Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
June is one of those months where there isn't much happening
as far as established reasons to party except for Father's Day
and weddings. Here's the list to get you through the rest of the
month.
1 Dare Day
2 National Bubba Day
3 Repeat Day
4 Applesauce Cake Day
4 Hug Your Cat Day
4 Old Maid's Day
5 World Environment Day
6 National Doughnut Day
6 National Gardening Exercise Day
6 National Yo-Yo Day
7 National Chocolate Ice Cream Day
8 Best Friends Day
8 Name Your Poison Day
9 Donald Duck Day
10 Iced Tea Day
11 Hug Holiday
12 Red Rose Day
13 Blame Someone Else Day
13 Sewing Machine Day
14 Flag Day
15 Smile Power Day
16 Fresh Veggies Day
17 Eat Your Vegetables Day
17 World Juggler's Day
18 Go Fishing Day
18 International Panic Day
18 National Splurge Day
19 World Sauntering Day
20 Ice Cream Soda Day
21 Summer Solstice
21 Go Skate Day
21 National Hollerin' Contest Day
22 National Chocolate Eclair Day
23 National Columnists Day
23 National Pink Day
23 Take Your Dog to Work Day
24 Swim a Lap Day
25 Log Cabin Day
25 National Catfish Day
26 Beautician's Day
26 Forgiveness Day
27 Paul Bunyan Day
27 Sun Glasses Day
28 Insurance Awareness Day
29 Camera Day
29 Waffle Iron Day
30 Meteor Day
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Mob Chips
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Sex - The Mob Way
Other than the rule about certain sexual acts being unmanly, the #1
rule
about having sex is pretty simple: -- Your partner should be alive
and,
at
least 50% of the time, awake.
Do You Have What It Takes To Be A Mob Lover?
1. During sex you usually
a. Scream out your partners name
b. Plead the Fifth Amendment
c. Scream out your own name
2. Sex is best
a. With the lights on
b. With the lights off
c. With the dashboard lights on
3. If your partner pulls a Nelson Rockefeller and dies while in the
saddle,
your immediate reaction is to
a. Scream and roll off
b. Call 911
c. Finish
4. Your lover suggests something innovative, like handcuffs. Your
reaction
is to:
a. Try it, you might like it
b. Announce politely that handcuffs are not your thing
c. Wonder how you can use the TV remote during sex if you are
handcuffed
5. Your partners are usually
a. Blonde
b. Brunette
c. Inflatable
6. After sex you
a. Think about how long until you can make love again
b. Hang up on the phone sex operator
c. Thank the priest
__________________________________________
Give yourself 3 points for every time you answered "a"
Give yourself 1 point for every time you answered "b"
If you answered "c" more than twice, just kill yourself, because you
are
a
sick loser.
Scoring
12-18 points: Last of the red hot mob lovers.
10-11 points: A good mob lover
7-9 points: You're no Johnny Stompanato; if you're planning to stay
in
the
mob, you better carry a rolled up sock in your pants.
4-6 points: If you make love like this, you shouldn't be in the mob,
you
should be in a cemetery.
0-5 points: Forget the mob, just go to a Star Trek convention
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
the canary
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tragic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c018.html
help mom and dad
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Produce Chips
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Three old ladies were sitting side by side in
their retirement home reminiscing. The first
lady recalled shopping at the green grocers
and demonstrated with her hands, the length
and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for
a penny.
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions
used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and
demonstrated the size of two big onions she
could buy for a penny a piece.
The third old lady remarked, "I can't hear a word
you're saying, but I remember the guy you're
talking about."
Randy
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Viagra Chips
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A man goes to his doctor and tells him that he is
having a hard time achieving an orgasm so the
doctor gives him VIAGRA. Then he gives him a
new drug that just came on the market, The patient
says isn't the VIAGRA enough? And the doctor says
The VIAGRA will give you an erection but the new drug
NIAGARA will make you come like a waterfall!!!!!
Amy
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Band Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A band at an Italian wedding decided to take requests. Nunzio walks
up and asks "Uh, do youse guys know da song "Strangers in da Night"?
The band leader says, "Sure we know that one."
Nunzio says "Hey! dat's great! But I got just one favor- could
youse play it in 5/4 time?"
"Isn't it played in 4/4 time?" the band leader asked.
"Yeah, but dis here's a special occasion, know whut I mean?"
The band discusses amongst themselves, till the leader turns and
says "I don't think we'll have any problems."
Nunzio turns and yells out "Hey Uncle Vinnie! C'mon up here and
sing!"
Uncle Vinnie walks up to the mike as the band begins the intro, and
then starts to sing, "Strangers in da fuckin' night..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Motel Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A salesman is visiting Hollywood California and checks
into a local motel. As he was checking out the next morning, the
desk clerk noticed that he looked a bit frazzled. He asked "Sir was
everything O.K. with your room?"
He angrily replies "Was everything O.K.!!! l get woke up at 2:00 in
the morning with this huge cowboy sitting on my chest holding a
pistol to my head who tells me if l don't suck his dick he's gonna
blow my fucking head off!" The desk clerk is shocked and asks,
"What did you do?"
