THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
I'm not tired,
I am just resting before I get some sleep.
$100 Worth of Soda
Complimentary $100 Worth of Soda
National soda survey
http://www.tinyurl.com/yd77shq
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
It has been a very challenging weekend.
The war department is doing fine. She went
in for a little out patient surgery and lost
a little more blood than what they liked. And,
coupled with a bit of low blood pressure, the
docs decided to keep her longer than planned.
Hopefully she will be home to day. It has
been a challenge for me getting back and
forth to hosp. from the parking ramp. I have been taking
advantage of the patient transport services.
These folks are of course there to transport
their own patients, primarily, but they don't mind
carting around a visitor now and then who needs
a little help. Otherwise the walking would have
been a bit much for me. Besides which, I have
noticed that they tend to use mostly younger age
college girls for this type of work. I certainly
do not mind that. heheheh. Hmm, wonder if I could
hire these folks for opening day of deer season?
Might take up hunting again:)
PLEASE NOTE:
In addition to the war department being in the
hospital, I discovered that the webstie is experiencing
a few glitches this weekend also. Just the perfect
timing for such a problem, eh? Yahoo small business
has been hosting my website for years. I rarely recall
difficulties that are actually their fault. Yep, they
are probably a couple bux more expensive too. But
overall, their performance has been good, with 24/7
tech support. So if you have your own webhosting
service, save your email. I'm not gonna switch.
But anyways, for the rest of you folks who just want
to enjoy the toons n movies, I think the problems
are mostly fixed now ...enjoy!!!
ALSO:
My thanks to all who wrote in to express regards
for the war department in her recent hospitalization:
Your prayers are appreciated!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________
THE COMICS
same hole
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p060.html
a bad sign
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p061.html
boy friend
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p063.html
whoops
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p064.html
not our fault
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p065.html
porn for women
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p066.html
a ride
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p067.html
full advantage
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p068.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
bike snow plow
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9232.html
man vs chimp
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9233.html
don't feed the bear
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9234.html
about to
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9235.html
cheaters
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9236.html
making music
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9237.html
____________
There was a young lady named Gloria
who was goosed by Sir Oswald Du Maurier
And then by six men
Sir Oswald again
And the band at the Woldorf Astoria!
Q: What's the biggest fish in the world?
A: A nymphomaniac. If you catch one you can
eat her for months.
Q: Did you hear what happened to the energizer
bunny when they put the
batteries in backwards????
A: Instead of "going and going and going"...
He kept "cumming and
cumming and cumming".
_____________
I went to the doctor for my annual physical.
The nurse started with certain basics.
"How much do you weigh?" she asked.
"135," I said. The nurse put me on the scale.
It turns out my weight is 180.
The nurse asked, "Your height?"
"5 foot 4," I said. The nurse checked and saw
that I only measure 5' 2" She then took my blood
pressure and told me that it is
very high. "Of course it's high!" I screamed,
'When I came in here I was tall and slender!
Now I'm short and fat!" She put me on Prozac.
What a bitch...
___________
A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three
mugs of Bud and sits in the back room, drinking
a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes
them, he comes back to the bar and orders three
more.The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy,
"You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would
taste better if you bought one at a time."
The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is in Australia, the other is in Dublin, and I'm in
Texas. When we all left home, we promised that we'd
drink this way to remember the days we drank together.
So I drink one for each of my brothers and one for myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and
leaves it there.
The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always
drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and
drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and orders only two mugs. All the
regulars take notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round,
the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your
grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your
loss."The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then
a light dawns and he laughs.
"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains. "It's that
my wife and I just joined the Baptist Church in Sweetwater
and I had to quit drinking ........ Hasn't affected my brothers
though."
___________
A well-traveled man walks into a bar and tells the
bartender, "For $50, you can mix any cocktail you
want without my knowledge and I can tell you the ingredients!"
The bartender takes up the challenge and mixes up an
odd combination. The man takes a sip and says: "I
taste vanilla vodka, canadian whiskey, and diet coke."
The bartender is astonished. "You're right." He makes another.
"This drink," says the man, "contains Puerto Rican rum,
Tab, Dr. Pepper, and gin."
Again, the bartender is amazed at the man's ability. This
goes on for a few more rounds and the bartender has lost a
good bit of money. He decides to stump the man.
"If I can make a cocktail you can't identify, you have to
pay back all the money I've already given you."
The man agrees and laughs.
The bartender pours a glass of tap water and gives it to the man.
"By golly, you've done it! I have no idea what this is.
I can tell you one thing though: whatever it is, it won't sell!
____________
The doctor is examining a patient who is in a great deal of pain.
He puts his stethoscope up to the guy's thigh and hears, "Give me
$10, please! I'm desperate! I have no money, and I only need $10!"
The doctor puts his stethoscope up to the guys' knee and hears,
"Please! You've got to help me! I can get by with $5, even! Just
$5! Please! I haven't any money, even $5 will help."
Finally, the doctor listens to the patient's ankle, "How about $20!
$15! Anything! I'm flat out of cash, please lend me something,
just this once!"
"Hmmm." says the doctor. "This could be serious."
"What!" says the patient, alarmed. "What's wrong!?"
"It appears," the doctor replies, "that your leg is broke in three
places."
___________
A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she
used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family
doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the
husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea
about her hearing loss.
Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40
feet away from her, and in a normal conversational
speaking tone see if she hears you.
If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until
you get a response."
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner,
and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40
feet away, let's see what happens."
Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"
No response..
So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet
from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"
Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20
feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"
Again he gets no response.
So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away..
"Honey, what's for dinner?"
Again there is no response.
So he walks right up behind her... "Honey, what's for dinner?"
(I just love this)
"Ralph, for THE FIFTH time, CHICKEN!!!
____________
FUN PAGES
Hidden in the Forest
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41728&s=n
One Stupid Lady
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=40655&s=n
Mario vs Boo
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41595&s=n
Cross Eyed for Life
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41421&s=n
_______________
BUFFALO BILL
Fanfare
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jakjkas.htm
Final Call
http://www.buffaloschips.com/askla.htm
Flashlights
http://www.buffaloschips.com/saasjka.htm
_________________
SYDES JOKES LIST
How To Marshall Jets Brit Style
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000762.html
How To Operate A Loader
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000763.html
How To Put On A Bra
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000764.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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