THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Guns don't kill people...
but they make it real easy
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Good morning postman fans!
Commissioners to discuss city chickens
A proposed rule change on tap
Updated: Friday, 18 Jun 2010, 9:53 AM EDT
Published : Friday, 18 Jun 2010, 9:53 AM EDT
By Joe LaFurgey
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. (WOOD) - Egg lovers may soon be able
to legally raise hens in the city of Grand Rapids.
City commissioners are set to discuss an ordinance that
would allow homeowners in the city to raise up to five hens
without a permit. Roosters would be prohibited, as would the
slaughter of the chickens.
This is kindof interesting. Last year it became legal for
residents of our city to grow pot plants. This came about
when the state of Michigan passed a medical murijuanna law
similar to California's. Go to the doc, tell him you have
glaucoma, and you are one your way. From several "stoner"
friends, I hear its fairly easy to do. The city passed an
ordinance stating that they cannot have more than 12 plants
on any given property. Now this is interesting. Right now,
as it stands in our fair city, you can grow pot, but its
currently illegal to raise chickens. Go figger
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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Dear Friend,
I am writing to ask your help in locating my missing wife.
We were on a wonderful trip to Africa for our honeymoon s
everal months ago. Somehow, when my wife went to the restroom
at the airport, we became separated. I have contacted local
and international police to assist me in locating her.
To date, all of our attempts to find her have been unsuccessful.
I am now desperate to find my lost love. I am trying to use
the Internet to locate her. Please forward this to everyone
you know so I can spread the word and hopefully
locate my missing wife.
Mr. Adam Small
Portland , Oregon , USA
After a few weeks search...the reply...
Dear Mr. Small,
We have found your wife in a small village in
Africa of all places.
However, it is unknown how she got here.
She is unable to talk because of lockjaw and seems to
have a small problem walking.
She insists she is fine and has no desire to return home.
I have enclosed a picture for you to see so that
you know that she is okay.
Chief Pomagaro
Nairobi Police Department
_______________
THE COMICS
rescue
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d050.html
addicted
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d051.html
oh hell no
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d052.html
geek leek
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d053.html
book chat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d054.html
voted Obama?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d056.html
BP
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d057.html
sprinkles
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d058.html
pizza
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d059.html
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Best Emmy Moment Ever
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9798.html
BP-on the bayou
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9799.html
biker baby
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9800.html
breast enlargement
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9801.html
play it nice and cool
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9802.html
hockey
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9803.html
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POWER POINT DISPLAYS
just water
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd176.html
bears
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd177.html
Africa
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd178.html
prewar cars
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd179.html
______________
In one little whorehouse I've been
I sampled the charms of Maureen
Affection I sought
But something I caught
Was turning my gonads to green
__________
Judi, the blonde, runs crying into the office.
"What's wrong?" gasps her best friend Carol.
"It's my boyfriend," gushes Judi. "He was working on
the engine under the hood of his car when the lid
came down and cut off a finger!"
"My god," shrieks Carol. "Did it chop off his WHOLE finger!?"
"No thank goodness," sniffs Judi.
"But it was the one just next to it!"
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I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female
driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck,
causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to
avoid hitting her.This evidently angered the driver
enough that he hung his arm out his window and gave the
woman the finger.'Man, that guy is stupid,'
I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a
sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in
traffic, and here's why:
I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.
That's 96 miles each day.
Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper
Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.
There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.
That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper,
I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.
That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars
that I pass every day.
Statistically, females drive half of these.
That's 18,000 women drivers!
In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.
That's 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love
life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.
That's 449.
According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of
all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide.
That's 98.
And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.
That's 33.
According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all
females carry weapons and this number is increasing.That
means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one
female who has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest
problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide,
has PMS, and is armed.
Give her the finger?
Don't think so.
_______________
A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed.
"Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this."
"What's the problem?" the doctor inquired.
"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the
ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."
"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work
on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and
run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good
person, a fun person, an attractive person. But say it with
real conviction. Within a week you'll have women buzzing all
around you." The man seemed content with this advice and walked
out of the office a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned
with the same downtrodden expression on his face. "Did my
advice not work?" asked the doctor.
"It worked alright. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed
some of the best moments in my life with the most fabulous
looking women." "So, what's your problem?"
"I don't have a problem," the man replied. "My wife does."
_____________
Alex was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in
the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen. One
night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching football
(soccer), she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the TV.
"Hey," Alex shouted, "what do you think you are doing?"
"I'm sick of sports, I'm sick of TV," she replied. "You haven't
touched me in months. We're going to talk about sex right now!"
"OK, OK. So," he asked after a moment,
"how often do you think Beckham gets laid?"
__________
What Is a Man?
A real man is a woman's best friend. He will never stand her
up and never let her down. He will reassure her when she
feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day. He will
inspire her to do things she never thought she could do;
to live without fear and forget regret. He will enable her
to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most
intimate desires. He will make sure she always feels as though
she's the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable
her to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, invincible ...
.... No wait... I'm thinking of alcohol.
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BUffalo bill
Walk It Out Granny
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7808.htm
Water Park Prank
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7809.htm
wdrb
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7810.htm
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FUN PAGES
Margrave Manor 2: Lost Ship
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41752&s=n
Prince of Persia Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41550&s=n
Fastest Firefly
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41423&s=n
that's all folks!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
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