Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Well it is getting close to 50 today and I believe we have already
broke the record of 48 degrees from 2007. Not a lot happening
in the house but we have had an armed robbery of an insurance
company up here that is generating some news, they even had
a police artist's sketch of the guy this morning. The last armed
robbery I can remember was a gas station about 10 years ago
and the person was just released from jail recently. Boring but
as long as you avoid the occasional drunken brawl you are safe
anywhere in this town day or night.
The Catholic Church is considering canonizing Bishop Baraga
so we may have our own saint. In the 1600's he was responsible
for the founding of many of the churches up here and converting
the Indian tribes. He and the other missionaries did that all on
foot.
Baraga's diocese was in Marquette but he had a home here and
the first church was built here about the time we became a
settlement on 1668.
Enjoy the chips and the weather... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Snoring Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the
wife goes to the vet to see if he can help.
The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles
and he will stop snoring.
"Yeah right!" she says.
A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual.
The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep.
Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of
red ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's testicles. Sure
enough, the dog stops snoring! The woman is amazed!
Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out
drinking with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep and
begins snoring loudly.
The woman thinks maybe the ribbon might work on him. So she goes to
the closet again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon and ties it around
her husband's testicles. Amazingly, it also works on him! The woman
sleeps soundly.
The husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the
bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet,
he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his
privates. He is very confused and as he walks back into the bedroom
he sees the red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles.
He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers, "I don't know
where we were, or what we did, but, by God, we took first and second
place!"
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
hard on me
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hussy
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a gas meter
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I Am Canadian - Hockey Fight
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I Am Not Canadian
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I Believe I Can Fly
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple of old cowboys (Sam and Bubba) were sitting
in a bar having a drink (or two or three) , doing what most
old cowboys do; complaining about the heat, the cows and
their wives.
They weren't exactly the brightest guys, and neither were their
comments. Every day they said pretty much the same thing.
And it always ended in a pissing contest over who had the
worst wife.
Today though something was different. There was a wise
looking elderly Indian Chief sitting at the bar. They decided
to ask him to decide, who had the worst wife.
The first man (Sam) complained that his wife was always
arguing with him. No matter what he said, she always said
the opposite. She didn't just say it either, she said it so
loud that the neighbors complained.
The old Chief listened attentively and then said, "If your wife
was Indian, we would name her Fire-Water."
Sam asked "Why would you call her Fire-Water?"
The Indian Chief replied, "Every time she opens her mouth
she breathes fire and your knees turn to water."
The second man (Bubba) said "My wife is so bad that we
haven't hadn't had physical relations in darn near twenty years."
The chief again listened attentively and pronounced Bubba's
wife as "Sleeping-Dragon.
When Bubba asked why, the chief replied, "If you try to touch
her while she is sleeping, she will become a dragon and bite
your head off."
Sam and Bubba had a good laugh over their wives new names.
Then Sam asked, "Okay, them Indian names are pretty cool,
but.... Who has the worst wife?"
The chief replied, "I do."
Bubba asked what the chiefs wife name was.
The chief replied something along the lines of
"Whumpo Havo Noja"
Both Sam and Bubba looked very confused, and so the chief
explained, "That's my wife's Indian name, it translates in
English to "Three-Old-Horses.
More puzzled than ever before Bubba asked, "Yeah, but
what does it (Three-Old-Horses) mean?
The chief sighed, took a sip of his beer and said ,
"Nag, Nag, Nag."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little
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A frantic mother called her pediatrician at two in the morning.
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The young girl said to the rather hip new priest, "Father, is it a
sin to
have sex before receiving Communion?" The priest replied, "Only if
you block the aisle."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Viagra Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man dies "in the act" after taking Viagra and rigor mortis has set
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The funeral director can't get the coffin lid nailed on and has to
discuss the alternatives with the man's beautiful young widow. "I'm
afraid that the only way to get the lid on is either to pay another
$3,000 for an extra large coffin or to amputate his member."
"Well I have no more money," states the widow, "and it is against my
religion for me to bury my husband in more than one piece."
The funeral director thinks about this and then comes up with a
brain-wave: He'll amputate the member and then stick it up the
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On the day of the funeral, the deceased is displayed in an open
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face, looking for all the world like a teardrop.
The next mourner to file by is the widow. She looks down at her
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"See, I told you it hurts!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Virgin Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jill, being the "only buy-on-sale shopper,"
beckoned to a salesman in Bergdorf Goodman's,
pointed to white wool designer dress on a
mannequin, and said, "Hey Sonny boy, so how much
is the dress on that store dummy over there?"
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"Oh! For $99.95, I could get the same dress at S. Klein's downtown!"
"But Madam," said the salesman, "You'll find that
the dress at Klein's is recycled wool. This
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And Jill replied, "So! For $800, I should be
caring what the lambs do at night?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Hunting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The big-game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone
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by
feeling it, and he could tell what caliber rifle was used to shoot
it by
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customers,
and soon an intense argument started. The hunter said that he was
willing to
prove it if they would put up the drinks and the bet was on. They
blindfolded him and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling
it for
a few moments, he announced, "Springbok." Then he felt for the
bullet hole
and declared, "And it was shot with a .22 rifle."
He was right! The others could not believe it and the argument was
even
hotter than before. When someone suggested that he must have peeped,
he said
that he was prepared to do it again for another round. Therefore,
they
blindfolded him again, very thoroughly this time, and they brought a
skin
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longer
this time and then said, "Kalahari Lion." Fingering the bullet hole,
he
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had to
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he staggered home, bombed out of his mind and went to sleep. The
next
morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a
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he said to his wife, "Listen, I know I was drunk last night, but not
too
drunk to know that I didn't get into a fight. So where did I get
this black
eye?"
