Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
A word from the President on Flag Day
Presidential Proclamation--Flag Day and National Flag Week
When the Second Continental Congress adopted the American flag on
June 14, 1777, the thirteen stripes alternating red and white, and
thirteen white stars in a blue field, represented "a new
constellation." On Flag Day, and throughout National Flag Week, we
celebrate its lasting luminosity, and the enduring American story
that it represents.
Although the configuration of stars and stripes has changed over the
years it has been flown, its significance and symbolism have not
wavered. The flag that once helped unite a new Nation to confront
tyranny and oppression still flies today as an unequivocal emblem of
freedom and liberty. The same flag that has been raised on beaches
and battlefields still adorns the uniforms of our heroic sons and
daughters serving in America's Armed Forces, including our troops
serving in harm's way in Iraq and Afghanistan.
This past year, that same flag has continued to soar. When our
American Olympic and Paralympics athletes were positioned
triumphantly on the podiums of the Vancouver 2010 Olympic and
Paralympic Winter Games, our majestic flag flew high above them.
From homes to classrooms, civic gatherings to private memorials, we
gathered to salute our flag, and in doing so, renewed the eternal
promise of this glorious Nation.
More than 220 years after Old Glory was first embraced by our
Founders, the Stars and Stripes remain the symbol of our Nation's
pride. On Flag Day and during National Flag Week we recognize the
American flag as a symbol of hope and inspiration to people at home
and around the world -- as a constellation which grows brighter with
every achievement earned and sacrifice borne by one of our citizens.
To commemorate the adoption of our flag, the Congress, by joint
resolution approved August 3, 1949, as amended (63 Stat. 492),
designated June 14 of each year as "Flag Day" and requested that the
President issue an annual proclamation calling for its observance
and for the display of the flag of the United States on all Federal
Government buildings. The Congress also requested, by joint
resolution approved June 9, 1966, as amended (80 Stat. 194), that
the President annually issue a proclamation designating the week in
which June 14 occurs as "National Flag Week" and call upon citizens
of the United States to display the flag during that week.
NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of
America, do hereby proclaim June 14, 2010, as Flag Day and the week
beginning June 13, 2010, as National Flag Week. I direct the
appropriate officials to display the flag on all Federal Government
buildings during that week, and I urge all Americans to observe Flag
Day and National Flag Week by displaying the flag. I also call upon
the people of the United States to observe with pride and all due
ceremony those days from Flag Day through Independence Day, also set
aside by the Congress (89 Stat. 211), as a time to honor America, to
celebrate our heritage in public gatherings and activities, and to
publicly recite the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag of the United
States of America.
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this eleventh day of
June, in the year of our Lord two thousand ten, and of the
Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and
thirty-fourth.
BARACK OBAMA
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Monk Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Paul wanted to get away from it all, so he set off to explore the
world. After having a fine time in Europe, and a couple of months in
Spain, he ended up in the Amazon. He wandered around for a few
weeks, and then decided to really explore it. He walked for miles
and miles, eating fruit and any animals he could catch, and getting
happily lost. He did have a slight run-in with a crocodile, but he
managed to escape, and carried on.
He found a stunningly beautiful area and set up home there for a
while, building a nice home out of wood, and learning skills that he
never deemed he would. After living in his home for 3 months, he was
beginning to feel lonely, so he headed off again.
This time he made progress, following the river along, and moving
quickly to find some companionship. He ate well, catching fish, but
the fish were no good at conversation, so he soon got desperately
bored.
After a couple of weeks, he saw a large building. He went an knocked
on the door, and a monk opened it. "Hello" said the monk (Monks are
know for being friendly, and saying 'hello')
"Hello," said Paul, "I'm Paul"
"Do come in Paul, our Monastery is your Monastery, any thing you
want, just ask, but we are about to have dinner, won't you join us?"
"I'd love to" said Paul.
Dinner was a feast the likes of which Paul had never seen. The wine
was beautiful, and Paul hadn't had any alcohol for many months, and
he ate like a pig. After dinner, with all the alcohol flowing
through his blood stream, Paul needed some sleep. The monk showed
him to his room, and Paul slept like a baby.
The next morning, Paul awoke feeling like a new man. He couldn't
find one, so he settled for a monk(!)
The Monk said "If you want anything at all, please just ask".
"OK, I will have a think about that" said Paul
"Really," said the monk, "It would be a pleasure for us to supply
you with anything that your heart desires".
Paul spent the next few days enjoying the food and wine, and going
with the Monks to pray, and then, having had plenty of time to think
about it, he had a quiet word with the Monk.
