Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
buffalo was up really late last night as I got to play chauffeur
for
Buffy and her cousin Crystal when they went out bar hopping.
I think they had a good time unfortunately the last of it is still
fuzzy to Buffy. She appeared coherent but when I go her out by
Nancy's she had her head hanging out the back window. I thought
she just needed some air. I am afraid to look at the side of the
Jimmy. Anyhow after napping on the bathroom floor for an hour
she was finally able to get up and get to bed. When she got up
this morning she texted a few friends and called North Carolina
and is starting to piece everything together.
Here is a little side story from the archives
I was asked recently what it is like living in a border town because
Canada is a foreign country. It is about the same as living on the
border with Wisconsin would be. The average Ontario resident is
English speaking and of the same ethnic and religious background as
those who live on this side. Over they years many have attended
school here, worked here, shopped here, married here, and owned a
home and raised a family here. This works both ways and with the
fluctuations in our currency at times things are cheaper on one side
or the other so people hop on the bridge, pay their 2.50 and drive
across to work or play. It is not a long bridge, actually shorter
than the one between San Diego and Coronado or even the Golden Gate
Bridge, the only difference being the wait to go through customs
which can be minutes or an hour depending on the time of the day or
if you happen to be in a carload of Arabs.
We share a love of Holidays and Americans participate in the Winter
Carnival and gather down by the river to watch the fireworks on
Canada Day which is the first of July and then the Canadians come
across to watch the I-500, enjoy and participate in the 4th of July
Parade and attend the concerts at the Kewadin Casino. We both enjoy
benefits of having each other as neighbors in being able to attract
more stores.
So anyhow the chances of looking in a crowd and finding a Canadian
is pretty small. They aren't all speaking French, wearing a Toque
or saying eh. In an emergency their fire department is there to
help us, in a disaster they are there to contribute, and when 9-11
happened they were there to fight alongside of us in Afghanistan.
All in all it is pretty nice having the Canadians for neighbors and
friends. At least they don't wear chunks of cheese on their head
and root for the Packers on Sunday.
Enjoy the chips ... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Q and A Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Did you hear about the new deodorant called Umpire?
A. It's for foul balls.
Q. Did you hear about the fire in the rednecks library?
A. Both the books got burned, and one hadn't even been coloured in
yet.
Q. Why do Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
A. So no one confuses them with feminists.
Q. Did you see Roman Polanski's new movie?
A. Close Encounters With The Third Grade.
Q. What's the definition of a woman?
A. Life support for a vagina.
Q. What do you get when you cross LSD with birth control?
A. A trip without the kids
Q. Did you hear about the new Vietnamese cookbook?
A. 100 ways to wok your dog.
Q. Why did god create alcohol?
A. So ugly people could get laid too.
Q. What is the difference between a gay and a freezer.
A. The freezer don't fart when you take the meat out!
Q. What's the definition of "Tender Love?"
A. Two gays with hemorrhoids.
Q. Why do they bury Australians 100 feet underground?
A. Because deep, deep down they're nice people.
Q. Why did the Taliban trade his wife for an outhouse?
A. Because the hole was smaller and the smell was better.
Q. What's the most important question to ask when you want to have
safe sex? A.
What time will your husband get home?
Q. Why does everyone wants to work at the impotency clinic?
A. It's a soft job.
Q. What's the difference between wives and secretaries?
A. Secretaries get a little behind at work, wives get a big behind
at home.
Q. Did you hear about the Irishman who went to the toilet?
A. He wiped the chain and pulled himself.
Q. What did God say after creating man?
A. "I can do so much better."
Q. What did he say after he created woman?
A. "Guess I was wrong!"
Q. What's worse than your best friend telling you that he's a gay?
A. When he
tells you that he fucked you that night you passed out drunk on his
couch!
Q. What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others
shoulders? A. A
scrotum pole!
Q. Why won't Israel's Prime Minister give the Palestinian'
land back? A.
Because it's in his wife's name.
Q. Why don't women have brains?
A. They don't have a cock to keep them in!
Q. How do we know God is a man?
A. Because if God were a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate.
Q. Why do they play on artificial turf in Poland?
A. To keep the cheerleaders from grazing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Hell Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day a guy died and found himself in hell. As he was wallowing in
despair, he
had his first meeting with a demon. The demon asked, "Why so glum?"
The guy responded, "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
"Hell's not so bad," the demon said. "We actually have a lot of fun
down here.
You a drinking man?"
"Sure," the man said, "I love to drink."
"Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink.
Whiskey,
tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca. We drink till
we throw up
and then we drink some more!"
The guy is astounded. "Damn, that sounds great."
"You a smoker?" the demon asked.
