Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
10 Coldest Cities in U.S.--
1. Fairbanks, AK, averages 26.7 F (-2.9 C)
2. Anchorage, AK, averages 36.2 F (2.3 C)
3. Gunnison, CO, averages 37.3 F (2.9 C)
4. International Falls, MN, averages 37.4 F (3 C)
5. Duluth, MN, averages 39.1 F (3.9 C)
6. Caribou, ME, averages 39.2 F (4 C)
7. Butte, MT, averages 39.5 F (4.2 C)
8. Sault. Ste. Marie, MI, averages 40.1 F (4.5 C)
9. Grand Forks, ND, averages 40.3 F (4.6 C)
10. Alamosa, CO, averages 40.8 F (4.9 C)
Top snowiest U.S. cities
LOCATION AMOUNT
1. Blue Canyon, Calif. 240.3
2. Marquette, Mich. 141.0
3. Sault Ste. Marie, Mich. 117.4
4. Syracuse, N.Y. 115.6
5. Caribou, Maine 111.6
6. Mount Shasta, Calif. 104.9
7. Lander, Wyo. 100.4 15.
8. Flagstaff, Ariz. 100.3
9. Sexton Summit, Ore. 97.8
10. Muskegon, Mich. 96.1
*Valdez, Alaska 326.0
When you live in one of the top ten snowiest or coldest cities
in the country you don't desire to be at the top of the lists. It is
always good to be able to look in the paper and say, " I'm
glad I don't live in Minnesota or Alaska." You also get to snicker
when the New York snow belt people complain about blizzards
because they get their blizzards when it's 30 degrees outside,
not when it's 40 below.
Yes Nancy there is a winter and it is coming soon to a field near
you.
Enjoy your weekend.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chef Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Top 10 Pickup Lines Used By Chefs.....
10. "Your eyes are like limpid pools of chicken stock."
9. "I know we've just met, but will you marinade me?"
8. "Cumin here often?"
7. "How do you like your eggs? Poached, scrambled or fertilized?"
6. "Care to come back to my place and kick it up a notch?"
5. "Hey, weren't you in my 'Introduction to Melons' class?"
4. "We've now simmered for the recommended 25 minutes.....
come
to a full boil!"
3. "You're twice as sweet as a creme brulee.....and less drippy."
2. "Get the buttah."
And the Number 1 Pickup Line used by Chefs...
1. "Uh, yeah.....I invented Spaghetti-O'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
my wife caught me
http://www.thepostm
gagging
http://www.thepostm
pass the stuffing
http://www.thepostm
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Military Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Army General, a Marine General and a Navy Admiral were all
enjoying a
round of brew when they decided to have a contest.
"Let's see which service has the most balls," one of them said, and
the
rest agreed.
So the Army General took them to his base, went out to the Rifle
Range
and, finding a soldier, ordered him, "Son, run out there in the
middle
of all that weapons fire and fetch me a white rock."
The soldier complied.
The General turned to his friends and stated, "Now, that's balls."
The Marine General took them to just outside his base, found a young
Fire Eater and told him, "Marine, see that Biker Bar across the
street?
Go in there and tell them they're all a bunch of a-hole, un-American
sissies who couldn't fight their way out of a whore house."
The Marine complied, got his ass kicked, and came back out. "That's
balls," said the General.
The Admiral smirked a bit and took them to the Naval Base. Stopping
at a
pier, he got out, grabbed a bullhorn and shouted to a young Seaman
who
was painting the mast, 50 feet above the deck. "Hey Sailor, I want
you
to swan dive your sorry ass off that mast down here to me....that's
an
order."
The seaman looked down at the Admiral and yelled back, "Fuck you,
sir."
The Admiral smiled at his friends and said, "Gentlemen, game, set,
match."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Learn A Language in 10 Days
The entire Pimsleur Approach is what language learning should be:
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while they are on vacation in some of the most beautiful countries.
Dr. Pimsleur designed each lesson as the foundation for the next. In
other words, you'll keep building on what you've previously learned.
Best of all, the Pimsleur course does not waste your time by
cramming grammar down your throat. Learn a new language today and
travel abroad!
17 Languages available.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shipwrecked Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Phillip fancied himself quite a ladies man, so when his cruise ship
went
down in a storm and he found himself stranded on a desert island
with
six women, he couldn't believe his good fortune. They quickly agreed
that each woman would have one night a week with the only man.
Phillip threw himself into the arrangement with gusto, working even
on
his day off, but as the weeks stretched into months, he found
himself
looking forward to that day of rest more and more eagerly.
One afternoon he was sitting on the beach and wishing for some more
men
to share his duties when he caught sight of a man waving from a life
raft that was bobbing on the waves. Phillip swam out, pulled the
raft to
shore, and did a little jig of happiness. "You can't believe how
happy I
am to see you, he cried.
