Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Mark wrote, Have you ever seen the Tonkin gulf sea bat?
buffalo says We had a couple of " Old Salts " that did a real
good presentation of the Sea Bat. They had a box with the
top folded closed and in it was a couple of small cans of
beans and wieners from the Geedunk. They would wait till
the berthing compartment was closed after lunch for field
day and have the victims sent there one at a time. There
would be some people in a circle around the guy with the
box which supposedly contained a freshly caught Sea Bat.
He would shake the box causing the cans to bang against
the box like a wild animal, trying to claw its way out. He
would set the box on the floor and ask the mark if he
wanted too see the bat. Amidst warnings that the bat was
quick and vicious the mark bent over to lift the lid of the box
and someone behind him would hit him in the butt with a
broom or a mop..
As for myself, I may have seen it in a movie or read about
it in a book but it was just so obvious what the outcome was
supposed to be and I called them on it and then sat around and
watched as they pulled it on another half dozen people. I
did do my share of stupid things in the Navy but the Sea Bat
was not one of them.
Enjoy the chips ... buffalo
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Question Chips
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Questions Answered
The Challenge in the London Globe and Mail was to provide a
question; then the answer defined by the question. Here are some of
the better entries submitted.
Q ~ How do you feel about hyperbole?
A ~ Super fantastic!
Q ~ So you think God is a paradox?
A ~ Well, he is and he isn't.
Q ~ What is a distraction?
A ~ A distraction is..oh look! A bird.
Q ~ What does paranoid mean?
A ~ Why do you ask? Say, who sent you anyway?
Q ~ What does a dominatrix do for a living?
A ~ Beats me.
Q ~ What does condescending mean?
A ~ Sit down and I'll explain it to you in simple terms you can
understand.
Q ~ What's a novel?
A ~ Well, you see, it's kind of a long story.
Q ~ What is perception?
A ~ What's it to you?
Q ~ Is that a cul-de-sac?
A ~ No way.
Q ~ Do you ever wonder what eternity means?
A ~ All the time.
Q ~ Are you an agnostic?
A ~ I don't believe so.
Q ~ What does ambiguous mean?
A ~ Could mean anything, I guess.
Q ~ Do you worship regularly?
A ~ Yes. Religiously
Stan Kegel
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Bull Chips
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A salesman's car breaks down, so he asks a farmer
to let him spend the night, and the farmer agrees.
In the middle of the night, the salesman wakes up
and is really thirsty, so he decides to go to the barn
and get some milk from a cow.
Soon, the farmer hears noises coming from the barn
and goes to investigate. He then sees the salesman
coming out of the barn soaking wet and with a white
liquid dripping down his face. The farmer asks, "What
happened to you?"
The salesman says, "I just got thirsty, so I milked your
cow. It was so dark in there I don't know how I did it.
But I'm telling you, that cow has great milk! I must have
drank a gallon of it!"
The farmer then stares at him with a puzzled look and
says, "But we don't have a cow. We just have the bull..."
Randy
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Bunny Chips
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Billy, a little bunny rabbit, was hopping down the field, when he
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bastard, who are you?"
The sheep replied, "I'm a sheep, and you're not a little dirty
bastard, you're a bunny."
Billy just shook his head and continued on his merry way, looking at
the clouds and smelling the flowers as he hopped along the field.
Soon he met a goat. Hopping up to the goat, he said, "I'm a little
dirty bastard, who are you?"
The goat replied "I'm a goat, and you're not a little dirty bastard,
you're a bunny."
Billy just shook his head and continued on his merry way, looking at
the clouds and smelling the flowers as he hopped along the field.
Then he met a horse.
Hopping up to the horse, he said, "I'm a little dirty bastard, who
are you?"
The horse replied "I'm a horse, and you're not a little dirty
bastard, you're a bunny."
Billy just shook his head and continued on his merry way, looking at
the clouds and smelling the flowers as he hopped along the field.
