Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
It's 44 degrees outside and the sun is shining, a lot warmer than
yesterday but we didn't get any snow unlike our friends to the
south.
I need to go do some shopping or at least provide some supervision
but that is easier said than done. All of my good eating has given
me
another bout with the gout. Mine seems to like to attack the joints
in the foot itself instead of the toes or ankle but it is right at
the widest
point of my foot which means my boot pushes against it. You can
usually find a halfway comfortable position laying down or sitting
at the
desk but driving is uncomfortable and walking is downright painful.
Talking about intelligent design, the Creator could have left out ,
" I'll
give them really painful crystals in their joints if they eat too
many of
my tasty animals." We could have really done with out that. Just
a simple warning printed on the back of pigs and turkey and fish and
organ meats would have been sufficient. I have been really craving
a big liverwurst sandwich too lately. I have doubled up on my gout
medicine
and I am making some diet changes already instead of waiting till
I get to the point where I can't walk for 6 weeks like last time
without
crutches. I can't even feel sorry for myself because it is self
inflicted.
Anyhow enjoy your chips ... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Crazy Critters - Stuffing-Free, Flat Plush Toy Your Dog will LOVE!
Crazy Critters are strong, durable and realistic looking. Dogs love
them and will make it their favorite toy guaranteed. They are
stuffing-free so they lie flat, making them easy for practically any
dog to play with.They are machine-washable so you can use them
indoors or out, over and over again! As Seen On TV!
Learn More
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Woman Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
SERVER woman:
She's always busy when you need her.
WINDOWS woman:
Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but none can live
without her.
POWERPOINT woman:
Only Bill Gates has the will to use her more than half an hour.
EXCEL woman:
They say she can do a lot of things, but you mostly use her for your
four basic needs.
WORD woman:
She always has a surprise reserved for you, but no one in the world
is able to fully understand her.
DOS woman:
Everyone has had her at least once, but no one wants her anymore.
BACKUP woman:
You have always believed that she has everything you need, but when
"X-hour" comes, you find out that she has missed something.
VIRUS woman:
Also known as "wife"; when you are not expecting her to, she comes,
installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to
uninstall her
you will lose something, but if you don't try to uninstall her you
will
lose everything.
SCANDISK woman:
You know that she is good and that she only wants to help you, but
you never know what she is really doing that for.
SCREENSAVER woman:
She is not worth anything, but at least she's fun!
RAM woman:
She forgets everything you say when you disconnect her.
HARD-DISK woman:
She remembers everything..
MULTIMEDIA woman:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.
MICROSOFT woman:
She wants to have domination over all the men she meets, and she
tries to convince them that this is the best thing for them. She
will
do the best she can to make you fight against other women, and
she promises you that you will have everything you want if you will
give her your address book. Before you figure it out, she will be
the
only one in your life ... it will even come to the day when you will
need her permission to open your refrigerator or start your car.
PASSWORD woman:
You think you're the only one who knows her, but in reality all the
world does....
MP3 woman:
Everybody wants to take her...
USER woman:
She screws up everything she does, and she always asks for more
than she needs.
CPU woman:
From outside, she looks like she has everything, but on the inside
she is empty...
MONITOR woman:
She makes life look better and brighter.
CD-ROM woman:
She's always going faster and faster.
DATAWAREHOUSING woman:
She keeps you informed of everything, except what you really want to
know.
E-MAIL woman:
Out of every ten things she says, eight are bullshit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
riderless
http://www.thepostm
a wish
http://www.thepostm
find a guy
http://www.thepostm
Insanity On Wheels
http://sydesjokes.
Inspect The Cart
http://sydesjokes.
Insurance
http://sydesjokes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you hear that Tony Orlando and Dawn are getting back together?
Yes, because U. S. Senator Larry Craig (R) of Idaho has asked them
to
change their smash hit from: "Knock three times on the ceiling if
you
want me, twice on the pipe if your answer is no." To "Tap four times
in the washroom for some sodomy, twice on my pipe if you're just
gonna blow."
The pretty coed nervously asked the doctor to perform an unusual
operation: the removal of a large chunk of green wax from her navel.
Looking up from the ticklish task, the physician asked, "How did
this
happen?" "Let me put it this way, doc," the girl began. "My
boyfriend
likes to eat by candlelight.
A guy cuddled up to his wife and softly whispered into her ear:
"Could we make love, please dear?" She rolled over away from him.