The new fellow eyed him up and down and cooed, "You're a sight for
sore
eyes too, you gorgeous thing."
"Shit," sighed Phillip, "there go my Sundays."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Original Dreamie
Now enjoy the comfort of your own bed wherever you go. Dreamie is a
top sheet, bottom sheet and pillow all in one. You'll have silky
soft, comfortable and clean sheets wherever you lounge. Use it for
house guests, sleepovers, traveling and more. Now available in three
great colors - natural ivory, rich espresso and ruby red.
Order now and we'll give you a second one at no charge.
View Website
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jewish Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
After many years, a Jewish mother gets the phone
call she never thought she would get from her
openly gay son.
"Mom, I've met a wonderful girl. I'm going
straight, and we're going to get married."
Mom is overjoyed, but can't really believe things
are that good. "I suppose it's too much to ask
that she's Jewish."
Her son says, "Mom, not only is she Jewish, but
she happens to be from a very wealthy and
prominent Beverly Hills family."
Mom is beside herself with joy, and says, "You
don't know how happy you've made me. What's her
name?" The son says, "Monica Lewinsky."
Mom is silent for a moment, and then says, "What
happened to that nice Catholic boy you used to
date?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Smoke Assist
Smoke Assist is the exciting alternative to cigarettes. You may now
satisfy your oral fixation with our water vapor device Smoke
Assist̢㢠Featuring realistic tobacco flavor, look and feel. No more
smoke smell on your clothes, in your home or work.
Get the Smoke Assist E-Cigarette at no charge with the purchase of
20 cartridges and S&H
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dating Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The trick to successful dating is learning how to interpret the
hidden
signs, those tiny give away gestures that can tell you so much about
a
person. Train yourself to recognize these key "signs."
1. Man gets in car without opening door for woman.
- No foreplay.
2. Can't hail a cab.
- Impotent.
3. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant.
- Prefers virgins.
4. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant, but gets lost on the
way.
- He is a virgin.
5. Wants to go to a French Restaurant.
- Will swallow.
6. Takes too long deciding what to order.
- Has trouble reaching orgasm.
7. Insists on ordering for you, saying, "The lady will have..."
- Thinks you had an orgasm when you didn't.
8. Asks for "the usual"
- Insists on missionary position only.
9. Asks what the specials are.
- Will want you to use handcuffs.
10. Fills up on bread and crackers.
- Premature ejaculator.
11. Drinks decaf.
- Fakes orgasms.
12. Asks for detailed descriptions of desserts.
- Needs you to talk dirty during sex.
13. Credit card is refused.
- Low sperm count.
14. Under tips waiter.
- Small penis.
15. Uses toothpick.
- Is trying to tell you size isn't everything.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sure Clip
Sure Clip is the world's most advanced nail clipper. The wide,
rubberized non-slip comfort grip gives you complete control. The
professional quality steel blades give a clean, precise cut every
time. With an extra wide opening, Sure Clip even cuts thick, hard
nails. There's even a built in diamond-edge steel file, to smooth
edges or for quick touch ups. No more flying clips, no more bending
to clean up, no more squinting or struggling to see what you are
cutting. Order now and we'll give you a second one just pay separate
S&H.
View Website
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frog Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One fine sunny morning, the priest took a walk in the local forest.
He had been walking by the small stream when he noticed a sad, sad
looking frog sitting on a toadstool.
"What's wrong with you?" said the priest.
"Well," said the frog, "the reason I am so sad on this fine day is
because I wasn't always a frog."
"Really!" said the priest. "Can you explain!"
"Once upon a time I was an 11 year old Choir boy at the local
church.
I too was walking through this forest when I was confronted by the
wicked witch of the forest. 'Let me pass!' I yelled, but to no
avail.
She called me a cheeky little boy and with a flash of her wand,
turned me into this frog you see before you."
"That's an incredible story" said the priest. "Is there no way of
reversing this spell that the witch has cast upon you?."
"Yes" said the frog, "It is said, that if a nice kind person would
pick me up, take me home, give me food & Warmth and with a good
nights sleep, I would wake up a boy once again."
"Today's your lucky day!" said the priest, and picked up the frog
and
took him home. The priest gave the frog lots of food, placed him by
the fire and at bedtime put the frog on the pillow beside him. When
the priest awoke, he saw the 11-year-old Choirboy beside him in bed,
"And that Your Honour, is the case for the Defense.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Kangaroo Keeper
Instantly organize any bag with the Kangaroo Keeper. Coming in
different sizes and colors, coordinate it with any style. Be able
to access up to 70 items in seconds with various compartments. Never
call your bag a bottomless pit again. Get organized with the
Kangaroo Keeper. Purchase one Kangaroo Keeper and receive another
for just the cost of shipping and handling
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Another Victory Won
http://silverandgol
Alternate to Halloween
http://www.reflecti
Depression
http://www.loratrue
Teddy Bear Friends
http://www.carolspo
Doing All The Word
http://www.Shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
http://www.fladgo.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Chairman Ting - Bicycle wall art Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.
How do magnets work? Via Dianne
http://my.execpc.
Applebee's Free Meal On Veteran's Day Via Heather
http://www.applebee
The Horror and Halloween Search Engine Via Wesley
http://www.horrorfi
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, I wanted to let you know that I'm giving the whole damn thing
away today, and this is REALLY the LAST day that I'll be doing this!
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away today for the last
time....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
http://www.fladgo.
Thank you so much for your time!
Shawn
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv) Via Wesley
Robotic Submarine Running Debian Wins International Competition
http://fwd4.
Printable Mazes
http://www.printabl
NETBASICS
http://www.netbasic
*+*+*+*+*+*+
If anyone is interested in GETTING A HALLOWEEN COSTUME online I sell
for every ad on my site there's a bunch of costume stores I sell for
( I GET A LITTLE KICK BACK FROM THE SALES IT HELPS )we just put up a
whole bunch of links thanks from the help of my daughter for doing
the typing and work to get my site back up I couldn't use my right
hand now for a couple of months already .I just got a cast on my arm
yesterday so I'm typing with my left finger (SLOWLY) and that's
taking forever lol but I'm on here .Thankfully I have her to do the
fast stuff for me . Also there's a party in Tinley that Rosina is
having on Halloween email me and let me know if you would like to go
with us it's on Halloween at 8 pm.INFO BELOW
http://www.ghostsan
http://www.ghostsan
MELISSA
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.thepetce
Kitty Korner
http://en.wikipedia
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual?
Did you know that many people who are married or in a serious
relationship secretly download software applications that allow them
to monitor and see everything that their spouse or lover does on the
Internet.
Do you think that someone has done this to you? You can remove these
programs from your PC or laptop with a program called Spyware Nuker.
This program also removes any spyware or adware located on your PC
or laptop.
Right now you can scan your PC or laptop for no cost to see if there
are any "spying" programs on them.
Press Here to Begin Scan (YOU WILL NOT BE CHARGED FOR THIS):
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Here is some more information about this new way to watch
television:
1) All of the programming is uncensored!
2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch!
And new channels are added every day!
3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
And new stations are added daily!
4) All of these channels are available 24 hours per day right from
your PC and laptop!
5) No additional hardware is needed!
6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!
Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Indian Teacher Explaining the Word *uck
http://www.buffalos
Instant Justice Mega Mix
http://www.buffalos
Iraqi Speed Bump
http://www.buffalos
Irish Beer
http://www.buffalos
Islamic Stripper
http://www.buffalos
Gun Control Witness
http://www.buffalos
Gunslinger
http://www.buffalos
Half Time Show
http://www.buffalos
Hammer Guy
http://www.buffalos
Happy Penguin
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Penis Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Which Penis Do You Have?
The Excedrin Penis: It's thhhhiiiiiisssss big.
The Snickers Penis: It satisfies you.
The Magnavox Penis: Smart. Very Smart.
The Life Call Penis: Its fallen and it can't get up.
The American Express Penis: Don't leave home without it.
The Tootsie Roll Pop Penis: How many licks DOES it take...?
The M & M Penis: Melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
The Lucky Charms Penis: It's magically delicious.
The Energizer Penis: It keeps going and going...
The Right Guard Penis: Anything less is uncivilized.
The Campbells Soup Penis: Mmm mmm good.
The Kix Penis: Kid tested, mother approved.
The McDonald's Penis: Over 8 billion served.
The Ragu Penis: Comes out chunkier than the rest.
The All-State Penis: You're in good hands.
The 7-Up Penis: The UN-penis.
The Barq's Penis: The one with bite.
The Beef Penis: It's what's for dinner.
The Bud Lite Penis: Great Taste, Less Filling.
The Twizzler Penis: It makes mouths happy.
The Starburst Penis: The juice is loose.
The Timex Penis: Takes a lickin' and keeps on...
The Burger King Penis: Have it your way.
The Wendy's Penis: Where's the beef?
The Lay's Penis: Betcha can't eat just one.
The Little Ceaser's Penis: Penis!! Penis!!
The Bounty Penis: The quicker picker-upper.
The Domino's Pizza Penis: Deliver's in 30 min or less.
The Rice Krispies Penis: What does your penis say to you?
The Extra Penis: Lasts an extra extra long time.
The Charmin Penis: Dont squeeze the penis!
The Windows ME Penis: If you ask it to do too much, it'll crash.
The Virginia Slims Penis: You've come a long way, baby.
The Secret Penis: Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
The Sanka Penis: Good to the last drop.
The Payday Penis: Its almost totally nuts!
The Yellow Pages Penis: Let your fingers do the walkin'.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Turbo Snake
Simply glide Turbo Snake down the drain, twirl, then pull out Turbo
SnakeT specially designed head grabs & locks onto hair clogs to
remove and free the drain instantly! What's best, its flexible
design easily maneuvers down the drain to seek out clogs without
having to remove the drain stopper. For bathroom sinks, showers &
tubs. Each set includes the Large Turbo Snake for Showers and Tubs,
Small Turbo Snake for Sinks, and Peel and Stick Storage Hook. Now
only $10.00 plus S&H or double the offer for an extra P&H.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Almost done
http://www.buffalos
Almost there
http://www.buffalos
Alone
http://www.buffalos
Men And Women
http://www.buffalos
New Medal
http://www.buffalos
American
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Air Cutter
Use the home styling system that pays for itself. The Air Cutter
gives you a professional hair cut with no hassle or mess. The
fool-proof system allows you to cut any type of hair without
embarrassing mistakes. Just select different attachments and use the
style guide to create any type of look.
Use the Air Cutter at no charge for 30 days, just pay shipping and
handling
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mrs. Drac shortly after her wedding
Was forced to wash all of her bedding
Seems she'd been a virgin
And Drac was no surgeon
So there'd been a bit of blood letting.
(By Gary Hallock)
There once was a husky young Viking
Whose sexual prowess was striking.
Every time he got hot
He would scour the twat
Of some girl that might be to his liking.
There was a young man from Montrose
Who could diddle himself with his toes.
He did it so neat
He fell in love with his feet,
And christened them Myrtle and Rose.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Safely Talk and Drive at the Same Time
Jupiter Jack let's you talk without using your hands. It transmits
quality sound through the speakers in your car. Just plug Jupiter
Jack in your phone, preset your radio to 99.3 FM and you're ready to
start talking.
Order now and you'll get two Jupiter Jacks for the price of one.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This guy goes into a whore house and gives the lady at the front
desk
$500 and tells her that he wants a woman that can handle him. She
replies, go down the hall and its the second door on the right. He
does and just as they get started she starts screaming from the
pain.
He then marches back to the front desk and tell the woman that he
said he wanted a woman that could handle him. She says, ok go down
the hall and its the third door on the left. He does and once again
the woman starts screaming just as they get started. Then he goes
back to the front desk and she says I know I know you want a women
that can handle you. She says, ok ok this time go all the way down
the hall and down the stairs, there won't be any lights so just feel
around till you hit something wet and stick it in. He does this and
just as they get started nothing happens there isn't any screaming.
Well he thinks, finally, this could work. As he gets into it he
shouts "Oh yea, talk to me baby". She replies "MOOOOOO"!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One Sunday morning, a young woman, who needed forgiveness for her
sins, came to a Baptist church. She got up in front of the
congregation and stated, "Last week, I slept with a young soldier
who
picked me up at a bar and now I ask the Lord's forgiveness.
"Hallelujah!
I
slept with a young sailor, but now I ask the Lord's forgiveness.
"Hallelujah!
have come here and done my penance, I will sleep with the Lord," she
finished. But before the congregation could respond, an old drunk in
the back yelled out in a clear voice, "That's right momma, fuck 'em
all."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keep Warm Air In & Winter Air Out
Twin Draft Guards? minimizes energy loss from doors and
windows saving you money on your energy bills.
Twin Draft Guards? work just as well on the interior doors of your
home
as they do outdoors, blocking drafts and keeping allergens, such as
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Draft
Guards are also helpful in blocking harmful fumes from the garage
and the
damp chill from the basement.
Additional Ordering Details:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1701
Discussion
Sandi: So daddy what will you do when you retire?
BJ: I have not really thought about it.
Katie: You need to think about it.
BJ: Why?
Rudy: We have studied and a lot of guys who do not have a plan
just simply wither away and die.
BJ: I won't do that.
Sandi: What is different about you?
BJ: Well I, I would... I.. I need to think about that.
Rudy: You have several gifts. You like to write, to work in the
church,
you have a lot of experience in the computer field, in counseling,
to
turn that off, might be scary.
BJ: Well, I....
Katie: You need to be busy.
BJ: Well, I....
Sandi: We want you to be home, but you need to have a plan.
BJ: Well, I need to re-think.
Katie: That's our father.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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