Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
During one morning watch, H.M.C.S. Bonaventure, a light aircraft
carrier, Canada's last operational carrier, was steaming merrily
along in the north Atlantic on its way home from England, when it
hit something that caused the entire ship to shudder. Action and
rescue stations were activated and all hands accounted for. A check
of water tight integrity proved no apparent damage. She circled the
area until first light to identify what she had hit. The forward
lookout reported to the bridge that the ship had hit an elephant.
Reports were sent to Halifax Command and disbelieving messages flew
back and forth. Against all common sense ship's logs were filled out
with all pertinent details recorded for posterity.
Apparently, after much investigation it was determined that a
cargo ship carrying the Barnum and Bailey circus to the U.S. had
jettisoned a dead elephant, and as it was mid Atlantic, never filed
a hazardous flotsam report to any authority.
The "Bonnie" remains to this day the only ship with a recorded
collision with an elephant...Fw&fs.Don
buffalo says I have felt the same thing before on a full sized
carrier.
Someone would always comment we had just run over a whale
and it was really hard to believe that anything weighing 80,000
tons and traveling at 30 knots could be slowed by something
weighing 20 tons. We lived, slept, and worked in the bowels of the
ship and it was easy to go two weeks with no sunlight while
the guys up on the flight deck got an overdose of sunshine everyday
and could see what was going on in the ocean. Maybe we were
running over Vietnamese fishing boats. We had sort of agreed not
to interfere with fishing vessels or nets but they would drop nets
and interfere with the task force's formation by playing chicken. A
few found out it wasn't a good idea to play chicken with naval
vessels
and our captain liked to change course just to run over nets.
I grabbed the ingredients for a big batch of Lumpia Shanghai the
other night which is similar to regular Lumpia but no carrot or
cabbage.
They came out real well. I rolled them while Sandy fried them and we
munched on them for 3 days. Didn't have any banana catsup or
San Miguel but it still brought back memories.
Enjoy the chips
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Loft Chips
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Three rookies are at batting practice. First guy pops one straight
overhead
that falls back into the stands. He turns to the batting coach and
says,
"What did I do wrong?"
The coach says, "Loft."
The next guy steps up and hits a foul that dribbles near the fence
by first
base. He asks the coach, "What did I do wrong?"
The coach says, "Loft."
The third guy swings and misses. He asks the coach, "What did I do
wrong?"
The coach says, "Loft."
As they're walking to the showers, the first guy finally speaks up.
He says
to the coach, "The three of us made completely different swings, and
when we
asked you what we did wrong you answered the same exact answer each
time.
What is loft?"
The coach says, "Lack of fricking talent."
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
cut
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d027.html
hurry it up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d028.html
your brother
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d029.html
Gear Shift
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000744.html
Geek Leak
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000745.html
Gender Translator
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000746.html
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Talent Chips
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A young apprentice talent agent went out to dinner and a few drinks
one night. After a few drinks he met a woman and they had a few
drinks together then ended up at his place.
Things start to get pretty hot and he goes down on her. When he
gets close to it he hears something, so he puts his ear closer and
hears singing. It's a high pitched sweet voice singing an old song.
The man is so excited he forgets all about sex, he gets on the phone
and calls his boss.
"Hello Joe you gotta hear this," and he puts the phone down by her
pussy where the singing is still going on. "Did you hear that Joe,
Did you hear it?"
Joe says, "What the hell's wrong with you? Did you wake me up at
three o'clock in the morning just to hear some cunt sing!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Condom Chips
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A young Scotsman was all set up for his very first screw, but his
girlfriend says, "Sorry Jock, not without a condom."
Young Jock searched the town high and low, but being a Sunday, every
place was closed.
Walking around, he eventually met Old Angus, a very good friend of
his father. Young Jock explained his problem.
Old Angus said, "Don't worry son, I can help you out."
Young Jock took off and the night was beyond his wildest
expectations. A week later, he met Old Angus in the street and told
him about his experience.
"It was wonderful, Angus. Thanks to you, I had the best time I have
ever had."
"Just glad I could help out son; now where's the condom?" asked Old
Angus.
Young Jock looked at him and replied, "I threw it away."
Old Angus, with a scowl on his face, said, "Ah, yer in trouble now
laddie--that condom belonged to the club."
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Leg Chips
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A man and his wife, moved from Conroe , Texas to Mendenhall, MS .
The husband had a wooden leg, and to insure it back in Texas , it
cost them $2000. Per year!
When they arrived in Mendenhall, they went to an insurance agency to
see how much it would cost to insure his wooden leg.
The agent looked it up on the computer and said: '$39.' The husband
was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here in Mendenhall to
insure it because it cost him $2000 in Texas.
The insurance agent turned his computer screen to the couple and
said, 'Well, here it is on the screen, it says: Any wooden
structure, with a sprinkler system above it, is $39... You just
have to know how to describe it!'
