THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
By the time a man is wise enough to watch
his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
- Billy Crystal
PLAY FREE GAMES
Have you tried that new game?
pig on the rocket??
Watch out for Flappy the duck.
Grab all of the fruit and fuel as you pass it.
Play hundreds of your favorite games from
anywhere with the Platrium Playbar
PLAY FOR FREE!
http://www.tinyurl.com/yeyfco8
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
SUMMER IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER HERE IN MICHIGAN !
THE BIRDS ARE SINGING.
THE FLOWERS ARE GETTING READY TO BLOOM.
THE WATER IS ALMOST READY FOR SWIMMING.
WELL, I SAID ALMOST.............
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_______________
THE COMICS
hey look hon
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s020.html
quality time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s021.html
funny
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s022.html
Dear Oprah
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s023.html
I wish
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s024.html
any questions?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s025.html
normal
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s026.html
my secret
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s027.html
thank you for calling
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s028.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
trimmin it up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9300.html
drillin holes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9301.html
yard work
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9302.html
one night at the bar-wav file
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9303.html
breaking news
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9304.html
shipwrecks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9305.html
________________
A married couple went to the hospital to have their
baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said
that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech
machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's
labour pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were
interested. Both said they were very much in favour of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters,
explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the
father had ever experienced before. But as the labour
progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor
to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then
adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband
was still feeling fine. The doctor then checked the
husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he
was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%.
The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the
pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably,
the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the
pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with
virtually no pain and the husband had experienced none.
She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home they found the postman dead on the porch.
______________
Two older, successful businessmen met at a resort.
One who had recently retired was describing his life,
"I get up late in the morning, have a light breakfast
and then I lie down on my Veranda for a while and relax.
In the afternoon I go inside for lunch, have a great
salad, fruits and cold fish, then I spend the rest of
the afternoon boating or playing golf or tennis...
When it starts to get dark I have a great dinner with
the finest wines. I smoke a Cuban cigar. Then I go lie
on my Veranda again."The other gentleman acknowledges
that this is a life to be envied. Later he reported the
conversation to his wife. She asked, "What's his wife's name?"
Her husband said, "I'm not sure, but I think it's Veranda."
___________
A man has been shipwrecked on a desert island for ten
years. One day he spots a ship on the horizon. He
frantically waves his arms and jumps up and down shouting,
until he spies a rowboat being let down into the water from
the ship. About ten minutes later, the rowboat reaches
the shore carrying a man in a captain's uniform. "Thank
Christ for that!" says our shipwrecked hero, "I thought
I was never going to be rescued."
"How long have you been here?" asks the Captain.
"Ten years, ten long years."
"Ten years? How have you coped all that time on your own?"
"Well, I'm quite a resourceful fellow, I've built my
own house; there it is, over there."
"But ten years! Ten years without sex!"
"Ahhhh, well, that's not quite true" says the man shyly.
"About six months ago I was down here on the shore
washing my feet, when I noticed an ostrich up the beach with
it's head buried in the sand and it's ass facing me. Well,
I thought it's been nine and a half years, so I crept
up behind it and WALLOP!""Oh God, that must have been
disgusting!" cries the shocked Captain.
"Well, it was alright for the first five miles,
but then we got out of step."
_____
A regular walked into a bar and said, "Bartender, one
round for everyone, on me!"The bartender replied,
"Wow! You're in a really good mood tonight!"
"Indeed!" the man said. "I just got hired by the city
to go around and remove all the money from the parking
meters. I start tomorrow!" The bartender congratulated
the man and proceeded to pour a round for everyone.
The next night, the same man walked back in. "Bartender,
another round for everyone, on me!" he said.
As the bartender was pouring the drinks, he said, "If
you're this happy about your new job, I can just imagine
how happy you'll be when you get your first paycheck!"
The man went wide-eyed, grinned from ear to ear, pulled
out a handful of quarters from his pocket and said,
"You mean they pay me too?"
_____________
Roger's wife, Lucy, had been after him for several
weeks to paint the seat on their commode. Finally, he
got around to doing it while Lucy was out. After finishing,
he left to take care of another matter before she returned.
She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting
in the shower, she sat on the commode. As she tried to stand
up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued
her to the commode seat. About that time, Roger got home
and realized her predicament.They both pushed and pulled
without any success whatsoever.Finally, in desperation,
Roger undid the commode seat bolts. Lucy wrapped a
sheet around herself and Roger drove her to the Hospital
Emergency Room. The ER Doctor got her into a position
where he could study how to free her. Lucy tried to
lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying,
"Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything
like this before." The Doctor replied, "Actually,
I've seen lots of them. I just
never saw one mounted and framed before."
______________
Negotiations between union members and their employer
were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers
were flagrantly abusing the sick-leave provisions set out
by their contract. One morning at the bargaining table,
the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning
edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced,
"called in sick yesterday!" There on the sports page,
was a photo of the supposedly ill employee,
who had just won a local golf tournament with an
excellent score.A union negotiator broke the silence in the room.
"Wow!" he said. "Just think of the score he could
have had if he wasn't sick!"
____________
FUN PAGES
The Stone of Destiny
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41796&s=n
One Stupid Lady
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=40655&s=n
Pac-Man Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41547&s=n
Ant Lovers
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41424&s=n
____________
BUFFALO BILL
good neighborhood
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s016.html
spell check
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s017.html
on the jet
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s018.html
_______________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Intersection.wmv
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000816.html
Intervention Test - Triumph Boats
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000817.html
Invisable Fence
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000818.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
No comments:
Post a Comment