Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is
Buffalo and I have the watch.
Buffy took Eva to McDonalds last week and bought her a Mcnugget
Happy Meal and a Shrek glass. Glass was a
1.99 and was part of the Shrek Forever series of four glasses.
McDonalds just issued a recall on these glasses because of a trace
amount of cadmium in the pain on the glass. Even though McDonalds
is downplaying the incident, cadmium is an extremely toxic heavy
metal that is like mercury, a cumulative poison that s difficult for
the body to remove and although it is unavoidable to consume a small
amount from nature, like lead and mercury you are going to be a lot
better off consuming none. McDonald's has promised to come up with
a plan for refunds by the 8th and will be posting it on their
website. You could also start a Toxic Toys collection or if you
bought the set give them to someone you don't really like for their
birthday.
I got one other question about Shrek Happy Meals, not having seen
any of the Shrek movies myself. Eva got two toys in her Happy Meals
and I am wondering what they have to do with Shrek. The first was a
Gingerbread man that when you yank real hard on his arms he says
something. This teaches your child gingerbread abuse or what? The
second toy was a Rumplestiltskin talking figure that you have to
bang his feet on a hard surface three or four times before he says
something.
The phrase, " We have ways of making you talk." comes to mind.
I admit that talking toys are probably more popular with the kids
than stuffed bears but couldn't they put a small button on them to
activate the message. There is nothing worse than trying to put a
sleeping child to bed and then trying to tiptoe out of the room and
setting off a dozen talking toys laying around, waking the child up,
and having to start all over again. It is also pretty spooky when
these things go off at random in the middle of the night.
Just something to ponder. If next year we all went out and bought
electric cars, who would pay for the upkeep on roads that is paid
for by the motor fuel tax? Obviously they will have to tax the
electricity used in cars but I wonder if they are just going to make
everybody pay for it in their electric bills or maybe make you pay a
user's fee each time you register your vehicle. In our state that
would be about 3 cents per mile or an additional 300.00 a year
figuring 10,000 miles.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Valentine Chips
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Loving Valentines from Us Gals to You Guys You say you'ld like to
screw me. You say I make you drool But when it comes to making love
you suck and I'd rather use my mechanical tool.
You understand how to make me moan, how to make me squirm But when
it comes to your dick; it feels more like a little worm.
Size DOES matter. I don't care what they say So please do both of
us a favor and just go away.
Making love should be grand. It should make my heart to thump But
all I usually get out of it is just feeling you hump!
Our relationship is over, it's kaput, its at the very end You're a
really bad fuck. I'm moving on to you best friend.
I've had relationships before boyfriends one and two They're dead
now, but their still better at making love than you.
You get it up, you put in, you go off and then you pull it out I'll
never have sex with you again you shitty lout!
Broad shoulders you have; a small waist and a really nice firm ass
But you're too much in love with yourself so I think I'll have to
pass.
Having sex with you has left me empty and bitter I'd rather do it
with the ugly guy next door .
I'm his baby sitter.
I'd like to have sex with you. You're built like a big stud horse
But you're so damn ugly; I'd have to put a paper bag over your face
of course.
I wouldn't mind having sex with you. You're tender, gentle and kind
But when someone's so ugly that it'd take two bags . that's where I
draw the line!
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Freezing Penguins
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French Army Knife
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French Fry
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Impotent Chips
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Euphemisms For Impotence
15. 180 degrees shy of heaven
14. Performing with Flacido Domingo
13. A few parts shy of an erector set
12. Sch-wing and a miss
11. Not rising to the level of impeachable offense
10. The Null Monte
9. Disappointing Miss Daisy
8. Taking the gold at the Lake Flaccid Olympics
7. Ascension Deficit Disorder
6. Bouncing the Check of Love
5. Less-than-Magic Johnson
4. All Doled up with nowhere to go
3. Welcome to Flaccid City. Population: You
2. Serving boneless pork
1. Unleavened Man-Bread
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She Chips
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TERMS FOR FEMALE MASTURBATION
5 Digit Disco
Backslappin' Betty
Buffing the box
Buffing the jewel
Buttering up the whisker biscuit
Damming the beaver
Diddling miss daisy
Diggin' for clams
Digitis Erectus
Fingering the fountain
Friday night lip service
Frosting the muffin of love
Giving yourself the finger
Going for the gooey duct
Lip smacking
Menage a'moi
Petting the kitty
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hiking Chips
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THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY....but aren't! (Snowfall Edition...
- I got over nine inches last night.
- Man, that white stuff is covering everything. I can barely see my
own car!
- I love when it lands on my tongue.
- Go on. Lick that pole. I dare ya.
- I got so wet playing with it.
- Don't rub that in your sister's face!
- Dammit! You got it all over my new pants.
- It's even soaked through my shoes.
