Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is
Buffalo and I have the watch.
There is a problem out there on the net right now that you really
want to avoid and it has a name LoudMo. It does the usual obnoxious
things like massive pop-ups, hijacking search engines, dragging down
your processor but what makes this one special is that none of the
normal tools seem to be able to remove it. It is attached to
attractive free downloads like flash players, translators, and
programs to dress up your social networking pages. Unlike their
mainstream counterparts who also offer add-ons like Google and Bing
toolbars for example you are not offered a chance to opt-out of the
download. All you will see is a grayed out statement "The LoudMo
Contextual Ad Assistant gives you this great application for free by
displaying interstitials in text links, formatte browser address
requests and suggestion sliders."
When you try to remove this you find that it is well hidden and not
in add/remove programs, manage add-ons, or even by uninstalling the
program it was attached to so you are forced to search for the
program files and rip them out which could leave you with a boat
anchor instead of a computer if you tear the wrong thing out. Now I
am sure that there will be an answer soon from people like
Malware-bytes and SAS but for right now you have to read what you
are downloading and if it mentions LoudMo just leave it. These are
also popular with teenagers just as Smiley Central and Comet Cursor
were 5 years ago and you need to warn your children not to download
anything either.
This is really bothering me quite a bit, c much that when Adobe
Flash Player offered an update this morning I even read their EULA
and told them to stuff their Google toolbar.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Ad Chips
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The truth about car ads ...
If The Ad Reads - It Really Means
Rough condition - Too bad to lie about
Parts car - Beyond repair
Clean - Homeless dude at 5th and Main did the windows
Immaculate - Recently washed
Concours - Recently waxed
Good transportation - It's ugly
Engine quiet - Uses 90-weight oil
Needs minor overhaul - Needs engine
Needs major overhaul - Phone the junkyard
Burns no oil - It all leaks out
Rebuilt engine - Cleaned the spark plugs
Engine blueprinted - I don't know what it means either
Excellent gas mileage - It's slow
Low miles - The odometer was turned back
One owner - Can't give it away
Sure to appreciate - That's why I'm selling it
Drive it away - I live on a hill
Drive it anywhere - Within 10 miles
Desirable classic - No one wants it
Rare classic - No one wanted it even when it was new.
Stored 20 years - In a lake
Ran when stored - Won't start
Never apart - Bolts too rounded to loosen
Solid as a rock - Rusted solid
Best offer - I'm guessing here
Restored, with 0 miles - Won't start
Faster than a 'vette - A Chevette
Restored, with 2 miles - Won't stay running
Older restoration - First owner washed it
Good investment - Can't be worth much less
No time to restore it - Can't obtain parts
90% complete - You do the other 90%
95% complete - Other 5% doesn't exist
One owner - Hertz
Great enthusiasts car - I'm looking for a sucker
Good tires - And that's all
House forces sale - Neighbors complaining
Trades considered - I'm desperate
Other interests conflict - Spouse's ultimatum - "Either that
#!!@&## thing goes or I go!"
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
I'm not gay
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d017.html
hangin out the wash
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d018.html
woship
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d019.html
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Short Chips
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I come from a mixed marriage. My mother was a big, fat, ugly
Baptist who married a skinny, little Jewish guy from New York. They
divorced when I was 12, and she sat me down one day and told me, "In
19 years of marriage to your father, I never had an orgasm. Tell
me. Is that too much information for a 12-year old?" So I looked at
her and said, "Of course not. Jews don't eat pig." Mom and I were
never very close after that.
The redneck farmer was disturbed when he found out his son was
masturbating several times a day out in the barn. "Boy, you gotta
quit that! Go out and git yo'self a wife." So the boy went out and
found himself a pretty young girl, to whom he got married. But a
week or so after the wedding, the farmer found his son choking the
chicken again.
"You crazy boy!!" he yelled, "That Elli-Mae's a fine young gal!!" "I
know Paw," the boy replied, "but her arm gits tired sometimes!"
Creeping around to the bedroom window, the private detectives saw
their client's wife in bed with another man. "Just as I suspected,"
said the first. "Let's go in after him." "Great idea," the other
replied. "How soon do you think he'll be finished?"
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Crazy Critters - The plush toy with no stuffing in it that no dog
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Crazy Critters are strong, durable and realistic looking. They are
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Learn More
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Yawn Chips
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The drug clomipramine has been known to cause orgasms in yawning
patients.
This article sums it up quite nicely:
Some people prescribed an anti-depressant drug have found an
unexpected side effect: they have an orgasm when they yawn. The
drug clomipramine usually elevates mood and boosts physical activity
and appetite. However, the Canadian Journal of Psychiatry reports
four patients on the drug had orgasms on yawning.
"There is a small subset of people who are affected this way,"
commented Dr. Martin Godfrey, a London GP who has prescribed the
drug. "I understand they find this side effect quite pleasant."
One woman who took clomipramine told researchers it cured her
depression but she wanted to go on taking it because of its peculiar
properties. She found she could experience an orgasm even by
deliberate yawning. And a man who had also taken the pills said he
was "highly satisfied" with the drug's usefulness.
Around five per cent of clomipramine users report the side effect,
though for most people the drug inhibits the ability to reach
orgasm.
The New Scientist says that the drug's users have been comparing
notes on the Internet and speculating on its unusual consequences:
people who experience it would presumably seek out the most boring
person they could find at parties.
