Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
You have to love this. Work has been going to China for years
because of lower wages. It would seem that with the influx of
Capitalism to China in the past few years, the young are no longer
willing to work at low wages for long hours and many companies
are unable to hire enough people to meet their obligations. Honda
moved a large part of its engine and transmission plants to
China. Like other auto manufacturers Honda uses just in time
manufacturing at all levels meaning the motor arrives at the plant
just hours before it is needed on the assembly line. The employees
in China tired of a starting wage of about 220 dollars a month
did what automakers do and went on strike. This shut down production
at four Honda assembly plants until they reached an agreement
for a raise to 280 dollars a month.
If you are Honda, the savings from years of dealing with the Chinese
goes out the window real fast when you have no product to sell and
when you figure in other items like shipping and tariffs you can
find
yourself losing money after a huge investment and you start asking
yourself why you went to China in the first place.
It has always been illegal in China to organize labor groups outside
of the official government unions but with one electronics plant
that
supplies to Dell and other manufacturers back here, that has 10
suicides a month doing nothing to improve worker conditions they
are finally letting the workers speak out. I thought that was the
way
communism worked in the first place, with the worker first. It is
hard
to imagine though living in a dormitory, eating in a cafeteria, and
working 10-12 hour days every day except for holidays for a
pittance,
sounds almost like being in the military.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Mexican Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
COMPILATION OF MEXICAN WORDS OF THE DAY!
'Heater' - My little sister started to choke, perro my mom told me
to heater in the back.
'Juicy' - Hey Vato, I will roll a joint and ju tell me if juicy the
cops!
'Sodas' - My vieja looks good and sodas her sister.
'Cheese' - Maria likes me pero cheese too fat.
' Chile ' - When my wife and I were dating, she was fine, but since
we got married chile herself go.
' Juarez ' - My vieja slapped me and I said, juarez your *uckin
problem! Bish!
'Chicken' - My wife wanted me to go to the store, but chicken go
herself.
'Harrassment' - Orale vato my old lady caught me n bed wit my sancha
pero harrasment nothing to me!!!
'Water' - My vieja gets mad and I dont even know water problem is.
'Brief' - My homie farted gacho bad, and I could not brief.
'Mushroom' - Orale vato, when all my familia gets in the car, there
is not mushroom.
'Frito' - After arguing with the pinche policia he told me i wuz
frito go.
'Wafer' - I wanted to go to the movies with my friends, pero los
mensos didn't wafer me.
'July' - You told me you were going to the store and July to me!
Julyer!
'Liver and Cheese' - Some vato tried to sweet talk my ruca, I told
him 'orale loco liver alone, cheese mines.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
car wash
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cat2
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My sister is a flat chested girl.
I'm quite a joker, and one day i said to her "Would you
wear gloves if you had no hands??"
She said "No".
So i said "So why do you wear a bra then??"
At this point i thought it advisable to run away, before
she threw something at me.
~~~~~
Sean got home in the early hours of the morning after a night at
the local pub. He made such a racket hitting into the furniture as
he weaved his way through the house, that he woke up the missus.
"What on earth are you doing down there?" she yelled down from the
bedroom. "Get yourself up here to bed and don't waken the
neighbours."
"I'm trying to get a barrel of Guinnes up the stairs" he shouted.
"Leave it 'till the morning" she shouted down
"I can't" he said "I've drank it!"
~~~~~
Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy said
to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly
"It's true, straight up no bull!"
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Naked Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was this lady who was sexually frustrated and had tried to get
her
husband sexually stimulated but nothing seemed to work. She tried
sexy
lingerie, toys etc etc but had no luck. So one day she asked her
friend
what she should do... "It's really annoying me now! He's just not up
for
it. He's always out down the pub with the lads. What can I do?"
Her friend suggested, "Well, if he's always out with the lads why
don't
you give him an extra tenner so he enjoys himself even more and then
he'll come home and thank you appropriately..."
So the woman tried this and this is what happened on his return:
Man: Take Your clothes off!
