THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Brain cells come and brain cells go,
but fat cells live forever.
_______________
Imagine never buying laundry again
Forget buying laundry detergent for three years
Never buy laundry detergent for three years
The clean and green way to do laundry
Replace chemical-laden laundry detergent with Laundry Ball
Natural, cleaning power ball for laundry
Stop using chemical-laden, water polluting detergent
Do laundry up to two years without paying a dime
Laundry Ball lasts up to three years of doing laundry
Save the planet while doing laundry
Works in all machines at all water temperatures
http://www.tinyurl.com/yhq4h84
=======================
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Invite Your Audience Carefully.
Not everyone is healthy enough
to have front row seats in our lives.
There are some people in your life
that need to be loved from a distance.
It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of,
or at least minimize, your time with draining, negative,
incompatible, not going anywhere relationships/friendships.
Observe the relationships around you...
PAY ATTENTION!!!
Which ones lift and which ones lean?
Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?
Which ones are on a path of growth uphill
and which ones are going downhill?
When you leave certain people
do you feel better or worse?
Which ones always have drama
or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you?
The more you seek quality, respect, growth,
peace of mind, love, and truth around you,
the easier it will become for you to decide
who gets to sit in the front row and
who should be moved
to the balcony of your life.
You cannot change the people around you,
so change the people you're around!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_______________
THE COMICS
computer expo
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p001.html
dear diary
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p002.html
new diet
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p003.html
Mr. Simms
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p004.html
all right
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p005.html
toilet paper
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p006.html
call the agency
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p007.html
at the lepper colony
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p008.html
cheap shot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p009.html
________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
John Madden popcorn
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9193.html
Dennis Swanberg - Bengy and the Zipper
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9194.html
Tango
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9195.html
degas
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9196.html
eggs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9197.html
a close call
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9198.html
A biker is riding a new motorcycle on the highway.
While passing a car, he knocks on the window. The
driver of the car opens the window, "Yes?"
"Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?"
"No I haven't"
The biker drives on, until he sees the next car.
While passing it, he knocks on the window. The driver
of the car opens the window: "Yes?"
"Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?"
"No I haven't"
Then suddenly there is a curve, the biker sees it too
late. He crashes off the road into a ditch. A car stops
and a man runs to the unlucky biker. The biker, while in
severe pain, asks, "Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?"
"Yes I have. I had a Honda for 20 years."
The biker says, "Tell me, where are the brakes?"
____________
A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs
it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting
undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my
door, make my bust-line forty four". Instantly, there
is a brilliant flash of light, and her boobs grow to
enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her
husband what has happened, and in minutes they both
return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and
says: "Mirror mirror on the door, make my "manhood" touch
the floor!". Again, there's a bright flash and both his
legs fall off.
______________
Have you ever wondered where the Phrase
"You Gotta Be Shittin' Me" came from? Well, it just so
happens to have originated through the Father of
Our Country way back when, George Washington was crossing
the Delaware River with his troops.There were 33
[remember this number] in Washington's boat. It
was extremely dark and storming furiously and the water
was tossing them about.Finally, Washington grabbed
Corporal Peters [remember this name] and stationed him
at the front of the boat with a lantern. He ordered him
to keep swinging it, so they could see where they were
heading.Corporal Peters, through driving rain and cold,
continued swinging the lantern back and forth, back and forth.
Then a big gust of wind and a wave hit and threw Corporal
Peters and his lantern into the Delaware. Washington and his
troops searched for nearly an hour trying to find Corporal
Peters, but to no avail. All of them felt terrible, for the
Corporal had been one of their favorites. Sometime later,
Washington and his troops landed on the other side, wet and
totally exhausted. He rallied the troops and told them that
they must go on.Another hour later, one of his men said,
"General, I see lights ahead."They trudged toward the lights
and came upon a huge house. What they didn't know, was that
this was a house of ill repute hidden in the forest to serve
all who came.General Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding
around him. The door swung open, and much to his surprise
stood a beautiful woman. A huge smile came across her face,
to see so many men standing there.
Washington was the first to speak, "Madam, I am General
George Washington and these are my men. We are tired, wet,
exhausted, and desperately need warmth and comfort."
Again, the Madam looked at all the men standing there, and with
a broad smile on her face, said, "Well, General, you have come
to the right place. We can surely give you warmth and comfort.
How many men do you have?"
Washington replied, "Well, madam, there are 32 of us without
Peters."And the Madam said, "You gotta be shittin' me"
_____________
Seven Reasons Why Airplanes Are Easier To Live With Than Women:
1. Airplanes usually kill you quickly - a woman takes her time.
2. Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.
3. Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations.
4. Airplanes don't come with in-laws.
5. Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes.
6. Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.
7. However, when airplanes go quiet, just like women,
it's usually not good.
_____________
A pipe burst in a doctor's house, and he called a plumber.
The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious
plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a
bill for $600. The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous!
Even I don't make that much as a doctor!" The plumber waited
for him to finish and quietly said, "Neither did I when I was
a doctor."
________________
Sheila and George were spending the first night of their
honeymoon in a quaint medieval town in France. To add
piquancy to the evening, Sheila suggested coyly that
they make love every time the old night watchman rang
his hourly bell.
George smiled in delight at this prospect, but four
rings later he pretended that he had to go out to get
some cigarettes and staggered off to the watchman's tower.
"Listen, old man," he wheezed to that worthy, "do me a
favor, will you? For the rest of the night, ring that
bell of yours at two-hour intervals instead of hourly!"
"Ah," replied the ancient watchman, fingering his
mustache, "I would be happy to oblige, monsieur, but I
cannot do this."
"Why not?" George demanded. "I'll give you money, if
that's what's troubling you!"
"Not at all," the old man responded. "You see, a
beautiful young lady has already bribed me to ring the
bell every half hour."
__________
FUN PAGES
Top 35 Craziest Text Messages
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41131&s=n
Mario Star Catcher
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41598&s=n
Do Beer, Not Drugs
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38550&s=n
Eeny Meany Bikini Whoa
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=40948&s=n
______________
BUFFALO BILL
Dirty Sneakers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jdj.htm
Dodge Viper VS Tzero Electric Car
http://www.buffaloschips.com/89uy.htm
Dog In Trance
http://www.buffaloschips.com/t43e.htm
_____________
SYDESJOKES LISTS
Bailout #1
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/toon1/000427.html
Bailout #2
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/toon1/000428.html
Bailout #3
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/toon1/000429.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
No comments:
Post a Comment