Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I was reading some posts from a yard sale list today and someone was
selling a year and a half old Purebred Himalayan for 50.00.
The cat didn't like children, didn't like dogs, and didn't like
having its tummy touched and the owner wanted to use the money to
pay off a 600.00 vet bill. If I had been looking for a cat I would
have steered well clear of that one because I had been through that
once before.
I was working at the University Of San Diego and Sandy wanted
another cat, either a Siamese, Persian, or Himalayan and preferably
a kitten. I went to the San Diego Humane Society and spotted a
year-old Himalayan that had her front claws removed and I was
assured that she was a friendly cat longing for a new owner to love.
I laid out my 45.00 for adoption fees and brought the cat home. It
seemed to get along with me but wanted nothing to do with Sandy or
Buffy. Sandy wasn't happy but I convinced her to wait a couple of
days to see if the cat warmed up a bit.
We had a nook in the hall cupboards for a telephone and a few phone
books and the cat took up a watch there where it could howl and hiss
as everyone went by. Then the phone rang and as I was on call I
went to grab it and the cat took it as a personal affront and
swatted my hand about 40 times I laughed because she had no claws
and that was when she decided to start gnawing on my hand and when I
went to grab her she ran out the back door and into a neighbors
house and under the bed. The cat got along just great with the
family there and their children but if I came within twenty feet of
their porch it would hide under the bed and howl. I have had mixed
breeds since then with Persian in them or Siamese but none were as
ornery as that cat. I realize that it was all because of the
declawing issue but that cat developed a real hatred towards me
really fast. I prefer tabbies although I have been scratched by
them before, they don't hold a grudge.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little kid goes to his dad and asks "Can I have 20 bucks?" The dad
replies "What do you want 20 bucks for?" The kid replies "So I can
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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the bobsled
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stressed
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How To Train A Swimmer
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How To Undress Fast
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Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was once a boy named Johnny Go Deeper.
He attended a school where his father was the
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He began the conversation by saying. "Mrs.
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Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny, I'm
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So Mrs. Johnson removed her shirt.
Then Johnny says "Mrs. Johnson, please take
off your skirt".
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not taking my skirt off".
So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my
father and my sister and they'll fire you".
Mrs. Johnson then removed her skirt.
Then Johnny says "Mrs. Johnson, please take
off your bra and panties".
Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny, I'm
not taking my bra and panties off".
So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my
father and my sister and they'll fire you".
Mrs. Johnson then removed her bra and panties.
Then Johnny says "Mrs. Johnson, please lay on
the table".
Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny,I will
not lay on the table".
So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my
father and my sister and they'll fire you".
Mrs. Johnson lays on the table.
So Johnny jumped on top of her and proceeded
to try to penetrate her.
All of a sudden his mother walks in and yells
"JOHNNY GO DEEPER"
So Johnny replies "I'm trying, I'm trying".
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Viagra Chips
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Poker Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Freddie Mercury, Gianni Versace and the Queen Mum arrive at
the Pearly gates. St Peter explains that only one can get
through and that they each have to put forward their case
for entry.
Freddie says, "I know I haven't led a perfect life and I've
made some mistakes along the way, but I've made some of the
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"Not bad," says St Peter. "What about you Queen Mum?"
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into her vagina and lets it gush all over the floor.
"Excellent! You're in!" says St Peter.
"Hold on a minute!" says Freddie. "She didn't even say
anything!"
"Fred, you know the rules," says St Peter. "A royal flush
beats a pair of Queens."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Farmer Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An old farmer is having trouble getting his bull to breed with the
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Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher asks kindergarten students what kind of medicines they know
and what they are used for.
First pupil: 'Tylenol?'
Teacher: 'Very good! And what is it used for?'
Pupil: 'It is used for headaches'
Second pupil: 'Nytol Teacher'
Teacher: 'Excellent. And what it is used for?'
Pupil: 'To help you sleep'
Now it is Johnny's turn and he says: 'Viagra'
Teacher, slightly shocked: 'Johnny, What do you think is it used
for?'
Johnny: 'It can be used for diarrhea'
Teacher: 'Who told you this?'
Johnny: 'Nobody, but every evening my mother tells my father 'Take a
Viagra, maybe that little shit will get harder'.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/The Flour Sack
http://silverandgol
John w/ Venus
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Angels Are Watching
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JESUS IS IN THE HOUSE
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F1 Key Virus Via Kent
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St. Pat's Midis
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Tucows Downloads
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Movie Links
How A Real Man Takes Off His Underwear
http://www.buffalos
How Mens Underwear Should Be Advertised
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How To Get Rid Of A One Night Stand
http://www.buffalos
It can Make You suck
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It's Cool To Wear A Scottish Kilt
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Olympic
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Perception
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Person Of The Week
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Puppy VS Mirror
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Recession USA
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prince Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once upon a time there was a king who had a beautiful daughter. One
day a young prince from a nearby kingdom came by for a visit. That
night, after everyone had gone to bed, the prince snuck out of his
room and entered the princess' room. She said, "What are you doing
in my room? Leave immediately or I will call my father!" The Prince
said, "Don't be frightened. I am not going to hurt you. You are so
beautiful. I just want to kiss you and hold you." He kissed her
lips and here and there and everywhere. Soon he had gone where no
man had gone before. They were enthusiastically doing the nasty.
