THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
As long as I have a want,
I have a reason for living.
Satisfaction is death.
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
12 Ways To Be Happy:
1. Make up your mind to be happy.
Learn to find pleasure in simple things.
2. Make the best of your circumstances.
No one has everything, and everyone has something
of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. The trick is
to make the laughter outweigh the tears.
3. Don't take yourself too seriously.
Don't think that somehow you should be protected
from misfortune that befalls other people.
4. You can't please everybody. Don't let criticism worry you.
5. Don't let your neighbor set your standards. Be yourself.
6. Do the things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
7. Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder
to bear than real ones.
8. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy,
Avoid people who make you unhappy.
9. Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about new places.
10. Don't hold postmortems. Don't spend your time brooding
over sorrows or mistakes. Don't be one who never gets over things.
11. Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.
12. Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time
to be unhappy.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________
THE COMICS
time for a vasectomy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s090.html
for the last time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s091.html
drive thru
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s092.html
progress
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s093.html
spirit
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s094.html
what do you mean
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s095.html
the painter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s096.html
female aging
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s097.html
better with age
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s098.html
crisis
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s099.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
E trade-golf baby
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9335.html
supermodels
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9336.html
beer run
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9337.html
dog abuse
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9338.html
childproof drawer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9339.html
what a shot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9340.html
A very tall man walks into a bar, and a blonde
lady recognizes him as an International Rugby player.
They start to talk, and eventually go back to his place.
They start to kiss, and the man takes off his shirt.
On his arm, he has a tattoo that says REEBOK.
"What's that for?" the lady questions.
"Oh, I have this so that when I'm on TV,
people will see my tattoo, and Reebok pays me."
Then the man takes off his trousers, and on his leg,
he has a tattoo that says NIKE.
'What's that ?' the lady questions again.
"Just like the Reebok tattoo,
I get paid when this tattoo is seen on TV."
Then the man drops his underwear
and on his penis he has a tattoo that says AIDS.
The lady screams:
"Don't tell me you have AIDS!"
The man replies:
"No, no.....!!! Calm down,"
"It will say ADIDAS in a minute or so............!!!"
_______________
A golfer hits a wicked slice off the tee that ricochets
through the trees and into the next fairway narrowly
missing another golfer. When the first golfer gets to
his ball his unintended victim who angrily tells him of
the near miss greets him. "I'm sorry, I didn't have time
to yell fore," says the first golfer. "That's funny"
replies the second, "you had plenty of time to yell 'SHIT!'"
___________
God was tired and worn out. So he spoke to St. Peter.
"You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions
where I should go?" St. Peter, thinking, nodded his head,
then said, "How about Jupiter? It's nice and warm there
this time of the year." God shook His head before saying,
"No, too much gravity. You know how that hurts my back."
"Hmmm," St. Peter reflected. "Well, how about Mercury?"
"No way!" God muttered. "It's way too hot for me there!"
"I've got it," St. Peter said, his face lighting up.
"How about going down to Earth for your vacation?"
Chuckling, God remarked, "Are you kidding? Two thousand
years ago I went there, had an affair with some nice
Jewish girl, and they're STILL talking about it!"
_____________
80,000 blondes meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium
for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention.
The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the
world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"
A blonde name Lola gingerly works her way through the
crowd and steps up to the stage.
The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?"
After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eighteen!"
Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000
blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance!
Give her another chance!"
The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of
getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-
wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I
guess we can give her another chance."
So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?"
After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "Ninety?"
The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets
out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened - the
blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell
and wave their hands shouting, "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!
GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"
The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm
than damage, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance
-- What is 2 plus 2?"The girl closes her eyes, and after
a whole minute eventually says, "Four?"
Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all
80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp
their feet and scream... "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!
GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!
______
A newlywed man comes down for breakfast one morning
and sees his young wife at the stove with one of his
socks in a frying pan. "What the heck are you doing?!!"
asked the new groom.
The bewildered new bride said,
"I'm only doing what you begged me to do
last night!!!"
"I wasn't asking you to COOK MY SOCK!" yelled the man.
__________
Three explorers were in the deepest darkest jungles of Africa,
and were captured by a pigmy tribe.
The tribe brings them before the chief, who declares that
the explorers were tracking across secret hunting grounds,
and the penalty was death.One explorer asks the chief if
they are to die, could they chose the way they wanted to go.
After much consideration, the chief agreed.
The first explorer loved to eat, and wanted to eat himself
to death. The tribe puts him in a hut with 10,000 lbs of
food, and two guards outside the door to make sure he
doesn't escape.The second explorer loved to drink, and
wanted to drink himself to death. Again, the tribe puts
him in a hut with 10,000 gals of booze, and two guards
outside the door to make sure he doesn't escape.
The third explored loved to screw women. This took a
little time, as the tribe had to construct a large hut
and collect 10,000 naked women.
They finally got it all together, placed the explorer
in the hut with 10,000 naked women, and two guards outside
the hut to make sure he didn't escape.
Time rolled by, and about 3 months later the chief
remembered that he had to see how the punishment of the
three explorers turned out. He went to the first hut, and
found the man had ate so much, he exploded. He had the two
guards clean up the mess and dismissed them.
In the second hut, the explorer drank so much, he puked his
guts out. The chief had the two guards clean up the mess,
and dismissed them.
You'd never guess what the chief found in the third hut...
10,000 pregnant women, two guards outside the door with red
asses, and the explorer jacking off in the corner!
FUN PAGES
Fitz
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41719&s=n
Dig Dug Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41524&s=n
Lion Seul
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=20493&s=n
____________
BUFFALO BILL
Very sexy girl from the musical Africa
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Viagra
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7803.htm
Vichy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7804.htm
____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Jacuzzi Party
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000834.html
Japanese Chair
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000835.html
Japanese Fanta Advert
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000836.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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