"You better believe it!"
"You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over
the world
and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, no biggie. You're
already dead,
remember?"
"Wow, the guy said, "that's awesome!"
The demon continued. "I bet you like to gamble."
"Why yes, as a matter of fact I do."
"Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette,
poker,
slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow. You
into drugs?"
The guy said, "Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean . . ."
"That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big
bowl of crack,
or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the
drugs you
want, you're dead, who cares!"
"Wow, the guy said, starting to feel better about his situation, "I
never
realized Hell was such a cool place!"
The demon said, "You gay?"
"No."
"Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Clap Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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For her second number she stripped and danced in sheer bra and G
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The Major asks her, "What happened? How come there was no clapping
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one hand?!!?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Prison Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
These two men were cellmates at state penitentiary for nine years.
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Still having strong reservation Joe asked,
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Larry started the insertion and Joe screamed,
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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AOL Chips
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LynnLynn's Links
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Movie Links
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The doctor took his patient into the room and said, "I have some
good news and some bad news."
The patient said, "Give me the good news."
"They're going to name a disease after you."
Mary: So while I was visiting my friend in the hospital, some
deranged man came stumbling out of his room, picked up a red-headed
nurse, and threw her over his shoulder, saying he was gonna
sacrifice a virgin!
Jill: Oh, no! What did the hospital staff do?
Mary: One intern yelled, "She's no virgin!" Then one maintenance
man, three orderlies, and two MD's shouted, "I can vouch for that!"
A camel and an elephant meet. The elephant asked the camel: "Why do
you have your breasts on your back?"
The camel, clearly irritated, replies: "What a silly question from
someone who has his dick on his face."
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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
When a horse playing golfer named Trey
Goosed a girl in the rough one fine day
He found her, though willing,
Just barely fulfilling..
"I would rate her," said Trey, "a par lay."
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____________
A cock of a fellow named Randall,
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Hannibal's plan made good sense
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Your enemy's awed
When elephants sit on defense
(Gary Hallock)
Ross
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Achmad came to the United States from Afghanistan, and he was only
here
a few months when he became very ill. He went to doctor after
doctor,
but none of them could help him.
Finally, he went to an Arab doctor. The doctor said, "Take dees
bocket,
go into de odder room, poop in de bocket, pee on de poop, and den
put
your head down over de bocket and breathe in de fumes for ten
minutes."
Achmad took the bucket, went into the other room, pooped in the
bucket,
peed on the poop, bent over and breathed in the fumes for ten
minutes.
Coming back to the doctor he said, "It worked. I feel terrific!
"What
was wrong with me?"
The doctor said, "You were homesick."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one
morning and She asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven .
. Which part of Your body goes first?"
Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands." "Why do
you think it's your hands, Suzy?"
Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands Together
in front of you and God just takes your hands first."
"What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.
Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it 's your
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The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face.
"Now, Little Johnny, why do you think it would be your legs?"
Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's Bedroom
the other night.
Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she
Was saying, "Oh God, I'm coming!"
If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her."
Gilbert
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1538
The Error of His Ways
Katie and Rudy are having an argument...
It is getting heated...
Sandi comes over and intervenes: Okay what is this about?
Katie: It is all about Rudy. He made a terrible error.
Rudy: No, I did not. I did nothing wrong, it is Katie who is in
error.
Sandi: Let's start at the beginning. What happened first?
Rudy: I was taking a nap under the apple tree when I got hit on the
head by an
apple. It had an arrow in it. Katie was standing over there with a
bow and
arrow. So I yelled at her to quit.
Katie: Just because I had a bow and arrow doesn't mean the arrow in
that apple
came from my bow and arrow Rudy.
Rudy: Who else around here has a bow and arrow Katie, Cupid?
Sandi: Ah, I see the problem. We must use deductive reasoning here.
We have a
victim a Mr. Rutherford and potential suspect a Miss Katherine. Are
there any
eye witness to the alleged crime?
Rudy: Err-ah no, I was asleep.
Katie: So then it might have been possible this could have been a
dream?
Rudy: No, here is the apple with the arrow through it.
Katie: Gulp!
Sandi: So we do have evidence and a victim. We need to find the
suspect.
Sandi: Katherine, where were you at the time of this incident?
Katie: Err, I was doing missionary work.
Rudy: With a bow and arrow?
Katie: I can spread the word must faster that way.
Sandi: Sounds reasonable. Rudy, was there anyone else around when
you were
awaken?
Rudy: I saw Toots in the back gathering clothes off the clothesline.
Katie: It was her! She probably hid the bow and arrow in the
laundry.
Sandi: We shall continue this investigation in the house.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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