Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I gotta thank everyone for their suggestions for treating gout. I
learned a few things that I didn't know that my doctor and I will be
talking about next time I see him. We went out to visit
Nancy last night and on the way back we stopped at Sav a lot
to grab a few items and with a shopping cart to lean on I
was holding my own although I looked like a 100 year old
the speed I was moving. That worked real well till we got
done bagging everything up and Sandy and Eva ran off with the cart
across the parking lot leaving me to limp back to the Jimmy. I paid
for it later when I got home when it took till 0300 for my foot to
stop throbbing.
Since everyone is being so helpful how about telling me an easy
way to remove crayon from semi-gloss latex enamel? I am talking
about a lot of area with a lot of crayon and I don't want to primer
and paint as some of it is only ten months old. Art is not the only
way
Eva has expressed her creativity lately, she swiped the bar from the
toilet paper holder and hid it for a few weeks. It wasn't a matter
of just grabbing a new one from the hardware store, this one was
wood and square and notched like a Lincoln Log and I had got it as
part of a set when San Diego Glass and Paint closed about 25
years ago. She has also become defiant about really minor things
telling everyone no and making them chase her. I guess it is a 4
year old thing but I don't remember Buffy going through this stage
till she was a teenager.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Sailing Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two ship captains were sitting at the bar one night getting good and
lit
when one turned to the other and said, "You know what gets me,
though,
is these damn sailors! Oh sure, they're fine for the first few
weeks,
but on those three-month trips at sea they start getting pretty hard
up.
With all the whacking off going on, it's a wonder any work is
getting
done, and it's making a mess all over the ship. I don't know what to
do!"
The other captain smiles knowingly at his companion. "Oldest trick
in
the book. You take the crew and divide them into two teams, then you
buy about 50 barrels and put them on the ship. You tell the crew
that
the team that fills the most barrels wins a bag of gold."
"Well that's a great way to keep the ship clean, but then I'm out a
bag
of gold every trip!"
"Not so," replied the other captain. "After you get back to port,
take
all the barrels together and sell them to the wax factory to make
into
candles. You make a tidy profit every time."
The captain pondered this and the next day, he took his friend's
advice
and divided the crew, bought a bunch of barrels, and set off to sea.
Before long, the crew took to the new system and began filling
barrel
after barrel. When they finally reached port, the captain sold the
barrels for a huge profit. 'This is great,' thought the captain,
'before long, I'll be able to buy a new boat!'
This went on, voyage after voyage. Then one day, the ship happened
back
to that very first port. Coming down the gangplank, the captain was
surprised to see the cops waiting for him. As they slapped the cuffs
on
him, the captain cried out "What's the meaning of this?!"
"You sick bastard," replied the cop. "Remember all those barrels you
sold to the candle factory last time you passed through town?"
"Sure," said the captain. "What about 'em?!"
"Well, they made them into candles, sold them to the convent, and
now
all the nuns are pregnant!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
good neighborhood
http://www.thepostm
spell check
http://www.thepostm
on the jet
http://www.thepostm
Interesting USB Stick
http://sydesjokes.
Internet Cybersex
http://sydesjokes.
Internet Dream Guy
http://sydesjokes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Uniform Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty
at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived
home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 AM.
Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the
dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into
bed. She sleepily sat up and said, "Mike, dearest,
would you go down to the all-night drug store on the
next block and get me some aspirin? I've got a splitting
headache."
"Certainly, honey," he said, and feeling his way across
the room, he got dressed and walked over to the drug
store.
As he arrived, the pharmacist looked up in surprise,
"Say," said the druggist, "aren't you Officer Fenwick of
the 8th District?"
"Yes, I am," said the officer.
"Well, then, what in the world are you doing in the
Fire Chief's uniform?!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bet Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was having a discussion with a friend a while back when she
claimed there
are 69 positions. I felt that in fact there are only 68, and bet her
50
pounds, on condition that she prove it. She accepted my bet, and we
arranged
to set aside the next weekend to settle the matter.
We warmed up in a 69, my favourite number, then got down to serious
business.
We did it doggy style, we did it several ways in a chair, we did it
standing
up. We spooned, we did it in full and half lotus, we did the
wheelbarrow.
We had sex in ways I can't remember, and often we would return to
soixante
neuf to re-lubricate.
