Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
It's almost 1900 and no lists out for today yet. Fridays are always
bad. It seems that anything like shopping trips, my TOPS Meetings,
or trips to the doctor on Thursday put me behind schedule and it
bleeds over onto Fridays and I had all three of those things to do
yesterday. It didn't help that Eva was camped out on the computer
when I got home and didn't get off until midnight and by that time
I was watching the Korean War Movie Festival on TMC. The movies
were mostly black and white and I had seen them all before but
these people are like old friends from my childhood but more
importantly it refreshes our memories on issues that still exist
today
like identifying the enemy when they are related to the good guys,
fighting a Police Action instead of a war, and even outspoken
generals
commenting on the way their President wanted to run things. These
things didn't start with Afghanistan, Bosnia, or even Vietnam but
back in Korea.
For anyone interested my doctor confirmed Eva's diagnosis and
I am fairly normal My blood is properly thinned with just the right
amount of glucose attached to my hemoglobin, and my potassium
is normal. In other words the rat poison is working, my diabetes
is under control even with occasional ice cream and cookies, and my
kidneys and liver is working normally. I hate that I have to take 12
pills a day and watch my diet to be normal but it is better than the
other options and there are so many in the herd that wish they had
my good health.
Have a great weekend ... buffalo
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Little Johnny Chips
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Little Johnny runs into the living room one day and says, "Mom, why
has Granny got a shrimp between her legs?"
"Don't be silly; Granny hasn't got a shrimp between her legs!" his
mother replies.
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Little Johnny drags his mother into grandma's room where, being a
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clothes on. Little Johnny drags his mother to the end of the bed
and points between Granny's legs. "Look I told you so" he says.
"See the little shrimp!"
His mother calmly decides she had better explain. "OK, Johnny, I
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"That's funny" retorts Little Johnny "It tastes like shrimp..."
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Short Chips
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Bob was such a womanizer. Everywhere he went, he
was always hitting on women. True to his form, he
was at a department store one afternoon and was
attracted to one of the saleswomen and proceeded
to see if she would go out with him that evening.
She snapped at him, "I know your type. You think
you can take me for drinks, and then try to get
me back to your apartment, and then get me in to
your bed. I can read you like a book."
Bob just smiled and said, "Well then, don't miss Chapter
5, it's a doozie."
~~
"And what was the culmination of events that led
you to file this action?" asked the man's
attorney in the divorce hearing.
"All through our marriage my wife was less than
fully responsive to my sexual initiatives,"
replied the husband, "but the clincher came one
morning at the breakfast table."
"Why? What happened?"
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up, I'm already beginning to get a headache.'"
Betty's girlfriend was relating, "Well after over
a half hour of pretty heavy making out, I asked
him, "Are you ready for some oral sex now?'"
Betty commented, "Oh wow, I bet he jumped at that suggestion?"
Her friend said, "Yeah he did, but he damn nearly
fell off the couch when I said, 'Good ! ... then
you can go home and call me.'"
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Buga Chips
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This joke was handed down through 37 generations of buffalos Three
guys go the Amazon on a vacation. While there they fool around, get
lost, and are captured by a tribe of bad ass natives. They are
taken into the deepest, darkest part of the jungle and tied onto
poles in an opening.
After night had fallen and a huge bonfire was blazing, all the tribe
members assembled and began chanting and making merry in
anticipation of a great evenings fun at the expense of our three
vacationers.
Suddenly, a hush falls over the crowd - the Chief had arrived! He
goesover to the first guy tied to a pole and asks, "DEATH, or Uga
Buga?"
The guy, not knowing what it is, answers that he'll take the Uga
Buga.
the crowd breaks into an uproar! Eight of the biggest, strongest
and most virulent savages step out of the crowd, take the guy loose
from his pole, bend him over a log and sodomize him for 30 minutes.
The crowd is elated!
The Chief walks over to the second guy, and asks "DEATH or Uga
Buga?"
The second guy looks at the first guy, still gasping for breath and
writhing on the ground, and swallows hard. He thinks to himself, "I
don't know if I can take that or not, but I'm too young to die." He
also chooses Uga Buga!
Again, the crowd erupts in glee. Eight more savages emerge from the
crowd, take the second gut off his pole, and sodomize him for 45
minutes!
The third guy is in a real sweat! The king approaches him and asks
"DEATH or Uga Buga?"
The third guy looks over at the first two guys. It is not a pretty
sight. He swallows hard and answers "DEATH!"
The Chief is astounded! With a very puzzled look he replies, "OK,
DEATH! DEATH BY UGA BUGA!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Shrimp Chips
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A man was sitting on a London train eating a bag of fresh shrimp,
ripping off the heads and shells and then throwing them out of the
window.
After he had gobbled a few of them down a woman opposite him said,
"Would you mind not doing that? It's disgusting to watch."
"Listen, love," He replied, "It's got nothing to do with you, I've
paid my fare for this journey and I'll do what I damn well want on
this train."
He carried on ripping off the shells, throwing them out of the
window and eating the shrimp. Finally he finished the bag and
settled back for a little sleep.
The woman then started some knitting and all the man could hear
while he was trying to sleep was the incessant clicking of her
knitting needles.
After a while, he sits back up and says to the woman, "Could you
stop that noise, can't you see I'm trying to sleep?"
"It's got nothing to do with you," replies the woman, "I've paid my
fare and I'll do what I want on this train."
At that, the man grabbed the woman's knitting and threw it out of
the window. The woman immediately stood up and pulled the train
alarm cord.
The man burst out laughing and said, "Ha ha, you'll get fined $200
for that!"
