THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
By nature all men are equal in liberty,
but not in other endowments.
Saint Thomas Aquinas
Good morning postman fans!
Altho it has been nearly a year
since I purchased the Crown Victoria,
I finally took it in for its second
oil change. Not that I have been neglecting
it, I just now only turned over 3000 miles
on the car. That's what happens when you
have no where to go, and most of the time,
you get there on a motorcycle. Anyways, it
had a low tire, and needed bug juice for the
window, and it was time anyway. I do not
especially care for doing such chores myself
these days, and I find it simply easier to
pay a few bux and let someone else worry about
it. For whatever reason, instead of going to
the quick lube place on the corner like usual,
I drove up to the Ford dealer instead. Probably
not something I would do in years past either, but
I figger they need all the help they can get.,,
So, I support my local dealer whenever I get a
chance these days. It was a nice choice,
I discovered they charge five bux less than the
instant oil place. Support your local car dealer
its a good thing to do.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________
THE COMICS
wandering
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d040.html
a menace to society
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d041.html
my father
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d043.html
I forgot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d044.html
sorry Mr. Huggs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d045.html
forget it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d046.html
universe tours
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d047.html
the honey moon
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d048.html
money
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d049.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Kung Fu Bear
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9791.html
Shuttin Detroit Down
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9792.html
Here's to the Heroes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9793.html
Eli the accountant
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9794.html
drop the coffin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9795.html
I'm too sexy-wav file
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9796.html
Tyrone goes shoppin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9797.html
______________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
my last email
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd172.html
Italy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd173.html
photos by National Geographic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd174.html
God won't ask
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd175.html
A man owned a small farm in Ireland . The Irish Internal
Revenue Determined he was not paying proper wages to
his staff and sent an Investigator out to interview him.
"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay
them!" demanded The investigator. "Well," replied the
farmer, "there's my farm hand who's been with me For
three years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and
board. "The cook has been here for 18 months, and I
pay her $150 per week Plus free room and board. "Then
there's the halfwit. He works about 18 hours every
day and does About 90% o f all the work around here.
He makes about $10 a week. He pays his own room and
board, and I buy him a bottle of whiskey Every Saturday
night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."
"That's the guy I want to talk to...the halfwit!"
said the agent. "That would be me," replied the farmer.
_______________
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her
new husband and asked for $5.00 for their first lovemaking
encounter. In his highly aroused state her husband readily
agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made
love, for the next 30 years, with him thinking that it was
a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other
incidentals that she needed. Arriving home around noon one
day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very
drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained
that his employer was going through a process of corporate
downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that
at the age of 55, he'd be able to find another position
that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore,
they were financially ruined. Calmly, his wife handed him a
box containing neatly bound stacks of cash -- 5, 10, 20, 50
and 100 dollar bills. When he counted through the money, he
realized they had nearly $1 million. She explained that for
the 30 years of their marriage she had saved the money she
collected for each sexual encounter, and this was the
result of her efforts. Faced with evidence of cash worth
nearly $1 million, her husband was so astounded he could
barely speak. Then he suddenly realized something, regained
his voice, and asked his wife quietly, "I don't remember ever
giving you any 20, 50, or 100 dollars bills, where did they
come from? " His wife looked him straight in the eye and said,
"Not everyone was as cheap as your sorry ass! "
___________________
.
These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The
comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:
1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you
just went through."
2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch after you wear them a while."
3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document."
4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because
that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means
I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't
think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do
that again or I'll give you another ticket."
9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you
are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place
where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs
and step in monkey poop."
11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife
gets a toaster oven."
12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."
( National Crime Information Center )
13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but
now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal
friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
You're right, we don't.. Sign here."
___________
A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks
a bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle
comes a genie. The Russian is stunned and the Genie says,
"Hello Master, I will grant you one wish, anything that
you want." The Russian begins thinking, "Well I really like
drinking vodka." Finally the Russian says, "I wish to drink
vodka whenever I want, so make me piss vodka." The Genie
grants him his wish. When the Russian gets home he gets a glass
out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He looks at the glass
and it's clear. Looks like vodka. Then he smells the liquid.
Smells like vodka. So he takes a test and it is the best vodka
that he has ever tasted. The Russian yells to his wife,
"Natasha, Natasha, come quickly." She comes running down the
hall and the Russian takes another glass out of the cupboard
and pisses into it. He tells her to drink, that it is vodka.
Natasha is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the
best vodka that she has ever tasted. The two drink and party
all night. The next night the Russian comes home from work and
tells his wife to get two glasses out of the cupboard. He
proceeds to piss in the two glasses. The result is the same,
the vodka is excellent and the couple drink until the sun
comes up. Finally, Friday night comes and the Russian tells his
wife to grab one glass from the cupboard and we will drink vodka.
She gets the glass but asks him "Boris, why do we only need one glass?"
Boris raises the glass and says, "Because tonight my love, you
drink from the bottle."
____________
A stock analyst and a Wall Street broker went to the race track.
The broker suggested betting $12,000 on a certain horse. The
analyst was skeptical; he had never been to the races before and
wanted to understand the rules and look over all the horses before
placing a wager.
"You're too cautious and detail oriented," the broker criticized as he
placed his large bet. His horse won and he raked in a bundle of money.
"What's your secret?" the analyst asked.
"It's simple," the broker explained. "I have two kids... ages two and six...
so I add their ages together and bet on number nine."
"But two and six is eight, not nine!" protested the analyst.
"See!" the broker replied, "I told you you're too cautious and detail-oriented. "
BUFFALO BILL
Very sexy girl from the musical Africa
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7802.htm
Viagra
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7803.htm
Vichy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7804.htm
__________
FUN PAGES
Feeding Frenzy
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41714&s=n
Fishin Fever
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41580&s=n
Jessica Alba's Got Milk Photo
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=20498&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
No comments:
Post a Comment