- This isn't the soft, fluffy kind. It's hard, wet and you can pack
it down.
- Once it gets all dirty and mushy, I get sick just looking at it.
- Sometimes when I get hot, I rub some down my neck.
- My children love rolling in it, but I make them wear gloves so
they don't catch anything.
- It's so deep now, you can tunnel through it.
- Don't yell too loudly. It'll all come down and cover you. We'll
have to call in some dogs.
- Don't put your tongue on it or it'll get stuck. You want your Mom
to see you like that?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Snow Chips
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THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY....but aren't! (Snowfall Edition...
- I got over nine inches last night.
- Man, that white stuff is covering everything. I can barely see my
own car!
- I love when it lands on my tongue.
- Go on. Lick that pole. I dare ya.
- I got so wet playing with it.
- Don't rub that in your sister's face!
- Dammit! You got it all over my new pants.
- It's even soaked through my shoes.
- This isn't the soft, fluffy kind. It's hard, wet and you can pack
it down.
- Once it gets all dirty and mushy, I get sick just looking at it.
- Sometimes when I get hot, I rub some down my neck.
- My children love rolling in it, but I make them wear gloves so
they don't catch anything.
- It's so deep now, you can tunnel through it.
- Don't yell too loudly. It'll all come down and cover you. We'll
have to call in some dogs.
- Don't put your tongue on it or it'll get stuck. You want your Mom
to see you like that?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Waiting
http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/LoveRom2/Waiting.html
BRIGHTEN YOUR CORNER
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Rattlesnake
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Surfin Surfari
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Share your Doodles On - Line !
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Are You Bored
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Microsoft Search Engine Via Wesley
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Windows Driver Guide
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Driverzone
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
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Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
Peek-A-Boo Panda
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Movie Links
Saddam The Unseen Video
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Santa Shopping
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Saudi
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Schweaty Balls
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Scotsman's Song
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If my nose was running money
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Important Message
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Impossible
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Jet Engine
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John McCain
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Short Chips
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One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she
notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden. "You're a
goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So
the
goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first
wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge
mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". Woman
again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've
got
that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then
says
"OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to
have
sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..." Next
morning the little man wakes the woman up. "Tell me," says the man,
"how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies "Fuck me", says the man,
"27
and you still believe in goblins"
A girl was telling her date about her old boyfriend, and while doing
so was stroking her beer bottle up and down many times. Finally her
date has had enough and says, " You're always thinking about him.
Why
don't you think about me once in a while?" "OK!" she says and starts
stroking the top two inches of her bottle.
Johnny says, "Hey Dad! What are you doing?" His father answers,
"I'm
filling your mother's tank." Johnny then says,"Oh, yeah? Well, you
should get a model that gets better mileage. The milkman filled her
this morning."
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Toon Chips
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bad cat
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cat batteries
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cat carrier
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cat doggy style
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cat enlarger
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Limerick Chips
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There was a young student called Jones,
Who'd reduce any maiden to moans,
By his wonderful knowledge,
Acquired in college,
Of nineteen erogenous zones.
_________________________________
There was a young fellow of Harrow
Whose john was the size of a marrow.
He said to his tart,
"How's this for a start?
My balls are outside in a barrow."
_________________________________
There was a young bishop from Trest,
Who openly practiced incest.
"My sisters and nieces,
Are all dandy pieces,
And don't cost a cent," he confessed.
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Parting Chips
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Try this test. Scroll down and do the quiz as it instructs and find
out what
movie is your favorite. It really works! This amazing math quiz can
likely
predict which of 18 films you would enjoy the most. Don't ask me
how.
Pick a number from 1-9.
Multiply by 3.
Add 3.
Multiply by 3 again.
Now add the two digits together to find your predicted favorite
movie in the
list of 18 movies below.
Mine was "Star Wars" - exactly right! So be honest, and do it before
you
scroll down to see the list below. It's easy and it works.
Now look up your number in the list below...
1. Gone With The Wind
2. E.T.
3. Beverly Hills Cop
4. Star Wars
5. Forrest Gump
6. The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
7. Jaws
8. Grease
9. The Joy of Anal Sex With A Goat
10. Casablanca
11. Jurassic Park
12. Shrek
13. Pirates of the Caribbean
14. Titanic
15. Raiders Of The Lost Ark
16. Home Alone
17. Mrs. Doubtfire
18. Toy Story
It is really amazing, isn't it?
Randy
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1806
The Book of Sandi
Thou Shalt have no other before my Daddy
Thou Shalt not take my Daddy's name in vain
I Shall sleep with my Daddy every night
I Shall follow my Daddy when he is at home
You will not come between me and my food
When I hunt, I eat what I kill
I will defend my Daddy to the Death
I love my Rudy
I love being a mother
I love my home
I love my family
The herd in Guthrie
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Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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