"Can you really supply me with anything I desire?" asked Paul.
"Anything at all, you name it, and we will get it for you."
"OK, if you are sure," Said Paul, "I would love a hair-dryer, a
Macintosh, 7 candles, a sheep, some butter, a pair of wellies, and a
goat"
"Let me get this right," said the Monk, "You want a hair-dryer, a
Macintosh, 7 candles, a sheep, some butter, a pair of wellies, and a
goat?"
"Please," said Paul, "And a white sheep, not a black one, if that is
OK?" "A white sheep? OK, No problem, but it might take a little
time"
The next 8 days went by with good food, good wine, good prayers, and
no sheep, etc. On the ninth day, the Monk went up to Paul, and said
"Well, it was hard work, but we have got you a hair-dryer, a
Macintosh, 7 candles, a white sheep, some butter, a pair of wellies,
and a goat, they are all in your room."
"That is Great" said Paul, "I will go and check them all now."
An hour later, he found the monk, and said "I am sorry to trouble
you, but the hairdryer doesn't have a 'cold-air' option, is it
possible to change it?"
"Of course it is" said the monk, who wandered off muttering
something about 'not being a bloody Argos store'.
The next day, Paul found a new hair-dryer outside his door, with a
cold option. He was ecstatic. The Monks didn't see much of Paul for
the next few weeks, but they heard some very odd noises from his
room.
After a month or so, Paul announced to the Monk that he really ought
to think about heading home.
"OK, well thank you for visiting us." Said the Monk.
"I shall miss you all, you have been so kind to me, treating me like
a long lost son, feeding me, supplying everything that I desire, how
can I ever repay you?" Paul asked the Monk.
"Well, there is one thing" said the Monk, "I would love to know why
you wanted a hair-dryer (hot and cold air), a Macintosh, 7 candles,
a white sheep, some butter, a pair of wellies, and a goat?"
"Oh, the hair-dryer (hot and cold air), a Macintosh, 7 candles, a
white sheep, some butter, a pair of wellies, and a goat? Well, can
you keep a secret?"
"Yes I can." said the monk.
And he did.
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
swinging cruise
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home coming
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going to bed with a good book
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Garden Of Eden
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Gas Chamber
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000739.html
Gates
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000740.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dog Chips
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~
A farmer has to go out to plow his rental field about
10 miles from his farm. To get there he must drive his tractor, and
his dog old Joe trots along beside him. Halfway through the
plowing, the tractor runs out of fuel. He wanders out to the road
and flags down a ride, which just happens to be a Ferrari. The
driver says, "You can have a ride, but that dog can't get in my
car." The farmer says, "Don't worry. Old Joe will keep up." The
driver figures he'll show the farmer just what his car can do and
lets it rip. Just as he is going into 5th gear, he looks out the
window and sure enough Old Joe is right beside him. He can't wait
to have a look at the amazing dog, so he slams on the brakes, and
the car stops rather abruptly.
The driver jumps out exclaiming, "He's the most incredible dog I've
ever seen! But what kind of collar is that he's wearing?" The
farmer shook his head and said, "That's not a collar, that's his
asshole... he's not used to stopping that fast."
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Job Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How To Ask A Man To Do Something Always remember these five
important rules when asking a man to do something:
1. Make sure the man is conscious.
1a. Then give him a Blow Job
2. Crash the hard drive on his computer and line the bird cage with
the sports section.
3. Be brief! Limit your nagging harangue to two, three, or four
hours, max.
3b. Then ... give him a Blow Job
4. Reward him for cooperative behavior. A blow job will usually do
just fine. Or, offer to cook him something that doesn't have a
peel-back cover.
5. Punish him when he refuses to cooperate. Microwave his remote
on high power for 55 minutes. Rotate 1/4 turn, and microwave again
for another 35 minutes. Or, threaten to not give him a blow job.
6. Use "would you" or "will you" instead of "you'd better" or "do
as I say and no one will get hurt".
7. When all else fails ... Blow Job.
OK, seven rules.
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marina: "Do you ever miss the ex?"
Amy: "OH! All the time! You wouldn't believe how much!"
Marina: "Wow! I didn't think you cared about him at all."
Amy: "Wait a minute! Did you say 'ex' or 'sex'?"
~~~~
When asked by their host if she would like another
drink, the attractive blonde bowed her head slightly
and said, "No thank you. My husband limits me to one
drink."
"Why is that," the host asked?
Her reply... "Because after one drink I can feel it;
after two drinks ...anyone can!"
