Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Sometimes meals go awry around here but they still taste good
anyhow. Occasionally the market has riblets which are trimmed
from the racks of ribs to make them all appear to be the same
length.
They are cheap, a 3.00 package will feed 4 with leftovers and I love
to simmer them in the barbecue sauce until the bones are ready to
fall out and then just throw them on the grill for a few minutes to
thicken the barbecue sauce. Sandy prepared them the old way though
baking them in the oven and then adding the sauce. Buffy had thrown
a garlic crust pizza in though and we were all concentrating on that
while the riblets cooked drenched in Sweet Baby Ray's barbecue
sauce.
I was sitting in my office and I started to smell burnt barbecue
sauce
so I ran out and pilled the pan out of the oven. They were overdone,
kind of like rib jerky but they still tasted great, problem was I
didn't
take them out of the pan before the barbecue sauce hardened and
now they were cemented to the pan.
Sandy came out to see what was going on and went to the tool drawer
and got my favorite spatula out. I bought it at a thrift shop for a
buck
and it has US Ontario and a stock number on it from it's days in the
military, probably from the old Air Force Base when it closed. It
was
stainless and designed to be used on a grill as it will hold three
burgers
at a time and has a knife edge on it. Sandy was trying to pry the
riblets
out and the first one to break free went flying six feet in the air
and landed
behind the freezer. She changed her angle a bit and the second one
came flying my way and I snatched it out of the air and it was
pretty good
but about that time we realized how ridiculous the flying ribs and
my
catch were and burst out laughing. It was a lot of fun.
Sandy and I have never been able to work in the kitchen together
as we are a hazard to each other remembering twenty years ago
when she knocked a knife off of the counter and it stuck in my foot.
It was a light knife and only went in a half inch into my foot but
since
then we have been working alone. Lately though we have been
able to work with each other. I don't know if we are maturing or if
she is just setting me up to shank me in the foot again.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Love Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LOVE - when your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST - when your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - when your belt won't meet around your waist, and you
don't care.
LOVE - when intercourse is called making love.
LUST - all other times.
MARRIAGE - what's intercourse?
LOVE - when you argue over how many children to have.
LUST - when you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE - when you argue over money.
LOVE - when you share everything you own.
LUST - when you think twice about giving your partner bus money.
MARRIAGE - when the bank owns everything.
LOVE - when it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
LUST - when the relationship is over if you don't climax. MARRIAGE -
what's a climax?
LOVE - when you phone each other just to say "Gidday".
LUST - when you phone each other just to organize sex. MARRIAGE -
when you phone each other to find out what time your son's game
starts.
LOVE - when you write poems about your partner.
LUST - when all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE - when all you write is cheques.
LOVE - when you show concern for your partners' feelings. LUST -
when you couldn't give a damm. MARRIAGE - when your only concern is
what's on TV.
LOVE - when your farewell is "I love you darling ...".
LUST - when your farewell is "So, same time next week?". MARRIAGE
- when your farewell is silent.
LOVE - when you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST - when you only ever see each other in the bedroom. MARRIAGE
- when you never see each other awake.
LOVE - when your heart flutters every time you see them.
LUST - when your groin twitches every time you see them. MARRIAGE
- when your wallet empties every time you see them.
LOVE - when nobody else matters.
LUST - when nobody else knows.
MARRIAGE - when everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.
LOVE - when all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you
feel. LUST - when it's just the same mushy old thing. MARRIAGE -
when you never listen to music.
LOVE - when breaking up is something you try not to think about.
LUST - when staying together is something you try not to think
bout. MARRIAGE - when just getting through today is your only
thought.
LOVE - when you're interested in everything your partner does.
LUST - when you're only interested in one thing. MARRIAGE - when
you're not interested in what your partner does and the one thing
you're interested in is your golf score.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Wool Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back in the Cold War days, Ivan was a diplomat
and spy. He was new to the USA and lived in
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complained to Boris, his aide, that he needed a
woman.
Boris dropped off a high-priced hooker at his
door the following Saturday night. Ivan plied her
with some vodka and caviar. As she took her top,
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pointing top his own pits, "Vomen in the old
country have wool - they have wool!"
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underarms."
They drank more vodka and ate more caviar. She
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After more vodka and caviar, he pulled down her
panties and saw that her privates were trimmed.
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have wool - they have wool!"
She then asked in loud voice, "Look buddy, did you want to screw or
knit?"
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Anal Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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before."
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"Can you hear me NOW?"
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Viagra pills walk into a bar and sit next to two Marijuana
plants.The marijuana plants are lamenting about being illegal.
The Viagra pills scoff at them. One Marijuana plant turns to the
Viagra pills and asks, "Don't you think we should be legal?"
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Breast Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A group of Asian women were visiting a village located in
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lola, a saleswoman for a major condom company was required to travel
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Mary: So you're happy with John, huh? Jill: Absolutely! He's good to
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making babies and keeping the landlord happy.
Little Johnny's mother had found out that Johnny had been screwing
little Suzy all day long, and eating just liverwurst sandwiches.
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You can't be that harsh." The dad says, "I am NOT going to hit
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that much, and just eating liverwurst sandwiches!"
Stan Kegel
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Movie Links
Streaker Goal
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Sunrise Gold
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Super Gra
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Surprise During Meal
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Surprise Her Mechanics
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Missile
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Flying Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some fun things to do the next time you're on one of those long
international flights to kill time...
Pinch the stewardess' butt as she passes.
When two people kiss in the in flight movie, belch real loud.
When there's any nudity, hoot really loudly for a few minutes.
