THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
If you haven't got a smile on your face
And laughter in your heart,
Then you are just a sour old fart!
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
The war deparment made it home from the hospital
yesterday afternoon, finally. She definitely was
ready to come home, I will say that. That was a
odd moment. Here I am, supposed to take my wife home
and get her into the car, and I can barely manage
it myself. Fortunately, I recruited daughter to help.
So between daughter and patient transport, they
managed to get us both down to the Crown Victoria
and loaded up and carted back to the paradise we
call home. its a good feeling. In all the hubbub
and such I had not had opportunity to tell you about
the latest improvement. Finally, after over 20 years,
I "retired" the old swivel rocker chair I had been
using in the "man cave" (otherwise known as the den).
That old chair was in such sad shape you could not
sit in it without balancing it against the wall for
fear of it toppling over. And no matter how many pillows
and irregardless of how u sat down, you always had
at least one spring from the seat poking u in the butt.
I had gone over to Art Van furniture and picked me out
a nice leather recliner. Just perfect for the "lazy boy"
in this house. Since I had spent most of this weekend
over at the hospital, me and Turk the dog have great
plans to test it out this afternoon:)
We hope your own day goes as well!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
________________
THE COMICS
the pharmacy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p070.html
I told you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p071.html
freeze
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p072.html
I wonder
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p073.html
welcome back
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p074.html
a transfer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p075.html
the bobsled
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p076.html
stressed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p077.html
________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
we the people
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9239.html
PEARL youre all I need
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9238.html
will you help me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9240.html
cat and mouse games
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9241.html
A first grade girl handed in the drawing below for
a homework assignment. After it was graded and the
child brought it home, she returned to
school the next day with the following note:
Dear Ms. Arnold ,
I want to be very clear on my child's illustration.
It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip
joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my
daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm.
This picture is of me selling a shovel.
Mrs. Harrington
____________
A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low
stonewall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch.
For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the
girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts,
Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time
for a wee kiss." The girl blushed, then leaned over and
kissed him. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again
to gaze out over the loch.After a while the girl spoke again.
"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was
thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time for a wee cuddle."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him. Then he
blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out
over the loch.After a while the girl spoke again. "Another
penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin'
perhaps it's aboot time you let me poot ma hand on your leg."
The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her leg.
Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze
out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again.
"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." The young man knit
his brow. "Well, now," he said, "my thoughts are a bit more
serious this time." "Really?" said the girl in a whisper,
filled with anticipation. "Aye," said the lad.
The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her
lip in anticipation of the ultimate request.
Angus blurted out: "Din'na ye think it's aboot time ye paid
me the first three pennies?"
_____________
A Virginia State trooper pulled a car over on I-64 about
2 miles south of the Virginia/West Virginia State line.
When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding,
the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on
his way to Beckley WV to do a show at the Shrine Circus.
He didn't want to be late. The trooper told the driver he
was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do
a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket.
He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't
have anything to juggle.
The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if
he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the
trooper got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him.
While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the patrol
car. Lee, a drunken good old boy from West Virginia got out,
watched the performance, then went over to the patrol car,
opened the rear door and got in.
The trooper observed him and went over to the patrol car,
opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing.
The drunk replied, 'You might as well take my ass to jail,
cause there ain't no way I can pass that test.'
_______________
A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering
from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills,
but they didn't help.
On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't
do any good either.On his third visit the doctor told the man to
go home and take a hot bath. As soon as he was finished bathing
he was to throw open all the windows and stand in the draft.
"But Doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia."
"I know," said the physician, "I can cure pneumonia!"
____________
A man suffered a serious heart attack and had open heart bypass
surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the
care of nuns at a Catholic hospital.
As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding
how he was going to pay for services. He was asked if he had health insurance.
He replied, in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked if he had money in the bank.
He replied, "No money in the bank."
The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you?"
He said, "I only have a spinster sister, who is a nun."
The nun got a little perturbed and announced loudly. "Nuns are
not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."
The patient replies, "Send the bill to my brother-in-law."
______________
A married couple was having dinner and the conversation got around to
transplants and artificial body parts.
"They 'll make an artificial dick next," the wife said.
"Bull!" replied the husband, "There are some things you can't make -
besides, what would you make it from?"
"Iron," she told him.
"Don't be stupid, woman. It'd rust."
"Ok, brass then," she insisted.
"That's bloody ridiculous," scoffed the husband. "Men would never be
able to keep it clean."
"Rubbish!" she told him. "I've watched you polish yours while watching
porno videos for years!"
________________
FUN PAGES
Jojo's Fashion Show: World Tour
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41740&s=n
The End Of The Internet
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Bubble Bobble Game
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Balloon Eater
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______________
BUFFALO BILL
Gym
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dss.htm
Handling Road Rage
http://www.buffaloschips.com/nbjkk.htm
Home & Garden TV
http://www.buffaloschips.com/allka.htm
_____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
How To Train A Swimmer
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000765.html
How To Undress Fast
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000766.html
How To Win The World Cup
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000767.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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