THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
(USA Today)- If the price of regular soda and
other sweetened beverages increased by 18%, people
would consume an average of 56 fewer calories a day
and lose about 5 pounds a year, according to projections
in a study out Monday in the Archives of Internal Medicine.
To come to this conclusion, nutrition researchers at
the University of North Carolina studied the eating
habits of more than 5,000 young adults over a period of
20 years and found associations between higher food costs
and lower calorie intake. A $1 increase in soda was
associated with a decreased intake of a 124 calories a day,
and therefore a decrease in body weight.
There you have it.
Remember when the gov'mit decided that smoking
was bad for us? What happened? the gov'mit. raised
the price. According to them, we smoke less now.
So, what happens these days when we let the gov'mit
decide that a bottle of pop is bad for us? Guess what, they gonna
get you now on that lil bottle of pop, now, too. Ain't that wonnerful?
Wonnerful, I tell you, jes wonnerful. (as my pappy would say.)
Tax pop, raise more money, people will be healthier too!
Riiigghhtt!!!
Wonder why they can't do that with illegal drugs?
Make em all legal. Then raise the price! Don't it
follow that by the same logic, more people would
quit usin em? Probably would be a more effective
means of control than they are using now anyways.
Shit, I should be the president instead of a joke teller.
_________________________
How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue?..
and then you add eggs and sugar...
and you get cake?
Where did the glue go ? NEED AN ANSWER?
You know darned well where it went!
???????????? ????????????????
That's what makes the cake Stick to your ass
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_______________
backseat
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the window cleaner
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access denied
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promoted
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this years award
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mc sex
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pardon me
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alive
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___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Jimmy Kimmel
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shipwrecks in paradise
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stunt driver
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Durex
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get away from me
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It was the usual scene in the City's Night Court, the
Police had rounded up the usual collection of street
walkers and brought them before the Judge; three stood
before him, all arrested on the same corner. He asked
the first lady what she had to say for herself.
The woman was irate, "I don't know what all this is
about your Honor. I'm a college student doing research
for a term paper." The Judge sighed and said, "Well, Miss,
I would have thought you'd done enough research by now.
My computer says you have two prior convictions. Thirty
days and $250 fine." He then turned to the second lady
and requested her to testify. The woman began crying
softly and said, "Judge, I am just a housewife out getting
a pack of cigarettes for my husband. I have no idea
why I was arrested." This time, the Judge shook his
head and said, "Well, young lady, the officer tells
me that he saw you had a stack of bills along with the
cigarettes to your 'husband' in his new Cadillac.
Thirty days and $250 fine." He turned to the last of
the trio and asked her occupation. The woman said simply,
"I'm a hooker." Refreshed at her honesty, the Judge
laughed and said, "How's business?" She sneered and replied,
"Terrible Judge, with all these students and housewives
undercutting me, I can't turn a single trick."
_________________
One evening Snow White decided she was sleepy and
announced to the seven dwarfs that she was going to bed.
After the usual lengthy round of "Good Nights," she went
upstairs. Immediately, all seven dwarfs rushed outside
and began standing on each others shoulders beneath Snow
White's bedroom window. Tonight was Grumpy's turn to be
on the top and as he was the only one who could see in the
window it was his duty to inform the other dwarfs what
she was doing.After a minute or two he hollered down,
"She's taking off her blouse!" and this was echoed down
the stack "taking off her blouse," "she's taking off her
blouse," "blouse is coming off," "taking off her blouse,"
etc.Next Grumpy yelled, "She's taking off her skirt,"
which was followed by the echoes "taking off her skirt,"
"she's taking off her skirt," "skirt's coming off,"
"taking off her skirt," etc.Of course the next line from
Grumpy was, "She's taking off her bra!" and the echo
chorus went down the line.Then, "She's taking off her
panties!" which again cascaded down the dwarf tower.
Finally, Grumpy looked around and from his vantage height
saw someone coming through the woods, so he yelled,
"Someone's coming!" And from the next dwarf down to the
bottom dwarf was heard, "Me too." "Me too." "Me too." "
Me too." "Me too." "Me too.
___________
Severely constipated, Ammar went to the doctor and was given a
prescription for suppositories. Never having used them in the old
country, Ammar proceeded to eat one a day for a week.
Still constipated, he went back to the doctor who looked at him
with amazement.
"I can't believe it. A week of these and you still haven't moved
your bowels." He threw up his hands. "Are you sure you used the
entire box?"Snarling with disgust, Ammar said,
"Whadda hell you think I do, shove them up my ass?"
___________
Q. What does a virgin and a balloon have in common?
A. One prick and it's all over!
Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A. After five years your job still sucks.
Q. What do you get when you cross a rooster and peanut butter?
A. A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
_______________
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a
restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat
hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu....
+ Tourist: $5.00
+ Broiled Missionary: $10.00
+ Fried Explorer: $15.00
+ Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00
The cannibal called the waiter over and asked,
"Why such a price difference for the Politicians?"
The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one?
They're so full of shit, it takes all morning…
____________
A young Aussie joins the navy. On the day he is about
to go to sea, his father warned him to be aware of gay sailors.
"But Dad, how will I know?"
"Trust me son, you will know."
After 6 months at sea, the ship comes into port.
The father was on the dock waiting for his son. The son,
seeing his father, got off the ship and shook his hand.
"Well on, how did it go?"
"Dad, I found out what you meant about gay sailors. One
night I was out on deck all alone when a man came by and
put his hand on my shoulder so I threw him overboard."
"But how could you tell he was gay?"
"Well, for 3 days he swam behind the boat yelling,"
"THROW ME A BUOY, THROW ME A BUOY!"
__________
FUN PAGES
Call The Police
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41657&s=n
Outdoor Shootout Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41505&s=n
Mr. Bean
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=20497&s=n
Octopus Eats Self
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=39817&s=n
___________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Hyundai
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Hyundai Ad
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I Am Canadian
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______________
BUFFALO BILL
Person Of The Week
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ksdaa.htm
Puppy VS Mirror
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sjdskjd.htm
Recession USA
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdklslkw.htm
That's all folks!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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