Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I'll probably get accused of being Japanese again but a couple
of comments on Toyota brought to mind by a possible runaway
Tacoma this morning. Toyota despite recalling 8.5 million
vehicles has reported a rise in sales for the first 8 days of March
of 50 % many of which were the Prius and Camry which seem
to be the most problematic. I know some of this is because of the
incentives being offered but no one has seemed to mention that
Toyota has a far better record of customer satisfaction than the Big
3.
Then when it comes to safety, Toyota still bests all of its
competitors
in its overall safety record, ranking near the bottom of automakers
with
the most complaints: 17th out of 20. The Big 3? GM rests at 11th,
Ford at 10th, and Chrysler nets the 7th most complaints. (IMPO
insider)
My Ford Explorer still has to go in for a recall involving a brake
light
switch that can catch fire while you are trying to stop. Don't get
me
wrong every company has had recalls and everything that causes an
injury or death should be investigated by the NTSB but now the
government wants to extend the black boxes to all vehicles with
real time monitoring. It is bad enough that many truckers have real
time monitoring of speed and location, I sure don't want to have my
vehicles telling the state every time I go five miles over the speed
limit.
Tell me that the states that are hurting for money wouldn't turn
that
information into a windfall. Maybe the solution is to install On
Star on
Toyotas. Then when you are doing 100 down a side street you can
report your car as stolen and they will turn it off remotely
Enjoy the chips .. buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Drug Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jesus, in a very worried state, convened all of his apostles and
disciples to an emergency meeting because of the high drug
consumption problem all over the world. After giving it much
thought they reached the conclusion that in order to better deal
with the problem, that they should try the drugs themselves and then
decide on the correct way to proceed. It was therefore decided that
a commission made up of some of the members return to earth to get
the different types of drugs. The secret operation is effected and
two days later the commissioned disciples begin to return to heaven.
Jesus, waiting at the door, lets in the first disciple: "Who is it?"
"It's Paul"
Jesus opens the door.
"What did you bring Paul?"
"Hashish from Morocco"
"Very well son, come in."
"Who is it?"
"It's Mark"
Jesus opens the door.
"What did you bring Mark?"
"Marijuana from Colombia"
"Very well son, come in."
"Who is it?"
"It's Matthew"
Jesus opens the door.
"What did you bring Matthew?"
"Cocaine from Bolivia"
"Very well son, come in."
"Who is it?"
"It's John"
Jesus opens the door.
"What did you bring John?"
"Crack from New York"
"Very well son, come in."
"Who is it?"
"It's Luke"
Jesus opens the door.
"What did you bring Luke?"
"Speed from Amsterdam"
"Very well son, come in."
"Who is it?"
"It's Judas"
Jesus opens the door.
What did you bring Judas?"
"The DRUG SQUAD.... EVERYONE AGAINST THE WALL!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
CSI SAN FRAN CISCO
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leftovers
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attemped
http://www.thepostm
I Feel Good
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I Forgot
http://sydesjokes.
I Have Everything I Need
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The gay man took two aspirin with his Viagra so sex wouldn't be such
a pain in the ass.
Outside a Church in Boston a young boy is weeping, and an old lady
approaches him and says, "What's wrong, honey?" The little boy
replies between sobs, "My Grandma passed away this morning." "I'm so
sorry to hear this," says the kind old lady. "Do you want me to call
Father O'Riley?" "No," replies the boy. "Sex is the last thing I
have in mind."
The difference between light and hard is that you can go to sleep
with a light on.
One day a completely naked young lady walks into a bar. Of course,
the bartender stares at her as she walks up to his bar. "What?" says
the young lass. "Haven't you seen a naked lady before?" The
bartender continues to stare at her. "Give me a beer," she says.
"And stop staring like a fool!" The bartender fetches her a brew and
then answers her original question -- "Of course I have seen naked
ladies before! But I was just curious as to where you'll pull the
money from to pay for this beer."
This old couple is ready to go to sleep so the old man lays on the
bed but the old woman lays on the floor. The old man asks, "Why are
you going to sleep on the floor?" The old woman says, "Because I
want to feel something hard for a change."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Witch Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A notorious womanizer left a trail of broken hearts behind him,
until he betrayed the wrong woman a practicing witch.
The morning after she had caught ICE-Man with another girl, he awoke
with an itchy bump in the middle of his forehead. ICE-Man thought
it was a pimple, but it continued to grow to ridiculous proportions
throughout the day.
In a panic, ICE-Man sought the advice of a physician who examined
the man and ran tests on the strange tissue. By now, the bump was
three inches long, and starting to take an oddly familiar shape.
"What is this thing growing out of my head Doctor?", asked ICE-Man.
"We've run every test we know to confirm the findings," he said
gravely, "but they all tell us the same thing. The bump in your
forehead is developing into a fully grown penis."
"I can't believe this! Isn't there anything you can do?" pleaded a
distraught ICE-Man.
"I'm afraid not. Removing it would kill you."
"I'll be a freak! No woman will come near me!" cried ICE-Man
"There's more," said the Doctor. "You're going to experience vision
problems."