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Clinton Chips
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Bill and Hilary Clinton were the guests of
honor at the World Marching Girl and Drum
Majorette Championships in New York.
Hilary noticed that Bill had a smile on his face,
so she said, " Well honey, what are you smiling at?"
Bill replied, "Honey, if I had another inch,
I'd be pretty popular amongst them Marching Girls."
A big smile came across Hilary's face. Bill said,
"What are you smiling about?"
Hilary replied, "Bill, if you had one inch less,
you'd be out there marching with them."
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Peaceful Memories
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Ann/A_P.html
The Book
http://www.loratrue2000.com/poems/book.htm
God's Bumper Stickers
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gbumper.html
Weird Rainy Days
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rainyday.html
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Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
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Surfin Surfari
self propelled ice fishing shanty Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/34pdk9a
50+ pictures of amazingly colourful insects Via Dianne
http://tinyurl.com/lz84y6
Celestial Burial In Tibet Via Dianne
http://tinyurl.com/24gwwwu
Pike's Peak Cog Railway
http://www.cograilway.com/
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Create Trading Cards
http://bighugelabs.com/deck.php
Find Similar Sites Via Wesley
http://www.similarsites.com/
File Conversion Tool
http://www.zamzar.com/conversionTypes.php
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://community.webtv.net/Kamikazeschips/PuppyPicsMrBig
Kitty Korner
http://www.catwatchnewsletter.com/
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We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
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Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
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Movie Links
Topper
http://www.buffaloschips.com/62511.htm
Trained Puppies
http://www.buffaloschips.com/62512.htm
Tread Mill
http://www.buffaloschips.com/62513.htm
Tree Sex
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Trick Boobies
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Verrassing
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Water Power
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Way Cool Toy
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Wekker Problem
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Welcome Home
http://www.buffaloschips.com/71601.htm
Westfall Horse Video
http://www.buffaloschips.com/71602.htm
We Wish You A Merry Christmas
http://www.buffaloschips.com/71603.htm
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Fiddle Chips
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An old sea captain, and a little guy who played the fiddle, were
arguing about women.
The old sea captain tells the little fiddle player that women can't
be trusted, and they will not be faithful under any circumstances.
The little fiddle player said well he bet his wife would not do
anything like that.
So, the old sea captain said he would bet his ship and cargo against
the fiddler player's violin that she would be unfaithful.
The fiddle player took the bet, and invited the sea captain over to
his house, and sent the two of them into the bedroom while he waited
outside the door.
A half hour went by and he heard nothing from his wife, so he
started singing to the tune of Auld Lang Sine:
Be true, my love, be true my love, It's only for an hour. Don't
screw, my love, don't screw, my love, And the ship and cargo's ours.
She sang back to him:
Too late, my love, too late, my love, He's got me round the middle,
He's screwed me once, he'll do it twice, And you've lost your damned
old fiddle!!!
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Toon Chips
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Chicken bj
http://www.buffaloschips.com/vhkcbjkclbc.htm
chili night
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chinese
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chinese2
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choir
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Limerick Chips
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And nothing could make a man madder
Than losing to some woman's bladder
I see them some nights
All hitting the heights
That no man could reach with a ladder
~~~~~~
St. David of Wales is unique
But not for the words he would speak
Or the life that he led;
He's, oddly, instead
Remembered for taking a leek.
~~~~~~
In one little whorehouse I've been
I sampled the charms of Maureen
Affection I sought
But something I caught
Was turning my gonads to green
~~~~~~
I wouldn't think that was so bad
As the sweet little thing that I had
In gay old Paris --
What she gave to me
Has turned my poor gonads to plaid
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Parting Chips
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Little Johnny went to his first school dance. He didn't know if he
would ever get up the nerve to ask a girl out to dance.
As the night went on everybody was dancing except Little Johnny. He
just sat in the corner looking at everyone having fun.
Finally as the last song started to play Little Johnny spotted two
very cute girls across the room sitting at their table. He walked
over and asked one if she would like to dance. She looked him up and
down and said "I am sorry but I am very particular with whom I dance
with."
Little Johnny being the smart boy that he is, replied, "You can dam
will see that I am not."
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1623
The Morning Routine
BJ starts the car, opens the front door and motions for Katie to get
inside. Katie just sits there.
Katie: No, you open the back door per page three, section two,
paragraph one.
BJ: Good grief!
BJ opens the back door, Katie jumps in. BJ starts driving.
Katie: Remember father, to the lake and back at the least.
Through gritted teeth BJ: Yes, Katherine, I remember the terms.
Back at the house Sandi has finished her breakfast and is reading
the
paper.
Rudy is snoring loudly on Dad's bed.
BJ pulls up in the driveway. Diana is in the front yard.
Diana: You are running late for work aren't you.
BJ: #%#@^#^%!!!!
Katie: Morning mother.
BJ leads Katie into the house and heads to the car.
Diana: Your face sure is red dear.
The Herd in Guthrie
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Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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