"Not tonight, darling, I've got a splitting headache," she replied
rather tersely. Too horny to read the obvious signals the husband
pleaded. "Please, honey. I'll only stick it in for a minute" "What
do
you think I am," his wife retorted, "a fuckin microwave?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Walk in the Footsteps of Christ!
With the DVD series Jesus & His Times
-Makes a Great Gift for the Holidays!
-Relieve the Greatest Stories of Jesus' life told through
Reenactments on Location in the Holy Land
-Maps & Graphics bring the Geography of Christ's time to Modern
Relevance
-Enjoy the Sights, Sounds, and Wonders of the Holy Land from Home
-Entertainment for the Whole Family!
Just $12.95 FREE Shipping
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Porno Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Top 15 Porno Movies
Copyright by Chris White
15> I Know You Done Your Sister Last Summer
14> Turn Her and Hooch
13> Urban Cow, Boy!
12> Debbie Does Dullards
11> I Am Curious, Ol' Yeller
10> 9 1/2 Teeth
9> The Silence of the Sheep (God Willing)
8> Nasty NASCAR Nimphama--, uh, Nymfama--, uh, Crazy Nekkid Gals!
7> Deep Goat
6> Crouchin' Brother, His'n Sister
5> Auntie Get Your Gums
4> The Girl Who Could Not Run Faster Than Her Brothers
3> Behind the Green Teeth
2> Bob and Carol and Bessie and Babe
and http://Topfive.
1> Three Men and a Beatty
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heel-TasticT is an intensive heel therapy that penetrates deep to
the source to soothe & relieve dry skin. As part of this exclusive
online only offer, you will get a bonus PedEggR FREE with your
purchase, just pay seperate s/h.
. Softer, smoother feet & heels
. Fast-acting, fragrant formula
. Absorbs deep below skin's surface
. Easy-to-use
Get the Heel-Tastic for only $10.00 plus $6.99 s/h and get the
PedEgg FREE- just pay seperate s/h.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little girl accidentally walks in on her father while he's getting
dressed. She points to his dick and says, "Daddy, what's that?" Not
wanting to explain to her yet, he says, "Uh, I can't tell you, it's
a
secret." The little girl finds her mother and asks, "What is that
long thing between Daddy's legs?" Her mother also doesn't want to
explain sex yet, so she says, "I don't know, he won't tell me." A
couple days later the little girl says to her mother. "Mommy, I
finally figured out what that thing between Daddy's legs is. It's a
toothbrush!" "Why do you think that?" the amused mother asks.
"Because," the little girl says, "this morning I saw the maid
sliding
it in and out of her mouth and she had toothpaste dripping down her
chin."
The 15-year-old daughter brought home a young Naval Aviator to meet
her parents. During dinner, the pilot happened to mention that he
was
from Glen Burnie. The Mother said, "What a coincidence. My husband
and I lived there 17 years ago when we were first married." The
pilot
got a strange look on his face and changed the topic of
conversation.
The daughter fell strangely silent. After he left, the teen said,
"Thanks a lot, Mom. I told him I was 18. Now I'll have to tell him
that I was illegitimate.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mini Sewing Machine
Mini Sew-Wonder is the new cordless sewing machine. It's as powerful
as a full size machine, but lightweight, battery/AC adapter powered
and can be used right out of the box. Forget the hassle of ordinary
sewing machines that can be bulky and heavy.
Get the job done with Mini Sew-Wonder.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bike Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Liana was a beautiful girl. As she was walking through the woods on
a hot summers day, the heat became too much for her and she decided
to go for a swim. She took off all her clothes, piled them neatly
on the side of the riverbank and dove in.
A couple of young boys came along and decided to steal her clothes.
Having gotten out of the water and discovered her clothes had been
stolen, Liana decided to go to the roadside and hitch a ride home.
Along came Steve, riding a bicycle. He stopped for Liana.
"Come," he said, "I'll ride you into town."
She jumped on his bicycle and rode side-saddle in front of him.
Steve said nothing, but after ten minutes Liana was so overwhelmed
at how calm he was that she said, "Tell me, haven't you noticed that
I'm completely naked?"
"Sure," said Steve. "Haven't you noticed that you're riding on a
girls bike?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mister Steamy - Steam Laundry Ball
Get soft, de-wrinkled clothes without an iron or dryer sheets.
