Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Periodically I like to comment on commercials that I find either
exceptional or obnoxious. I want to say first that I always use a
seatbelt. Having been through a couple of rollovers and some
real nasty skids, I felt more comfortable and in control being
strapped
in and if I don't survive the crash with a seatbelt I probably
wouldn't
have survived it without one. Over the last Memorial Day they showed
a click it or ticket commercial over and over again. You know the
one where the guy gets in his pick-up without using his seat belt to
the sound of the beep beep of the seat belt warning alarm. When
he arrives at work there is a person that follows him around all day
going beep-beep. No matter what their intention was, all I feel from
watching their commercial is a desire to kick the crap out of the
guy going beep-beep and a need to change the channel. To make
matters worse I know that I am paying for this commercial even
though I wear my belt. Even worse I pay for it twice as in
addition to the cost to make the video, I pay 75.00 a month for
cable access to watch it. I am not against seat belt advertising but
what was wrong with the ads they used back when I was
learning to drive like http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JawdbAL7lg ?
That has a much better impact.
Another commercial that reaches the height of stupidity is the
Dockers, " Men who wear no Pants" commercial. No further comments
necessary.
I am watching Tony Hayward getting roasted by Congress. I agree that
BP should be responsible for clean-up of this mess and getting
chewed up comes with the territory when you make a mistake. My
concern is the 20 billion that BP has pledged. Our Congress has
blown through 2 trillion in 18 months and not fixed anything. How
long will 20 billion last when they add every pet project and
payoffs to supporters to the tab. Here is my suggestion if they go
beyond the 20 billion let them pull it out of the 6 billion the
government collects each year from its oil leases. 1/6 of the oil
that is pumped from the offshore wells goes to the government and
the states. The government is guilty of shoddy oversight through MMS
and deserves to take its share of the financial responsibility too.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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FIRST DEGREE
Boudreaux and his wife were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the
morning.
Boudreaux picked up the phone, listened a moment and said "How
should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
The wife said, "Who was that?"
Boudreaux answered, "I don't know, some man wanting to know if the
coast is clear."
SECOND DEGREE
Two Cajuns are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. He opens it, looks in the
mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second Cajun
says, "Here, let me see!!" So the first Cajun hands him the
compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy,
it's me!"
THIRD DEGREE
Boudreaux suspects his wife of cheating on him, so he goes out and
buys a gun. He goes to his house unexpectedly and when he opens the
door he finds her in the arms of a redhead. Well, Boudreaux is
really angry. He pulls out the gun, and as he does so, he is
overcome with grief. He takes the gun and puts it to his head. His
wife yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"
Boudreaux replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
FOURTH DEGREE
Boudreaux was bragging about his knowledge of state capitals. He
proudly says, "Go ahead, and ask me, I know all of them."
A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?" Boudreaux
replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."
FIFTH DEGREE
What did the Cajun girl ask her doctor when he told her she was
pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
SIXTH DEGREE
Boudreaux, a Cajun in his fourth year as a LSU Freshman, sat in his
US Government class. The professor asked Boudreaux if he knew what
Roe vs. Wade was about. Boudreaux pondered the question then finally
said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he
crossed the Delaware "
SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, Boudreaux was shocked to find his house
ransacked and burglarized. He telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the
radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash,
Boudreaux ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop
and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting his face in his hands, Boudreaux moaned, "I come home to
find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what
do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman."
OK. Now forward this to someone else who needs a laugh today!
Bob in Fla
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Welfare Chips
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Welfare Check
A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.
He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know...., I
just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is
excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man
who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.
You'll have to drive around in his 2008 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he
will supply all of your clothes.
"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be
expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This
is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job
assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her
mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're b***s****in' me!"
The social worker said, "Yeah, well ...
You started it."
From
Devo
devo@vtown.com.au
Gosnells
West Australia
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Boob Chips
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Boobs. Is there anything they can't do? In this case an
American woman was rescued from disaster on a mountain in
Germany after she used her size DD bra to get the attention
of nearby loggers.
The 24-year-old Colorado woman had been missing for three
days before a helicopter crew spotted her colorful sports
bra. The woman said she attached the bra to a cable used
for moving logs down the mountain.
The woman received injuries to her skull, ankle and shoulder
when she lost her footing while hiking in the Bavarian Alps
close to Berchtesgaden, Germany.
