THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Teaching kids to count is fine,
but teaching them what counts is best.
- Bob Talbert
Participate today and receive a $100 Applebee's Gift Card!
http://www.tinyurl.com/yl29lat
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
LANSING, Mich. (AP) -- Federal disaster loans
are available to small businesses, small agricultural
cooperatives and private nonprofits in Michigan because
of cold weather that hurt crops last year.
Pappy always used to rail against government
intervention in farm activities. He used to
point out a special loan program for farmers
during the Reagan years. It allowed for low
interest loans for farm ground that was
considered to be sub par or less than normally
productive. The intent was to encourage farmers
to make improvements on the land, and thus make
it more productive. So, a large farmer near us
applied for millions in loans and used it to
buy river bottom land around the county.
(Land that usually flooded out in the spring
and was usually too wet to do any decent farming.)
Everyone thought he was nuts. But then, lo and
behold, the man left it all in "diverted acres"
Back in that day there were a lot of different
ag programs to help farms. Many of them
contradicted one another, and that is exactly
what this particular "diverted acres" program
did. That was one where the government would
pay you a little bit per acre if you did not
plant it. The object was to drive up prices
by taking ground out of production, and also
to help promote a little conservation by
leaving ground fallow and "divert your acreage.
Makes sense doesn't it? one program to increase
production, another one to decrease it.
Well, if you had a low interest loan on ground
that was not really farmable, but then the
government turned around and paid you not to
farm it, you would make out on it fairly
well. So the farmer's plan went ok for a couple
years. But then the government stopped the
diverted acres and he was left with all this worthless
farm ground, and pappy said he got his
"Comeuppence." ..."That is what happens
when you allow the gov'mit to meddle where
its nose don't belong." I can still
hear his voice today, making that statement.
So,when I came across this little story about
the govmit makin low interest loans available to
Michigan farmers, it sortof caught my attention.
Around here, a lot of folks grow fruit. And much
of the apples and cherries got destroyed by an
early frost last year. So, apparently the gov'mit
wants to bail em out. That is sorta strange. Think
about it, the whole global warming thing ought to
help em out enough so next year will
be good and they won't need a loan, right??????
Riiiiiiigghhhtttt!!!!!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE COMICS
presidents
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p010.html
my theory
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p011.html
son of a gun
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p012.html
studs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p013.html
lookin good
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p014.html
b.j.
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p015.html
enthusiasm
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p016.html
long face
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p017.html
replacement
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p018.html
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
love your cat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9199.html
pool shots
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9200.html
Red Skelton
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9201.html
job
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9202.html
a shoplifter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9203.html
my son is a hetero sexual-wav file
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9204.html
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Raleigh, NC
Jeff Gordon announced today that he was firing his
entire pit crew. This announcement followed Gordon's
decision to take advantage of President
Obama's scheme to employ Harlem youngsters.
The decision to hire them was brought about by a
recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Harlem
were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6
seconds without proper equipment; whereas Gordon's
existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with
millions of dollars worth of high tech equipment.
It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by
Gordon's management team, as most races are won
or lost in the pits. However, Gordon got more than
he bargained for! At the crew's first practice session,
not only was the inexperienced
crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds,
but within 12 seconds, they had changed the paint
scheme, altered the VIN number, and sold the car to
Dale Ernhart, Jr., for 10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed,
and some photos of Jeff Gordon's wife in the shower.
_____________
DEAR MADAM:
THANK YOU FOR YOUR RECENT ORDER FROM OUR SEX TOYS SHOP.
YOU ASKED FOR THE LARGE RED VIBRATOR AS FEATURED
ON OUR WALL DISPLAY.PLEASE SELECT ANOTHER ITEM BECAUSE
THAT IS OUR FIRE EXTINGUISHER.
WELL, SHEEEEIITTT!!!!!!!
____________
There was an important job to be done.
Everybody was sure Somebody would do it.
Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job.
Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody
realized that Everybody would not do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody
did what Anybody could have done.
__________________
"You seem to have a cracked vertebrae," the Emergency
Room doctor told the high-school-aged boy. "What happened?"
"Well, you see," the teenager replied, "I was kissing
my girl good-night and damned if her brother didn't come
out the door and step right in the middle of my back."
______________
Berkowitz is having a drink at his hotel when he spots a beautiful
young woman at the other end of the bar.
"Bartender," he says, "give that lady whatever she likes, and put
it on my tab."
When the drink is delivered, the woman gives Berkowitz a warm smile.
A moment later he's at her side.
"That was very kind of you," she says. "Won't you sit down?"
After a few minutes of small talk, she says, "Let me be honest
with you. You're a very nice man, but I don't think you realize
that I'm a professional. I'd be delighted to go upstairs with you
for a hundred dollars. Now, if that's not what you had in mind, I
certainly understand, and I'll say good-bye now, no hard feelings."
"I'm surprised," says Berkowitz. "But you're a beautiful lady,
and I like you, too. I've never done something like this before,
but sure, let's go upstairs."
When they get to Berkowitz's room, he says, "I was wondering.
There's something about you that makes me think you might be
Jewish."
"Well, I am," she replies a little defensively. "Why do you ask?"
"Well, I'm Jewish, too," says Berkowitz. "And since we're both
Jewish, I was hoping you would give me a discount."
"Dammit," she replies, "I was afraid this would happen. Okay,
twenty percent off. But I want you to know, at these prices I'm
not making any profit!"
_____________
Suzanne sat down on a park bench, glanced around and decided
to stretch out her legs on the seat and relax.
After a while a beggar came up to her and said, "Hey baby,
how about us going for a walk together."
"How dare you," she replied, "I'm not one of your cheap pickups!"
"Well then," said the beggar, "what are you doing in my bed?"
_________________
It was a weekend morning and Jake, an avid hunter, woke
up ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks
down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise
he finds his wife, Alice sitting there fully dressed in camouflage.
Jake asks her, "What are you up to?"
Alice smiles, "I'm going hunting with you!"
Jake, though he has many reservations, reluctantly decides to
take her along.They arrive at the hunting site. Jake sets his wife
up in a tree stand and tells her, "If you see a deer, take careful
aim on it and I'll come running back as soon as I hear the shot."
Jake walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice
couldn't bag an elephant, much less a deer. But not 10 minutes
pass when he is startled as he hears an array of gunshots.
Quickly, Jake starts running back. As Jake gets closer to her
stand, he hears Alice screaming, "Get away from my deer!"
Confused, Jake races faster towards his screaming wife. Once
again he hears her yell, "Get away from my deer!"
followed by a volley of gunfire.
Now within sight of where he had left his wife, Jake is
surprised to see a cowboy with his hands high in the air.
The cowboy, obviously distraught, says, "Okay lady, okay!
You can have your deer! Just let me get my saddle off it!"
________________
FUN PAGES
Top 4 Funniest Animal Pranks
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=40849&s=n
Madagascar Penguins
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38553&s=n
Elephant Whales
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=34664&s=n
I Bought You A Redneck Mansion
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=40951&s=n
____________
BUFFALO BILL
Exit Only
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2280517.htm
Horny Pack
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2280518.htm
Feel Up
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280519.htm
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SydesJokes LIST
How It Will Feel If Hillary Is Elected President
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000744.html
How Lucky Is This Guy
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000745.html
How Many Beers Before You Let Your Friend Do This
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000746.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
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