Plants gone potty!: July 2010

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner!(Sunday)

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!

Life is like a hot bath.
The longer you stay,
the more wrinkled you get

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Wimbledon hopeful Simona Halep wants surgery to reduce the
size of her breasts. Halep is seen as one of the tennis
stars of the future after winning a host of junior titles
and a place in the final of the junior French Open last year.
But the 5-foot-5-inch Romanian tennis star said she thinks
her 34DD bust is holding her back.

"This fall I'll have a breast reduction operation," Halep
said. "The breasts make me uncomfortable when I play.
It's the weight that troubles me and my ability to react quickly" she added.
WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL THIS KID THAT WINNING ISN'T EVERYTHING!
THIS SELFISH SPOILED LITTLE BRAT SHOULDN'T BE SO CONSUMED
WITH "WINNING MAJOR TENNIS TOURNAMENTS"! WHAT ABOUT US....
THE HARD-WORKING EVERYDAY FAN?
34DD's?

FOLKS PAY TOP DOLLAR FOR HOOTERS LIKE THAT! AND MANY OF US
PAY TO SEE THEM. AND THIS LITTLE BRAT WANTS TO HAVE THEM
"REDUCED"?THE NERVE OF SOME PEOPLE...

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

_______________

THE COMICS

implants
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i060.html

tanning salon
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i061.html

doctors confirm
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i062.html

treasury announcement
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i063.html

a sneeze
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i064.html

boys will be boys
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i065.html

big balls
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i066.html

a best seller
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i067.html

censor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i068.html

what really happened
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i069.html

_______________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

BP Spills Coffee
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100143.html

Obama Bumper Sticker Removal Kit
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100144.html

The Urinal Cakes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100145.html

Baxter Black - So Lucky To Be An American
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100146.html

demolition call
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100147.html

vigorin commericial
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100148.html

now thats a fuckin bike
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100149.html
________________

POWER POINT DISPLAYS

voted best email of this year
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd290.html

flowers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd291.html

Victoria
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd292.html

I'm the only female in a house full of guys. Four sons and
a husband. Toilet seat is never down...etc. I'm the only
one who would be using Female products.....correct? A
peculiar thing was happening at my house.
Tampons were disappearing! A few months ago I went to my
cupboard to get out a tampon,and there was only one left.
I could have sworn I had just bought a box the month before.
So, I go back to the store, buy a new box and forget about it.
The next month I go back to the cupboard..... and again....
there is only one tampon left again. What's going on here? Gremlins?
I go to the store and buy another box, and forget about it. I
decided to clean out my two youngest sons closet and at the
bottom of their closet are the wrappers, applicators and the
tampons themselves. I am starting to freak! What are they
doing with them?I get a hold of myself and tell myself that
I am an adult and can handle this, despite the bizarre thoughts
running through my mind. I'm thinking, "Do I have enough money
saved up in the bank for major therapy?" I go to the top of the
stairs and yell for my two youngest sons to "come here!"
They march up the stairs and find me in their room staring into
the bottom of their closet. I said "What are you doing with those?
Those are mine!" My 12 year old looks like a deer caught in the
headlights and is silent.
My 10 year old looks at me all innocent and says. "Well, Mom,
we were playing with our G.I. Joes and stuff... and those make
really good scud missiles... What do you use them for?" To
which I replied: "Never Mind! Go Play!"
_______________

Friedman's worried that he might be gay, so he goes to a psychiatrist.
After a few sessions, the shrink says, "I've got some good news
and some bad news. Which do you want first?"
Friedman says, "Give me the bad news first."
The psychiatrist says, "You definitely have homosexual tendencies."
Friedman says, "After that, what could be the good news?"
The psychiatrist says, "I think you're kinda cute."
______________

Schneider's just waking up from anesthesia after surgery,
and his wife's sitting by his side.
His eyes flutter open and he says, "You're so beautiful."
Then he falls asleep again, and since she had never heard
him say that before, she stays by his side.
A few minutes later, his eyes flutter open again
and he says, "You're cute."
She says, "What happened to 'beautiful'?"
He says, "The drugs are wearing off."
____________

