THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Never is freedom of speech more precious
than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer.
Go shopping with a $500 Dollar General
Gift Card- details apply
http://www.tinyurl.com/yho6zqy
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Today, Friday, March 5th is National Be Kind Day.
Be Kind Day was created because "we ought to do
something nice for people every day." This day is dedicated
to doing something nice for people we do not know.
Meaning we do something nice for someone in ANY economic class:
the Business owner, the actor, police man, or the homeless man.
We all can do something nice for each other. Our hope in
creating this day to have individual lives touched in a positive way.
Who knows you might make a freind.
Here are some Ideas to do something kind:
Give something to every person who walks in to your store
Donate books
Write a thank you note to the local school super attendant
Bring extra paper to the day care
Take up a collection to purchase items
needed by a nonprofit organization
Write a something positive to your local politician
even if you disagree with their views.
You can comment on how there did or looked.
Write a thank you note for a media person
Give your old glasses to the Lyons club
Give new shoes to people
Donate something nice for someone
Buy business cards for a business owner
Bring a flower for all the people in an office
Ask business to donate something for people who
give blood, and coordinate a blood drive.
Give the items the items to the people who donated blood
Buy flower for someone in the hospital you do not know
Buy flowers for the business owner
Rent a boat for a your group for the kids and go fishing
Buy food for someone you do not know–
Carry inexpensive, pocket-sized rain ponchos in your
car and hand them out to pedestrians who are
getting drenched in a downpour.
Ask your children to go through their toys and
donate some of them to children who are less fortunate
Pay for a random person's meal
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________
THE COMICS
believe me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p040.html
what I said
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p041.html
I didn't know
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p042.html
sorry dear
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p043.html
sizzle
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p044.html
junior
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p045.html
do the right thing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p046.html
if something is bothering you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p047.html
swat team
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p048.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
tight jeans
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9218.html
Extreme snowboarding
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9219.html
sister
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9220.html
monkey on the bike
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9221.html
James Bond and visa
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9222.html
Goofy-1949
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9224.html
Mickey mouse-hotdog song
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9225.html
Sponge Bob Censured Pants
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9226.html
Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California has
now identified with certainty the heaviest element
known to science. The new element, Pelosium (PL), has
one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons,
and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic
mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by
forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast
quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Pelosium is inert, and has no charge and no magnetism.
Nevertheless, it can be detected because it impedes every
reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of
Pelosium can cause a reaction that would normally take less
than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Pelosium has a normal half-life of 2 years. It does not decay,
but instead undergoes a biennial reorganization in which a
portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons
exchange places. Pelosium mass will increase over time,
since each reorganization will promote many morons to become
isodopes.This characteristic of moron promotion leads some
scientists to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons
reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is
referred to as critical morass.When catalyzed with money,
Pelosium becomes Senatorium, an element that radiates just
as much energy as Pelosium since it has half as many peons
but twice as many morons.
__________
A senior citizens' group charters an overnight bus trip
from Tampa , Florida toBranson , MO.
As they entered Missouri , an elderly woman comes up to the
bus driver and says, 'I've just been molested!'
The driver felt that she had fallen asleep and had a dream..
So he tells her to go back to her seat, and sit down.
A short time later, another old woman comes forward, and
claims that she was just molested. The driver thought he had
a bus load of old wackos, but who would be molesting those
old ladies? About 10 minutes later, a third old lady comes up
and says that she'd been molested too. The bus driver decides
that he'd had enough and pulls into the first rest area.
When he turns the lights on and stands up, he sees an old man
on his hands and knees crawling in the aisles.
'Hey gramps, what are you doing down there?' says the bus driver.
'I lost my toupee. I thought I found it three times, but every
time I try to grab it it runs away!'
__________________
I was on my way to invest more money at Home Depot this
morning, trying to do my part to stimulate the economy.
I found myself behind this little rice burner of a car
bearing a bumper sticker that read, "We did it!" -
"Obama / Biden". Well, as luck would have it she pulled
along side of me at a red light about a half mile down the
road.I beeped my horn and gave her a big thumbs up.She
rolled down her window and I said, "I love your bumper sticker!
