Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I got up this morning and called the doctor's office and scheduled
an appointment. Seems I skipped doing it last month and now I
will probably catch hell for it. He never really complains, he just
digs up a few uncomfortable tests for me to go through in another
county.
Anyhow, I am sitting here this afternoon and Eva comes along
with her Dora animal rescue gear and sticks a play thermometer in
my ear. She pulled it out, looked at it and then puts a stethoscope
on and puts it up against the right side of my chest and says, "
Oh-oh "
I told her, "Hey my heart's on the other side." and she walked
around
and put the stethoscope on the other side of my chest and says, "
You're
ok." and walks off.
I feel a lot better after the results of her exam but I think I'll
still go to my
appointment. It's nice to have a second opinion.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Drink Chips
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The old smelly drunk ambled in to the bar and
asked for his usual pint of Guinness and after
the barkeep got it for the drunk, he thought,
"Lets have some fun."
He asked the drunk if he would like to taste the
new drink he was trying to perfect. Of course the
drunk was not one to refuse a free drink, and he
replied "Sure."
The bartender then proceeded to shake up a batch
and poured the drunk a glass. The drunk took a
swig and downed it, smacked his lips and said
"Thanks"
T barkeep said, "what did you think? Do you have a name for that
drink?"
The drunk replied "I drank it so fast cause I was
dry, could you give me another?"
The barkeep poured another and said to drink it
slow and then give it a name. The drunk took a
sip swirled it around and swallowed it, then
another, finally draining the glass, licked his
lips and replied "I think you ought to call it
"Love by the Sea"
The barkeep was amazed by the insight put forth
by the drunk so he asked him "Where did you come
up with such a thoughtful name?"
To which the drunk replied, "Cause it's fucking near water!"
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
smoking
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romanticism
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I told you
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joe was hanging in a bar and his friends asked him if he had scored
lately. Joe told his friends man I picked up this chick the other
night and had the best sex ever, the only problem was she was a
total Butterface!
His friends asked him, "What the heck is a Butterface?"
Joe answered, "Everything about her was hot, BUT HER FACE I pulled
into a town I couldn't believe still existed in the year
2000. A dusty, dirt road, a little old wooden store that actually
said "General Store", and that was it. There was a little old man
sitting in front of the store in a rocking chair......
I said to him, "What do you folks do around here?"
He said, "We don't do nothin' but hunt n' fuck."
I said, "What do you hunt?"
He said, "Somethin' to fuck."
A man wanted to determine if both his wife and mistress were
faithful o him. So he decided to send them on the same cruise, then
later question each one on the other's behavior. When his wife
returned, he asked her about the people on the trip in general, then
casually asked her about the specific behavior of the passenger he
knew to be his mistress. "She slept with nearly every manon the
ship," his wife reported.
The disheartened man then rendezvoused with his cheating mistress to
ask her the same questions about his wife.
"She was a real lady," his mistress said.
"How so?" the encouraged man asked.
She came on board with her husband and never left his side."
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Meaning Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Statement: "I'm a Romantic."
True Meaning: "I'm poor."
Statement: "I need you."
True Meaning: "My hand is tired."
Statement: "I am different from all the other guys."
True Meaning: "I am not circumcised."
Statement: "I want a commitment."
True Meaning: "I'm sick of masturbation."
Statement: "You're the only girl I've ever cared about."
True Meaning: "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."
Statement: "I really want to get to know you better."
True Meaning: "So I can tell my friends about it."
Statement: "It's just orange juice, try it."
True Meaning: "Three more shots, and she'll have her legs around my
head."
Statement: "She's kinda cute."
True Meaning: "I wouldn't kick her out of bed but a pillow over the
head might be necessary."
Statement: "I don't know if I like her."
True Meaning: "She won't sleep with me."
Statement: "I miss you so much."
True Meaning: "I am so horny that my male roommate is starting to
look good."
Statement
: "Was it good for you?"
True Meaning: "I'm insecure about my manhood."
Statement: "How do I compare with all your other boyfriends?" True
Meaning: "Is my penis really that small?"
Statement: "I had a wonderful time last night."
True Meaning: "Who the hell are you?"
Statement: "Do you love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you might find out."
Statement: "Do you 'really' love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you're going to find
out sooner or later."
Statement: "How much do you love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something really stupid and someone's on
their way to tell you by now."
Statement: "I have something to tell you."
True Meaning: "Get tested."
Statement: "I'll give you a call."
True Meaning: "I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than
see you again."
Statement: "I've been thinking a lot."
True Meaning: "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."
Statement: "I think we should just be frien
ds."
True Meaning: "You're ugly."
Statement: "I've learned a lot from you."
True Meaning: "Next!!!!"
Statement: "I'm on a long distance call, can you call me later?"
True
Meaning: "I gotta turn on my answering machine."