His wife replied angrily, "From me!"
"What did I do?" he asked.
She replied, "You got into bed and put your hand inside my panties.
Then you
fiddled around a bit and announced, 'Skunk, killed with an axe!'"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Sunday'
http://silverandgol
Carolyn w/ I'll Never Know ~Elvis Presley
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EVENTIDE
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Dreams
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Ten Life Tips
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Surfin Surfari
iGoogle - Comics Themes Via Wesley
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WASP - Women Airforce Service Pilots Via Wesley
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What's In Bloom
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Amazing Bus Stops
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
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Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Old Version Downloads
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Website Midis
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Free Printables Via Wesley
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Animal World
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Movie Links
Making Up
http://www.buffalos
Mama's Boobs
http://www.buffalos
Milk
http://www.buffalos
Money
http://www.buffalos
What Came Over Me (Buffalo Made Me Do This)
http://www.buffalos
Why College Takes 5 Years
http://www.buffalos
Wild
http://www.buffalos
Dirty Sneakers
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Dodge Viper VS Tzero Electric Car
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Dog in Trance
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spring Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spring Break....
....when students work on their tans and teachers work
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....when students go wild someplace other than school.
....when the only thing kids study is each other.
....when teenagers give their swimsuits a dry run.
....when students take time off from football games,
basketball games, dances, parties, and hanging out
in bars, and go to Florida or Mexico and "relax."
....when the nation's college kids demonstrate to the
world how much they've learned.
....when the nation's breweries go all out to teach
another generation how to throw up responsibly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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campus
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can of shut the fuck up
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a weirdo named Cox
Who loved to sniff everyone's socks.
Said he: "Sure, it's stinky,
But don't call me kinky
I'll send you back home in a box!"
____________
Last Monday, a skipper named Keef
Ran his cruiser aground on a reef.
Tomorrow, he'll be
A lieutenant (jg),
And his Naval career will be brief!
____________
If the stuff in your stomach's askew,
And you think that you're going to spew,
Buck up and fight it,
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Yer Hillbily friend in TN..
Ross
PROUD father of an American Soldier
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young farmer was selling his peaches door to door.
He knocked at a door, and a shapely 30-something gorgeous lady
dressed in a very sheer negligee, answered the door.
He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, 'Would you
like to buy some peaches ?'
The shapely lady looked at him very sexily and very interested also
in his peaches.
She then pulled the top of her negligee to one side so that one of
her large breasts showed, and asked, ....'Are they as firm as this?'
He nodded his head and said, 'Yes ma'am,'' and a little tear came to
his eyes.
Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, 'Are they
nice as these two?'
The young farmer said, Yes,' and another tear came to his other eye.
Then she unbuttoned the bottom of her negligee and asked, 'Are they
as fuzzy as this?'
He again said, 'Yes,' and broke down crying.
She asked, 'Why on earth are you crying?'
Drying his eyes he replied, ''The drought got my corn, the flood got
my soy beans, a tornado leveled my barn, and now... Now...It looks
like I'm gonna get screwed out of my peaches."
Joe
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8-year-old
girl's house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he
can't resist taunting the girl. He holds up the football and says,
"See this football? Football is a boys' game, and only boys can have
a football!" The little girl runs into the house and cries to her
Mom, "I want a football!" Being a woman of the 90's, her Mom runs
out and gets her one. The next day the girl is waiting for the
little boy as he rides up on his bike, she holds up the football and
sings... "Nah Na Nah Nah". The little boy angrily points to his bike
and says, "Oh yeah, well this is a boy's bike and only boys get
boys' bikes and you can't have one!" She runs to her Mom and the
next day she waits for him on her new boy's bike. The little boy
gets furious and pulls down his pants, and pointing to his most
private of parts says, "Look, only boys have these and your mom
can't buy you one!" The next day he walks by and says to her, "Well,
I guess I showed you!" to which she promptly pulls up her dress,
points to her parts and proclaims "My Mom tells me that as long as I
have one of these I can have as many of THOSE as I want!"
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1249
The Discovery
BJ is sleeping really good when Sandi shakes him.
Sandi: Daddy, we have a crisis.
BJ: What is the matter, fire?
Sandi: No, it is Katie.
BJ: Oh no, is she ill again?
Sandi: No, come along and I will show you.
BJ gets up and gets dressed and goes upstairs and finds Katie in a
wheelchair. She has a shawl wrapped around her.
BJ: What is the matter Katherine?
Katie looks up with droopy eyes: Old, I am old father dear. Just
put me
out of my misery.
BJ to Sandi: Did I miss something?
Sandi: She found a white hair on her body where there was none
before.
Rudy: Yeah, and she has been driving us bananas since.
BJ: Okay, I understand.
BJ: Katie, look at Rudy. What color is he?
Katie: White.
BJ: What color is Sandi?
Katie: Blonde and White.
BJ: Where is this white hair that you have?
Katie: On my back.
BJ: Let me see it....Oh there it comes off. It is probably one of
Rudys or Sandis. It is springtime and everyone of you guys is
shedding
hair. There is hair everywhere in the house. When you lay down, you
will pick up some hair.
Katie: Really!
BJ: Honest. Besides, the day will come when you get white hair, but
it is how you feel not the color of your hair, comprende?
Katie: Makes sense father. Gee I had better write that down.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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