THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
If everyone is thinking alike,
then somebody isn't thinking.
George S. Patton
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I have discovered several basic truths about life....
1. NO matter how hard you try You cannot stick your
tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time.
2. All idiots, after reading #1 will try it.
3. And discover #1 is a lie.
4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot.
Don't you love the neat stuff you can learn from
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER? :)
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
THE COMICS
don't want to
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d100.html
cement
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d101.html
going to bed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d102.html
a runaway
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d103.html
I lost one...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d104.html
3 little pigs?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d105.html
just like you wanted mommy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d106.html
If I had sex
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d107.html
a presccription
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d108.html
over exerting
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d109.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Jeanne Robertson "Don't send a man to the grocery store!"
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9829.html
girl on a bike
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9830.html
the last rolo
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9831.html
mind control
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9832.html
tap dancing duck
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9833.html
tight garage
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9834.html
_____________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
Galveston Island
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd192.html
a failed artist
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd193.html
A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to
celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man
leans forward and says softly to his wife, "Dear, there
is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered
me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest
of our children. Now I want to assure you that these 75
years have been the most wonderful experience I could
have ever hoped for, and your answer can not take all
that away. But... I must know, did he have a different father?"
The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye,
she paused for moment and then confessed. "Yes. Yes he did."
The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife was
admitting hit him harder than he had expected. With a tear in
his eye he asks,"Who? Who was he? Who was the father?"
Again the old woman drops her head, saying nothing at first
as she tried to muster the courage to tell the truth to her
husband. Then, finally, she says, "You."
___________
A man was sitting at a bar, morosely staring at his untouched
beer. The bartender walked over with a sigh, and asked
"What's the problem, pal?""My brother just told me that
there's a sperm bank in his neighborhood that pays $40 for a
donation!" said the dejected gent. "Yeah, so?" replied the
barkeep. "Don't you get it?" the man cried out. "I've already
let a fortune slip through my fingers!"
_________
Little Johnny was talking to his father about Suzy. "She sure
is pretty, I wish I knew how to get her to pay attention to me,"
he said. "She never says anything to me, I don't think she knows
I'm alive.""Well," his father responded, "the best way to get
her attention is to go up to her and pay her a compliment. Try
saying something nice about her clothing, and she will remember
you fondly. Ask her where she got it, that is a sure bet to
start a conversation with a pretty girl."
The next day Little Johnny saw Suzy on the playground.
"Hey Suzy," he said, "That is sure a pretty sweater you are
wearing. Where'd you get one with the knobs on it?"
Without blinking an eye she replied, "The same place you got
your pants with the gear shift."
___________
A member of the Country Club asked the lifeguard how he might go
about teaching a young lady to swim.
"It takes considerable time and technique," replied the guard
with a wink. "First you must take her into the water, stand very
close behind her then place one arm about her waist, hold her
tightly, then take her right arm and raise it very slowly..."
"This is certainly most helpful." interrupted the member. "I know
that my sister will appreciate it."
"Your sister?" said the lifeguard. "In that case, just push her
into the deep end of the pool. She'll learn in a hurry."
________________
A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed.
"Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this."
"What's the problem?" the doctor inquired.
"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies.
No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."
"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work
on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run
to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person,
a fun person, an attractive person. But say it with real conviction.
Within a week you'll have women buzzing all around you."
The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the
office a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the
same downtrodden expression on his face. "Did my advice not work?"
asked the doctor."It worked alright. For the past several weeks
I've enjoyed some of the best moments in my life with the most
fabulous looking women."
"So, what's your problem?"
"I don't have a problem," the man replied. "My wife does."
________________
After a preacher died and went to Heaven, he noticed that a New
York cab driver had been awarded a higher place than him.
"I don't understand," he complained to Saint Peter: "I devoted
my entire life to my congregation."
"Our policy here in Heaven is to reward results," Saint Peter
explained: "Now, was your congregation well attuned to you
whenever you gave a sermon?"
"Well," the minister had to admit: "some in the congregation
fell asleep from time to time."
"Exactly," said Saint Peter: "And when people rode in this man's
taxi, they not only stayed awake but even prayed."
Buffalo Bill
Why Women Live Longer Than Men
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72105.htm
Willie You Don't Think I'm Funny Anymore
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72202.htm
Women Drivers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72201.htm
______
Fun Pages
Fashion Dash
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41711&s=n
Kung Fu Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41535&s=n
Crazy Tyre
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38554&s=n
That's all folks
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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