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Sex Chips
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A guy has been asking the prettiest girl in town for a date and
finally she agrees to go out with him. He takes her to a nice
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way home he pulls over to the side of the road in a secluded spot.
They start necking and he's getting pretty excited. He starts to
reach under her skirt and she stops him, saying she's a virgin and
wants to stay that way.
"Well, OK," he says, "how a bout a blow job?"
"EEEEyyyyyyeeeewwwwwww!" she screams.
"I'm not putting that thing in my mouth!" He says, "Well then, how
about a hand job?"
"I've never done that," she says. "What do I have to do?"
"Well," he answers, "remember when you were a kid and you used to
shake up a Coke bottle and spray your brother with it?"
She nods.
"Well, it's just like that."
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"TAKE YOUR THUMB OFF OF THE END!!!!!!"
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Duck Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Louisiana State Police received reports of illegal cockfights
being held in the area around Crowley, and duly dispatched the
infamous detective Boudreaux to investigate.
He reported to his sergeant the next morning.
"Dey is tree main groups in dis cock fightin'" he began.
"Good work. Who are they?" the sergeant asked.
Boudreaux replied confidently, "De Aggies, de Cajuns, and de Mafia."
Puzzled, the sergeant asked, "How did you find that out in one
night?"
"Well," he replied, "I went down and done seen dat cock fight.
I knowed the Aggies was involved when a duck was entered in the
fight."
The sergeant nodded, "I'll buy that. But what about the others?"
Boudreaux intoned knowingly, "Well, I knowed de Cajuns was involved
when summbody bet on de duck."
"Ah," sighed the sergeant, "And how did you deduce the Mafia was
involved?"
"De duck won."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Gift
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Doggie Zone
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Tigerfish
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Movie Links
Speed Bump
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Terrorist Attack
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That Look
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Drum Girls
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Escape Rescue
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Ever See A Snake Yawn
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Faryl Smith Britain's Got Talent
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Muffin, I feel like making love tonight."
"Okay, I will let you, but be gentle this time."
"But I am always gentle with you, Dearest."
"That's not true. The last time, you woke me up twice!"
Ian
It was the last day of school at St. John the Baptist elementary
school. Sister Catherine was asking her 4th grade Catholic school
children what they want to be when they grow up. Steven raised his
hand. "What do you want to be when you grow up?" the Sister asked.
Steven replied, "I want to be a football player." "That's great,"
the Sister commended. Rick raised his hand. "What do you want to be,
Rick?" Rick replied, "I want to be an astronaut!" "Wonderful!" said
the Sister. Sheila raised her hand. "Yes, Sheila? What do you want
to be when you grow up?" Sheila replied, "I want to be a
prostitute!" "WHAT?" Sister Catherine gasped. She became flushed and
looked like she was going to pass out. "What did you say??" "I want
to be a prostitute!" Sheila repeated. "Oh, thank Heavens!" Sister
Catherine said, breathing a big sigh of relief. "I thought you said
you wanted to be a Protestant!"
Stan Kegel
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
blowing
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blowjob
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blow job beg
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blowjob dog
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blue balls
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Poetry Chips
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A WOMAN'S POEM:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won't be annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand.
Massage my feet and help me stand..
Oh send a king to make me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean..
I pray this man will love no other.
And relish visits with my mother...
A MAN'S POEM:
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
big tits who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit..
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Praying for Leroy
"Anyone with 'needs' to be prayed over, come forward, to the front
at the altar," the Preacher said.
Leroy gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks:
"Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?"
Leroy replies: "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my
hearing."
The preacher puts one finger in Leroy's ear, and he places the other
hand on top of Leroy's head and prays and prays and prays, he prays
a blue streak for Leroy; the whole congregation joined in with
enthusiasm.
After a few minutes, the Preacher removes his hands, stands back and
asks, "Leroy, how is your hearing now?"
Leroy says, "I don't know, Reverend, it ain't 'til next Wednesday."
Peggy
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1822
To Infinity and Beyond!
The race is heading towards the end, but alas after drinking a lot
of
OJ mother nature takes her toil...
Tami: I have to stop. Nature requires it.
Rudy: You only have a mile to go.
Tami: If I do not stop now, I will not make it another 100 yards.
Rudy: Okay to the left but hurry, you were in third place.
Katie: I love this Orange Juice...it is the best ever.
A few minutes later.
Tami: I do not feel so well. The world is spinning. There are two
of
you Rudy.
Rudy: That is because the OJ was spiked with Vodka.
Tami: OMG! No wonder I am perspiring so. I am off, get me some
coffee, black.
Sandi from the announcer booth: It appears that stop has seriously
hurt Miss Tami, she has dropped from Second all the way back to
about eighty-third.
Rudy: How come you are marching goose-step style?
Tami: I am?
Val: Yes you are Tami.
Tami: I thought I was running.
Rudy: You look like a little german during WWII.
Tami: Oh no, I am drunk and am acting crazy.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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