The salesman's reply, "Did you hear any shootin'?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/In Dreams
http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Stories/InDreams.html
carolyn w/ Children Go Where I Send Thee
http://tiny.cc/2uinm
Rick w/ Thy Will Be Done (New Page)
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Cruise_2000/ra/ThyWill.html
Carol w/Because of You
http://www.carolspoetry.com/because.html
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Surfin Surfari
SI.com - Swimsuit Collection
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WWI Human Art!
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Military WWII Posters
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Military Motivational Posters
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Liberty Air Show
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Text Messaging Lingo Translator
http://www.lgdtxtr.com/
Thunderbird 3
http://www.mozillamessaging.com/en-US/thunderbird/
Video DownloadHelper
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/3006
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Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Links
Mum
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kakaoo.htm
My New Country Song
http://www.buffaloschips.com/oqqooq.htm
Never Smash A WD-40 Can
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kajasoa.htm
New At Canadian Tire
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New From Glade
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Don't Eat While Driving
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Energy Star
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Exam
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Future Engineers
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Glock Home Protection
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Greeting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GREETING CARDS UNSUCCESSFULLY MARKETED BY HALLMARK
------------------------------------------------------
1. Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy! 'Cause when I got one... I
got real snippy.
2. I heard you had herpes...and I feel terrible...I'd say "Get well
soon"...but I know it's incurable.
3. My tire was thumping....I thought it was flat....when I looked at
the tire....I found your cat... Sorry!
4. You had your bladder removed and you're on the mends.... here's a
bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends.
5. You've announced that you're gay, and won't that be a laugh, when
they find out you're one... of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
6. So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day... look at
the bright side, she's a really good lay.
7. Heard your wife left you... How upset you must be...Don't fret
about your wife though... She's moving in with me.
8. Your computer is dead... and it was so alive... you shouldn't
have installed... Win'95.
9. You totalled your car... and can't remember why... maybe it
was... that case of Bud Dry
10. So you lost your job... It's one of those hardships in life...
Next time, work harder... and stay away from the boss's wife.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
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candle new scent
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candy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjbkgvhg.htm
cane
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can man
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can opener
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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This Father's Day Mark Dad's territory with our collection of
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poetry Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Salty, fishy, sticky stuff,
Okay already, that's enough.
Let's switch you say, before you gag,
And what revenge, you're on the rag!
Eating out and chowing down,
but tonight I'm not out on the town.
Tonight I'm served a seafood dish,
well at the least it tastes like fish.
Time to overcome my fears,
as she drags me down there by my ears,
to feast upon her hairy pie,
where pubes and stubble jab my eye.
She lies back and moans and then softly sighs,
I cant help thinking about scampi & fries.
Don't lick too low, move up a bit,
got to be careful or I'm in the shit.
Nibble, lick, caress and stroke,
the things I do just for a poke.
Up, down and right a bit,
where the hell does she keep her clit?
I'll never find it here like this,
fanny design just takes the piss.
To find my way around her twat,
I'll need a torch and miners hat.
I think my tongue is failing me,
Christ I hope she doesn't pee.
I've been licking her minge for years.
I wish I could breathe through my ears.
God I hope that she comes quick,
since my neck's developing a crick.
I'm sweating like I've got a fever,
under the covers, eating split beaver,
I must have hit the right spot at last,
cos' her screams are gaining volume fast,
her thighs clamp tight around my head,
and her screams scare the neighbours out of their bed.
She's coming at last and making a racket,
her thighs crushing my head like a discarded fag packet.
I'm choking and spluttering but she doesn't care,
that my mouth is full of fish flavoured hair.
And that my face is smothered in thick fanny batter
and juices that taste like a seafood platter.
But she thinks it's funny, and starts taking the piss,
but she soon stops her laughing, when I move in for a kiss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a
pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution, bored
out of their minds. "How about having sex with a cat?" asked the
zoophile. "Lets have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the
sadist. "Lets have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it,"
shouted the murderer. "Lets have sex with the cat, torture it, kill
it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile. "Lets have
sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and
then burn it," said the pyromaniac. The room went silent, then
everyone turned to the masochist and asked: "So, what's it gonna
be?" The masochist says "Meow."
I had just finished delivering the mail when the resident of
Apartment 16 can running after me angrily waving an envelope in the
air. He said, "Look at this letter. It is addressed to 'Animal
Lover!'" I said, "So?" "So? How in hell do these people know about
my sexual preferences?"
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1803
Mommy Comes Home
BJ arrives home with Diana the next evening. The dogs swarm all
over
her.
Rudy: This is a fine thing to do mom.
Diana: You called me mom...
Sandi: We missed you. Are you okay?
Diana: I am fine. I feel perfect.
Rudy: Then how about rustling up some grub for us?
Katie: Rutherford!
Rudy: I was just kidding...
Val: Where did you go?
Diana: To a hospital. I found out I was allergic to some new
medicine.
It made me very ill.
Rudy: Ill I say, heck it made my feet hurt.
Diana: What do you mean?
BJ: He was so nervous he broke down a door. Actually two doors.
The herd in Guthrie
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Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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