THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I'M HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow. It has been a long week!
Hospitals are no fun, I can tell
you that. They had me in for almost a week
straight this time. Seems that I
have not been expelling the carbon
dioxide properly. (which can be a problem
with folks with emphasyma.) Eventually
the old body becomes saturated. The normal
person will attain no more than 30% dioxide,
but when they admitted me last week Tuesday eve,
I was at over 70. They used a cpap machine
to blow it all off. Now that I am home, it
seems that will be another regimin that I
will have to keep up with ...sigh. another
machine to use. just what I needed. Oh well.
life goes on. Thank you all so kindly for the
emails. You will forgive me if I do not answer
each and every one. I think last count there
were over 5000 of them in my mail box. and there
is only one of me. But rest assured,
I am glad you all missed me!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
THE COMICS
plucking
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c020.html
suckin face
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c021.html
supervisors desk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c022.html
sorry dear
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c023.html
impotence
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c024.html
no. no. no
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c025.html
full service
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c026.html
the leper colony
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c027.html
I don't know
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c028.html
Brenda
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c029.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES!
Bee Flys Up Reporters Skirt
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9725.html
Jimi Hendrix Tribute feat. Gary Moore - Foxey Lady
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9726.html
commercial toilet paper
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9727.html
kid is too short
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9728.html
Richard Simmons and Drew Carey
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9729.html
a woman on the moon?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9730.html
the uniform is important
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9731.html
_________________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
unique structures
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd138.html
firearms
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd139.html
clocks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd140.html
space shuttle
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd141.html
A husband and wife were out playing golf. They tee off
and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to
the left. The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She
grabs a club and takes a mighty wing at the ball. She
hits a beautiful second shot, but in the process she
hacks the hell out of the buttercups.
Suddenly a woman appears out of nowhere. She blocks
her path to her golf bag and looks at her and says,
"I'm Mother Nature, and I don't like the way you
treated my buttercups. From now on, you won't be able
to stand the taste of butter. Each time you eat butter
you will become physically ill to the point of total nausea."
The mystery woman then disappears as quickly as she
appeared.Shaken, the wife calls out to her husband, "Honey,
you won't believe what just happened."
Not seeing him in anywhere in sight she then calls
out "Where are you?"
"I'm over here in the pussy willows." he replies.
The wife screams back, "Whatever you do - DON'T HIT THAT
BALL!
_____________
WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get
married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!
WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would?"
HUSBAND: ?
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would you give her my jewellery?"
HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."
WIFE: "Would she wear my shoes?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's size 6."
WIFE: -- silence --
HUSBAND: "Damn."
___________
A man walks into a public men's room. His arms are
held awkwardly out to his sides, forearms hanging
limply, fingers spread apart. He approaches another
man and asks, "Excuse me, but could you please unzip
my fly?" The second fellow is embarrassed, but feels
sorry for the stranger, who appears to be crippled.
He thinks how humiliating it must be to have to ask
for help for something like this, so he complies,
unzipping the first man's pants. Next, the man asks
him to hold his member while he pees. The second guy
is even more embarrassed, but does as he is asked.
Finally, the first guy finishes, and the second man
starts to it back in his pants for him. "Oh, I can
take care of that," the first man says, blowing on his
fingers. "I think my nails are dry now."
_______________
Mario is planning to marry and asks his family doctor
how he could tell if his bride-to-be is still a virgin.
His doctor says, "Mario, all the Italian men I know
use three things for what we call a Do-It-Yourself
Virginity Test Kit.A small can of red paint, a small
can of blue paint and a shovel."
Mario asks, "And what do I do with these things, doc?"
The doctor replies, "Before you climb into bed on your
wedding night, you paint one of your balls red and the
other ball blue.If she says, `That's the strangest pair
of balls I've ever seen', you hit her with the shovel.'
____________
Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night
together in a hotel
room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.
The first thing Daisy asked was, 'Do you have a condom?'
Donald frowned and said, 'No.'Daisy told Donald that if
he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex.
'Maybe they sell them at the front desk,' she suggested.
So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk
if they had condoms.
'Yes, we do,' the clerk said and pulled a box out from under the
counter and gave it to Donald.
The clerk asked,
'Would you like me to put them on your bill?
'No!' Donald quacked, 'I'll thuffocate'
BUFFALO BILL
Soup Ad
http://www.buffaloschips.com/saDAWE.htm
Speed Isn't Everything
http://www.buffaloschips.com/SDFSA.htm
Sponsor an Executive
http://www.buffaloschips.com/DSAds.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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