Bill and Hillary were at the Yankee's home opener, sitting in the first
Row, with the Secret Service people directly behind them. One of the
Secret Service guys leaned forward and said something to Bill.
Clinton stared at the guy, looked at Hillary, looked back at the agent,
And nodded his head.
Then Bill picked up Hillary by the coat collar and the seat of her
Pants, and dropped her right over the wall onto the field. She's kicking
And swearing and screaming, and the crowd goes wild. They're cheering,
Applauding, and high-fiving.
Bill is bowing and smiling, when the agent leans forward and says: "I
Said, they want you to throw out the first PITCH!"
_____________

A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage
questionnaire form. The young man, who had never talked to a pastor
before, was quite nervous and the pastor tried to put him at ease.
When they came to the question, "Are you entering this marriage of
your own free will?" there was a long pause.
Finally, the girl looked over at the apprehensive young man and said,
"Put down yes."
_______________

Murray had a new flame, and before long they had a difference of
opinion. "I don't like the way you're carrying on with other guys,"
he ranted, "That must stop!"
"Calm down, Murray," she replied, "There's no reason for you to flip.
Listen, don't I always let you take me to shows?"
"Yeah." "And to dinner?"
"That's right." "And don't I let you buy me flowers and clothes, and
other gifts?"
"Yeah." "So what are you getting excited about," she assured him, "I
only use the other guys for love-making."
_____________

BUFFALO BILL

I love my car
http://www.buffaloschips.com/83108.htm

I feel good
http://www.buffaloschips.com/83109.htm

If I was a terrorist
http://www.buffaloschips.com/83110.htm
_______________

FUN PAGES

Crazy Tyre
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38554&s=n

Online Duck Hunting Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41500&s=n

Life of Pun
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41412&s=n

Microwave Chocolate
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=39816&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

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Funzines - Clean Cartoons for August 2, 2010

Funzines.net - Clean Cartoons

*****

See all my ezines at:

www.funzines.net

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Did you know you can reach me by

just hitting reply?

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*******************

Thank you, Fran..........you the best!

http://funzines.net/donations.htm

Thank you, Your Editor

Dyan

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Funzines - Clean Cartoons for August 1, 2010

Funzines.net - Clean Cartoons

*****

See all my ezines at:

www.funzines.net

*************

Did you know you can reach me by

just hitting reply?

*************

We are proud to offer the web's largest

collection of funny novelties, gag gifs, and

pranks. From the fart machines to bumper

stickers, we the web's leading retailer of fun!

http://www.prankplace.com/?KBID=2995

**************

Please Click!

Take a moment and check out this new product!

http://funzines.net/lattewraps.htm

Buy a T-Shirt from me, PLEASE!

Get a T-Shirt to match your personality!

http://tshirthell.com/store/clicks.php?partner=Dyan

Sell T-Shirts on your website:

http://tshirthell.com/affiliates/register?parent=Dyan

See the newest TShirts Here:

http://funzines.net/tshirts.htm

If you have never checked out Amazon's pricing, do so today

before you buy online and please start by using my link.

http://funzines.net/amazon.htm

NEW STUFF....TAKE A MOMENT AND CHECK IT OUT!

http://funzines.net/solutions.htm

*******************

Thank you, Fran..........you the best!

http://funzines.net/donations.htm

Thank you, Your Editor

Dyan

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[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 7-31-10

Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

As you have requested here is August's list of Bizarre Holidays.
Face it not a lot to get excited about during August, it's hot,
vacation's over, so here are some reasons to crack open a Bud or for
example on the 3rd, go get a large traditional watermelon, chill and
fill with vodka and enjoy.

