Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
To begin with, since Buffy's laptop is down again she has
taken over my desk in the bedroom and has Eva's computer
set up running a role-playing game and my laptop set up
hosting another game somewhere else. She is also on Skype
and wears headphones and yells at the other players making it
difficult to nap or even listen to the TV.
Last weekend I was working on email after just finishing supper.
Sandy had put together a casserole of rice with peppers, topped
with baked beans, and with a layer of barbecued chicken wings
covered with barbecue sauce. It was delicious and I was settled in
to watch TV when Eva comes up and wanted my computer since
her mom was on hers which is ok, she has done less damage to
computers than her mom has. Then Eva decided she wanted to
watch Nick Jr. and rather than argue about it for an hour I changed
the channel and went to my room, laid down, and turned up the volume
so I could here the father and son loggers argue with each other
in a river full of alligators.
After awhile the beans and rice are digesting and the pressure
in my stomach is building up and in comes Eva with Bear Bear
and she is bored and she get on the bed and starts jumping
and on about the third jump I farted really loud and not smelling
very good. The smile immediately dropped from Eva's face and
she started yelling, " Poopie, Poopie." Buffy with her headphones
of course hadn't heard the explosion but she did hear Eva yelling
and she said to Eva, " What's the matter? Are you poopie?" Eva
replied, " No. Grandpa's poopie, he stinks." and she runs off with
Bear Bear in her arms, at least she has the no man left behind
principle down, heh heh. About that time the cloud hit Buffy and
she said, " Gross" and left.
I would hate for this to be the sole thing I am remembered for at
my funeral but I did get to watch the rest of my show in peace.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day, Little Johnny's teacher, Miss Figpot asked the class if
they could name some things you can suck!"
"Ice cream, ma'am!" Little Mary answered.
"Good, Jane." Miss Figpot said, "Anyone else?".
"How about a lollipop!" said Steven.
"Very good, now it's your turn Johnny!", the teacher said. Little
Johnny, sitting at back then answered, "A lamp!".
The teacher and all of the students wondered about his answer. The
teacher asked him, "Johnny, why do you think one can suck a lamp?"
Last night when I passed my parents room", Little Johnny answered, I
heard my mom say, turn off the lamp, honey and let me suck it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Hinckley Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
You might recall that John Hinckley was the seriously deranged young
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To: John Hinckley
From: John McCain
My wife and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how
pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your
recovery. In our fine country's spirit of understanding and
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President Reagan.
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Best Wishes,
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PS: While you have been incarcerated, Barack Obama has been banging
Jodie Foster like a screen door in a tornado. Just thought you
should know.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q and A Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you hear condoms are now being sold with a free calling card?
The attached instructions say, "If you can't come, call."
What's the best way to get into a sleeping bag?
Wake her up first!
Did you hear about the house that was built by lesbians?
There were no studs it was all tongue in groove.
What's the definition of "Tender Love?"
Two gays with hemorrhoids.
Why is death a lot like sex?
It feels funny for a second, but then it's over.
Why do women like wearing black panties?
~ It's a way for them to say, "In memory of those
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What is a Peter Pan?
A wash basin in a whorehouse.
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You don't have to ask - you can see who the best man is.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Irish Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his
priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman."
The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?"
The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but
then I stopped."
The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in.
You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail
Mary's and put $50 in the poor box ."
The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then
walked over to the poor box.
He paused for a moment and then started to leave.
The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw
that, You didn't put any money in the poor box!"
The Irishman replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and
according to you, that's the same as putting it in!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cookie Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the beginning there was the Void, and you couldn't find a decent
bloody beer, or for that matter, anything else decent anywhere. Then
God spake, saying unto the Cosmos "I want a decent bloody biscuit!"
And chocolate chip bickies appeared.
God tasted them and they were chewy and fatty and rich - and God saw
that they were good.
Then God looked forth for someone to tell how good the bloody beaut
bickies were, but there was Void, and fuck-all else, so God created
a
place, and called it "Here."
And then, probably because he was bored shitless, God caused to
appear a man, right here, and called him "You." Then God spake, "Hey
You, try one of these bloody beaut bickies, they're great!"
"You" partook of the bloody beaut bickies, and raved as to the
goodness thereof. Then "You" looked for someone else to tell about
the wondrous bloody beaut bickies of chocolate chip, but there was
no
one but him and God, and God already knew of them.
So "You" spake unto God, beseeching, "Who can I tell about these
bloody beaut bickies?"
With this in mind, God created woman, and called her "Wowza," for
her
form was exceedingly fair to look upon. "You" then spake unto her
and said, "Wowza, you bloody well have to try one of these bloody
beaut bickies!"
"Wowza" partook of the bloody beaut bickies, and said "Yeah well,
they're OK." Then she hid herself from "You" and God, and ate the
entire box of bloody beaut bickies As a result God waxed wrathful
and
spake, "You! Where are my bloody beaut bickies?"
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whole box!"
For this God sent forth a curse of biblical proportion
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look upon her and go "Fuck me! What a fat bitch"
Then Satan, He of rice cakes and Iceberg lettuce set, did appear and
sent to "Wowza" a divorce lawyer to comfort her in her grief.
And thus did "Here" become a place of bedevilment and God
quoth, "Next time, I'll send out for pizza, and I'll be buggered if
I
am telling anyone, including "You"
Thus, it is written ...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva w/Heartprints
http://silverandgol
Marlene/Power In The Blood/New Page
http://summerhoosie
From Kathryn/Gotta Smile
http://adreamandasm
John w/ Pennies From Heaven
http://heavens-
Kids Being Kids
http://www.shangral
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Surfin Surfari
Kids Math
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GLORIOUSLY COOL TRUCK SPILLS
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All About Alcatraz
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Timezone Check
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
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As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
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morning.....
