Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
March is such a boring month and up till the time I received this it
looked like St. Patrick"s Day was the only day to go out and party.
Now you have 31 reasons to go out and make a fool of yourself, like
I need a reason.
Bizarre Holidays In March
March 1 is National Pig Day and Peanut Butter Lover's Day
March 2 is Old Stuff Day
March 3 is I Want You To Be Happy Day, Peach Blossom Day and
National Anthem Day
March 4 is Holy Experiment Day
March 5 is Multiple Personalities Day
March 6 is National Frozen Food Day
March 7 is National Crown Roast Of Pork Day
March 8 is Be Nasty Day
March 9 is Panic Day
March 10 is Festival Of Life In The Cracks Day
March 11 is Johnny Appleseed Day and Worship of Tools Day
March 12 is Alfred Hitchcock Day
March 13 is Jewel Day
March 14 is National potato Chip Day
March 15 is Buzzard's Day and Everything You Think Is Wrong Day
March 16 is Everything You Do Is Right Day
March 17 is Submarine Day
March 18 is Supreme Sacrifice Day
March 19 is poultry Day
March 20 is Proposal Day and Festival Of Extraterrestrial Abductions
Day
March 21 is Fragrance Day
March 22 is National Goof-off Day
March 23 is National Organize Your Home Office Day and National Chip
and Dip Day
March 24 is National Chocolate Covered Raisins Day
March 25 is Pecan Day and Waffle Day
March 26 is Make Up Your Own Holiday Day and Spinach Festival Day
March 27 is National "Joe" Day
March 28 is Something On A Stick Day
March 29 is Festival Of Smoke and Mirrors Day
March 30 is I Am In Control Day
March 31 is Bunsen Burner Day and National Clams On The Half Shell
Day
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pool Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Steve Davis, the world champion snooker player, got
married and it was the first night of his honeymoon.
His beautiful wife lay spread across the bed wearing
only a scanty silken black nightdress.
Presently Steve came out of the bathroom totally naked
with a long stiff erection and walked slowly to the
foot of the bed. He didn't utter a sound but simply
stood there looking at her and chalking the end of his
erect penis.
This went on for over ten minutes, the only movement
being the slow rhythmic chalking of the tip of his
penis and the movement of his head from side to side
as he stared at her lying on the bed. Eventually, moist
with excitement and shaking with anticipation she tore
off her night dress and slowly spread her legs wide
open waiting for him to take her.
Steve simply raised his eyebrows, cocked his head to
the side and continued to slowly stroke the soft chalk
across the glistening, throbbing penis as he stared
intensely at the pleasures he saw between her outspread
legs. It was too much for her to stand, writhing in an
agony of expectation and frustration she screamed out,
"For God's sake what are you waiting for?"
Steve gently stroked the chalk across his throbbing penis,
blew the loose chalk off its end, smiled and looking even
more closely between her smooth thighs quietly told her,
"I'm trying to decide whether to go for the tight brown or
the easy pink."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
call the agency
http://www.thepostm
at the lepper colony
http://www.thepostm
cheap shot
http://www.thepostm
Bailout #1
http://sydesjokes.
Bailout #2
http://sydesjokes.
Bailout #3
http://sydesjokes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mohammed Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Obama dies and finds himself before the Pearly Gates.
He is very excited; all his life he's had a secret wish & longed to
meet the Prophet Mohammed..
Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, Barack meets a man with a
beard.
'Are you Mohammed?' he asks.
'No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up.' Peter then points
to a ladder that rises into the clouds.
Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter, Obama climbs
the ladder in great strides, climbs through the clouds coming to a
room where he meets another bearded man.
He asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?
'No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still.'
Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he climbs the ladder yet
again,
he discovers an even larger room where he meets another man with a
beard.
Full of hope, he asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?
'No, I am Jesus... You will find Mohammed higher up.'
Mohammed higher than Jesus! Man! Obama can hardly contain his
delight and climbs and climbs, ever higher. Once again, he reaches a
larger room where he meets a man with a beard and repeats his
question: 'Are you Mohammed?...
totally out of breath from all his climbing.
'No, my son.... I am Amighty God. But you look exhausted. Would you
like a cup of coffee..?'
'Yes! please, my Lord'
God looks behind him, claps his hands and yells out: 'Hey Mohammed--
two coffees!'