8/1 Friendship Day and National Raspberry Cream Pie Day
8/2 National Ice Cream Sandwich Day
8/3 National Watermelon Day
8/4 Twins Day Festival
8/5 National Mustard Day
8/6 Wiggle Your Toes Day
8/7 Sea Serpent Day
8/8 Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night
8/9 National Polka Festival
8/10 Lazy Day
8/11 Presidential Joke Day
8/12 Middle Child's Day
8/13 Blame Someone Else Day
8/14 National Creamsicle Day
8/15 National Relaxation Day and National Failures Day
8/16 Bratwurst Festival
8/17 National Thrift shop Day
8/18 Bad Poetry Day
8/19 Potato Day
8/20 National Radio Day
8/21 National Spumoni Day
8/22 Be An Angel Day
8/23 National Sponge cake Day
8/24 Knife Day
8/25 Kiss-And-Make-Up Day
8/26 National Cherry Popsicle Day
8/27 Petroleum Day
8/28 World Sauntering Day
8/29 More Herbs, Less Salt Day
8/30 National Toasted Marshmallow Day
8/31 National Trail Mix Day

Enjoy the chips.... buffalo

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dating Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A young innocent girl is about to go on her 1st date and is given
some word of advise and warning by her mother; "Look darling, they
all want the same, so do be very careful and don't you ever let him;
1.) kiss your lips. Your lips are as soft as rose petals and will
shrivel,
2.) or touch your breast. They are like of thin crystal and can
shatter, and
3.) never ever to touch your "private" part. That one is like a
"GRILL"
and will burn everything coming to touch it."

The girl is off full of excitement and anxiety, and Mom waits and
waits until just after midnight when she's back. "How was it?" asks
mom.
"Oh mom, it was absolutely fantastic, and I think I'm in love!"
"Lets not go too fast dear. And did he tried to come too close?"
"Well, yes, he did and I did as you said and he was absolutely
careful not to hurt or harm me!" "What do you mean careful, did you
let him do something?" "Not exactly mom, see it was like that.
First he wanted to kiss me and I told him what you said, and he
stopped. Then he went to touch my breast and again I told him what
you said, and he stopped. Then he slowly went under my skirt close
to the private part, and I told him what you said, and he then took
his hands out and said; "What a coincidence, I happen to have a nice
piece of "Fillet" and would love to put it in your "Grill" to
cook!!" "WHAT?!?" screams the mother, "I knew that bastard is no
different to the others. You hopefully stopped him there too,
didn't you?" "Well, not really mom. You see, he promised to be
careful and was very careful not to "burn" his fillet. Every now
and then he took it out and had me "taste it" to see if it was
cooked or not."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

happy to see us
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a happpy meal
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the rent
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i055.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Coyote Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The city boy goes to countryside to visit his uncle. After the sun
goes down, the boy hears strange, another-world howling. He gets
frightened and runs to his uncle. "Uncle, uncle, there are
werewolves!"

"That's rubbish, boy, ain't no such thing".

"'Then, there must be man-eating wolves".

"No, we haven't got those buddies, either."

"What is this sound, then?" the boy asks.

"They are coyotes".

"Coyotes? What are those?"

"They look a lot like dogs. In fact, ya can consider them a kind of
dog." The boy wants to find out more: "Why are they making that
frightening noise?"

"See, nephew, we ain't got many trees around here. We got cactuses!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fucking Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A friend of mine recently came home from a trek across Europe. He
started in Spain, made his way through France and Italy, and took a
jaunt through Austria on his way to Germany. He was traveling along
when he came upon a town in Austria called Fucking. Folks, this is a
real town. It was supposedly founded in the sixth century by a guy
named Fucko. My buddy saw the sign and just had to stop. He ate in a
diner, washed up and went on his merry way happy to have experienced
Fucking in Austria. About a half-hour after Fucking, he got a flat
tire. He went to change it but the spare was flat as well. While
waiting for a good Samaritan to come to his rescue, he noticed that
he no longer had his passport. He realized that he must have left it
on the table in the Fucking restaurant. Finally a motorist came by
and stopped. My friend explained his predicament, but the locals
were en-route to some ancient Celtic festival and could not lend a
hand. When they told him this, my friend began to plead. "Come on,
help me out. Let's get back to Fucking, then you can leave. It's
getting late and I don't want to be on the street outside Fucking
all alone." "Sorry," was their reply, "you'd better start walking."
"Well then, excuse me," my friend said a little pissed. "I have to
get back to Fucking myself."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A foreign diplomat was sitting beside a very beautiful blonde who
possessed all the social graces. During the course of the dinner,
he put his hand under the table and started to feel her ankle. She
gave him a brilliant smile. Encouraged, he went a little further
and reached the calf of her leg with the same results. The lady
smiled and he, becoming emboldened with this encouragement, went
above the knees. Very soon, giving the diplomat a lovely smile she
leaned and whispered in his ear: "When you get far enough to
discover that I'm a man, don't change the expression on your
face-I'm Secret Agent No.
13."