Mister Steamy is the revolutionary new dryer ball with the power of
steam. Just add water, toss it in the dryer and as the dryer heats
up the ball steams up.
Turn your dryer into a wrinkle releasing machine.
Order today and we'll double your offer.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Davie Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She
started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid,
stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Davie stood up. The teacher said, "Do
you think you're stupid, Little Davie?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
************
Little Davie watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream
on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked.
"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing
the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter?" asked Little Davie. "Giving up?"
************
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his
students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of
the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure
they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago,
that He grew up, etc. So he asked his cl ass, "Where is Jesus
today?"
Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven."
Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart."
Little Davie, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I
know! He's in our bathroom!"
The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds.
Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Davie how he knew
this Little Davie said, "Well.. every morning, my father gets up,
bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, "Jesus Christ, are you still
in there?!"
************
The math teacher saw that little Davie wasn't paying attention in
class. She called on him and said, "Davie! What are 2 and 4 and 28
and 44?"
Little Davie quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon
Network!"
************
Little Davie's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local
police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of
the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a
picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to
capture him."
Little Davie asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his
picture?"
************
Little Davie attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as
his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down
the horse's legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Davie asked,
"Dad, why are you doing that?"
His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make
sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."
Davie, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy
Mom."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Get Your Blood Glucose Meter at no cost
Answer a few questions to see if you qualify for the glucose meter
and other great offers.
Qualify Now - Copy and paste the link below into your browser's
address bar:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A Symbol
http://www.silveran
God's Perfect Creation by Virginia Ellis
http://www.wtv-
ml
Rick w/ Dear Friend, Jesus Christ
http://www.wtv-
Carol w/ Stay One More Stay
http://www.carolspo
Never Give Up
http://www.Shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
British Steam Car Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.
6-foot-8 Freshman center - Brittney Griner Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.
Make My Baby
http://www.make-
Right Angle Photography
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Data Back-up
http://www.karenwar
Avira Free AV Via Wesley
http://www.free-
Anonymous Search Engine Via Wesley
http://www.yauba.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://handicappedp
Bear Playground
http://www.shangral
Bear Cub Via Bob
http://www.flixxy.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.
You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Here is some more information about this new way to watch
television:
1) All of the programming is uncensored!
2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch!
And new channels are added every day!
3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
And new stations are added daily!
4) All of these channels are available 24 hours per day right from
your PC and laptop!
5) No additional hardware is needed!
6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!
Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Swan
http://www.buffalos
Texas Shoot Out
http://www.buffalos
Things Men Will Do For A Cold Beer
http://www.buffalos
What It Feels Like Owning Stock In 2008
http://www.buffalos
Workout Bra
http://www.buffalos
Parent VS Kids
http://www.buffalos
Parking 1
http://www.buffalos
Parking 2
http://www.buffalos
Parking3
http://www.buffalos
Peeling
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Murphy Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Murphy's Laws On Sex
1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you,
the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
2. Nothing improves with age.
3. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's
offered take it,because it'll never be quite the same again.
4. Sex has no calories.
5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes
the most amount of trouble.
6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
7. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what
people think you've got.
8. No sex with anyone in the same office.
9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches
you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and
minds will follow.
12. Virginity can be cured.
13. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she
usually stops listening to him.
14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a
man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
16. Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
17. It is always the wrong time of month.
18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had
it, chances are you won't either.
21. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on
Sunday pray for crop failure.
22. The younger the better.
23. The game of love is never called off on account
of darkness.
24. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair
on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
25. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
27. Before you find your handsome prince, you've
got to kiss a lot of frogs.
28. There may be some things better than sex, and
some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
29. Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
30. Love is a hole in the heart.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hanging StrawberryT is the Amazing All-Season Indoor and Outdoor
Hanging Strawberry Garden. Pot in soil or any other potting medium
and you'll have sweet, delicious strawberries in just 60 days. Now
you can enjoy strawberries all year long. It also makes a great
decorative hanging basket.
The package includes:
. 8 1/2 inch Hanging Basket
. 3 Tri-Star Strawberry Plants
. Our Easy Care Instructions
. Secret Jam Recipe
Buy 1 Get 1 Free Now for only $10 PLUS bonus gifts!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
ceremony
http://www.buffalos
champagne
http://www.buffalos
charm toon
http://www.buffalos
charmin
http://www.buffalos
cheap
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clean-n-Green Laundry Ball
Imagine never buying laundry detergent again. Replace detergent with
Laundry Ball and you'll not only save money, but you'll be saving
the planet too. Each ball lasts up to 1000 to 1200 uses, sometimes
longer. Laundry Ball uses natural cleaning power oppose to
chemical-laden, water-polluting ingredients like laundry detergent.
