THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
In my many years I have come to a conclusion
that one useless man is a shame, two is a
law firm and three or more is a congress.
--John Adams
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
You know, I kindof wish we had more attitudes like
this in law enforcement....
POLK COUNTY FLORIDA SHERIFF GRADY JUDD
An illegal alien in Polk County Florida who got pulled
over in a routine traffic stop ended up 'executing' the
deputy who stopped him. The deputy was shot eight times,
including once behind his right ear at close range.
Another deputy was wounded and a police dog killed.
A state-wide manhunt ensued.
The murderer was found hiding in a wooded area and as
soon as he took a shot at the SWAT team, officers opened
fire on him. They hit the guy 68 times.
Naturally, the liberal media went nuts and asked why they
had to shoot the poor undocumented immigrant 68 times.
Sheriff Grady Judd told the Orlando Sentinel:
'Because that's all the ammunition we had..' Now,
is that just about the all-time greatest answer or what!
The Coroner also reported that the illegal alien died of natural
causes.. When asked by a reporter how that could be since there
were 68 bullet wounds in his body, he simply replied:
(QUOTE of 2009)
"when you are shot 68 times you are naturally gonna die."
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________
THE COMICS
heimlich
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t010.html
word around the office
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t011.html
can't type
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t012.html
newlyweds
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t013.html
grafilthy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t014.html
your site
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t015.html
olympics
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t016.html
dye job
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t017.html
internal revenue
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t018.html
global warming
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t019.html
_________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Renault
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9348.html
cat surprise
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9349.html
happy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9350.html
whiplash
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9351.html
naughty little man
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9352.html
Eharmony
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9353.html
humps
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9354.html
_____________
The mayor of Phoenix was very worried about a plague
of pigeons in Phoenix . He could not remove the pigeons
from the city. All of Phoenix was full of pigeon poop.
The people of Phoenix could not walk on the sidewalks,
or drive on the roads. It was costing a fortune to
keep the streets and sidewalks clean. One day a man
came to City Hall and offered the Mayor a proposition.
'I can rid your beautiful city of its plague of pigeons
without any cost to the city. But, you must promise not
to ask me any questions, or you can pay me one million
dollars to ask one question.' The mayor considered the
offer briefly and accepted the free proposition..
The next day the man climbed to the top of City Hall,
opened his coat, and released a blue pigeon.
The blue pigeon circled in the air and flew up into
the bright blue Arizona sky. All the pigeons in Phoenix
saw the blue pigeon and gathered up in the air behind
the blue pigeon. The Phoenix pigeons followed the blue
pigeon as she flew southward out of the city. The next
day the blue pigeon returned completely alone to the man
atop City Hall. The Mayor was very impressed. He felt
the man and the blue pigeon had performed a wonderful
miraculous feat to rid Phoenix of the plague of pigeons.
Even though the man with the pigeon had charged nothing,
the mayor presented him with a check for 1 million dollars
and told the man that, indeed, he did have a question to
ask and even though they had agreed to no fee and the
man had rid the city of pigeons, he decided to pay
the 1 million just to get to ask ONE question.
The man accepted the money and told the mayor to
ask his ONE question. Do you think
the Mayor is going to ask how the blue pigeon
led all the pigeons away?
Do you think
the Mayor is going to ask where all the pigeons went?
Do you think
He is going to ask where the man got the blue pigeon?
Nooooooo!
This will get a smile out of you!
The mayor asked:
'Do you have a blue Mexican
______________
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just
passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's
house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort
her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her
grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we
were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified,
Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100
years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago,
realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time
to do it was when the church bells would start to ring.
It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even.
Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out
on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and
continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck
hadn't come along."
______________
A little old lady wanted to join a biker club. She
knocked on the door of a local biker club and a big,
hairy, bearded biker with tatoos all over his arms
answered the door. She proclaimed, "I want to join
your biker club."The guy was amused and told her that
she needed to meet certain biker requirements before
she was allowed to join. So the biker aske her: "You
have a bike?"The little old lady said, "Yea, that's my
Harley over there," and points
to a Harley parked in the driveway.
The biker asked, "Do you smoke?"
The little old lady said "Yea, I smoke. I smoke 4 packs
of cigarettes a day and a couple of cigars while I'm
shooting pool."The biker was impressed and asked "Well,
have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
The little old lady said,
"No, I've never been picked up by the fuzz,
but I've been swung around by my tits a few times."
________________
An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending
so much of his free time in the local bar, so one night
he took her along with him. "What'll you have?" he asked.
"Oh, I don't know. The same as you I suppose," she replied.
So, the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and
threw his down in one shot. His wife watched him, then
took a sip from her glass and immediately spit it out.
"Yuck, that's TERRIBLE!" she spluttered. "I don't know
how you can drink this stuff!"
"Well, there you go," cried the husband. "And you think
I'm out enjoying myself every night!"
______________
Norman came in from the field one day and
found his mother carefully spreading handful
after handful of manure over the watermelon patch.
"Maw," he said, "there's an easier way of doin' that."
So saying , he took a stick of dynamite and,
and lit it under the outhouse.
However, Norman didn't know his great-grandmother
was using the facility just then, and when the TNT ignited,
it vaporized the outhouse and blew the woman nearly
a mile into the air. She landed, with a considerable thud,
in the midst of the watermelons.
"Good Lawd," Norman yelled, "are y'all right, great grannie?"
The feisty old woman rose unsteadily. "I reckon I am," she replied.
"All I kin say is I'm glad I didn't let that one go in the house!"
__________
SHORTS
A teacher asks a redneck girl to use "handsome" in
a sentence. She says, "When I'm suckin' dick, and my
jaw gets sore.... I use my handsome".
Kermit the frog and Miss Piggy are in the middle of a 69,
when the phone rings. It's Fozzy Bear on the other end,
and he wants to speak with Miss Piggy.
Kermit replies, "She can't talk right now, she has a
frog in her throat!"
How do you tell if you're making love to a nurse, a
schoolteacher, or an airline stewardess?
A nurse says: "This won't hurt a bit."
A schoolteacher says, "We're going to have to do this
over and over again until we get it right."
An airline stewardess says, "Just hold this over your
mouth and nose, and breath normally."
Tony wasn't feeling well, and so he went to the doctor
to get himself checked. After a thorough examination,
the doctor said, "Well, Tony, based on my examination,
the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty
foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking."
"I see," said Tony. "Well, to be honest with you, Doc,
I don't deserve the best. What's the second best?"
_____________
FUN PAGES
Word Zen
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41813&s=n
War on Terror
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41591&s=n
Balloon Eater
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38556&s=n
A Blonde In Serious Touble
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=9012&s=n
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
Eric O Shea
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfdr.htm
Escuta Essa
http://www.buffaloschips.com/athyuj.htm
Examendeprostata
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ajhhgjh.htm
______________
SYDESJOKES
Jay Lenno - Favourite Interviews
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000840.html
Jay Leno Videos #1
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000841.html
Jeep Jump
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000842.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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