Two girls were discussing their heavy smoking habits. "I get such a
yen for a cigarette," said one, "that the only effective
countermeasure is to pop a Life Saver into my mouth and suck
strongly." "That's all very well for you," huffed her friend. "But
I don't happen to live in a house that's right on the beach!"

A blonde and her girlfriend went to the beach for the day. As they
wandered up and down the shoreline in their bikinis the girl-friend
began to notice that the blonde seemed to be having some difficulty
walking. The girlfriend finally said, "Did you hurt your leg or
something? You're walking very strangely." The blonde replied, "I
have a big date tonight and I've got curlers in my hair."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Petzoom sonic pet trainer -Instantly train your cat and dog.

The Petzoom sonic pet trainer is lightweight and small, so it fits
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your bicycle, or even when you're hiking to keep other dogs and pets
safely away.

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pill Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Doctor, you've gotta help me... my wife Sharon just isn't
interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I
can give her?"

"Look, Charlie, I can't prescribe..."

"Doc, we've been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this
upset?
I'm desperate! I can't think; I can't concentrate; my life is going
utterly to Hell! You've got to help me."

The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of
pills.

"Ordinarily, I wouldn't do this. These are experimental, but the
tests so far indicate that they're VERY powerful. Don't give Sharon
more than ONE, understand?.... JUST one."

"One. No more. In her coffee. Okay?"

"Um... okay."

Charlie expresses gratitude, and departs for home, where Sharon has
dinner waiting. When dinner is finished, Sharon goes to the kitchen
to bring dessert. Charlie, in fumbling haste, pulls the pills from
his pocket and drops one into Sharon's coffee. He reflects for a
moment, hesitates, then drops in a second pill. And then he begins
to worry.
The Doc did say they were powerful.

Then an inspiration strikes: Charlie drops one pill into his own
coffee.

Sharon returns with the shortcake, and they enjoy their dessert and
coffee, our Charlie with poorly concealed anticipation. Sure
enough, a few minutes after they finish, Sharon shudders a little,
sighs deeply and heavily, and a strange smoky look enters her eyes.
In a deep, throaty, near-whisper, in a tone of voice Charlie has
never heard Sharon use before, she says, "I... need... a
man..!!!."

Charlie eyes glitter and his hands tremble as he replies,....
"Me...
too..!!!."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Moon Glow
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Insp/A/M_G.html

Angel Flight Via Virginia
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgkxiqKj0nU

This Side Of Town
http://www.poetrybyken.us/lpoems51/This%20Side%20Of%20Town.html

Carol w/A Chance At Life
http://www.carolspoetry.com/chanceatlife.html

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Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.

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Surfin Surfari

Geely Automotive- Mopeds and Volvos
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geely_Automobile

Railway Pictures Via Dianne
http://yourrailwaypictures.com/

Airline Nostalgia
http://www.funstufftosee.com/goodbye.html

Thinkers And Their Desks!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/desks.html

IRONIC, Isn't It?
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
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especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
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Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Bandwidth Meter
http://webservices.cnet.com/bandwidth/

3D Bubble Button~PSP
http://brovik.com/3dbut-tut.html

TutorGig.com~ Search
http://www.tutorgig.com/index.html

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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
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Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:

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Animal World

Doggie Zone Via Dianne
http://www.flixxy.com/dog-loves-cat.htm

Kitty Korner

Amazing Horse Trainer
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/horsetrainer.html

Shark Attack
http://animal.discovery.com/videos/untamed-and-uncut-shark-attack.ht
ml

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Movie Links

I love my car
http://www.buffaloschips.com/83108.htm

I feel good
http://www.buffaloschips.com/83109.htm

If I was a terrorist
http://www.buffaloschips.com/83110.htm

I have everything I need
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90201.htm

IKEA commercial not seen in US
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90202.htm

Bad Luck
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fasd.htm

Boogie Woogie
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fsdjlk.htm

Ford Police Chase
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfds.htm

Man Cheats DEA
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asgs.htm

Missile
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gkhjg.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ghost Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A professor at Auburn University was giving a lecture on Paranormal
Studies.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks,
'How many people here believe in ghosts?'