Woman thinks: Whoa! This is working!
Man: Stand on your head!
Woman: Ooohh...! Kinky!!!
Man: Spread your legs apart!
Woman thinks: This has really worked - give it to me!
The man then gets a small mirror and places it in between her legs.
Woman thinks: This is a new one...
Man says: You know... the lads were right, I would look good with a
beard!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Wool Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back in the Cold War days, Ivan was a diplomat
and spy. He was new to the USA and lived in
Washington, D.C. for past six months. He soon
complained to Boris, his aide, that he needed a
woman.
Boris dropped off a high-priced hooker at his
door the following Saturday night. Ivan plied her
with some vodka and caviar. As she took her top,
he noticed that her armpits were shaved. He said,
pointing top his own pits, "Vomen in the old
country have wool - they have wool!"
She responded, "It's customary and fashionable to shave our
underarms."
They drank more vodka and ate more caviar. She
removed her slacks. He noticed that her legs are
shaved also. He repeated, "Vomen in the old
country have wool - they have wool!" Once more,
she said, "It's customary and fashionable to
shave our legs."
After more vodka and caviar, he pulled down her
panties and saw that her privates were trimmed.
He exclaimed again, "Vomen in the old country
have wool - they have wool!"
She then asked in loud voice, "Look buddy, did you want to screw or
knit?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Name Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's in a name ? A lot more than you think. Here's your chance
to
learn what his pet name for you really means. Don't say we didn't
warn
you !!
Darling -- Depends on how he says it. If he stresses
the first syllable, then he's probably done something wrong or wants
money.
Dear -- Probably a leftover from his parents. Expect
him to wear woolly cardigans, smoke a pipe and prefer a mug of
ovaltine
to lager.
Sweetheart -- If it's said patronisingly, it's not so sweet. But
when
uttered in ernest, it may send your own sweet heart aflutter.
Babe -- Not to be confused with the film of the same name. Check for
flares or signs that he's a 70s throwback. He's a bit of a
medallion
man. Chances are he's got his initials on his chunky ring. Leave
immediately if he tries to sell you a second-hand car.
Baby doll -- This type of man will probably require you
to wear transparent frilly nighties even in the dead of
winter. He doesn't want you to grow up, and obviously can't deal
with
real women.
Princess -- Never trust a man who calls you princess.
You may think you're being treated like royalty, but beware of
Prince
Charmings - they may be secretly plotting your overthrow.
Memsahib -- At least you're in no doubt as to who wears the trousers
in
this relationship. Who said that colonisation was dead ?
Luv -- Expect him to be a builder, plumber, chippie, sparkie
or just an all round general geezer. Probably calls everyone else
this
too, including his dear mum, the vicar and the pet dog.
Fatty -- No problem if you're thin. If you're not - kick him out -
unless he exceeds 40 stone himself.
Sexy -- Fine if you're sexy. If you're not, who cares? He probably
thinks you are anyway !!
Dog breath -- Charming !! He should be in the doghouse
if this is his pet name for you. Return the compliment -
serve him a dog food curry.
Farty pants -- He could be trying to tell you something about your
digestive system - otherwise he's just a big kid who prefers his
mates'
humour to you.
Slapper -- Great as a jokey term of affection. But if he
means it perhaps you should be more careful who you bring home at
night
- es pecially if you live together !!
Stupid cow -- The only farmyard animal you should accept the
likeness to
are duckie, lambikins and chickie. And you're not stupid, so put
him
out to graze. ...And behind your back.
My girlfriend -- He's honest, open and probably glad to have you
around.
The next thing you know he'll be using your name!!
The wife -- If you're married then he probably thinks he owns you.
If
you're not, he probably thinks you act like his wife, in which case,
he
thinks he owns you.
My other half -- You complete the set - he's only half a man without
you. But it may make you feel as though you are losing your identity
somewhere.
The missus -- See The Wife.
My partner -- He's right on. Probably likes eating tofu and hugging
trees.