Eventually, as Billy hopped along, he came across the cutest,
prettiest little girl bunny that you have ever met. She knocked his
socks off. Billy hops up to her, cleared his throat, and said, "I'm
a little dirty bastard, who are you?"
She looked at him, smiled and said, "My name is Christeen, and I'm a
little bunny. What's your name?
Why do you say you're a little dirty bastard?"
Billy said, "My name is Billy, and I am a little dirty bastard.
Everyone says so."
Christeen turned her pretty little nose up into the air, and said,
"If you can't talk decently, go away!" And so saying she turned
around and started to eat some grass.
Billy hopped on and shagged her like crazy.
Christeen jumped up and said, "Why, you little dirty bastard!"
Whereupon, Billy smiled and hopped away.
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Summer Chips
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It was the first day of the school year, and an elementary teacher
was trying to get to know her students.
"What did you do this summer?" the teacher asked Suzie.
"Me and my family went to the beach a lot," Suzie answered.
"That sounds like fun," said the teacher. "How about you, Emma?
What did you do this summer?"
"Me and my family rode our bikes together."
"That sounds lovely," said the teacher. She continued with all her
pupils until she got to shy Mikey in the corner of the room.
"What did you do this summer, Mikey?"
"Nothing," the boy responded timidly.
"Did you do anything with your family?" the teacher asked, try to
draw Mikey out.
"Yes."
"Did you go to the beach?"
"No."
"Did you ride bikes?"
"No, never!" the boy burst out. "We can never ride bikes together!"
"Why not?" said the shocked teacher.
"I don't know," explained Mikey, "but dad always said, when mom and
sis start 'cycling together', it's time to get the hell out of
town."
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Graphics Links
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Which Search Engine is Better Test ?
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Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Swan
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Texas Shoot Out
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Things Men Will Do For A Cold Beer
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Retired Chips
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Upon reaching 65, I decided to retire. After having me under
foot for a few months, my wife became very agitated with me. She
suggested I go and do something to occupy my time, like join a club
or
get a hobby. I obliged and went out for a couple of hours.
When I got home my wife asked about my day and I replied, "Oh, I
just
went down to the park and hung out with the guys. And oh yeah,
I joined a parachute club.
"What? Are you nuts? You're 65 years old and you're going to
start jumping out of airplanes?"
"Yeah, look I even got a membership card."
"You crazy old coot, where's your glasses! This is a membership to
a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!"
"Oh, great! Now what am I going to do? I signed up for 5 jumps
a week!"
Gordon
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Limerick Chips
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"No bananas," she said, with a sigh,
And a tear trickled down from her eye.
"No cukes, no zucchinis,
No Oscar Meyer weenies,
I'll have to go find me a guy."
_____________________________
My dental hygienist, Faye Ray,
Said, "Travis, eat pussy each day;
Your gums will be stronger,
Your teeth will last longer,
'Cause pussy prevents tooth decay!"
_____________________________
Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep,
And doesn't know where to find 'em...
But a search revealed,
They were out in the field,
With Little Boy Blue behind 'em.
<Snagged by>
Ross
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Parting Chips
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A little Johnny asks his dad: what's that between mom's legs called?
The father answers: paradise, my son .
Johnny asks again: what's that thing between your legs called?
The father replies: the key to the paradise
Little Johnny says: piece of advice dad, change the lock, the next
door neighbor has a copy and he's been making trips to paradise!
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1812
Tami's Annual Marathon
Val: So what is this marathon thingie?
Katie: This is where we help Tami try to win.
Sandi: Yes, the first year Katie won by trying to help Tami win.
Val: I do not understand.
Katie shuffling her feet: It was an accident.
Sandi: I was the announcer and will be again.
Rudy: We try to help her with fluids and such.
Rudy snickering: Remember last year when we by accident gave her
ex-lax?
Katie: It made her run faster.
Sandi: But stop more often.
To be continued
The herd in Guthrie
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Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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