About 90 students raise their hands.

Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do
any of you think you have seen a ghost?'

About 40 students raise their hands.

That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has
anyone here ever talked to a ghost?'

About 15 students raise their hand.

Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?'

Three students raise their hands.

That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further...Have any
of you ever made love to a ghost?'

Way in the back, Ahmed raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses and says 'Son, all the years
I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made
love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your
experience.'

The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began
to make his way up to the podium.

When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, 'So,
Ahmed, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?'

Ahmed replied, "Well this is embarrassing. From way back there I
thought you said Goats."

Gordon

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Talkin Dirty
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32814.htm

Golf
http://www.buffaloschips.com/v15.htm

Filling A Hole
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32816.htm

Somewhere in America
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32846.htm

In bed
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32847.htm

Better Half
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32848.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the elevator car left our floor,
Big Sue caught her tits in the door;
She yelled a good deal,
But had they been real,
She'd have yelled considerably more.
______________________________

An ingenious botanist named Pace,
Grew cunts in pots at his place.
When they ripened, he'd pluck 'em
And eat them or fuck them--
They were simpler to grow than to chase.
______________________________

Breathed a tender young man from Australia,
"My darling, please let me unveilia.
And then, of, my own,
If you'll kindly lie prone;
I'll endeavor, my sweet, to impalia."
<Snagged by>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three gays were talking about their perfect reincarnation. The first
one says, "I'd love to reincarnate in a mirror and see all those
handsome men shave in the mornings."

The second gay guy says, "I wish I were underwear so I could rub my
face in their dicks and asses."

The third gay guy was thinking of something better to say, and
replied, "I'd love to an ambulance. I would love to have three or
four men stuck through my behind at a time and then run through the
streets of the city shouting, 'Ooha-ooha, ooha-ooha, ooha-ooha'."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1851

Wild Things

Ring ring ring

BJ: Hello.

Sandi in her calm voice: Dad.

BJ: Yes Sandi.

Sandi: It is Rudy.

BJ: What about Rudy?

Sandi: He has himself chained to the Freezer and to the barbqueue.
He has his apron on and cooking utinsels and says he will fight to
the
death to protect his food supply.

BJ: Sandi has any one threatened his food?

Sandi: Well he heard Miss Tami say he should not have any food
outside.

BJ: How do you feel about that?

Sandi: Doesn't make me any difference. I just finished my kill.

BJ: What did you kill.

Sandi: A 10 point buck. Hmm tasted so good.

The herd in Guthrie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner!

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!

"Leaders are made, they are not born.
They are made by hard effort,
which is the price which all of us must pay
to achieve any goal that is worthwhile."

~Vince Lombardi

________________

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I am a pretty happy camper. It does not take one
long to look at me to surmise that I enjoy a good
buffet. Yep, the bulge in my belly makes it apparent
that I happen to enjoy what I eat. And unfortunately,
one of my favorite all you can eat restaurants closed
on this side of town about a year ago. That used to mean
about a fifteen minutes drive to find a decent spot to stuff
my face. However, recently, the new Golden Corral opened
just a couple minutes away from me. Lunch was pretty good,
and yep, just as their ad says, for around 10 bux, I enjoyed
myself today. Ham, chicken, mac and cheese, icecream,
corn on the cob, potato salad, watermelon. need I say more?
I spent most of the afternoon digesting and I
took an old John Grisham novel with me.
Remember his read, "The Last Juror"? Some how it was one
that I'd not read. So, I spent the afternoon burping up lotsa
digested food, turning pages, and sucking down caffein
and sugar. Cindy, the waitress
or do you call those folks wait staff now?
is a very nice young lady. And when she saw
that walking over to the food tables was a bit of a
challenge for me, she was very helpful.
When you can have a relaxing afternoon kickin back with a
good book, and a perky young blond thing who brings you
a glass of mountain dew anytime you want it, what more
could you need for happiness? it was a good day