She heartily thanked me. And I quickly added, "It's really
good that you are taking responsibility for your mistake!"
She gave me the finger and drove off. Such a humorless bitch.
________________
SEX IS BETTER THAN SCHOOL BECAUSE
1. Everybody likes sex and nobody likes school, except for
virgins and only because they haven't had sex yet.
2. Sex sucks, moans, licks, pumps, throbs etc..., school
just sucks.
3. After sex you feel like smoking a cigarette. After school
you feel like smoking something a whole lot stronger.
4. You get disciplined during sex only if you want to.
5. Drinking drives people to sex, whereas school
drives people to drink.
6. Sex relieves stress, school is the cause of stress.
7. Nothing beats the "hands on" experience you get with sex.
8. After sex you feel like you have accomplished something.
9. Sex is cheaper. Even if you have to pay for a hooker,it
is still cheaper than paying thousands of dollars in tuition.
10. At least you have a choice whether or not you want
to have sex. At school your teachers screw you regardless.
____________
Three engineering students were discussing the
possible designers of the human body. One said,
"It had to be a mechanical engineer, look at all
the joints." Another said, "No, it had to be an
electrical engineer, the nervous system is just a
marvel of millions of electrical connections." The
third said, "Actually, it was a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline
right through a recreational area?"
________________
After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with
his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old
barbershop in Jersey to say hello to his friends.
Giovanni said, "Hey Luigi, how wasa da treep? "
Luigi said, "Everyting wasa perfecto except for da
train ride down." "Whata you mean, Luigi?" asked Giovanni.
"Well, we boarda da train at Grana Central Station.
My beautiful Virginia , she pack a biga basket a food.
She brough ta da vino, some nice cigars for me, and we
were lookina forward to da trip, and open upa da
luncha basket. The conductore come aby, waga his
finger at us anda say, 'no eat indisa car. Musta
use a dining car.' So, me and my beautiful Virginia,
we go to da dining car, eat a biga lunch and starta ta
open da bottle of a nice a vino! Conductore walka by
again, waga his finger and say, 'No drinka in disa car!
Musta use a cluba car.' So, we go to cluba car.
While a drinkina da vino, I starta to lighta my biga
cigar. The conductore, he waga is finger again and say,
'No a smokina disa car. Musta go to a smokina car.'
"We go to a smokina car and I smoke a my biga cigar.
Then my beautiful Virginia and I, we go to a sleeper
car anda go to bed. We just about to go boombada boombada
and the conductore, he walka through da hallway shouting
at a top of his a voice..
'Nofolka Virginia! Nofolka Virginia!'
________________
A little guy is sitting at the bar staring at his drink
when a large, threateningly leering biker steps up next
to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, watcha' gonna do about it?" he says menacingly,
as the little guy bursts into tears. "Come on, man,"
the biker says, " I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t
stand to see a man crying." "This is the worst day of
my life," says the little guy."I`m a complete failure. I
was late to a meeting, and my Boss fired me. When I went
to the parking lot, I found my car stolen and I don't
have any insurance, I left my wallet in the cab I took home.
I found my wife in bed with the gardener and then my dog
bit me. "So I came to this bar to work up the courage to
put an end to it all."I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in,
and sit here watching the poison dissolve. Then a wise-ass
like you shows up and drinks the whole thing!"
________________
SYDESJOKES LIST
How To Dance Like A White Guy
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000756.html
How To Drive A Hummer In Iraq
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000757.html
How To Get A Job In Time Of Crisis
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000758.html
____________
BUFFALO BILL
Viagra Commercial
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ngfdrtd.htm
Weight Lifting Surprise
http://www.buffaloschips.com/cdfgdsxgrfd.htm
Why Airplanes Have Pillows
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hjfrfdty.htm
_____________
FUN PAGES
Diary of a Mad Cat
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=40950&s=n
Realistic Deer Hunting Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41499&s=n
Pregnant Goldfish
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=39826&s=n
Two (Too) Funny Motivationals
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=40946&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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