Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I'm not going to say much, I want to go out and enjoy the last
of the nice weather before it rains for a few days. All of the
snow is gone except where it is piled up and even that will
probably disappear with the rain. I suspect with this warm
weather that the sap is flowing and people are tapping trees
for maple syrup. At this rate it won't be long before the smelt
start running. They have already put weight restrictions on
the non-all-weather rated roads so the pulp haulers will be
waiting for the frost to come out of the ground because
they can't haul enough on a load to make it worthwhile. For
example on the gravel roads that we still have all over the county
in the woods, the reduction is 35%.
I do not personally think winter is over and I think about the 21st
we are going to get dumped on again but this is a welcome break.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mom was cleaning the house when she found her son's hidden stash of
S&M and sexual bondage magazines.
Naturally, she was very upset and she didn't know what to do. So,
she waited until her husband got home to discuss it with him.
After she showed him the magazines, she asked him, "Well, what are
you going to do about it?"
"I don't know what to do." he told her. "I really don't think I
should give him a spanking for this!"
One doctor tells another. "I just have to talk to some one I am so
guilt ridden." Second doctor says, "Well you can tell me I have a
lot of doctors confiding in me, maybe I can help." "Well for years
and years now I have been having sex with my patients every chance I
got and I just have to get it off my chest." "That is not too
strange a lot of doctors I know have sex with their patients,
However, I will admit not many of them are vets."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
left tit
http://www.thepostm
pardon me
http://www.thepostm
alive
http://www.thepostm
Hyundai
http://sydesjokes.
Hyundai Ad
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I Am Canadian
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Computer Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A husband and wife decided they needed to use a
code word to indicate that they wanted to have sex,
without letting their children in on the idea, so they
decided on the word "computer."
One day, the husband told his five year old daughter,
"Dear, go tell your mommy that Daddy needs to type
a letter. "
The child went into the next room and told her mom
what Daddy had said, and her mother responded,
"Honey, tell your daddy that he can't type a letter
right now because there's a red ink in the printer."
The child went back to tell her dad what her mom had
said.
A few days later, the mother told her daughter, "Honey,
go tell Daddy that he can type that letter now."
The child went into the next room and gave her dad
the message. A few moments later, she returned to
her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind
with the computer, he already wrote the letter by
hand."
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beaver Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up.
The
doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said "Things
are
great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who
is
pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began. "I
have
an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never
misses a season.
One day when he was setting off hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry
and
accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.
As he neared a lake he came across a very large male beaver sitting
at
the water's edge. He realised he'd left his gun at home and so
couldn't
shoot the magnificent creature but out of habit he raised his cane,
aimed it at the animal as if it were his favourite hunting rifle and
went 'bang,bang'.
Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now,
what do you think of that?" asked the doctor. The 80-year-old
said, "If
you ask me, I'd say somebody else pumped a
couple of rounds into that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly".
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cheese Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A pregnant woman rushed to the hospital to give birth shocked
doctors and staff when it was revealed that what she had passed off
as a fetus for months was in fact a large block of cheese. The
woman, whom hospital administrators have refused to identify due to
confidentiality rules, has a history of mental illness, according to
medical records obtained from people close to the situation. Not
only has she been detained in the past for public disturbances, but
she has been on significant doses of anti-depressant and
anti-psychotic medications for many years. One attending doctor,
speaking on the condition that they remain anonymous, remarked that
it is not uncommon for some individuals to fake medical conditions
in order to gain attention and financial support. Using cheese to
fake a pregnancy, however, seems to be unprecedented, even among the
mentally ill. "Beyond weird," remarked the doctor. "I don't know how
one would do it, but it must take an unwordly level of self
deception to even conceive of something like this." What's more, the
woman had apparently registered herself at several stores for an
upcoming baby shower and had been regularly consulting an
obstretician by phone.
With so much contact with others, it is unclear how she was able
to keep from revealing herself for so long. According to sources
familiar with the matter, all of her neighbors believed her to be
pregnant, and had helped her pay her rent and shop for baby clothes
and furniture. Around 4 am on Thursday, after the woman was heard
complaining loudly of severe pains outside an apartment building..
Neighbors, assuming that she was in labor, took her to an emergency
room where doctors uncovered a sodden and moldy mass of what they
later determined to be several bricks of cheddar cheese bound
together with twine. Residents of the apartment building refused to
comment, and the woman has been detained pending further psychiatric
evaluation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frog Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A princess is walking along a pond in the royal gardens when she
looks
down and sees a really ugly frog. Picking the frog up, she comments
on
the creature's rather hideous appearance.
Princess: "My, but you are really an ugly frog!"
Frog: "I know, I know, I got a really bad spell on me."
Princess: "Well I've seen frogs with spells but, none as ugly as
you."
Frog: "Look, leave me alone my dear. I told you, it's a really bad
spell."
Princess: "Well even so, if I kiss you will you turn into a prince?"
Frog: "I don't know dear, a spell this bad will probably take a blow
job."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Film Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This guy goes to Amsterdam to videotape a presentation. While
staying in
his hotel he finds an awesome porn channel on the TV, but, alas, he
has
no VCR or way to record it.