After he finished, he rolled over and relaxed. She said, "Wow!
That was fun. Let's do it again." He climbed back in the saddle for
seconds. Then again rolled over and relaxed. She said, "That was
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The prince said, "Leave me alone or I will call your father."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A squeamish young fellow named Brand
Thought caressing his penis was grand.
But he viewed with distaste
The gelatinous paste
That it left in the palm of his hand.
There was a young lady named Gloria,
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And then by six men,
Sir Oswald again,
And the band at the Woldorf Astoria!
There once was a lady named Dot
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When she ran out of these
She ate the green cheese
That she grew on the sides of her twat
There was a young trucker named Briard
Who had a young whore that he hired
To F*** when not trucking
But trucking plus f*cking
Got him so f*cking tired he got fired.
<Snagged by>
Ross
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young farmer is newly married and the couple can't get
enough of it. Just before leaving the house for the fields at dawn
they tear off a piece and when he returns home at evening they
have another go before and after supper and maybe a couple
more during the night. The problem is during the day: the
fields are a long way from the house and the young man loses
so much time traveling home and back again at noon that he
decides to consult a friend (the town's doctor) about what to do.
"Easiest thing in the world, Homer" says the doctor. "You take
your rifle out with you every day don't you? Well when
you feel like you're in the mood for some lovin' just fire a shot
into the air as a signal to your wife for her to come out to you.
That way you won't lose any workin' time."
Homer tries this and it seems to work pretty good for a while.
One day though the doctor stops by the house to pay a visit
and he notices Homer sitting alone inside looking very morose.
"What's wrong?" he asks. "Didn't my idea work? And where's your
wife?"
"Oh, it worked" says Homer. "Whenever I got in the mood I
fired off a shot like you said and Beckie'd come runnin'. Then
we'd find a secluded place and do it after which Beckie'd go
back home."
"So what's the problem?"
"Well I think I overdid it, Doc. I ain't seen hide nor hair of
Beckie since the huntin' season got started!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Orthodox Jewish wedding takes place and the young couple find
themselves in bed, ready to consummate the marriage. The young Hasid
says to his bride, "I've never done this before. I'm not really sure
what to do." His wife responds in a reassuring way that she will
guide
him through the process. She says, "Remove your garments." The
husband
complies. "No," she says, "all of them, not just your tzitzis." A
little embarrassed, the husband complies. She says, "OK, now you
need
to lie right on top of me." "Naked?" he asks. "Yes," she says. So he
climbs on to her, but just lies there. "Now," she says, "Put it
inside
me." "You mean my...?" "Yes!" He does so, but is still embarrassed,
and just lies there on top of her doing nothing, rigid in more ways
than one. Finally after several minutes of just lying there, the
bride
gets an idea. Now she says, "Daven!" (Pray by moving back and forth)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1539
The Investigation (cont)
In the house Diana is putting up clothes when...
Sandi: Excuse me mommy, but I need to ask you a few questions.
Diana: Okay.
Sandi: Do you own a bow and arrow?
Diana: Not since I was a child.
Katie: See she used to have one.
Sandi: But, you currently do not possess one?
Diana: No, why?
Sandi: Just curious. Does Daddy have one?
Diana: No, he does not. As far as I know only Katie has one.
Katie: Gulp!
Rudy looking long and hard at Katie...
Sandi: Let us continue our investigation.
Diana: Sandi, where did you get the Sherlock Holmes hat? It looks
rather nice on you.
Sandi: Thanks mommy. Daddy got it for me last year.
Katie nervously shuffling her feet: The lab, we must go to the lab!
Sandi: Why?
Katie: It must be one of my Klones.
Rudy: Hrumpt!
A few minutes later in the lab...
Sandi: All the Repli-Kates seem to be here...Whoa there is one
missing.
Twang!
Sandi: My hat! It got shot off my head by an arrow.
Katie: It wasn't me. I am right here and my bow and arrow are
still with me.
Rudy: Repli-Kate number 45 is missing. Here is the card for that
number. "Number 45 is never to be turned on. It is the extreme
model that seems to display all the ornery characteristics of the
Kanine Katie." Opps, that could be serious trouble.
Katie: There she is! I have my bow and arrow if I can hit the off
button..
Twang!
Sandi: Good shot sis. I think you shut her down. We need to
figure out
how she got turned on in the first place. Where's Katie?
Rudy: I think we know. Each had a bow and arrow. I think Katie,
the real one, wanted someone to play with.
Sandi: Good deduction Watson, err I mean Rudy. We can remove the
battery pack from #45 so she can not be turned on again.
Rudy: I guess I can return to my nap.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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