THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Age does not always come with wisdom.
Wisdom is earned. Age is free
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Today I will keep my comments brief.
I want to run up to Best Buy and get
one of their new entertainment centers.
I hear the supply is limited.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________
THE COMICS
blind
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s040.html
engagement ring
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s041.html
parking area
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s042.html
very romantic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s043.html
my head
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s044.html
the lions
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s045.html
Marvin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s046.html
in heaven
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s047.html
free gas
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s048.html
excersize
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s049.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
naked man
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9313.html
I'm stuck
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9314.html
I have this ball
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9315.html
car and bike show
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9316.html
school teachers marriage
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9317.html
the oldest trick in the world
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9318.html
A blonde is taking the driving portion of her driver's
license exam. She handles most of the maneuvers quite
well.However, she has a little trouble parallel parking,
and winds up a about a foot from the curb.
"Could you get a little closer?" the examiner asks.
The blonde then unbuckles her seat belt and slides
over toward the examiner and asks, "OK, sir... Now what?"
______________
The Perfect Man
The perfect man is gentle
Never cruel or mean
He has a beautiful smile
And keeps his face so clean.
The perfect man likes children
And will raise them by your side
He will be a good father
As well as a good husband to his bride.
The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning and vacuuming too
He'll do anything in his power
To convey his feelings of love on you.
The perfect man is sweet
Writing poetry from your name
He's a best friend to your mother
And kisses away your pain.
He never has made you cry
Or hurt you In any way
Oh, %*#%!@# this stupid poem
The perfect man is gay!!
________________
Marsha completed four weeks of dental restoration with
the dentist.
She confided to her best friend that she had fallen
in love with her dentist ...and she was going to
propose to him.Her friend said, " Marsha your 34 years
old, your beautiful,you have dozens of men that adore
you. Why this dentist?"" Because he is the First
man that ever said to me.....SPIT, don' t SWALLOW. "
___________
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent
terrorist threats and have raised their security level
from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security
levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even
"A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross"
since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a
"Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a
"Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great
fire of 1666.The Scots raised their threat level from
"Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards". They don't have
any other levels. This is the reason they have been used
on the front line in the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has
raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The
only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and
"Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire
that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
paralyzing the country's military capability.
It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of
alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout
loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing."
Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations"
and "Change Sides."The Germans also increased their alert
state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform
and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels:
"Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose".
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual,
and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling
out of Brussels.The Spanish are all excited to see their new
submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs
have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really
good look at the old Spanish navy.
Americans meanwhile and as usual are carrying out pre-emptive
strikes, on all of their allies, just in case.
And in the southern hemisphere ... New Zealand has also
raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!". Due to
continuing defense cutbacks (the airforce being a squadron
of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy
some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand
only has one more level of escalation, which is "Shit, I
hope Australia will come and rescue us". Australia, meanwhile,
has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be
right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!",
"I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The
barbie is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted
use of the final escalation level.
_____________
"Oh Mom!" sobbed Little Mary, "I'm pregnant!"
"What!? How could you?" screamed the Mother,
"and just who is the father?"
The daughter lifted up her tearful face and wailed,
"How should I know?
You're the one who would never let me go steady!"
FUN PAGES
21 Of The Best New Insults
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41132&s=n
Ms Pac-Man Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41546&s=n
Balloon Eater
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38556&s=n
Baby Baby
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41671&s=n
_________
BUFFALO BILL
3rd World Bomb Squad
http://www.buffaloschips.com/61627.htm
ICTV
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6241.htm
Leno Photo Booth
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6242.htm
____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Iraqi Documentary With Sub Titles
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000822.html
Irish Pedestrian Crossing
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000823.html
Irn Bru Snowman Advert
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000824.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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