Gordon
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Melt it Off with Mitch - As Seen On TV Weightloss
Mitch Gaylord won 4 Olympic medals and has been inducted into the
Olympic Hall of Fame. He became the first ever American gymnast to
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Phobia Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
-----+ Bizarre Phobias +------
Dextrophobia- Fear of objects at the right side of the body.
Alektorophobia- Fear of chickens.
Olfactophobia- Fear of smells.
Eurotophobia- Fear of female genitalia.
Politicophobia- Fear or abnormal dislike of politicians.
Anablephobia- Fear of looking up.
Cypridophobia - Fear of prostitutes or venereal disease.
Medomalacuphobia- Fear of losing an erection.
Phronemophobia- Fear of thinking.
Dishabiliophobia- Fear of undressing in front of someone.
Mycophobia- Fear or aversion to mushrooms.
Octophobia - Fear of the figure 8.
Rhytiphobia- Fear of getting wrinkles.
Spacephobia- Fear of outer space.
Urophobia- Fear of urine or urinating.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you hear about the junkie who was found dead in an alley, with
shit in his veins? He'd been shooting craps.
Two well-dressed, matronly women entered the business office and
approached an executive. "Sir," said one, "we are soliciting funds
for
the welfare and rehabilitation of wayward women. Would you care to
donate?" "Sorry," replied the exec, "but I contribute directly."
Little Sandy was with her father when they stopped by the beauty
shop
to pick-up her Mom. She wasn't quite ready, so they sat down and
waited. Suddenly, Sandy goes over to her mom's stylist and blurts
out,
"My Daddy says you're a fairy. May I see your magic wand?"
She was only a cheerleader'
root harder.
A guy pulls up in his car next to a young kid and opens the window
and
says: "If I give you a sweetie will you come in my car?" To which
the
little girl answers: "If you give me the whole bag I'll come in your
face!"
Two male flies are buzzing around, cruising for good looking
females.
One spots a real cutie sitting on a pile of cow shit and dives down
toward her. "Pardon me" he asks, turning on his best charm, "...but
is
this stool taken?"
What did the teacher do for the girl who was having trouble with Sex
Education?
Kept her after class and pounded it into her
What did the hillbilly virgin say to her partner after her first
orgasm?
"Get off dad! You're crushing my Camels!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Retired Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Upon reaching 65, I decided to retire. After having me under foot
for a few months,
my wife became very agitated with me. She suggested I go and do
something to occupy
my time, like join a club or get a hobby. I obliged and went out
for a couple of hours.
When I got home my wife asked about my day and I replied, "Oh, I
just went down to
the park and hung out with the guys. And oh yeah, I joined a
parachute club.
"What? Are you nuts? You're 65 years old and you're going to
start
jumping out of airplanes?"
"Yeah, look I even got a membership card."
"You crazy old coot, where's your glasses! This is a membership to
a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!"
"Oh, great! Now what am I going to do? I signed up for 5 jumps a
week!"
Gordon
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bra Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
From the folks who make the Invisible Fence for cats and dogs, now
comes the Invisible Fence Bra for your teenage daughter!
Using advanced electromagnetic technology, the Invisible Fence Bra
creates a safety zone around Daddy's Little Angel.
If a horny young bastard has decided to skip the Church social and
head right to the Devil's Playground, your daughter will be safe and
secure with this bra. Attempting to remove it without keying in the
secret combination results in a "slight correction" to the horny
young bastard.
Voltage levels are set in ten ascending doses including: "Don't Go
There, Boyfriend", "Freddy'll Lose His Fingers", "Rushin' Hands,
Electrocuted Fingers", "Char Your Fingers To The Bone", and, the
ultimate level, "Any Last Words Before We Throw The Switch?"
Ladies, do *you* have a boss that likes to reach over your shoulder
for a pencil on your desk?
The Invisible Fence Bra has an accessory which clips underneath your
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When the boss's hand dips into the the "No Fly Zone", the magnetic
field of the bra triggers the mechanical arm of the accessory we
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a role on "The Sopranos."
Don't delay! Operators are standing by now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva w/Like the Wind
http://silverandgol
Solid Potato Salad - The Ross Sisters (1944) Via Dianne
http://www.youtube.
Small Thoughts
http://www.shangral
The Power Of Prayer
http://www.reflecti
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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Surfin Surfari
How Long Will Your Food Last
http://stilltasty.
