Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Yesterday I was getting ready to run to the store and Eva was
watching children's videos and was in the middle of Little
Red Riding Hood so I paused the video and told her my
version ending with the wolf saying, " All the better to eat you
with." and Red pulling a .44 magnum from her basket and
shooting the wolf in the head three times.
Eva absorbed my story and then said, "Then the vampires
ate the wolf." I told her that only works with werewolves, and
then only in those stupid Twilight movies your mom watches."
What comes next, monsters in Mother Goose?
There was an old lady
who lived in a shoe
She had so many zombies
She didn't know what to do
She waited behind the door
with Boots the cat
and crushed their heads
with a baseball bat
Yeah I know, Bad Grandpa, I hear it all the time heh heh.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Poetry Chips
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My nookie days are over
My pilot light is out
What used to be my sex appeal
Is now my water spout.
Time was when, on its own accord
From my trousers it would spring
But now I've got a full-time job
To find the blasted thing.
It used to be embarrassing
The way it would behave
For every single morning
It would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches
It sure gives me the blues
To see it hang its little head
And watch me tie my shoes.
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18 years
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a letter
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Gesundheit
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Gesundheit Fish
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Gesundheit Turtle
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Short Chips
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Two guys were walking down the street one day when they
came across a small pair of gym shorts on the ground.
They decided to put a sign up on the church bulletin board so the
rightful owner could claim them.
The first one starts to write out the sign, "FOUND: one pair of
boys gym shorts..."
"Hold on," says the second, "Those are girls gym shorts."
"No they're not," says the first, "They're boys shorts!"
The second grabs them from him and takes a closer look, "No, no
... Definitely girls gym shorts!"
The two of them are inspecting the shorts in turns and arguing.
"Boys shorts!", "No, girls shorts!", "Definitely boys shorts!"
.... and so on.
The local priest is walking past as the two men argue and can't
help but ask them what the commotion is all about.
The first guy tells the priest, and asks him if he could
sort out the argument.
The priest takes the shorts, has a good long sniff, and after
pondering for a few moments he looks at the two men and says:
"Definitely boys shorts!......... but not from my parish!"
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Deaf Chips
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Once upon a time there were two deaf mutes standing on a street
corner talking to each other with sign language.
Mute #1 (SIGN) "What would you like to do?"
Mute #2 (SIGN) "I don't know, what about you?"
Mute #1 (SIGN) "Let's get my car, find some girls, drive to a
dark space and have some fun."
Mute #2 (SIGN) "Good idea."
So they get his car, find some girls, drive to a dark spot and
are having a ball when the guy in the back seat taps the guy in
the front seat on the shoulder...
Front Seat Mute (SIGN) "What?"
Back Seat Mute (SIGN) "Have you got any protection?"
Front Seat Mute (SIGN) "No. Don't you?"
Back Seat Mute (SIGN) "No. We had better go to a drug store and
get some."
They precede to drive to a drug store and the man in the back
seat gets out and goes inside. In two minutes he is back outside
and taps on the car window.
Inside Mute (SIGN) "What?"
Outside Mute (SIGN) "I've got a problem."
Inside Mute (SIGN) "What?"
Outside Mute (SIGN) "I can't make the druggist understand what I
want."
Inside Mute (SIGN) "I know What to do."
Outside Mute (SIGN) "What?"
Inside Mute (SIGN) "Go back inside. Put five dollars on the
counter. Put your pecker on the counter. He'll know what you
want."
Outside Mute (SIGN) "Good idea."
The man goes back into the drug store and two minutes later he's
back at the car window.
Inside Mute (SIGN) "Well?"
Outside Mute (SIGN) "It didn't work."
Inside Mute (SIGN) "What do you mean?"
Outside Mute (SIGN) "I did what you told me to do. I went inside.
I put 5 dollars on the counter. I put my pecker on the counter.
He put his on the counter. It was bigger than mine. He took my 5
dollars."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Gorilla Chips
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It was a warm, sunny Sunday, so a man and his wife decided to take
in the zoo. They spent the day and at closing time they walked past
the gorilla cage and the man noticed the gorilla looking at his
wife.