"Will I go blind, Doc?" asked ICE-Man.
"No, you'll just have trouble seeing with testicles hanging in front
of your eyes."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Obama Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree - and think
25 to life would be appropriate. Jay Leno
America needs Obama-Care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
Jay Leno
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
Conan O'Brian
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser. Jay Leno
Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to
society.
The other is for housing prisoners. David Letterman
Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the
ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A. America. Fallon
Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers. Kimmel
Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for clunkers"
program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road. David
Letterman
Heather
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pussy Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
1) Expensive Pussy: Most pussy falls into this definition.
Expensive Pussy can be recognized by the following - fur coats, $500
dresses, spandex, bright colored shorts, and shirts with greek
letters on them.
98% of good pussy falls into this category.
Advantages: If you can afford it, it will be great. Disadvantages:
Many, mostly in the form of checking account depletion.
Often not worth it.
2) Cheap Pussy: Very rare. Usually comes in the form of a
girlfriend of yours who will not go away no matter what you do.
Cheap Pussy can be recognized by the following - she will often pay
for dinner, understands when you are broke, calls every day, wants
it constantly, easily hurt, but shakes it off.
Advantages: Inexpensive, guaranteed, loving, will try anything once
and sometimes twice. You're lucky if you find this.
Disadvantages: Won't go away, possessive, bugs you all the time, can
keep you from the tasks of finding other pussy, will eventually want
to get married and/or have children soon thus ruining it.
Often not worth it.
3) Hired Pussy: Found in the Hollywood area of Southern Cal and in
every other large city in the US and abroad. Recognized by scanty
clothes and come-hither looks. Expense varies greatly with the
quality. The difference between Hired Pussy and Expensive Pussy is
that the money is up-front.
Advantages: You don't have to stick around, won't tell your
girlfriend, doesn't care who you are or what you look like, often
very experienced, usually cheaper than Expensive Pussy.
Disadvantages: More expensive than Cheap Pussy in the long run, risk
of disease is high, is illegal in most areas and the risk of jail
time is high.
Often not worth it.
4) Virgin Pussy: This type is getting rarer each day. Recognized by
conservative clothes, good manners, and a marked distaste for dirty
jokes and porno movies. Can be very loving if you promise marriage,
but will cause you more problems as you go along. Frustration level
is high as Virgin Pussy tends to want to stay that way for some
unknown reason.
Advantages: Risk of disease is very low, will offer a very tight
"fit"
if it gives in, sometimes open to new experience, will often offer
"other" services if Virginity is to be maintained.
Disadvantages: Usually will not give in until marriage, will cause
discomfort upon use, not very imaginative, not usually into using
birth control which can cause "accidents", can only be used once.
Usually not worth it unless you're into that sort of thing.
5) Nympho Pussy: Very rare. Recognized by the tendency to drag you
by your balls into bed and going at it to the point of exhaustion
Very experienced, will teach you things you never knew. Expense
varies depending on level of Nymphomania.
Advantages: Will send you into la-la land, will try anything once.
Disadvantages: You are probably not the only one, thus disease risk
can be high, will tire you out and ask for more, can be unstable,
will not give a steady relationship.
Often not worth it.
6) Frigid Pussy: Less rare. See (4) for recognition. Difference is
that this Pussy will not yield no matter what. Any expense involved
is simply wasted (unless you are into real frustration)
Advantages: There are no advantages.
Disadvantages: Too many to list here. Best to stay away once
recognized.
Never worth it.
7) Innocent Nympho Pussy: Rare. Recognized by being in a small,
sweet, innocent package which you would never in a million years
think would give in, but when it does, you are in for a hell of a
surprise.
Often mistaken for (4). Expense varies, but usually falls into the
cheaper category.
Advantages: The surprise is blissful. Always worth it. Keep it if
you can.
Disadvantages: If (4) is mistaken for (7), serious consequences may
result. May or may not be faithful.
8) Party Pussy: Found at bars and at parties. Recognized by glass
of wine in hand and bloodshot eyes. Will engage in group
festivities while completely ripped. Expense usually covers drinks.
Make sure you are not ripped as to better enjoy the experience.
Advantages: Easy to obtain unless you are real unlucky. Be sure to
say the right things.
Disadvantages: Disease risk is high, will not usually remain
faithful, the Support System may tend to puke all over you.
Often not worth it.
9) Nutsy Pussy: Support System has psychological problems.
Recognized by the fact that she will go out with you, then spill her
problems on you.
May tend to kill you while you sleep. Gives in for no apparent
reason..
Usually found as a quiet co-worker.
Advantages: Easy.
Disadvantages: Never really worth it
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clean-n-Green Laundry Ball
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Green Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Irish man entered the confessional to confess.
'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last
confession. I had sex with Nookie Green twice last month.'
The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three
Hail Marys.'
Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional.
'Father, it has been two months
since my last confession. I've had sex with Nookie Green twice a
week for the past two months.'
This time, the priest questioned, 'Who is this Nookie Green?'