Late Sunday evening we had tried 66 positions, and my friend could
not think
of any more. She asked me if I could think of any we'd missed, and
being a
gentleman I replied, "Well, there's head to toe."
She lay on the bed, legs slightly apart, and I got on top, taking a
big
toe in my mouth to add to her pleasure. Suddenly she remembered the
airplane
position, and told me to spin slowly like a propeller, maintaining
penetration all the while. This eventually brought us into... the
missionary position.
Best fifty quid I ever lost.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a black guy, a white guy, and a Chinese guy. They all had
been in the bar before and saw this gorgeous woman. Well they made a
bet to see who could make the woman scream. The black guy goes in a
comes out and the women is laughing, and then the white guys goes
in,
well after he comes out she is laughing even harder. The Chinese guy
goes in and after a few minutes she is screaming bloody murder. Then
he comes out, and the other two guys said how did you do that, and
the Chinese guy goes "Me play trick, me put hot sauce on my dick!"
A streetwalker was visiting her doctor for a regular checkup. "Any
specific problems you should tell me about?" the doctor asked.
"Well,
I have noticed lately that if I get even the tiniest cut, it seems
to
bleed for hours," she replied. "Do you think I might be a
hemophiliac?
disorder and it is more often found in men, but it is possible for a
woman to be a hemophiliac. Tell me, how much you lose when you have
your period?" After calculating for a moment the hooker replied,
"Oh,
about seven or eight hundred dollars, I guess."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mini Sewing Machine
Mini Sew-Wonder is the new cordless sewing machine. It's as powerful
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drunk Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two drunks enter a hotel late at night. They approach the night-
clerk,
and one of them says: "Could you pleash give ush a bed with two
rooms?"
"You mean a room with two beds?" asks the clerk. "Whatever, whatever
you
shay."
So they get a key and somehow manage to stumble upstairs to their
room.
After fumbling for ten minutes, they even manage to get their door
open.
As they stumble inside, the door closes behind them and they are in
total darkness. They go forward slowly, and both fall on the bed
closest
to the door.
"Ahh," says one, "Now we can get some sleep at last." As they try to
rearrange themselves, they suddenly realize that they are not alone
in
their bed.
"Hey! There's somebody in my bed!" says one of them.
"There's somebody in my bed too!" says the other.
"Let's get rid of them. We paid for this room and we're going to
sleep
in the beds!" says the first.
They start a tremendous struggle. They heave and push until
eventually
one of them throws the other on the floor.
"ALL RIGHT!!" he shouts, "I've thrown mine off the bed."
"You're lucky," says the other, "I got thrown off and I'm too tired
to
fight any more."
"Well, never mind," says the first, "Why don't you just come and
share
my bed. Let's get some sleep round here."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm thinking about getting married. I looked up the word "engaged"
in the dictionary. It said, "To do battle with the enemy." Then I
looked up mother-in-law. It said, "See engaged."
Women claim that they never pursue a man. Well, by the same token, a
mousetrap never pursues a mouse, but the end result is the same.
DOCTOR <to his female patient>:
"You look so weak and exhausted! Are you having
your meals three times a day, as I advised?"
LADY PATIENT:
"Doctor, I thought you said three males a day!"
The trouble with my wife is that she has a weight
problem. Every time I want sex, she says, "Wait."
"In Missouri, a guy goes into a K-Mart releases a hundred
bees as a diversion for his shoplifting. The bees kept
banging against the glass, trying to get out. It's like
they knew they were at a K-Mart."
-- Jay Leno
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Answer a few questions to see if you qualify for the glucose meter
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/You Can't Go Home Again
http://silverandgol
Walking In Power
http://www.Shangral
God's Water Paintings
http://www.shangral
Carolyn w/Take My Hand Precious Lord
http://carolynsprec
.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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Surfin Surfari Via Wesley
Ford Shelby GR-1 Concept
http://tinyurl.