With a flash of inspiration, he sets up his video camera, points it
at
the TV, and tapes a few hours of hard core video.
On arriving home, he tells his best friend about the trip. The
conversation gets around to the porn tape and the man lends his
friend
the tape.
A couple of days later, the friend returns the tape. "Did, ahh, did
you
watch your tape?"
"No. I was watching the original. Wasn't any need to see the tape."
"Well, uhh, before you lend it out again, maybe you should watch
it,"
the friend advises.
The guy did as he was advised. And never lent out the tape again.
You see, the fella had forgotten to take into account the
*reflective*
nature of a television screen . . .
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A New Beginning
http://www.silveran
Blessing For You Via Peggy
http://www.andiesis
Judy w/ From Ireland They Came
http://frommyheart2
Creation Museum
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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And here's everything they don't want you to know...
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
The Rocking Horse via Wesley
http://www.theblogp
Census Bureau Home Page Via Dianne
http://www.census.
Cooking By Numbers
http://www.cookingb
Free 80's Arcade Games
http://www.triplets
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Here's a good one.... what users mean when they call the Help
Desk:
http://video.
Text To Speech Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.
Hard Drive Diagnostics - Top 5 Free Hard Drive Diagnostic Tools
http://pcsupport.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
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Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.funtrivi
http://www.reflecti
Koalas In A Heatwave
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
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Movie Links
Kind Of Scary
http://www.buffalos
Kitchen Table
http://www.buffalos
Law Enforcement.
http://www.buffalos
Lil Red Riding Hood Chunk
http://www.buffalos
Lucky Louie
http://www.buffalos
The Mom Song
http://www.buffalos
Tolerant Cat
http://www.buffalos
Uncle Jay
http://www.buffalos
Walk-in Closet
http://www.buffalos
Who Needs Pockets
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Qand A Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A: The grip.
Q. How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard
Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A: Because everybody who can run, jump, and swim are already in
America.
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
Q: How are women and rocks alike?
A: You skip across the flat ones.
Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A: It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy.
Q: What's the difference between a '90's woman and a Computer?
A: A '90's woman won't accept a three and a half inch floppy.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Q: How do Greeks separate the men from the boys?
A: With a crowbar.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick
A: When you lay a brick, it doesn't follow you around for two weeks
whining.
Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A: The swallow.
Q: What's a blonde's favourite nursery rhyme?
A: Hump-me Dump-me.
Q: What's the difference between erotic and kinky?
A: Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole
chicken.
Q: Why do Greek men wear gold neck chains?
A: So they know where to stop shaving.
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
Q: Why don't men fake orgasm?
A: Cuz no man would pull those faces on purpose.
Q. What are the small bumps around a woman's' nipples for?
A. Its Braille for "suck here".
Q. Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than
improving their minds?
A. Because most men are stupid but few are blind.
Q. Why do men die before their wives?
A. They want to.
Q. Why do women have tits?
A. So men will talk to them.
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
camel huge
http://www.buffalos
camel toe cup
http://www.buffalos
camel toe 2
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camel toe3
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came too soon
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a woman, Monique,
Who proclaimed an efficient technique:
"One fuck daily's just right."
She did seven one night,
And then found that it made her hole weak.
____________
There once was a young man named Eugene
Who invented a screwing machine
Concave and convex
It served either sex
And it played with itself in between.
____________
There once was an odious brute
Who made love in his Sunday-best suit.
The result, as you'd guess,
Was a wet, sticky mess,
And a very chaifed maiden to boot.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A buxom, blonde, young advertising secretary
wore tight knit dresses that showed off her
figure, especially when she walked. Her young,
aggressive boss motioned her into his office
one afternoon and closed the door. Pointing
to her tightly covered derriere, he asked, "Is
that for sale?"
"Of course not!" the blonde snapped angrily,
blushing furiously.
Unchanged, he replied quietly, "Then, I suggest
you quit advertising it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Touch-n-Brush - Hands Free Toothpaste Dispenser
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ageing
I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and
exhaustive
Lab test, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him,
"Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?"
"Oh no", I replied. "I've never done either."
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
I said, "No, I heard that all red meat is very unhealthy."
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf / sailing
/
Ballooning / motorcycling / rock climbing?" "No, I don't", I said.
He said, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or sexually fool around?"
"No", I said. "I have never done any of those things."
He looked at me and said... "Then why do you give a sh*t if you live
to be
80?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1541
Right Idea, Wrong Time
Diana: What are the kids doing outside?
BJ: I don't know. Looks like they are selling stuff. I will go
check it
out.
Outside...
BJ: What are you guys doing?
Katie: We got a great deal on some merchandise and are selling fur
coats at a discount.
BJ: Ah, it is eighty degrees today.
Rudy: Told you it was not a good idea.
Katie: We got these from Siberia for a great deal.
BJ: What good are they at any price, if you cannot sell them?
Sandi: Perhaps if we re-package them? I have an idea.
A little while later the "Fur Coats for Sale" sign is down and is
replaced by "Get your Fur Lined Seat Covers Here"
Soon people are driving up and stopping to buy the fur lined seat
covers.
Sandi: See daddy, it is just a matter of packaging.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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