THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Acceptance is the secret of contentment.
Appreciation is the secret of happiness.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREUA OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
PRESIDENT OBAMA today promised that he and the
Democratic party would spearhead an attempt to
make their policies more palatible and acceptable
to republicans and conservatives. This new move
towards diplomacy is generated by their interest
in passing their health reform measures. So,
what they have done is to offer the conservatives
a new spray called bullshit repelent. You spray
it on during one of Obama's speeches, and the
listener is more likely to accept his bullshit.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
________________
THE COMICS
time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q070.html
curiosity
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q071.html
present
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q072.html
expenses
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q073.html
101
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q074.html
this
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q075.html
new batteries
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q076.html
sex
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q077.html
cash
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q078.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Mama don't 'low-Bill Cosby and Jose Feliciano
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9281.html
The last South China tiger
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9282.html
Japanese filming goes bad...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9283.html
hey ladies
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9284.html
I'm not doing that here!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9285.html
_______________
Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted
an Irishman. So, one of the Englishmen walked
over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder,
and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a faggot."
"Oh really, hmm, didn't know that."
Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his
buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a faggot, and
he didn't care." The second Englishman remarked,
"You just don't know how to set him off...watch and
learn." So, the second Englishman walked over to
the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said,
"Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a transvestite
faggot!" "Oh really, hmm, didn't know that."
Shocked beyond belief, the Englishman went back
to his buddies. "You're right. He's unshakable!"
The third Englishman remarked, "Boys, I'll really
tick him off... just watch." So the third Englishman
walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the
shoulder and said, "I hear St. Patrick was an
Englishman!"
"Yeah, that's what your buddies were trying to tell me."
_____________
Two pedophiles were walking down the street one day
when they came across a pair of small lacey knickers
on the ground.The first one picks them up, smells
them and goes, "Aahhh . . . A seven-year-old girl."
The other grabs them from him and also takes a smell
and goes, "No, no . . . Definitely an eight-year-old girl!"
The two of them are then smelling them in turns and
arguing. "An eight-year-old!", "No, a seven-year-old!",
"Definitely an eight-year-old!" . . . and so on.
The local priest is walking past as the two men argue
and can't help but ask them what the commotion is all about.
The first pedophile tells the priest, and asks him if
he could sort out the argument, so the priest takes the
knickers, has a good long sniff, and after pondering for
a few moments he looks at the two men and says:
"Definitely an eight-year-old girl! . . .
but not from my parish!"
____________
Mrs. Pete Monaghan came into the newsroom
to pay for her husband's obituary. She was told
by the kindly newsman that it was a dollar a word
and he remembered Pete and wasn't it too bad
about him passing away. She thanked him for
his kind words and bemoaned the fact that she
only had two dollars. But she wrote out the
obituary, "Pete died."
The newsman said he thought old Pete
deserved more and he'd give her three
more words at no charge. Mrs. Pete Monaghan
thanked him and rewrote the obituary:
"Pete died. Boat for sale."
_____________
There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he
was showing his arrogant preppy son nemed Ed, around
his factory. Try as he might to impress his snobbish
son, his son would just sneer. They approached the
heart of the factory, where the father thought,
"This should impress him!" He showed his son a machine
and said "Son, this is the heart of the factory. With
this machine here we can put in a pig, and out come
sausages. The prudish son, unimpressed, said "Yes,
but do you have a machine where you can put in a
sausage and out comes a pig?" The father, furious,
thought and said, "Yes Ed, we call it your mother."
______________
As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the
peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks
that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter
what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to
calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously
and kick the seats around him.
Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly
man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen
slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the
flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired,
courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning
toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.
Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's
hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other
passengers burst into spontaneous applause.
As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat,
one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve. "Excuse
me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you
what magic words you used on that little boy?"
The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I
showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle
ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one
passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose."
_____________
Following a successful rally, the evangelist was relaxing
in his trailer, when there was a knock at the door. "Come
in," he said. A young maiden, truly beautiful, threw
herself at his feet and said, "Reverend, I have nothing
to give but my body." The preacher looked skyward, "Lord,
deliver me from temptation." And then following a long
pause, he began unbuttoning his shirt, and added,
"In about an hour or so."
___________
FUN PAGES
Paparazzi
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41768&s=n
Funny But Sexy T-Shirt Girl
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=40650&s=n
Desk Top Fishing
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41570&s=n
BMW Drift
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38547&s=n
___________
BUFFALO BILL
Office B
http://www.buffaloschips.com/skslkds.htm
Polaroid
http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkala.htm
Porky Pig
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sddssd.htm
____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
IKEA Pig Farmer
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000795.html
IKEA Spaghetti
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000796.html
Ikea Switch
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000797.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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