Fart loudly and act shocked, looking around to see who did it.
Fiddle around with the emergency exit, then ask a fellow passenger
if
he has a crowbar.
Hijack the cockpit and, over the loudspeaker, announce that the
first
class passengers and luggage are to switch places.
Run down the aisle screaming, "He's got a bomb! He's got a bomb!".
Go into the bathroom and make rude bodily noises, then come out
looking refreshed.
"Accidental" soda spill on the dork next to you.
Give someone a coin, saying "Heads, I detonate the bomb. Tails, I
don't".
Go into the bathroom, drop your pants, then come out, yelling "We're
out of toilet paper! Stewardess!"
Describe your sex life in great detail to the five-year-old next to
you.
Lead a bible study session in the back of the plane.
Start a hot dog stand.
Steal businessman'
Remark that perhaps you shouldn't have put super glue in your
underpants that morning.
Pick your nose and pat the person next to you.
Show off your Batman underwear.
Switch accents and see if anyone notices.
Sneak into the cockpit and hit the warning alarm.
Scratch your butt, then sniff your finger.
Go into the cockpit, flick on the intercom light, then loudly
inquire
as to why the fuel dial says "e".
Go into the cockpit, ask the pilot in an obnoxious voice "Why do
they
call it the COCKpit?" then snort as if it's the funniest thing in
the
world.
Don't use deodorant, then "accidentally" stick your armpit in
someone's face.
Sneeze, using somebody's sleeve instead of your hand to cover it.
Snort when you laugh.
Tell corny jokes and laugh like it's absolutely hilarious, then
expect others to do the same.
Ride carry-on luggage down the aisle, yelling "Yeee-ha!".
With a desperate look, ask the stewardess where the bathroom is,
then
look relieved and say "Never mind. Do you have any towels?".
Jump up and scream "AAAHHH!! I left the stove on!!".
Ask someone for their autograph, pretending that you think they're
Kevin Costner or Goldie Hawn (This best then the person looks
nothing
like the movie star in question)
If someone has a bad toupee, whack it off.
Pretend you're flying the plane.
Get some rub-on tattoos and a leather jacket, pretend that you
belong
to a biker gang.
Take over the plane with a toy gun.
Yell to someone "Is it time to hijack the plane yet?" (Note: Do this
when there are stewardess nearby).
To the person next to you, say "It's amazing that they didn't notice
the grenade in my luggage.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A methodical fellow named Wade,
Could recall every girl that he'd laid.
He recorded each poke,
Every thrust, every stroke,
And precisely how much he'd been paid.
There once was a miss from Wake Forest
Who had a gigantic clitoris.
Most people, you see,
Thought her name was Marie,
But her intimates knew her as Horace.
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Welcome to Buffalo-Lite, Humor some mature , some immature for
people
on the go.
«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»
Three men; a philosopher, a mathematician and a Chief
Petty Officer, were out riding in a bus, coming home from scout
summer
camp when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three
men
found themselves standing before the Pearly Gates of Heaven, where
St.
Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. "Gentlemen", the Devil
said,
"due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, St. Peter has
agreed
to limit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone of you can
ask
me a question which I don't know or cannot answer, then you're
worthy
enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."
The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive
report on Socrates' teachings." With a snap of his finger, a stack
of
paper appeared next to the Devil. The philosopher read it and
concluded
it was correct. Then, go to Hell! With another snap of the Devil's
finger, the philosopher disappeared.
The mathematician then asked, "Give me the most complicated crypto
formula you can ever think of that could never be deciphered!" With
a
snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared next to the
Devil.
The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed the code was
unbreakable. Then, go to Hell! with another snap of the Devil's
finger, mathematician disappeared, too.
The Chief Petty Officer then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a
chair!" The Devil brought forward a chair. "Drill 7 holes on the
seat."
The Devil did just that. The Chief then sat on the chair and let out
a
very loud fart. Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come
out
of?" The Devil inspected the seat and said, "the third hole from the
right." "Wrong, said the chief, it came out of my asshole."
And the Chief went to Heaven...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
How do you get your husband interested in oral sex?
~ Douche with beer.
What do you call a gay gentleman from the Deep South?
~ A homo-sex-y'all.
Hear about the new gay sitcom?
~ Leave it, it's Beaver.
Why is sex is like software?
~ For everyone who pays for it, there are hundreds getting it free.
What's the most active muscle in a woman ?
~ The penis.
What's the difference between a sorority and a circus?
~ A circus is a cunning array of stunts.
What's the definition of a vicious circle?
~ A pussy with teeth.
How can you tell if a woman really likes oral sex?
~ She hikes up her skirt every time someone yawns.
How do you get a woman off during sex?
~ Push her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1548
The Game Pt 2
Rudy is a bit nervous about the moderate loud noise.
Diana: It will be okay Rudy...it is just a basketball game.
Katie: Yeah hang in there brother, it is just a game...
Then all the lights in the center light up and the sound system
cranks to the max and sound of Thunder reaches to your inner
core as the light display starts,,, fireworks go off, as the
starting
line up is introduced. Bolts of lightening flash across the
floor...
Rudy: Mommy...
BOOOM!!!!!
BAAAAM!!!!
BJ: It will be over soon Rudy, hang on to my hand or paw.
Rudy: Wanna go home...
Diana: Here, here Rudy, just let me cover your head with my coat.
Sandi: The introductions are over now...it seems to be getting
calmer.
Katie: Father, here comes the cheerleaders.
wearing
any clothes.
BJ: Katie hand me your field glasses.
Slap!
BJ: Sorry Diana.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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