, she
thought she would have some fun by watching her
husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband
cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with
every nice chick he could and copping a little feel
here and a little kiss there. His wife up to him
and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left
his partner high and dry and devoted his time to
the new stuff that had just arrived. She let him go
as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her
husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition
in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one
of the cars and had a little bang. Just before
unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home
and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering
what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked
what kind of a time he had had. He said, "Oh the same
old thing. You know I never have a good time when
you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance.
When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other
guys, so we went into the den and played poker all
evening. But I'll tell you... The guy I loaned my
costume to sure had a real good time!"
_______________
After forty years of marriage, Frankenstein and the
Bride of Frankenstein came to a stand still in
their love life. Each night Frankenstein would come
home from work, eat his dinner, and sit in front of
the television set until he fell asleep. Dissatisfied
with this arrangement, the Bride decided to see a therapist.
"He's never in the mood," complained the Bride.
"Try a romantic candlelight dinner," suggested the therapist.
The next day, the Bride returned to the therapist with
a frown on her face. "He's still not in the mood,"
she complained. "This time," the therapist recommended,
"Try something more seductive. Put on some sexy lingerie
and lure him into the bedroom." But the Bride returned to
the therapist the following day complaining that her
monster of a husband was still not in the mood. As a
final piece of advice, the therapist said, "You should
try to recreate the moment that first sparked your romance."
The next day the Bride returned with a huge grin on her
face. "Thank you so much," she said to the therapist.
"Last night, I forced Frankenstein to come outside in
the middle of the lightening storm. And right there,
in our backyard, he made love to me like it was our
very first time.""Making love in a lightening storm put
him in the mood?" asked the therapist.After forty years
of marriage, Frankenstein and the Bride of Frankenstein
came to a stand still in their love life. Each night
Frankenstein would come home from work, eat his dinner,
and sit in front of the television set until he fell
asleep. Dissatisfied with this arrangement, the Bride
decided to see a therapist."He's never in the mood,"
complained the Bride."Try a romantic candlelight dinner,"
suggested the therapist.The next day, the Bride returned
to the therapist with a frown on her face. "He's still
not in the mood," she complained."This time," the therapist
recommended, "Try something more seductive. Put on some
sexy lingerie and lure him into the bedroom."
But the Bride returned to the therapist the following
day complaining that her monster of a husband was still
not in the mood. As a final piece of advice, the therapist
said, "You should try to recreate the moment that first
sparked your romance."The next day the Bride returned
with a huge grin on her face. "Thank you so much," she
said to the therapist. "Last night, I forced Frankenstein
to come outside in the middle of the lightening storm. And
right there, in our backyard, he made love to me like it
was our very first time.""Making love in a lightening
storm put him in the mood?" asked the therapist.
"Well," said the Bride of Frankenstein,
"I tied a kite to his penis."
_________________
A man arrived at a walk-in medical clinic, promptly
at opening time, only to find two other men outside,
waiting.The door was still locked.He knew one of the
men and they started talking. About five minutes later
the receptionist came running across the parking lot,
apologizing for being late.The man turned to his
friend and asked, "Are you first in line to see the doctor?"
"Yes," the other replied.
"Well, I guess I'm third then," he said.
"No," the second man said, "you're second."
"Second? What about you?"
"I'm the doctor."
______________
BUFFALO Bill
beer goggles
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jooiuy.htm
before sex
http://www.buffaloschips.com/yyuuiio.htm
bitchin head
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mnbbvc.htm
___________
SYDESJOKES List
Crazy Motorcycle Stunt In Iran
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000392.html
Creedence Clearwater Revival
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000393.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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