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Get More Info
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Short Chips
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Mark meets up with a friend on the street, and the friend can tell
Mark is really pissed. He asks him what the matter is. Mark
replies, "The people at Victorias Secret are SO rude. There I am in
their store and I'm trying to buy some panties for my lady, and I'm
picking some out...
and the manager asks me to leave!! All I was trying to do was
decide which ones I liked. So - I took the panties out of my mouth
and took my business elsewhere."
Seeing my 11-year-old perusing a website filled with photos of
Britney Spears, I commented, "She certainly is pretty. Which
picture do you like best?"
"I don't know," he mumbled, embarrassed by his newfound interest in
girls. "I'm just reading about her."
I came closer and peered at the screen. "Oh, really?" I said. "So
when did you learn to read Spanish?"
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ScrewedChips
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You know you're totally screwed when....
.... you've got to write a paper on Edgar Allan Poe's sunny optimism
.... you wrapped the Christmas gifts and can't remember the one for
your wife from the one for your girlfriend
.... your doctor insists on bringing her own loved one into the
consultation room before giving you your diagnosis
.... your "literary" date thinks Baudelaire is a room freshener
.... your "Houston, we've got a problem" distress call is taken
by a guy whose only response before disconnecting is, "Who doesn't,
bub?"
.... the movie you're watching with the little league team you
coach -- which you thought was a biopic of Japanese baseball
legend Sadaharu Oh -- turns out to be "The Story of O"
.... you bump into Alfred E Newman -- and he's worried
.... your craigslist ad offering philatelist services is generating
a slew of responses, none of which has anything at all to do with
stamps
.... your name appears in the Urban Dictionary attached to the
definition of "Droonkenbloggen"
.... the guy who stole your identity begs you to take it back
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Jesse Taylor
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/V/O_JT.htm
carolyn w/ She's Not You ~Elvis Presley
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/elvis/shesnotyou.html
John w/ I Want You, I Need You, I Love You
http://heavens-gates.com/elvis/iwantyou/
Beautiful Bridges
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bridges.html
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Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
http://buffaloschips.com/scoop
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Surfin Surfari
Mary Celeste Via Wesley
http://www.maryceleste.net/
Carol w/Music in My Soul
http://www.carolspoetry.com/mysoul.html
When Condiments go Bad
http://backtable.org/~blade/fnord/condiments.html
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschips.com/kit
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv) Via Wesley
Analyze Your Website's Traffic
http://www.woopra.com/
Portable Software For Wherever You Go [Windows]
http://www.liberkey.com/en/
Accurate PDF To Word Converter
http://www.pdftoword.com/
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschips.com/date
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.iaadp.org/
Kitty Korner
Carol w/Purrfect Friend
http://www.carolspoetry.com/purr.html
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We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
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You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
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Movie Links
To All Sports Loving Men This Guy Is a Genuis
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6255.htm
Toilet Seat Sign
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6256.htm
Tom Mabe
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6257.htm
Tomato PSA
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6258.htm
Toot Tone
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6259.htm
Topless Wife Training
http://www.buffaloschips.com/62510.htm
Swallowing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdsfsd.htm
Swimming
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gerg.htm
szambr
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hyth.htm
Telissa
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dfgytik.htm
Texan Gun Control Witness
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kijld.htm
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Albino Chips
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Maury is sent from South Africa to Darkest Africa to live with a
primitive tribe. He spends years with the tribe, teaching them
reading, writing, math, and science. One day the wife of the
tribe's chief gives birth to a white child.
The members of the tribe are shocked, and the chief pulls Maury
aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever
seen, and this woman gave birth to a white child. It doesn't take a
genius to figure out what happened!"
The professor replied, "No, chief. You're mistaken. What you have
here is a natural occurrence...what we in the educated world call an
albino!
Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except
for one black one. Nature does this on occasion."
The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Tell you what. You
don't say anything more about the sheep, and I won't say anything
more about the baby."
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Toon Chips
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cheating bitch
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jfkldl;sl.htm
cheerleader2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjfkljgg.htm
cheerleaders
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kbkcjvgklnhvg.htm
chess
http://www.buffaloschips.com/nmc,nbvcm,vkbncv.htm
cheese burger
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjfkhjfglkhfg.htm
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DogPedic - Memory Foam Bed for Dogs
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This offer is not available in stores.
Order your DogPedic today.
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Limerick Chips
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"I'll admit," said a lady called Barr,
"That a penis is like a cigar;
But, in general, to people
A phallic church steeple
Is stretching the subject too far."
______________________________
There was a young girl named O'Malley
Who wanted to dance in the ballet.
She got roars of applause
When she kicked off her drawers
But her hair and her bush didn't tally.
_______________________________
A Salvation lassie named Claire
Was having her first love affair.
As she climbed into bed
She reverently said,
"I wish to be opened with prayer."
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Personalized "Man Cave" Gifts for Father's Day!
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Parting Chips
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I took a job at a bookstore once. The store prided itself on
customer service, and one thing we were taught there was not to tell
customers, "Have a nice day," after we rang them out, purportedly
because it sounded shallow and insincere.
Instead, we were supposed to say, "Enjoy your books."
So one day a woman comes up to my register with a copy of Yellow
Silk ("Journal of Erotic Arts"), Nancy Friday's "My Secret Garden:
Women's Sexual Fantasies," and Betty Dodson's "Sex for One: The Joy
of Selfloving."
I said, "Have a nice day."
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
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Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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