Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I was reading an ad today where someone was looking for a tutor to
help teach their children " Chicago Math." Of course the first thing
that came to mind was a story problem like, Governor Blagojevich has
to fill the Senate seat formerly held by Barrack Obama from Chicago
and pocket as much money or political appointments as possible from
the President, or a plethora of corrupt Chicago Politicians ranging
offering between 10,000 and 250,000 dollars. If the Governor
doesn't realize his phone has been bugged how many years in prison
will he get when the FBI moves in? Show all work.
That actually made more sense than the answer I got when I checked
Google.
Consider multiplication and division. The program asks the student
to draw various grids and maintain a catalog of intermediate
results, with all the zeros in place. This is suppose to teach you,
indirectly, that the integers form a ring, and that the traditional
method works because of the distributive property of multiplication
over addition, the commutative property of addition, and so on.
This is supposed to be clear to a sixth grader. When I was in sixth
grade someone decided I absolutely needed to be able to do math in
bases.
Base 10 was no longer good enough and this was the math that was
being used in computers that had key punch cards. By the time I had
got to ninth grade it was all forgotten because we had decided to
use binary in computers or if you do math with 0 and 1 but never get
to two you are all set. Now I don't have to know that 1 + 1 = 10
because the computer does and if the computer is broke I had good
old Base 10 to fall back on, even though I threw away my 35.00 slide
rule in 1972 which was faster.
I hope that we are not teaching a new form of math to our kids that
will force even more out the door before they turn 16. Now comes
the real kicker Chicago Math was not developed by the Math Dept..
at the University of Chicago it was developed by the Educational
Dept.
Probably because the math dept. decided it wasn't worth pursuing.
Speaking of New math, if you have 4 Wildebeests and your sister
Nancy
has 2, how many wildebeests do you both have? The answer is > 2.
See I told you Gnu Math was hard to understand.
( GNU math does exist but it is a math program for Linux)
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Bad Chips
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BAD:
It's "So Bad" out there!!!
Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. So,
the guy that made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the
people who made $750 billion disappear!!!
The economy is so bad:
CEO's are now playing miniature golf and Flying Model Planes!!.
Even people who have nothing to do with the Obama administration
aren't paying their taxes.
Hotwheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
Obama met with small businesses to discuss the Stimulus Package: GE,
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PETA serves chicken wings at their meetings
McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer
People in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their
children's names
A truck of Americans got caught sneaking into Mexico
The most highly-paid job is now jury duty
Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting
People in Africa are donating money to Americans
Mothers in Ethiopia are telling their kids, "finish your plate, do
you
know how many kids are starving in the US ?"
Motel Six wont leave the light on
The Mafia is laying off judges
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Ticket Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
On October 13, 1944, the Durham N. C. Sun Reported that a Durhamite
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parked his car on a restricted street right in front of a sign that
read "No Stoping."
Rather than pleading guilty, the defendant argued that the missing
letter in the sign meant that he had not violated the letter of the
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"Extracting ore from a stope or, loosely, underground.
"Your Honor", said the man, "I am a law-abiding citizen and I didn't
extract any ore from the area of the sign. I move that the case be
dismissed."
Acknowledging that the defendant hadn't done any illegal mining, the
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Friday, the 13th, anything can happen, so I'll turn you loose."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
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A guy goes running into a sex shop to return his blow-up doll. He
says to the owner, "Excuse me, but I blew this doll up last night
and
straight away she went down on me. I want my $50 back."
The owner says, "Hell, if I'd have known she was going to do that,
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Movie Chips
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Jenny, an aspiring young actress, made the rounds of producers'
offices for months before finally landing a part in a police movie.
The first day's shooting called for her to be thrown from a speeding
car and tumble into a stack of garbage cans.
On the second day, she was set on fire and thrown from a third floor
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"Listen," she managed to stammer. "Who do I have to sleep with to
get
out of this movie?"
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Romance Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
** Top Ten Signs That You're Not Romantic **
10. You ask the waiter for a seat near the kitchen so it
minimizes the time it takes for your food to arrive.
9. She doesn't like the "I'm The Property of Jason" t-shirt
you got her for your anniversary.
8. You take your date out for dinner that consists of a
coupon for free nachos and half price on drinks.
7. Her candlelight dinners really irritate you 'cause it's
so hard to read the sport's page while eating.
6. You apologize with a dozen dandelions.
5. After a romantic dinner, you offer to do the dishes by
letting the dog lick the plates.
4. You consider pig latin the "language of love".
3. Some say it with flowers, you say it with sparkplugs.
2. When your boyfriend got down on one knee and proposed,
you said, "Shhh!... talk to me during the commercial."