~~~~
Jeff was married and a philanderer. A friend finally
took him to task. "When you run around with other
women, doesn't your conscience bother you?"
"Yes, for a certain length of time...and then if I
don't hear from their lawyers, I feel better."
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A teacher said to her little student Suzy, "Punctuate the following
sentence: Fun fun fun worry worry worry."
Little Suzy thought for a moment and began her reply, "Let's see.
Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry!!!"
~~~
Jeff was married and a philanderer. A friend finally
took him to task. "When you run around with other
women, doesn't your conscience bother you?"
"Yes, for a certain length of time...and then if I
don't hear from their lawyers, I feel better."
~~~~~
"David is the same as ever." gossiped his wife on the telephone.
"All he ever thinks about all day long is sex... sex... sex."
"Now that's just not true at all." called out David,
relaxing in his recliner. "For the past half-hour,
I've been laying here thinking about you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Jesse Taylor
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/V/O_JT.htm
John w/ I Am The Flag
http://heavens-gates.com/iamtheflag/
I Am Your Flag Via Patricia
http://www.dobhran.com/greetings/GRflagday2.htm
When Artists Get Bored
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/abored.html
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Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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Surfin Surfari
MUSICIAN, SAUSAGE COMPANY FOUNDER JIMMY DEAN DIES
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Pencil Furniture
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pencilf.html
Sleeping Disorders & Treatments Via Wesley
http://www.sleepeducation.com/
Food Products Review Site Via Wesley
http://www.zeer.com/
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Darik's Boot and Nuke
http://dban.sourceforge.net/
Troubleshooting Adobe Acrobat
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PC Slashdot: News for nerds, stuff that matters
http://slashdot.org/
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
Mule Vs Lion
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Links
The Dildo Song
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The Elk
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Three Condoms Please
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Thunder Power
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Thunder Twin
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Time To Let Them Go
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Stay Fit
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Stethoscope
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China
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Super Models
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Suzuki
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pick-up Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hal is petrified of girls, so he asks his friend Lenny how he meets
so many nice chicks.
Lenny says, "I have a surefire method to feel them out. I go up
behind a girl and whisper, 'Tickle your ass with a feather?' And
when she turns around and asks what I said, I say, 'Typical nasty
weather.' If she smiles or laughs, I know she has a sense of humor,
we chat, and it all happens naturally. Try it."
The next night, nervous but desperate, Hal goes to a very crowded
bar, and sits in the corner, stewing, nursing a drink, getting more
uptight every second. Finally, he walks up behind the nicest girl
in the place, and after a few minutes of stammering, blurts out so
everybody can hear, "Stick my finger in your ass?"
She turns around and says, "WHAT!?"
He says, "It's freaking pouring outside."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
cheating bitch
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jfkldl;sl.htm
cheerleader2
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cheerleaders
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chess
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cheese burger
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My wife Myrtle's womb has a habit
Of expanding whenever I stab it.
What's more, my wife Myrtle
Is so wonderously fertile,
That she's giving me kids like a rabbit.
~~~
There was a young girl of East Anglia
Whose loins were a tangle of ganglia.
Her mind was a webbing
Of Freud and Kraft-Ebing
And all sorts of other mew-fanglia.
~~~~~~
There was a young man from Hong Kong
Who had a trifurcated prong:
A small one for sucking,
A large one for fucking,
And a honey for beating a gong.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a recent television show in the UK, actor and comedian John
Cleese explained three reasons why the British are superior to
Americans:
1. They speak English.
2. When they host a world championship they invite other countries.
3. Visitors to the head of state are only expected to go down on ONE
knee.
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1815
Training Phase Three
Tami: So what about the strength part?
Katie: I need Rudy for that part.
Rudy: Okay, here is the deal. You grab ahold of that rope with
your
legs and pull that cart uphill.
Tami: That cart must have six hundred pounds of rocks in it.
Rudy: It has eight hundred. I pulled it up the hill myself, it is
no big
deal. You can do it.
Tami: Okay, here goes.
Grunt, wheeze, chug...
About three hours later...
Tami: Hey, I am dying here. How is this going to make me run
faster?
Rudy: This is going to add strength to your legs, back, and
shoulders.
Tami: Okay I am at the top. Now what?
Rudy: You rest a while, drink water, then fill up that roughsack
and
carry as many rocks down the hill as you can while running.
Tami: You have got to be out of your mind.
Rudy: Not at all. This will be good for you.
Tami rests, then hydrates then loads up and takes off.
Sandi to Val: She will thank us later
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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