My significant other -- He's even more right on.
Probably thinks it's cruel to eat tofu and that trees need their own
space.
'er indoors -- He probably thinks all you're good at is housework.
You
should get out a bit more - with your real friends !!
She who must be obeyed -- He thinks you're a nag, but probably
doesn't
lift a finger around the house.
Her nibs -- Affectionate term for an authoritarian. You insisted
that
he called you that. Didn't you ?
If you are a bloke reading this, then think again when
you are just about to call her a pet name. If you are a girl
reading
this, then don't take it too seriously, it's only a bit of fun :o)
Just give him a slap, that normally does the trick, hehehe. Even
better,
get that big wooden rolling pin out!!!
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Going Home
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Colors Via Hrt of Joy
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John w/ Dancing The Night Away
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
LilyPond ... music notation for everyone
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Check the availability of a username
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File Assasin
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Aww Animals 3
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Movie Links
Office B
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Polaroid
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Porky Pig
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Ice fishing
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Accident Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bill and Tom are two Irishmen working at the local sawmill. One day
Bill
slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw. Tom
quickly
puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Bill to the local
hospital.
Next day, Tom goes to the hospital and asks after Bill. The nurse
says, 'Oh
he's out in Rehab exercising'. Tom couldn't believe it, but here's
Bill out
the back exercising his now reattached arm. The very next day he's
back at
work in the saw mill.
Couple of days go by, and then Bill slips and severs his leg on
another
bloody big saw thing. So Tom puts the limb in a plastic bag and
rushes it
and Bill off to hospital.
Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is.
The nurse replies, 'He's out in the Rehab again exercising. And sure
enough,
here's Bill out there doing some serious work on the treadmill.
And Bill comes back to work.
But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and
severs
his head. Wearily Tom puts the head in a plastic bag and transports
it and
Bill to hospital.
Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Bill is. The nurse breaks
down
and cries and says, 'He's dead.'
Tom is shocked, but not surprised. 'I suppose the saw finally did
him in.'
'No,' says the nurse, 'Some dopey bastard put his head in a plastic
bag and
he suffocated.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All over the bed we did roam
I swear from my mouth I did foam
I was just fit to pop
When we both had to stop..
As a voice said "Hey honey, I'm home!!"
~~
A squeamish young fellow named Brand
Thought caressing his penis was grand.
But he viewed with distaste
The gelatinous paste
That it left in the palm of his hand.
Janet Jackson
She had something to get off her chest
And decided to make a clean breast
We assure you that Janet
Did not mean it or plan it
She just happened to wind up undressed
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The wax museum just acquired a very good wax figure of ex prez Bill
Clinton. They had it arranged to show him in an authoritative stance
in front of several staff members set on a stage made up like the
oval office. After the figure had been on display for a couple of
days, the museum employees were constantly having to go in and rezip
Bill's zipper, it kept falling to the 'down' position. They even
went so far as to sew it in place, but that too met with some foul
play, and the zipper was found ripped loose and in the down
position. So, to get to the bottom of this mystery, the museum
installed a hidden camera to catch the culprit. They did. and it
was more than just one. During the course of one day no less than 18
different women stepped into the exhibit, got down on their knees,
unzipped that zipper then placed their head on 'his' trousers and
had a friend snap their photo.
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1805
Rudyisms
From the Book of Rudy
I will protect my Family with my life.
I will protect my home and property with my life.
I will sleep on dad's bed.
I will camp out with dad and eat his nuts (cashews).
I will go with dad to the pub and tip a few brews.
I will watch football with dad.
I will play with Val until nine pm.
I will require tranquilizers when the weather turns bad.
I am the Alpha Male Dog.
I love my Sandi.
I will carry the cast iron skillet downstairs if it has food in it.
I will carry any dish, glass, whatever, but not break it, if it has
food in it.
I will swim in the lake.
I will play with the wood elves at night.
When I get old and before I die, I want to go to Katieworld.
This is all from my book... The book of Rudy
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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