1. "I thought cubic zirconium looked prettier than real
diamonds."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Crab Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man boarded a plane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and
asked the blonde, female crew member to take care of the box for
him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's
refrigerator.
He pointedly informed her that he was going to hold her personally
responsible for the crabs staying frozen, pointing out over and over
he was an attorney and proceeded to rant at her about what would
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Needless to say, she was greatly annoyed by his continuous behavior.
Shortly before landing in Los Angeles, the blonde crew member used
the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the gentleman
who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand so I
can return them to you?"
Not a single hand went up ... So she took them home and ate them.
Two lessons here:
1. Men never learn.
2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most men think.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Mom's Pot Roast
http://silverandgol
John w/ The Evolution Of Dance
http://heavens-
God will Answer
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Old Barns, Old People, Old Friends
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Earth Hour
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Shotgun rules
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Windows Movie Maker
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Movie Links
3rd World Bomb Squad
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ICTV
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Leno Photo Booth
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Texas Shootout
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The Interview
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The Big Man Where Are You
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Remote
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Rocket Man
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Rubber Man
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She's Got You
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Skeleton Dance
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
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Lost the pub quiz last night by 1 point. The last question was where
do most women have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer is
Africa
Denes in Dubai
"I played for a semi-pro baseball team. At every game, we sold
raffle tickets. Half the money paid the team's expenses, and the
other half went to the winning ticket holder.
One day the drawing was held just as I stepped up to bat. The home
plate umpire pulled the winning ticket, and then he turned to me.
'Could you read me the number? My vision's not too good.'"
Genetically engineered Food
- Your hot dog just fetched its own ketchup and relish.
- You spot the tell-tale signs of a primitive central nervous system
in your Jell-O.
- Chocchini: looks like zucchini, tastes like a Ding Dong.
- The black-eyed peas on your fork just winked at you.
- Every time you pour a glass of orange juice, your garage door goes
up.
Wesley
Wesley
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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
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There once was a man from Calcutta,
who liked to beat off in the gutter,
the heat of the street
melted his meat
and turned his cream into butter.
There was a young man with a prick
Which into his wife he would stick
Every morning and night
If it stood up all right --
Not a very remarkable trick.
<Snagged by>
Ross
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was
severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't
graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife
offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on
her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from
her buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where
the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor
their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's
new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his
friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty!
One day he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion
at her sacrifice. He said, 'Dear, I just want to thank you for
everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?'
'My darling,' she replied, 'I get all the thanks I need every time I
see your mother kiss you on the cheek.'
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was the stir of the town when an 80-year-old man
married a 20-year-old girl. After a year she went into
the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to
congratulate the fellow saying, "This is amazing. How
do you do it at your age?"
He answered, "You've got to keep that old motor running."
The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse
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He again said, "You've got to keep the old motor running."
The same thing happened the next year. The nurse said,
"You must be quite a man."
He responded, "You've got to keep that old motor running."
The nurse then said, "Well, you had better change the oil
in that old motor, this one's black."
Randy
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1552
The Coupon
Rob: Hey Tami, I have this coupon for a new experience.
Tami: What is it?
Rob: We can dine tonight at a new place called Katherine's, the
coupon is for 50 percent off.
Tami: I meet with my Psychologist tonight but I should still get
there before you.
Rob: Greet, here is the address, get us a table for two. I should
be
there by seven. Are you still seeing Katie everywhere?
Tami: It is getting better. To bad the place we are going is
called
Katherines, but I am sure that is just a coincidence.
Rob: Yeah, just rotten luck. Katie is a nice dog. I am certain
you
have misjudged her.
Later that evening Tami drives to the fine eatery and parks her car,
the valet, who looks a lot like Katie, takes her keys and has a hand
out for a tip.
Tami to herself: Just a coincidence I am sure... focus.
Tami walks inside the doors and is meet by the greeter who is
breathing
hard and again looks a lot like Katie:
Greeter: How many in your party Ma'am?
Tami: Two.
Greeter looking one way and then another: I see only one person.
Tami: My husband will be joining me in about twenty minutes.
Greeter with eyebrows raised: Oh, I see. Smoking or non-smoking?
Tami: Non-smoking.
Greeter: Table or booth?
Tami: Table.
Greeter: Adult section or family section?
Tami: How long does this take?
Greeter: We aim to please here. Adult or Family?
Tami: Adult.
Greeter: Indoors or outdoors?
Tami: Good grief...indoors.
Greeter: Thank you ma'am...walk this way..
Tami is sat at a table and left.....a waiter shows up who looks
again
a lot like Katie.
Waiter: What would you like to drink ma'am?
Tami: Water please.
Waiter: Domestic or imported?
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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