"That gorilla is getting excited just looking at your boobs," he
said.
"Why don't you take your blouse off and we'll see what he does?"
At first she declined but finally persuaded by her husband, she took
off her blouse and bra. The gorilla went nuts. He started grunting
and jumping up and down.
"Hey," the husband said, "let's really blow his mind. Take off all
your clothes and we'll see what he does." Again she said no and
again he persuaded her.
This time the ape really went bananas! He climbed up and down the
bars, did flips, ran around in circles and tossed his food all over
the cage.
The husband went over to the cage, opened the door and pushed his
wife in.
"Now," said the husband with an evil smile, "tell *HIM*, you have a
headache!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Limerick Chips
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When I was a baby, my penis
Was as white as the buttocks of Venus
But now, it's as red
As her nipples instead
All because of the menstrual genus!
___________________________
We know cunnilingus is grand,
But what I cannot understand,
Who was the first guy,
To give it a try...?
I think we should give him a hand!
<Snagged by>
Ross
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/He's In Love
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/R/HesInLove.html
Presence Of Jehovah
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Walk Slower
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Old Barns, Old People, Old Friends!
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Strange Hotels
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Surfin Surfari Via Shangy
Mike Hukabee's: Oil Spill Solutions
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Bugs Up Close
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Facts For Kids
http://www.factmonster.com/
I Wish You Enough Site
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
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Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
ScreenGrab Screen Capture Utility
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GIMP~Gnu Image Manipulation Program
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Best Animations
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Links
Tricky Chick
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Vizella
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Water park
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Well Trained Dog
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We've Been Had
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Hand Boeienin Bed
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Hill Climb
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Honey
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How The Brits Taxi Jets
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Idiots
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Memory Chips
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Three geezers are sitting on a porch in Miami Beach. Suddenly the
first sighs and says, "Gentlemen, isn't life horrible. Here I am at
an age that I can afford the best steaks and what? Bad teeth and
gums. I have to eat ground or soft foods."
The second answers, "Yeah, life is a real bummer. Why here I am at
an age where I can buy the finest wines, champagne but what?
Ulcers, I have to drink milk."
The third sighs loudly and adds, "Gentlemen, I know exactly what you
mean. Last night at 2 am I nudged my wife and asked her if she's
interested. She screams at me, "What is wrong with you Sam? We
just got finished doing it for the second time tonight!"
After a long pause the first man says, "So what is your problem?"
The third one grunts and says, "Can't you see? My memory is going."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
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batgirl
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bmw
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bmw incentive
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boat
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Bobbitt
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body language
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Goblin Chips
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One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she
notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.
"You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three
wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square,
what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second,
"I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got
it.".
Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK,
you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The
goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come
true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's
what it takes..."
Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.
"Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies
"Fuck me", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ex-President Bush had a brain scan. When he asked about the results
he was told, "Well, Mr. President, bad news. We found there were two
sides to your brain." "What's strange about that? Doesn't everyone
have two sides to their brain?" "That's true Mr. President, but in
your case, on the left side we didn't find anything right and on the
right side we didn't find anything left."
Wesley
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1821
Racing With the Stars
Sandi in her cool calm voice: It appears that Tami and Sandi are
drinking all their fluids at a rapid pace. This is quite unusual
for this
early in the race. They seem to be almost dancing rather than
running.
Most peculiar. Katie is waving something above her head. It is her
sports bra... oh dear! Rudy has rushed out and gave her a t-shirt.
Tami is giggling... What was in their drinks? Tami is still doing
well
at tenth place but who knows if she can focus.
Tami: I NEED MORE ORANGE JUICE!!!!!!
BJ: We are working on it Tami.
Tami: I HAVE TO HAVE IT NOW!!!!
Val: Here you go.
Tami: Thanks girlie, you are the bestest (hickup).
Rudy running beside her: You had best eat some of these nutrient
bars
while you drink that.
Tami: Let me pour some of this amazing OJ on the bar first. Yahoo!
Rudy: Oh dear what will happened to her Pops?
BJ: Crash and burn maybe after the race or during. Look at Katie.
Katie is kissing other runners as she passes them.
To be continued
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Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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