Home and Garden TV
http://www.hgtv.
Bullfrog Power
http://www.bullfrog
Newspapers From Around The Planet
http://www.newseum.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Puppy Linux
http://www.puppylin
DingBat Lace Tute
http://members.
Thunder's Graphic Land
http://www.angelfir
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
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man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.badpets.
Kitty Korner Mean Kitty Via Patricia
http://www.youtube.
Leopard Vs Crocodile
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Movie Links
Wrong Phone
http://www.buffalos
WW30mm
http://www.buffalos
XX Cigar Rolling
http://www.buffalos
Kitty Cat Song
http://www.buffalos
Royal Canadian Air Farce
http://www.buffalos
x352
http://www.buffalos
Yeah Right
http://www.buffalos
Your Side Of The family
http://www.buffalos
Lake Delton Break To WI River
http://www.buffalos
Baby Panda Sneeze
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Navy Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Navy Way
A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up.
One is a good looking, older retired navy chief in his mid-sixties
and the other is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties.
The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This
is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you guys better be
good or you're history. Here's your equipment -- chair, whip and a
gun. Who wants to try
out first?"
The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip
and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to
snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About half way there, she
throws open her
coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his
tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her; feet and
ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several
minutes and then rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen
a display like that in my life." He then turns to the retired chief
and asks, "Can you top that?"
The tough old chief replies, "No problem, just get that lion out
of the way!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Breast Implants
http://www.buffalos
Go With The Flow
http://www.buffalos
Women in Boxing
http://www.buffalos
Trivial Pursuit
http://www.buffalos
Talented Tongue
http://www.buffalos
Hello Nobel Prize
http://www.buffalos
Oh Boss
http://www.buffalos
Bad Milk
http://www.buffalos
Cards
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Grow your own delicious blueberries with Blueberry Giant.
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Buy 2 plants for $10.00 and get 1 on us.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bond Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
M sends James Bond on a secret mission to heaven. When M doesn't
hear from
Bond for over a day, he gets worried and calls up heaven.
The Virgin Mary picks up the phone and says "Virgin Mary speaking."
M asks her if Bond has reached there yet. She replies that he
hasn't.
M waits another few hours and calls heaven back again.
"Virgin Mary speaking," comes the response.
"Is James there yet?" asks M. Again the answer is no.
M is really worried by this time but he waits for a few more hours
and then
calls heaven back again.
"Hello, Mary speaking|"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This story you might think is odder
I dated the famed farmer's daughter
But couldn't a tractor
For I'd failed to factor
She longed for a man like her fodder.
(Gary Hallock)
Hey look; it's the orifice girls
Wearing naught but a grin and some pearls.
They go about whorin'
So don't put your oar in,
You don't know what's under their curls
A young exhibitionist Kay,
Having tossing all her panties away,
Has invited us lads
(Via newspaper ads)
To a pubic performance today.
Science was a breath of fresh air
Within my whole High School career
The only school class
Where you could smell gas
That wasn't from your classmate's rear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Slap Chop - Dice, Chop & Mince in Seconds
Slap Chop makes chopping up vegetables, nuts and fruits quick and
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Order one today and get a second one at no charge.
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http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I became confused when I heard these terms with reference to the
word
'service':
Internal Revenue 'Service'
U.S. Postal 'Service'
Telephone 'Service'
Cable 'Service'
Civil 'Service'
Customer
State, City & County Public 'Service'
This is not what I thought 'service' meant.
But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he
had hired a bull to come 'service' a few cows. BAM!!! It all
came into focus..Now I understand what all those 'service' agencies
are
doing to us.
I hope you are now as enlightened as I am.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1241
A Night in the Pokey
BJ: So what were you guys thinking?
Rudy: I just saw my cuz and said Hi Jack.
Sandi: Yeah, it was totally innocent.
Katie: It was police brutality.
BJ: The policeman even said he warned you about using certain
words.
Katie: Well father really, how can we watch every word we say?
BJ: You do have a point.
Katie: Wait until my far distant relative, the Afgan hound comes
over to visit, Abdul.
BJ: Good grief.
Sandi: How about my brother, Killer. I can see it now at the
airport... Hello Killer.
BJ: I can see life is interesting with you guys. Well alls well
that ends well.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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