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Reduce the size of Vista's WinSxS Folder Via Martha
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St.Patricks'
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Wiki Press
http://pediapress.
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
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man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Links
Jamacos
http://www.buffalos
Just Walk It ff Sissy
http://www.buffalos
The Vasectomy Song
http://www.buffalos
Kangaroo Court
http://www.buffalos
Kilted Scotsman
http://www.buffalos
Robbery
http://www.buffalos
Roll Over Donner Pass
http://www.buffalos
Russian Bar Trio
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Snow Plow
http://www.buffalos
The 1
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parrot Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This guy wanted a parrot who talked. He asked the pet store manager
if there was a bird who was already speaking. The manager directed
the guy to a bird by the window. "This bird has a vocabulary of 1000
words and another 50 phrases that would fit most occasions."
The guy bought the bird and took it home.
Next day, the guy was back in the pet store to complain. The bird
hadn't said a word.
The pet store manager said, "That's not unusual. Why not buy a few
of the toys the bird had been used to playing with while here and
put
it in his cage. That should get him more comfortable with his
surroundings and loosen him up." The man paid for the toys and took
them home to the bird.
Two days later the guy showed back up. "Still not talking, huh?"
asked the manager. "Well, perhaps a birdbath would do the trick."
The credit card was whipped out, the purchase made, and the guy was
back home with his new birdbath.
And, like clockwork, two days later the guy was back to complain
that
the bird STILL hadn't said one word. This time the shop owner
scratched his head and said, "You know, sometimes the bird would be
praised in his training and allowed to ring this bell." The guy was
hesitant, but he really wanted to hear the bird talk, so he
reluctantly purchased the bell.
Two days later, the guy was back in the shop. This time the pet shop
owner suggested the bird was lonely. The guy was upset that he'd
have to purchase ANOTHER bird when the first one wasn't talking. The
pet shop owner told him that, no, he wouldn't have to do that. Just
buy a mirror and trick the bird into thinking he had company.
You guessed. Two days later, the man was back in the store, this
time with the parrot. The parrot was dead.
"What happened! Didn't the bird ever talk?" asked the pet store
owner.
"Yep. Right before he died it said, 'Don't they sell any fucking
birdseed at that pet store?'"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
call ahead
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a girl from the chorus
Whose virtue was said to be porous
She started by candling
And ended by handling
The whole clientele of a whorehouse.
A hard-working waitress named Cora
Discovered that drummers adore a
Titty that's ripe
And a c*nt that is tripe --
Now she doesn't work hard any more-a.
A lady named Belle da C*nt Corrigan
Was the mistress of J. Pierpont Morigan,
Till she handed the banker
A hell of a chancre
And now she is just a plain whore again!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three friends are sitting around their favorite pub.
The first guy says "Hey guys, I know this other bar
where you go in and every third drink that you
order, you get the next one free. On top of that,
about 1/4 of the time I go in there, I get 'lucky' "
The second guy says, "That's nothing! I know this
bar where you get every other drink on the house,
and I get lucky there about 1/2 the times that I go
in."
The third guy, unimpressed, says, "Hell, I've got you
both beat. I know of a place where you get every
drink on the house and you get 'lucky' EVERY time
you go in."
The other two say, "WOW! Where is it?"
The third guy responds with a sigh, "I don't know,
my wife won't tell me."
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lonely, and horny housewife with her husband out of town on a
business trip, goes to a single bar, strikes a conversation with a
guy who tells her he's a building contractor and, long story short,
she takes the guy to her house. They immediately tore each other's
clothes off and started going at it.
Suddenly, she sat up in bed as she heard the key in the lock.
"Quick!"
she said to the man, "It's my husband! You've got to get out of
here!
Quick!"
"Where's the back door?", the man asked as he grabbed his clothes.
"There isn't one", she replied.
"Where would you like one?" asked the man.
Heather
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1540
Trans-fur-mation
Katie: Sandi, look at Rudy run. I have not seem him run like that
in a long
time. What is the deal?
Sandi: I think Daddy giving him his meds everyday, along with the
warmer
days have helped.
Rudy comes jogging over...: Come on guys, let's head to the lake for
a
swim.
Katie: I am kind of tired Rudy.
Sandi: I will go.
Rudy: I feel great, let's go Katie. Come on I will race you.
Katie: Okay, you know I will win.
Zoom!!
At the lake..
Splash!
Rudy: There is nothing like swimming in the water Katie.
Katie: Okay I have had fun, let me out. Remember I do not have the
fur
you have. I am freezing.
Sandi: Feels great to me Rudy.
Rudy: Watch this, I am working on my backstroke..
blub...
Sandi: We doggies can't do that Rudy...
Rudy: Spit toey! You are right Sandi, I guess the dog paddle is
all we can
do. Race you back to the house Sandi.
Back at the house Katie has a large beach towel wrapped around her
and
she is shivering...
Sandi and Rudy are feeling quite nice and lay on the grass to sun.
Katie: How can you guys just lay out there? I am freezing.
Rudy: You are a retriever Katie, you should be able to handle this.
Katie: I am going inside to my doghouse and hit my sauna then watch
my 60" plasma tv..later I will retrieve some leftover pizza from the
fridge.
Rudy/Sandi: We will join you.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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