To which the old woman replied, "And you'll get six years after the
police smell your fingers."
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Coyote Chips
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"Late again," the third-grade teacher said to little Sammy.
"It ain't my fault, Miss Crabtree. You can blame this on my dad.The
reason I'm three hours late? Dad sleeps nights in the raw!"
Now Miss Crabtree had taught grammar school for thirty-some-odd
years.
So she asked little Sammy what he meant by that, despite her
mounting fears.
Full of grins and mischief and in the flower of his youth little
Sammy and trouble were old friends, but he always told the truth.
"You see, Miss Crabtree, at the ranch we got this here lowdown
coyote. The last few nights he done et six hens and killed Ma's
best milk goat. And last night when Dad heard a noise out in the
chicken pen he grabbed his gun and said to Ma, "That coyote's back
again, I'm a gonna git him!'"
"'Stay back," he yelled to all us kids, "I wouldn't want ya hurt!'
He was naked as a jaybird, no boots, no pants, no shirt! To the
henhouse he crawled, just like an Injun on the snoop. Then he stuck
that double barrel through the window of the coop.
As he stared into the darkness with coyotes on his mind,our old
hound dog Zeke had done woke up and come a sneakin' up behind Dad.
Then we all looked on plumb helpless as Dad was cold-nosed without
warnin'."
"Miss Crabtree, we been cleanin' chickens since three o'clock this
mornin'!"
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Through The Veil
http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/LoveRom3/Veil.html
Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week
http://ministry-webs.com/ministry/brotherbob/index.html
Single Dad
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/singledad.htm
Thoughts Into Action!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/action.html
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Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
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Surfin Surfari
Shipwreck discovered, Lake Michigan Via Olive
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IRS Withholding Calculator
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High Tech Toys
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/techtoys.html
Just Thinking
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Spam Laws
http://spamlaws.com/site_map.html
The Best Free Internet Multiplayer Game Via Wesley
http://us.runesofmagic.com/us/index.html
Replacing Motherboard Batteries
http://www.hardwaresecrets.com/article/81
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
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Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
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Animal World
Doggie Zone Via Dianne
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http://www.akc.org/index.cfm?nav_area=homeage
Kitty Korner
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Movie Links
Foul Ball
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Fox Hat
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Fragrance
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French Anti Tank
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Friendly Dolphin
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For The Lazy Sports Fanatic
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Fox Thief
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Freak out. No Whopper
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Fred Astaire & Eleanor Powell
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Friends Come and Go
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News Chips
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No charges for Canadian woman Marika De Florio who flashed boy, 5
over dispute
NAKED ANGER
A CANADIAN woman has sparked controversy after settling a
neighbourhood noise dispute by flashing her breasts at a
five-year-old boy.
Marika De Florio, 56, said the boy was driving her mad by driving a
loud all-terrain vehicle past her house, the Toronto Sun reported.
She decided to go topless in the street so that the boy's
grandparents would be forced to call him inside.
The raunchy tactic did the trick but horrified Mike and Nancy Berry,
who called the police in Seeley's Bay, Ontario, to report her.
"I'm not happy with what has been going on," Mr Berry said.
"It isn't right to go around topless in front of kids."
Ms De Florio said she resorted to bearing her breasts because police
were ignoring her complaints about the "maddening" noise.
She vowed to repeat the tactic every time the boy played with the
noisy toy.
"I'm going mental," she told the Toronto Sun.
"I can't breathe and I'm not moving, but I need some peace.
"I can't believe I did this, but they pulled the kid inside and then
called police because of their small town mentality."
Police said that Ms De Florio was not doing anything illegal as
Canadian law permits women to go topless in public as long as they
are not doing so for commercial gain or being overtly sexual.
From
Devo
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Toon Chips
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come together
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complain1
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Limerick Chips
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There was a young girl named O'Malley
Who wanted to dance in the ballet.
She got roars of applause
When she kicked off her drawers
But her hair and her bush didn't tally.
The model climbed up the ladder,
As Titian, the painter, had bade her
Then her position
Suggested coition,
So he climbed up the ladder and had her
There Was A Young Lass Of Decatur
Who Went Off To Sea On A Freighter.
She Was Screwed By The Master,
An Utter Disaster,
But The Crew All Made Up For It Later.
There Was A Young Lass Of Decatur
Who'd Become A Wild Masturbater.
''Men Are Miss or Hit
When Tickling My Clit,
That I've Purchased A Big New Vibrator.
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Parting Chips
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A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that
her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not
sure that it was such a good idea. The doctor asked, "Do you enjoy
it?" She said that she did. He asked, "Does it hurt you?" She said
that it didn't. The doctor then told her, "Well, then, there is no
reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that is what you
like, as long as you take care not to get pregnant." The woman was
mystified. She asked, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?" The
doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think Fox News commentators
come from?"
buffalo says I would have used MSNBC but that is just a personal
preference.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1824
The Race is Won
....Not by Tami
Tami officially came in at 1,065th out of 1,065. She had coffee,
slept for
a few hours and finally sobered up and walked across the finish line
after most everyone had left.
Sandi/Val/Rudy were there applauding.
Rob: Good show. You almost won.
Tami: I came in last.
Rob: You came within ten feet of winning.
Tami: Oh well, there is next year.
Rudy blushing: With real orange juice.
Katie comes by and grabs Tami by the arm and they walk off to the
sunset.
Rob: Look at them a couple of warriors. They did well.
Rudy: Are they drinking some more of that spiked Orange Juice?
Val: I can barely see them, but I think they have tossed their
tops.
Rob: Oh no!!!
The end
The herd in Guthrie/Caldwell
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Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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