"Hanging the bra out saved her life because a logger saw
it, heard about the search for a missing woman, and called
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Officials said the woman is expected to make a full recovery.
Imagine...it could have been much worse if she had been an A
or a B cup.
Myron
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Short Chips
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"Mildred, shut up" cried the golfer at his nagging wife, "Shut up or
you'll drive me out of my mind."
"That," said Mildred, "wouldn't be a drive, it would be a short
putt."
Woman #1: "His pee pee is really small, you know, but the sex is
wonderful."
Woman #2: "You mean he's rich?"
Woman #1: "Yeah. Exactly."
A fiftyish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and
squealing with delight.
Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea
how ridiculous you look? What`s the matter with you?"
The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don`t care. I
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The husband said, "What did he say about your 65 year old ass?"
"Your name never came up," she replied.
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The new English teacher had just taken over her first class, a group
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said.
"Arseholes!" said little Johnny proudly.
Ignoring his remark, she continued. Now give me a word beginning
with 'B' "Bastard," came the answer from Freddy. She immediately
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"Dwarf," said little Cameron. With a sigh of relief she asked him
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Majestic Mountains
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Misc_files/M_M.html
John w/ Daddy's Girl
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
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especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
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Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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PDF Reader
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Rasterbator
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Surfing Torrents
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Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
Tale Of Two Swallows
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Viagra
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q and A Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you call a prostitute with her hand in her panties?
~ Self employed.
What do you get if you cross a whore and a computer?
~ A fucking know-it-all.
Do you know the difference between a salad and a blowjob?
~ No? Well, okay then, let me take you out to lunch.
It'll be my treat!
What's the favorite TV show in Arkansas?
~ Touched By An Uncle.
How is a dick like fishing?
~ Throw back the small ones, eat the medium ones and ...
mount the large ones.
How do you get your husband interested in oral sex?
~ Douche with beer
Did you hear about the prostitute who was into bondage?
~ She was strapped for cash.
Did you hear about the masochistic homosexual?
~ He was sucker for punishment.
What do menstrual periods and spaghetti sauce have in common?
~ If you miss your Ragu, you could be Prego.
How do you know your mechanic has just had sex?
~ One of his fingers is clean.
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
choke
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choke the chicken
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choking
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choking hazard
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christmas
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Limerick Chips
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There was A girl named Hortense
Her breasts were simply immense.
One day playing soccer
Out popped her left knocker
And she kicked it over the fence.
In one little whorehouse I've been
I sampled the charms of Maureen
Affection I sought
But something I caught
Was turning my gonads to green
There was a young girl named O'Malley
Who wanted to dance in the ballet.
She got roars of applause
When she kicked off her drawers
But her hair and her bush didn't tally.
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A mother took her five-year-old son with her to the bank on a busy
lunchtime. They got behind a very fat woman wearing a business suit
complete with pager. As they waited patiently, the little boy said
loudly, 'Gee, she's fat!'
The mother bent down and whispered in the little boys ear to be
quiet. A couple of minutes passed by and the little boy spread his
hands as
far as they would go and announced; 'I'll bet her butt is this
wide!' The fat woman turns around and glares at the little boy. The
mother
gave him a good telling off, and told him to be quiet. After a brief
lull, the large woman reached the front of the line.
Just then, her pager began to emit a: beep, beep, beep. The little
boy yells out, 'Run for your life, she's backing up!!
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1817
Explaining
BJ: Okay here we again do you understand Rudy, Katie, Sandi, Val?
Sandi: I understand, but do not like it.
Katie: I understand and am okay with it.
Val: I do not understand, but am okay with it.
Rudy: I am confused.
BJ: So Sandi, it will be okay because you and I will be at the same
place.
Sandi: Then I am okay.
BJ: Rudy, you will be with Sandi, Val, Katie, Mom and me.
Rudy: Yeah, I know, and it is here where we belong.
BJ puts his head in his hands: No no no, we are moving Rudy to
another
town.
Rudy: Don't want to move. I love this house.
BJ: We all do. I do not want to move but we have to.
Rudy: Why?
BJ: Diana, er, Toot's back cannot allow her to stay in a three
story
house. This other house has only one story.
Rudy: I guess that is good for my tisms.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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