'A new woman in the neighborhood,
'Very well,' sighed the priest. Go and say ten Hail Marys.
At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the
sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman
entered the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fell upon
her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front
of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore
matching, shiny emerald-green shoes.
The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress
and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart...
just enough to reveal that she wasn't wearing any underwear.
The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, 'Is that Nookie
Green?'
The bug-eyed altar boy couldn't believe his own ears, but managed to
calmly reply,......
'No Father, I think it's just a reflection from her shoes'.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Swivel and sweep in any direction
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Additional Ordering Details:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Rose Of Friendship
http://silverandgol
Never
http://www.terrisfp
A Look Back In History
http://www.openmyey
John w/ Here Comes Peter Cottontail
http://heavens-
The Sleep Metaphore
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Beautiful Bridges
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Fashion Police
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Incredimail Letters Via day
http://howards-
Graphics
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Great Bellies Quill and Ink Names
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
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Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Links
Mum
http://www.buffalos
My New Country Song
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Never Smash A WD-40 Can
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New At Canadian Tire
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New From Glade
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Don't Eat While Driving
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Energy Star
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Exam
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Future Engineers
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Glock Home Protection
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dying Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss
their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker, and
one was a homosexual.
The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you
indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die."
The men left the doctor's office, each convinced that he would never
again indulge himself in his vice. While walking toward the subway
for their return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar.
The alcoholic, hearing the loud music and seeing the lights, could
not stop himself. His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where
he had a shot of whiskey.
No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his
stool, stone cold dead.
His companions, somewhat shaken up, left the bar, realizing how
seriously they must take the doctor's words. As they walked along,
they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning.
The homosexual looked at the chain smoker and said, "If you bend
over to pick that up, we're both dead."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
candle new scent
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candy
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cane
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can man
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can opener
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Humpty Dumpty sat on the bed,
Little Bo Peep was giving him head,
As soon as he came she started to weep,
She knew by the taste he'd been fucking her sheep.
There was a young woman named Maud
Who found herself now and then floored
--Or bedded, or chaired,
Or top of the staired--
Oh, well, it's the life of a broad.
There was a lady from Kent
To a football game she went
She stood near the goal
And opened her hole
And in the football went!
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rainbow Peppers - Grow 5 Different Colored Peppers on 1 Plant
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man is traveling through the desert when he comes upon an Indian
lying on
the ground stark naked with a hard-on sticking straight up in the
air. He
asks the Indian what he is doing, to which the Indian replies, "I am
telling
the time." The man tells the Indian that he does not believe it, so
the
Indian tells him that it is 1:00. The man looks at his watch and is
amazed
to find that it is exactly 1:00.
He travels a bit longer until he comes upon another naked Indian
lying on
the ground with a hard-on sticking straight up. He asks this Indian
what he
is doing and he too replies that he is telling the time. He tells
the Indian
to prove it and the Indian tells him that it is 2:00. The man looks
at his
watch and once again is amazed that the time is correct.
He continues his trek through the desert until he comes across an
Indian
lying naked in the sand, masturbating. He asks this Indian, "And
what the
hell are you doing?"
The Indian replied, "I am winding my watch!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A college coed finished her degree at a college in a small farming
town in
Oregon. Her fiancé had another semester to go to finish his degree
and then
they planned to marry in the spring. So the young woman decided to
get a job
until her fiancé finished school, but the only job she could find in
the
town was on a farm doing manual labor.
Her duties consisted of grooming the fields and ridding the crops
of
adjacent weeds, in other words using a hoe. Then came the end of the
semester, and her fiancé graduated, so they decided to get on with
the
nuptials. They went to the courthouse and requested a marriage
license.
The county clerk asked the usual questions like name, place of
birth,
occupation. The groom to be answered everything and, of course, gave
his
occupation as student as that was his most recent occupation. The
bride to
be answered everything until the clerk asked her occupation.
She thought about it a moment and then answered: "I'm a hoer."
The clerk looked at her to be husband and then her with a
dumbfounded look
on his face and then she spoke up: "Well, it's honest work."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1250
Re-Gin-erated
Sandi: Daddy, those two are driving me nuts.
BJ: What do you mean.
Sandi: Since Katie found out she is not old, she is running crazy,
jumping, playing and just being strange.
BJ: Great, she is being Katie, Krazy Katie.
Sandi: Then there is Rudy...Katie and Rudy hit the liquor cabinet.
BJ: and?
Sandi: Katie had her chablis and Rudy had some gin, and some more
gin and some more gin and he is outside playing with Leonard.
BJ: Who is Leonard?
Sandi: That is the problem. There is no Leonard. Leonard appeared
to him about the 3rd drink. He has been talking to Leonard and then
started to play frisbee with Leonard since then. It is strange to
watch.
BJ: Harmless though?
Sandi: I suppose so, but ... just look outside... Krazy Katie
running
around chasing squirrels and leaves and barking at the wind, and
then
there is my hubby, Rudy playing with the invisible man...sigh..
What's a girl to do?
BJ: I guess she could sit with her daddy and just snuggle.
Sandi: I can do that.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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