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Martin aka the postman

_________________

THE COMICS

the abduction
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i050.html

part time job
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i051.html

I hit the lottery
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i052.html

happy to see us
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i053.html

a happpy meal
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i054.html

the rent
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i055.html

she was shocked
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i056.html

place the blame
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i057.html

bless you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i058.html

warning signs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i059.html
___________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

the condom song
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100137.html

size matters
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100138.html

honk honk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies10039.html

oops
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100140.html

reverse bunge jumpin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100141.html

the whale and the boat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100142.html
______________

POWER POINT DISPLAYS

my dear friend
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd286.html

the invasion
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd287.html

body art
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd289.html
_______________

Women's One Liners

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
A hard-on does not count as personal growth.
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
Do I look like a fricking people person?
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
If I want to hear the patter of little feet, I'll put
shoes on my cat.It's not the size that counts, it's the,
umm, actually it is the size.
Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
See no evil, hear no evil, and date no evil.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
____________

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary.
Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town.
A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of
their long and happy marriage."Well, it dates back to our
honeymoon," explained the lady. "We visited the Grand Canyon
and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule.
We hadn't gone too far when my husband's mule stumbled.
My husband quietly said 'That's once.'
We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again.
Once more my husband quietly said, 'That's twice.'
We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time.
My husband took a pistol from his pocket and shot him.
I started to protest over his treatment of the mule when he
looked at me and quietly said... 'That's once.'"
_______________

Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine
spring day in his new Ballina Head parish. He walked to the
window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful
day outside. He then noticed there was a donkey lying dead
in the middle of his front lawn. Not knowing who else to call,
he promptly called the local police station. The conversation
went like this, "'Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones.
How might I help you .... ?"
"And the best of the day ter yer good self. This is Father
O'Malley at St. Francis Xavier Catholic Church. There's a
donkey lying dead right in der middle of me front lawn."
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied
with a smirk, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that
you people took care of the last rites .... !"
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment and then
Father O'Malley replied, "Ah, to be sure, that is true; but we
are also obliged to notify the next of kin ..... !"
_____________

A senior citizen goes to his doctor and says, "Doctor, I have
sex only once a week."
The doctor asks, "How old are you?"
The patient replies "Seventy-five."
"Wait now. You're 75 and have sex once a week. I think that's
wonderful. What are you complaining about?"
"My neighbor is almost eighty years old, and he says he has
sex three times a week, every week," he groaned.
The doctor smiled and said, "I can easily solve your problem.
From now on, you say the same thing."
______________

A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and
was asking his students if they were familiar with them.
"Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'come fly the
friendly skies'?" Joe answered the correct airline.
"Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't
leave home without it?"
Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty.
"Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, 'Just do it'?"
And John answered, "Mom...."
__________

Three priests died and came up to St. Peter at the Pearly
Gates. St. Peter looked up the priests and informed them there
had been a mistake; they were not supposed to die for another
10 years or so. The priests were upset about this and asked St.
Peter what could be done. St. Peter said that he would send them
back to earth in any form they wanted until the problem was fixed.
St Peter asks the first priest, " What do you want to become?"
and the first priest replies," I always wanted to be an eagle and
see all of God's creation from above."
"Done." St. Peter snaps his fingers and the first priest disappears.
St. Peter asks the second priest, "What do you want to become?"
and the second priest replies, "I always wanted to be a dolphin
and see all of God's creation from under the sea."
"Done." St Peter snaps his fingers and the second priest disappears
like the first.
St. Peter asks the third priest, "What do you want to become?""
and the third priest shyly says, ""Well... my wish is kind of sinful."
"No matter. You can choose any form you want." St. Peter says and
the third priest replies, "Well, I always wanted to be a...stud, you know?"
St .Peter replies, "I don't see a problem with that." St. Peter snaps
his fingers and the third priest disappears.
Later, Jesus asked St. Peter, " I heard there was a problem with
three priests being here before their time. Where are they?"
St. Peter explained, "One is soaring high above the Grand Canyon.
The second is swimming in the North Atlantic. The third is on the
left rear tire of a Chevy Blazer."
___________