Get the benefits of Laundry Ball today.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a woman named Nancy,
Who waltzed with a man they called Clancey.
Soon after the dance,
He pulled down her silk pants,
Proceeding to tickle her fancy.
A horny young woman named Kate,
Had hoped for a really hot date.
But despite lots of kissing,
His erection was missing;
So next time she'll just masturbate.
His dick is most surely a dilly,
A grand and marvelous Willie.
His gal loves to give head,
But most often instead;
He ends by just screwing her silly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Background Check Them-You have the Right to Know the Truth!
As the news continues to reminds us, it's pretty easy to pretend to
be someone your not in this day and age. For the first time ever,
you can find out real and truthful information about people through
America's #1 Background Check. So next time you just aren't 100%
certain of the truth, protect yourself with an instant Background
Check.
Our Comprehensive Background Reports will show:
-Criminal Records
-Current and Previous Addresses
-Age and Date of Birth
-Relatives
-Property Value
-Social Network Scans
-So Much More
For a 7-Day Free Trial of Unlimited Background Checks
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
MONEY
It can buy a House.......
It can buy a Bed.........
It can buy a Clock.......
It can buy you a Book........
It can buy you a Position....
It can buy you Medicine....
It can buy you Blood.......
It can buy you Sex.........
So you see money isn't everything.
And it often causes pain and! suffering.
I tell you all this because I am your Friend,
and as your Friend I want to take away
your pain and suffering...
So send me all your money.......
And I will suffer for you.
CASH ONLY PLEASE!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amazing New Stretch-To-Fit Food Covers - Free Sample Pack Available
CoverMate stretch-to-fit food covers are the quick and easy way to
save food and keep it fresh.
The built in flex ban stretches over any dish, bowl or plate in
seconds for the perfect seal.
CovermMate food covers are reusable and dishwasher safe.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Christian family, comprising mom, dad and
daughter were sitting around the dinner table
with the reverend of their church as their
honored guest. The mom told her daughter to start
off the prayer so they can start eating dinner
already. The daughter hesitated, "But Mom!" After
her mom gave her an encouraging look, she started
the prayer. She started moaning and groaning, as
if she's having an orgasm. She was also
screaming, "Oooh, God! Ooooh, Jimmy! Oooh, God!
Jimmy! Oh God, oh God!" All of a sudden, her
mother stopped her. "What's gotten into you?"
She seemed embarrassed and surprised. The
daughter then said to her mother, "What? That's
what I hear you pray!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Get Strong, Sculpted Arms and Shoulders
The Shake Weight is the revolutionary new way to shape and tone your
arms, and it is designed specifically for women. Scientific studies
prove that the Shake Weight increases upper body muscle activity by
more than 300% compared to traditional weights.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1549
The Game Cont
With halftime approaching, the family are notified they will be
attempting
shots from halfcourt in order to win 10,000 dollars.
Diana: I can't throw the ball that far.
BJ: Give it your best shot hon.
The dogs are all wearing Thunder jerseys and sweats with packpacks.
Half time happens and the family is escorted to center court.
Diana tries first....misses badly..however, she is cheered for her
effort.
Next is BJ..he hasn't shot a basketball in 10 years, he gamely tries
and
manages to hit the backboard...
Next is Rudy...Each dog has their dexterity thumb on (an invention
by dad)
Rudy eyes and shoots...and misses...
Next is Sandi.....Sandi takes out from her backpack a slide
ruler...she
measures the distance, then the height, does some
calculations.
the ball, eyes and shoots...the ball sails and hits the rim, the
backboard,
the rim again, around, and around but drops off barely...the crowd,
groans.
Next is Katie...Katie starts off by dribbling the ball between her
legs, then
behind her back, then she puts a blindfold on, steps up to center
court and
swish! The crowd erupts!!!!
BJ: How did you do that Katie?
Katie: Pure luck father. I really did not have any chance at all.
I figured
I might as well put a blindfold on for all the good it would do.
Diana: It sure looked impressive. What are you going to do with
the
money?
Thud!
BJ: She forgot about the money!
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1456 - Release Date:
5/20/2008 6:45 AM
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment