THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
If you can smile when things go wrong,
you have someone in mind to blame
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Yesterday was a nice quiet and relaxing
day. Turk the dog aka Carlos the rat and
I spent most of the day relaxing and resting.
Grand ma has a little Yorkie named Tyler.
While we were out there, Turk spent most
of his time chasing Grand Ma's dog.
It was a little humorous because you would
not think of a 7 pound chihuahua as aggressive.
However, Tyler didn't want to share his toys
and food with Turk, and vise versa. But
eventually the pair worked out a certain
tolerance for each other. However, when Tyler
decided he wanted to sit on my lap at Grand Ma's,
that was not an acceptable arrangement for
Turk. The war department scolded Turk once
or twice and he settled down after that.
Apparently the whole trip must have tired
him out because it seemed like Turk required more
sleep than normal yesterday, after our
return. He certainly was not very happy with
sharing my chair with me and seemed to think
that I should find another place to park my butt.
But, he managed to divvy up and all was good.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_______________
THE COMICS
echo valley
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w040.html
mow the lawn
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w041.html
distractions
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w042.html
you're my son
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w043.html
it was just once
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w044.html
lead foot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w045.html
stiches
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w046.html
obama meds
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w047.html
sexy undies
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w048.html
______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
a great story
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8168.html
Charlie Chapman and the dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8169.html
crazy bartender
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8170.html
at area 51
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8171.html
robbery at the beauty school
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8172.html
Gulf coast of Florida
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8173.html
Three men, who had fallen upon hard times, decided the
only solution to their troubles was to rob a bank.
But they wanted to do it in a way no one had done
before. After much discussion, they decided they would
use an elephant to rob the bank. So they went out
and got an elephant. At the heist, everyone is quite
impressed with these men, who would have the moxie
and the creativity to use an elephant in the commission
of this crime. During the getaway, however, they had
only gone two blocks when the police showed up and
demanded they stop. Instead, they urged the elephant
on faster. The police, regrettably, did their duty all
too well, and felled the elephant with a hail of bullets.
The three thieves, remarkably unwounded, stood around
the animal, in tears. "No!" one cried, "Why him?? It
should have been me!" The police were dumbfounded. As
they clapped the men in handcuffs, one officer asked,
"What's going on here? What's the big deal? There's
eight different ways you guys could have run with the
money after we shot this animal. What's so important
about an ELEPHANT?" One thief answered him, "You don't
understand, officer. You couldn't possibly understand.
No one could have *any* idea of the trouble we had
getting the stocking over his head."
________________________
On their way to get married, a young couple are involved
in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves
sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter
to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin
to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven?
When St. Peter shows up, they asked him. St. Peter says,
"I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked.
Let me go find out," and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited for an answer...
for a couple of months.
While they waited, they discussed that IF they were allowed to
get married in Heaven, SHOULD they get married, what with
the eternal aspect of it all.
"What if it doesn't work?" they wondered,
"Are we stuck together FOREVER?"
After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns,
looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple,
"you CAN get married in Heaven."
"Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if
things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slams his clipboard onto the ground.
"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.
"OH, COME ON!!" St. Peter shouts, "It took me three months
to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long
it'll take me to find a lawyer?
_______________
One day a state trooper was pulling off an expressway near
Chicago. When he turned onto the street at the end of the
ramp, he noticed someone at a chicken place getting into his
car. The driver placed the bucket of chicken on top of his
car, got in, and drove off with the bucket still on top of
his car.
So the trooper decided to pull him over and perform a
community service by giving the driver his chicken. He
pulled him over, walked up to the car, pulled the bucket off
the roof, and offered it to the driver.
The driver looked at the trooper and said, "No thanks. I
just bought some."
____________
Todd was arrested AGAIN and the detective was leafing
through his crime history folder.
"Hmmm, quite a record." he said. "Shoplifting, hit-and-run,
disorderly conduct, armed robbery, sexual assault,
sexual assault, forgery, sexual assault, manslaughter..."
"Yeah, I know," said Todd. "It took me quite a while to
figure out what I was good at."
__________________
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed
away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to
visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When
she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother
replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making
love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother
that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely
be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny.
"Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured
out the best time to do it was when the church bells would
start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and
slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the
Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear,
and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck
hadn't come along."
____________
BUFFALO Bill
Hard at the Beach
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aaswe.htm
Harley Ad
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfrg.htm
Harsh Laws
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfref.htm
Herbal Elements For Men
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfgth.htm
______________
FUN PAGES from Loprraine
Dots
http://tinyurl.com/yzxhukz
Insider Tales: Stolen Venus
http://tinyurl.com/qf5ph8
Hang On
http://tinyurl.com/64roph
________________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Choking
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000341.html
Christmas Bird
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000342.html
Christmas Kangaroo
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000343.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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