Here's the story of Burma Shave. by Martin Waterman Issue #37
http://www.backwood
Burma Shave Slogans of the Fifties - Page One
http://www.fiftiesw
Toilet Seat Scale
http://tinyurl.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Online Font Converter Via Wesley
http://onlinefontco
Create Free backgrounds Via Wesley
http://www.patternc
Tidy Read
http://www.tidyread
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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date:
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.caninega
Kitty Korner
Even eagles need a push
http://www.eaglesne
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Here is some more information about this new way to watch
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Movie Links
Swan
http://www.buffalos
Texas Shoot Out
http://www.buffalos
Things Men Will Do For A Cold Beer
http://www.buffalos
What It Feels Like Owning Stock In 2008
http://www.buffalos
Workout Bra
http://www.buffalos
Parent VS Kids
http://www.buffalos
Parking 1
http://www.buffalos
Parking 2
http://www.buffalos
Parking3
http://www.buffalos
Peeling
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop
failure.
A middle-aged woman was standing in front of her mirror admiring her
clothing. "Look, dear," she said to her husband, "I can still get
into the same skirts I had before I got married." "Yeah," he
snorted,
"I wish I could say the same."
Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to
get
or how long it is going to last.
A gay man is in a bar, on all fours, trying to pick up some money he
dropped. A big bouncer says, "Hey, you! Move it or I'll give you a
foot up the ass!" The gay man looks around and says, "I think you're
bragging, but I'm game if you are."
Eva is talking to her best friend. "I have to be damned careful not
to get pregnant," "I thought your husband had a vasectomy," "He
did!"
What was the first obscenity ever heard on TV?
"Ward, weren't you a little hard on the Beaver last night?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
ceremony
http://www.buffalos
champagne
http://www.buffalos
charm toon
http://www.buffalos
charmin
http://www.buffalos
cheap
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clean-n-Green Laundry Ball
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The bishop of Winchester Junction
Found his phallus would no longer function.
So in black crepe he wound it,
Tied a lily around it,
And solemnly gave it last unction.
There was a young lady of Norway
Who hung by her heels in the doorway.
She said to her beau,
"Hey, look at me, Joe,
I think I've discovered one more way."
There was a young girl from Odessa,
A rather unblushing transgressor.
When sent to the priest,
The lewd little beast
Began to undress her confessor!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Years back, when my son was about 18 months old, I, my wife, and the
kid
would go out for a hot fudge sundae every week, and split it three
ways.
On one occasion, after I placed the order, the nubile young lady in
the
local Baskin Robbins asked (with a bright smile that could have been
coquettish or merely polite) "Would you like your nuts wet or dry,
Sir?"
I immediately choked. This was, after all, exactly the kind of line
every male dreams of. Then I glanced at my wife, who was glaring
back at
me with a crimson complexion. Swallowing hard, I got a grip on my
libido.
"Uh... No nuts," I replied. "No nuts at all."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Since the wife is eight months into her pregnancy, the husband has
to
sleep on the floor to avoid any regrettable mistake, which might
happen pretty easily, for he has been desperate for quite a while
now... Just before lying down on the bed, she glances at him and
sees
the poor guy curled up on the floor, eyes stare widely into the
empty
air, filled with hopeless desire... Feeling sorry for her husband,
she opens the top drawer of the cabinet, takes out a fifty dollar
bill, and gives it to him: "Awww, my honey is so depressed... here,
take this and go to the woman next door, she will let you sleep with
her tonight... and remember that this happens only once... OK?...
Don't think about it again." The husband rolls his eyes in
disbelief,
but afraid that she may change her mind, he grabs the money and
leaves quickly. A few minutes later, he returns, hands the bill back
to the wife and says with much disappointment: "She said this is not
enough, she wants sixty..." The wife's face slowly turns red with
anger: "Damn that bitch... when she was pregnant and her husband
came
over here... I only charged him fifty!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1550
Trouble for Dad
The game is nearly over when the ushers mentioned they are to stay
late
for after game pictures.
So after the game the family go to center court and stand around
waiting
for orders.
First Katie gets her picture taken with her six foot long check....
Then the whole family with the Mascot...
Then BJ..is surrounded by eighteen cheerleaders as his picture is
taken
over and over and over.
When the pictures are done and they leave the building...
Slap!!!
BJ: What was that for?
Diana: I saw you smiling..
BJ: They told me to smile for the pictures.
Diana: You were smiling like a dirty old man.
Katie: Mother, he is old.
Diana: Hush Katherine, he is in enough trouble as is.
BJ: But, but.
Sandi whispering: Daddy, may I recommend you just hold your head
down and be quiet.
Rudy: You can not win with women Pops.
Sandi slapping Rudy: Watch what you say Rudy.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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